Читать книгу The Dare Collection July 2019 - Nicola Marsh, Katee Robert, Katee Robert - Страница 26

CAMERON STALKED AROUND his office. Something was off, but he couldn’t put his finger on the source. It could be all in his head...but he didn’t think so. Instead of the weekend bringing them closer together, Trish had become more and more withdrawn as it went on.

He stared hard at his door, but he’d effectively trapped himself in here. He told her he would respect the work boundaries between them, which meant he couldn’t haul her in here and demand an explanation. And after the day was done, she’d go back to her apartment and...

And what?

Nothing had changed. There was no reason for the dread curdling his stomach. Tomorrow she would be back in the office, and the next day, and the next. They didn’t have to spend every night together, despite the fact that he wasn’t keen on the idea of more distance between them.

You hold her too close, and you’re going to suffocate her.

Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this. Relationships were iceberg-scattered waters under the best of circumstances, and this was hardly that. It didn’t help that Trish wouldn’t talk to him.

Footsteps sounded down the hallway, and Cameron’s chest got light. She was coming to talk to him. This weirdness had to bother her as much as it bothered him, and she wasn’t too conflicted to put it all out in the open here and now. Trish had never been afraid of anything, so there was no reason to think she’d start now.

Except it doesn’t fit in with her plan.

He opened the door and froze. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Aaron raised his eyebrows. “I know I’ve been gone a few weeks, but last time I checked, I’m still the other owner of Tandem Security.”

Suspicion flared. “You’re on paternity leave for another month.”

“Technically, yes, but with the way things are falling out, I thought it’d be prudent to come back on a part-time basis for the rest of my leave. I’ll mostly be working remotely, but I’m officially back.”

Nothing short of a catastrophic event would drag Aaron away from his new family earlier than planned. “What happened?”

His friend’s smile faltered. “Nothing happened, not yet. But since Trish has an interview for a job in California later this week, things might be moving for her, and I don’t want to hold her back. We can find someone else to work the front desk if she needs to quit, but I’m not going to put everything on you while we figure that out. It’s really not that big a deal. Becka and I have found a good rhythm, so cutting out a few hours while they nap to work from home is doable.”

Cameron picked apart everything Aaron had said and focused on the single most important statement. “Trish has an interview.”

“Yeah, she just found out this weekend.”

It struck him that his friend had no idea about the change in their relationship. Cameron sure as hell hadn’t told him and Trish obviously chose not to as well. They’d more or less agreed on keeping things to themselves, but the knowledge stung unexpectedly. Aaron had no clue that his casual mention of Trish making life plans without Cameron would be an issue at all. And why would he?

She didn’t tell me.

If she found out this weekend, she had plenty of opportunity to share that information with him. While they were watching her favorite horror movies. While they were walking down to the restaurants he liked to frequent on the weekends. While they were lying in bed and talking about nothing.

Trish hadn’t said a word.

He knew Aaron was looking at him strangely, but he couldn’t get his reaction under control. “Excuse me.” He shouldered past his friend and stalked down the hall to the front office. Trish looked up as he crossed the threshold and if he hadn’t already known that she kept something from him, her guilty look would have made it clear. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There was nothing to tell.”

It shouldn’t be possible for five little words to bring his hopes for the future crashing to the ground. “You don’t think taking an interview for a position across the country is worth mentioning to me? I was under the impression we were on the same page.” Every word got colder and more remote, but his mouth was a runaway train, and Cameron had never been that good at filtering himself to begin with. “It appears I was mistaken.”

“It’s an interview.” She pushed to her feet and gave him a pleading look. “We talked about this. Every single thing that’s happened to me after graduation has been one step forward and seven steps back. This could be the thing that finally puts my plan back in action. This could be the thing that finally gives me my freedom.”

“Your freedom.” He clipped out the words. Cameron felt Aaron come up behind him, but they’d gone too far to pretend like everything was all right now. “And your fucking plan. You love that damn plan more than you can ever love another person. I understand wanting to get out from beneath your mother’s presence, but fuck, Trish. Did this thing between us really mean so little to you that you’re not even willing to reconsider that plan you worship so much?”

Her guilt disappeared, replaced by anger. “Easy for you to say. You are living your dream job in your dream city, and you’ll eventually succeed in convincing your parents to move out to this side of the country and won’t have to compromise on that, either. What the hell do you know about constantly reaching for something and being constantly told that you’re not good enough?”

“I’m a black man in America, Trish. I think I know a thing or two.”

She stopped, pressed her lips together, but charged on. “Point conceded. But the fact remains that working for Barton Fashion is one of my dream jobs and prematurely saying no to an interview with them because of a guy I’m sleeping with is the height of stupidity.”

“The guy you’re sleeping with,” Aaron muttered behind him.

The guy you’re sleeping with.

That was all this was to her. He’d known. Damn it, he’d been the one to set the terms to begin with. Stupid of him to think that just because things had changed for him that meant they’d changed for her, too. He couldn’t tell her he loved her now. She’d accuse him of trying to keep her from taking the interview—from potentially taking the job—and she’d be right.

He had to let her go.

The realization nearly took him out at the knees. He couldn’t ask her to stay. He might love her, but he had no right to ask her to give up her dreams just because those same dreams would take her away from him. Damn it, he had to end it. “You’re right.”

Trish blinked. “I’m sorry, I thought you just said that I’m right.”

“Because I did. You have to take the interview—and the job, if they offer it. It would be idiotic not to.” Even if you made that choice for me. If she did, she’d spend the rest of their time together resenting him for clipping her wings the same way she felt her mother wanted to, and it would spell the end of them before they had a chance to begin.

Cameron drew himself up, cloaking himself in the coldness he was so often known for. He’d never had to fake it before, though. “Good luck on your interview, Trish. I’ll start looking for your replacement this week.”

* * *

Trish barely saw Cameron the rest of the day, and when she did, he was colder to her than he’d ever been—even when she’d first started working for Tandem Security. She hadn’t wanted him to yell at her or to... God, she didn’t even know how she had wanted him to respond to the news that she had an interview elsewhere.

Not like this, though.

And dealing with Aaron hadn’t been any better. When she’d made it clear that her personal life wasn’t any of his business, he’d announced he was working from home and abandoned her in the office alone with Cameron.

She went over their fight—if someone could call it that—over and over again as the day wound down. Every single point she made still stood. She was sleeping with Cameron, but that didn’t mean she should make life choices based on that fact. She would be worse than an idiot not to take the interview because of a relationship, let alone a relationship that had started barely a week previous. That kind of decision-making was the height of madness. If things with her and Cameron exploded or fizzled out, he’d still have his company...and she’d be back to square one. He was his own safety net.

She needed to be her own, too.

But that didn’t change the truth. She felt utterly terrible. Her chest was one aching hole of despair and her stomach hadn’t stopped twisting itself into knots. Half a dozen times during the day, she rose to walk back to Cameron’s office, but she never made that first step. What was there to say? She had to take this opportunity. Begging him not to be mad at her wasn’t fair to him, not when she’d seen the hurt written on his face before it fell into his distant cold mask. Hurt she had caused. Forcing him to rehash it when she knew they’d both come to the same conclusion was just cruel.

Knowing that didn’t make her feel the least bit better.

Five o’clock rolled around, and she reluctantly clocked out. Trish turned to the elevator, but she couldn’t leave things how they were. She couldn’t. She walked into Cameron’s office. “You would make the same call if our situations were reversed.”

“Undoubtedly.” He didn’t look up from his computer. “I already gave you my blessing, which you already pointed out that you don’t need. I’m just some guy you’re sleeping with, remember?”

Hurt lodged in her throat, and knowing she was the one who’d caused this mess only made it worse. “I don’t see any other option available to me, Cam. I don’t know what you want me to do.”

He sighed in irritation and turned to face her. “This is the only option available to you. But since you’re obviously obsessing over it, let’s play this out. You turn down the interview for some guy you’re fucking, and two options are available as an outcome. Option one—you end up developing a relationship with him, but you resent him because you turned down what could have been your dream job. Things end badly. Option two—the fling fizzles out as flings are wont to do. You can’t deal with working with the guy you were fucking and now aren’t, so you quit and end up moving back in with your parents. Things end badly.” He recited the potential outcome for them as if reading from some report that had nothing to do with him.

As if he didn’t care.

Her throat was too tight, and she tried to swallow past it. “That’s not fair.”

His composure cracked. “What do you want from me?” Cameron slid his chair back, as if even with the desk between them, he couldn’t stand to be that close to her. “Seriously, Trish. What the fuck do you want from me? Do you want me to rail at you and tell you not to go because I love you? Do you really think I’m that selfish? You’ve spent the entire time we’ve known each other talking about your plan, and now you have a chance at achieving it. Good for you. I wish you well. But give me the fucking courtesy of not forcing me to rehash this over and over again until you get the job offer because you feel guilty and want me to grant forgiveness or whatever the hell you want. We had fun while it lasted. It’s over now. The end.”

“You love me?” If anything, the pit in her chest got wider and deeper at the truth he’d spit, a swirling sensation inside her threatening to swallow her whole.

“It. Doesn’t. Matter.” He stood slowly. “Like I said—it’s over now. Get out of my office. Please.”

The please sent her spinning into motion, hurtling out of his office as if the hounds of hell were on her heels. He loved her and it didn’t matter because he’d put his feelings aside so she could accomplish what she’d always wanted to do. She couldn’t stay and keep hurting him just because she didn’t know what the hell she was feeling. She didn’t know what she wanted him to say, but every word had just made it hurt worse.

If they offered her the job, Trish would take it.

Cameron will be okay. He’s too strong to let something like a little heartbreak get him down for long. He’d recover and get back to his normal brilliant, cranky self. It would be okay. They would both be okay.

At the end of the day, that was the only thing that mattered.

Not her broken heart. Not her guilt.

Her plan.

She just had to remember that, because it would be the only thing that got her through the coming months.