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Chapter 1

How Our Cottage Rules Evolved

The night my father passed, he was visited by his physician. The doctor was describing the next few hours, how everyone should visit, how we should surround Pops with the things he loved — some good quality scotch, family pictures, and pictures of his two cottages. He looked up at the doctor, suddenly realizing what all this meant. Alarmed, he blurted, “You mean I won’t be back to camp?

Dad’s cottages were where he found peace. He was a restless man; the cottage was a place where he could relax on a rocking chair (preferably rocking a grandchild to sleep), go fishing, or make bread, beans, or spaghetti sauce — his specialties.

Building was his passion. He skillfully constructed five dwellings for his family at a time when buying land and building on it was much more affordable than today. Having worked in the lumber business, my father had many opportunities to find bargains on the materials he needed to construct his cottages.

Bush Camp

When I was a little girl, the cottage we owned was only accessible by bush plane or portage. The portage as I remember it was a mosquito-infested affair where you carried your belongings and supplies for the duration of your stay over land that separated two bodies of water, both of which you crossed in small boats.

Our Bigwood Lake cottage was a log cabin on a lake where there was only one neighbor, Back of the Moon Lodge. For me, that lake represents true wilderness. To this day, there are only three camps on the whole lake. And not too far away is a ghost town — Sellwood — an old logging town left as it was. Although that cabin actually wasn’t that far from my home, it has a mystique that hasn’t dissipated.

This cottage had already been in my family for close to 20 years when I was born, and although we shared it with other families, I never saw them. I knew they occupied the cottage during times when we were not there because we had a log book that everyone wrote in, recounting their cottage adventures; who visited, and highlights of their sojourn.

I have fond memories of my family’s time at this cabin, and some members of the family still use it every year. My father passed his share of Bigwood on to one of my brothers, when his health began to fail and my mother’s work brought him physically close to the camp. Although this brother is the true partner, this arrangement allows any of us to book time through him. The fishing is still wonderful and great additions have been made to the cottage: a beautiful deck overlooking the lake, a screened porch to hide from all those mosquitoes, and solar panels which power a sauna — no more washing in the lake! As always, aging buildings need TLC. Regular maintenance and upgrades are part of the groundwork for ease of use and happy memories in the making.

The next cottage my father built was on French River. It was a beautiful A-frame that we shared with another family. The terrain was spectacular: long expanses of smooth rock weathered by the elements. I remember yummy rum and raisin ice cream at the trading post where a boulder that had been worn smooth by water lay resting at the bottom of a crevice. Very impressive!

Manitoulin

When I was 11, my father built the cottage I now share with my siblings. It is on McGregor Bay on Lake Huron, on leased First Nations land. My father enlisted the help of his whole family to build this cottage. It took a few years to complete, and we have found that it is a work in progress. We add and repair continually; new roofing, staining the buildings and decks, the addition of a woodshed, new docks and decks, and interior improvements.

My favorite time at the cottage is early morning. I’m usually the first one up. I love going down to the dock when the water is like glass and the world is quiet and peaceful. Sitting there, surveying the scene before me, I feel the warmth of the sun on my face. Breathing in the smell of the cedars, hearing the rhythm of the waves, my senses come back to life and I feel I am connected in a way that makes me slow down and be my true self, my “kid-self” — happy and free and living in the moment.

I try to carry this sentiment with me through the rest of the year; when the winter is especially cold and blustery, or in times of stress, I recall these peaceful times. It helps me to experience the quiet and feel a certainty that all is well. My perspective on any situation is what matters. I can smoothe over rough edges with my mind’s eye and create peaceful, positive outcomes by remaining calm and positive.

Inheriting the Cottage

My father battled cancer for eight years, and during that time he asked me over and over again, “Should I leave the camp to the four of you?” and “Will you be okay?”

He was gravely concerned about the cottage staying in the family for everyone to enjoy, including his growing grandchildren. He was also concerned that there would be discord among us — that we would have trouble managing the cottage cordially. My answer was always, “We’ll be fine!” (I am an optimist!)

I didn’t know how, but I trusted the four of us (I have two older brothers and a younger sister) would develop a set of rules. Having been in partnerships in the past, I knew we had enough combined experience to write a set of rules that would sustain us for many years. The partnership agreement and operating rules set out in this book evolved out of this commitment to my father that we would share the cottage equitably.

Coming Together

My cottage is shared by four partners who are siblings. My oldest brother is a successful businessman whose forte is sales. He has strong ideas and the ability to express them. He lives six hours away from the cottage; his two children live one hour away.

My next oldest brother is a doctor. He is a very capable carpenter, and we appreciate his contributions to the cottage. His schedule can be tight, but his children live nearby.

My sister is an entrepreneur who runs a corporate video production company in a big city, four and a half hours away from the cottage. She and her two children always look forward to getting away from the city.

I am a realtor with four children. My husband is extremely capable and often lends his talents to the cottage.

Our parents were separated, and there have been several divorces among the partners. My father’s common-law wife and my mother still use the cottage, although neither one is a partner. All the grandchildren book the cottage during the summer months for their getaways.

You can see how complicated sharing our cottage can get … but with our rules, it needn’t be. We are all individuals with strong personalities, but when it comes to the cottage, we understand that we must run it with a spirit of cooperation.

Our father passed away several years ago and The Cottage Rules we set out still work for us today. Everyone’s situation will differ slightly. You can easily adapt the rules so they will work for you!