Читать книгу Too Friendly to Date - Nicole Helm - Страница 12
ОглавлениеWHEN A KNOCK sounded on her door, Leah wanted to punch something. Scratch that. Someone. Lungs aching, head pounding, she trudged to the door ready to give Jacob a piece of her mind.
She didn’t have the energy for this. She was too busy beating herself up for being careless and letting Jacob catch her in her carelessness. He was such a worrier, and she hated the thought of him worrying over her.
She’d been through the smothering thing. She didn’t handle it well. Or at all. The last thing she needed was to screw up her life all over again because the people around her wouldn’t let her breathe, make her own decisions, be in charge.
MC, her friends, everything about the person she was now was what she wanted. Desperately. She was happy, for the first time in too long to remember. Life was good, and she was steps away from getting her family back.
If Jacob ruined that by hovering, by maneuvering, by being everything she couldn’t stand, it would end it all.
Jesus, could she get any more overdramatic? She’d handled a hell of a lot worse than an overworried friend/boss. She wasn’t going to let him be the end of anything. No way. Which meant she had to put on the tough-girl shell and prove once and for all there was nothing to worry over.
The tough-girl shell was a little exhausting after a long day of hard work and setbacks. On a deep breath, Leah wrenched open the door and fixed Jacob with her most furious glare. “Go. Away.”
“Truck won’t start.” His shoulders were hunched, the collar of his coat almost reaching his ears. Cold air whipped in through the open door. “Going to make me freeze?”
“No,” Leah mumbled. She moved out of the way so Jacob could step inside.
“I’ll call a tow truck, have Kyle come pick me up. Just need some warmth for a bit.” His voice was gruff, his posture stiff. Jacob was angry and, well, that didn’t happen very often.
Crap.
“I can take a look.”
“Don’t bother.”
Yeah, double crap. “Just let me—”
“Don’t worry about it.” He was typing something into his phone, expressly not moving any farther into her house or taking off his coat. His ears and nose were bright red.
“You want something hot to drink?”
He glanced up from his phone. “Now you’re offering me hot drinks? Because about fifteen minutes ago you were all but kicking me out.”
A mix of guilt and irritation and shame propelled her toward the kitchen. Oh, she hated that even temper of his. Because she never could be angry in the face of his anger. It was so hard to piss off Jacob and she got irritated at the drop of a hat.
Which meant, if Jacob was mad and snotty, she’d stepped over a line and the tough-girl shell wasn’t the answer. Unfortunately, reason and apologizing were the answer. She hated apologizing and, damn it, she hated being wrong enough to have to.
“I don’t have coffee or hot chocolate. Just tea.”
“I’ll survive. Here. Found a tow number.”
“Don’t call a tow truck. Let me look at it first.” When she turned to face Jacob, he was standing in the entry to her kitchen, frowning.
“It’s freezing out there.” He didn’t mention earlier, though God knew that was what this was about. Even pissed, he was worried about her.
For a second, just a sliver of a second, there was some stupid, girlie part of her that thought it was kind of sweet. Until she remembered how fast worrying could snowball to babying, controlling.
“I have a jacket. A hat. Gloves. All these magical things to keep me warm.”
“And just how many brain cells do you think you lost when you practically couldn’t breathe for a few minutes? Not sure I can trust your judgment.”
She gritted her teeth, did everything to keep the snap out of her tone. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, are you? You hadn’t mentioned that eight million times. Just shut up for a few minutes so I can call the tow.”
She grabbed the phone out of his hand as he held it to his ear. “Don’t be stubborn and stupid.”
He snorted. “You oughta talk.”
“I’m...” Oh, God, she hated this part. “Sorry. I’m sorry I was kind of an ass before. I just can’t stand being hovered over.”
His eyebrows lifted. “I was hovering?”
Okay, not really. Not suffocating, anyway. She’d been pretty bad off and he’d been worried. It was just, she couldn’t tell him why that scared her or put her back up. She couldn’t explain it was the thing she most feared.
Because she wouldn’t admit to anyone she feared anything. “I said I’m sorry. What more do you want?”
He rolled his eyes. “Not a damn thing, Leah. Just give me my phone.” He held out his hand and she stared at it.
They came to impasses like this from time to time. Both so certain they were right. Both irritated and defensive. She hated the way it tied her up in knots. She hated feeling guilty and stupid, but most of all she hated the thought of him being angry with her.
Which was so pathetic it was laughable.
“My family thinks you asked me out at New Year’s last year.” It was the only thing that would distract him no matter how much she dreaded discussing it, and it was better than arguing. “Besides that, I haven’t talked much about it. If Mom asks I say we went to a movie or dinner and I change the subject. It’s not like I’ve created some elaborate fantasy. You’re a prop. I don’t enjoy lying to them. It’s just necessary.”
He studied her with an unreadable expression. So rarely did he have a poker face, it made her nervous and uncomfortable. She went back to focusing on making the tea he probably wouldn’t drink. Then she remembered she still had his phone, and she stopped abruptly halfway between him and the stove.
“Why is it necessary to lie?”
The heart that wasn’t hers ached in a place that was. “I told you why. The whole thinking-I-need-a-man thing.”
“Okay, I get why that bugs you, but why lie to them about it? You’re not exactly the pretend-to-be-something-you’re-not type.”
Leah frowned. It was true, but this was different. So much more important. “They’re my family.”
“They should love you for who you are.”
“I owe them too much for that.” Disgusted with herself for saying it, she handed him his phone. “I’m going to go put my coat on, find a flashlight and take a look at your car. Might be able to jury-rig something.”
“Leah—”
She didn’t stick around to find out what he wanted to say. She’d revealed too much already.
* * *
“THERE. START IT.”
Jacob looked down at the engine Leah had been fooling around with. Between the streetlight and her flashlight, he could see well enough. Unfortunately, he knew jack about cars, so seeing it didn’t help the situation. “You really think you fixed it?”
“It’s below freezing. Start the damn car and we’ll find out.”
Since her teeth were chattering and he wasn’t exactly warm and cozy, either, he hurried to the driver’s side and turned the key in the ignition. When the engine started, he stared, a little dumbfounded and possibly a little emasculated. “You did it.”
Her mouth quirked into a grin. It was dark, but her face was illuminated by streetlights and headlights. He stood with his hand on the keys, wondering at how he’d let a girl fix his car.
“Aw, come on. Don’t be one of those guys.”
“One of what guys?”
“The guy who gets his panties in a twist because a woman knows more about cars than he does.”
“My panties aren’t in a twist,” Jacob grumbled. He wasn’t one of those guys. More power to her. Really. He’d work on that feeling, anyway.
Leah laughed. “Your car works. Go home, huh?”
Jacob scowled at her. She was all bundled up in her heavy jacket and bulky stocking cap, but she was smiling and even in the dim light he could see she wasn’t as gray and pale as she’d been.
“Your color’s back.” He didn’t realize it was a mistake until his fingertips grazed the skin of her cheek and something electric and upending met with the touch.
She didn’t back away, didn’t looked shocked or disgusted or angry or amused. For a second, just a nanosecond, it was almost as if she leaned into it.
That...couldn’t be. Jacob pulled his hand away, trying to make sense of it. That she might want him to touch her. That was crazy, though. They were friends, and she’d always gone out of her way to make sure he knew he was not her type.
“Good night, Jacob.” Quickly, she walked away. The weird moment was gone, but he couldn’t stop turning it over in his mind.
He watched her go, a big, shapeless figure in the frigid dark. She disappeared inside, her door closing with a distinct thud.
Leah. Wanting him to touch her. Liking him touching her.
You touched her cheek, you whack job.
Yes. Yes, that. It had been an innocent touch in the cold and there was nothing to sit here and think over. He jammed his hand back into his glove.
But even as he got in his car and drove back home, the moment stuck in his mind. And he wondered something he’d never allowed himself to wonder before.
What if this little attraction he’d always shoved to the back of his brain wasn’t so lopsided?
He didn’t have an answer for that, but he knew one thing. The question was going to haunt him for a very long time.
* * *
“SO, WHAT’S UP with you?” Grace plopped in the seat next to Leah. The kitchen at MC was always a revolving door around lunchtime, everyone eating on varying schedules. Ever since Grace had moved into MC earlier this year when the ex-boyfriend who’d beaten her up had gotten out of jail, it wasn’t unusual that Grace and Leah would eat together, but Leah had to admit she’d been hoping to eat alone today.
So, she almost said she was fine. Almost smiled and shoved the offensive sandwich in front of her down her throat, but that wouldn’t solve her dilemma. “I need to tell you something, and, for the sake of my sanity, I need you not to tell me I’m nuts.”
“Even if you are?”
“Especially if I am.”
“Gotcha. Shoot.”
“So, you know how my family is coming on Friday and we haven’t always been the kind of close-knit family you have and all that?”
Grace nodded, cracking open a can of pop and thankfully giving Leah time to spit it all out.
Leah pushed the plate away. She couldn’t beat the nausea that all these nerves and stress were causing. “Well, they have this thing about being really overprotective, and in an effort to downplay some of that overprotectiveness, I kind of lied about a few things to them.”
“You want us to corroborate?”
Leah nodded. If she was a hugger, she’d have her arms around Grace right now for understanding so well. But then, she hadn’t told what they needed to corroborate yet, either.
Leah swallowed. “I made up a boyfriend.”
Grace laughed. “Wait. Seriously?”
“Yup.”
“Okay, so...if they bring up a boyfriend we just smile and nod and pretend like we know about him. We can do that.” Grace squeezed her arm. “Hardly a favor worth getting nervous about asking.”
“I’m not totally done.”
“Oh. Okay. So, what’s the rest?”
“I didn’t make up a boyfriend, exactly. I used someone real as my fake boyfriend.”
“Really? Who? If it was Ryan Gosling I don’t think you’re fooling anybody.”
Leah wished she could laugh, but the nerves and fear over Grace’s reaction closed her throat, making it impossible.
“Leah? Who is it?”
“Jacob.”
Grace laughed. “Am I supposed to understand whispered mumbling? Come on. Who is it?”
Leah stared hard at her hands, and this time when she spoke she made sure to enunciate. “Jacob.”
“Jacob,” Grace repeated.
Leah could only nod.
“My brother, Jacob. That Jacob?”
Again Leah nodded. Preparing herself for a lecture on being crazy or explaining how it would never work or anything besides understanding.
“Makes sense.”
Man, the McKnights sure didn’t make it easy on her to beat herself up. Both Jacob and Grace acted as if it was the most normal thing in the world for her to pretend Jacob was her boyfriend.
“Have you told Jacob?”
“Yeah.”
When Grace didn’t say anything else, Leah thunked her forehead against the table. “And this is where you’re dying to tell me I’ve gone batshit crazy.”
“No.” But a weighty silence followed and Leah braced herself for something. “And Jacob agreed to pretend, I’m assuming.”
“Yeah.” Leah shook her head, gave her forehead another thunk. “Say it. Just, whatever it is, tell me. I can handle it.” Maybe.
“Don’t you think it might be a little awkward pretending to be with Jacob considering...”
Leah straightened in her chair, the heat of embarrassment climbing her cheeks and forehead. “Considering what?”
“Well, you guys just have...a thing.”
“A thing?”
“Yeah. Like a weird energy. Like maybe there’s a little interest or attraction there. Kyle and I have both definitely noticed a thing.”
“There is no thing. We’re thingless! Well, he’s not. I mean, I assume he’s not. It’s not like I actually know. Oh, my God. Shut me up. Please.”
Grace was doubled over laughing and Leah wanted to disappear into the floor, but it was all so ridiculous she found herself laughing, too.
When was she going to accept this plan was stupid? Crazy? When would she accept lying probably wasn’t the best way to reunite with her family?
Probably never. Because she’d thought about this problem for months. Going over every detail in her mind. Every possible scenario, but none of them worked. None of them allowed her what she wanted. Nothing except this crazy scheme.
“Leah, be straight with me.”
Leah met Grace’s steady gaze and sighed. “Okay, maybe there’s a little thing. But it’s...nothing. It won’t be awkward. It’s a favor. We’re just friends, and I can’t imagine anything that would change that.”
Grace looked less than convinced, but she didn’t say anything more and that was why she was Leah’s best friend. “It’s just pretend. For a week. What could possibly happen?”
Grace shook her head, but before she could offer any worst-case scenarios, Jacob and Kyle walked into the kitchen.
In the end, Leah didn’t know if the interruption was a good thing or not.
