Читать книгу Doctor Scratch and Other Plays - Noël le Breton - Страница 7

ACT I

The scene is London, around 1675. The street before Bloodgood’s surgery.

Martin

What, sir? You say you wish to remarry?

Loveless

Yes, yes—I wish to remarry, and to better succeed, I have sent my son to Oxford under the pretext of studying for his degree.

Martin

I understand perfectly. But, may one ask the name of your bride-to-be?

Loveless

Certainly. It’s Olivia.

Martin

What! The daughter of Dr. Bloodgood?

Loveless

The same.

Martin

You are joking, sir—this girl isn’t yet eighteen, and would be more suitable for your son than for you.

Loveless

I don’t intend to let my son marry for three or four years.

Martin

But, sir, did you consider carefully what you are doing when you got this idea to marry Olivia?

Loveless

Did I consider carefully? Yes, yes—I gave it a lot of thought. She’s beautiful; she’s intelligent; she’s young; she’s idealistic. In fact, she has a lot of qualities that are simply not to be disparaged.

Martin

Well, these are beautiful traits to keep you from thinking—for to be honest with you, none of these traits go with an old man.

Loveless

Huh? I am not that old!

Martin

Oh, yeah! If we were in those times when men lived seven or eight hundred years—you’d only be an adolescent; but, in the times we live, you’re well along in your race.

Loveless

But, sixty years—

Martin

My word. Not to lie, I believe you have at least twelve or fourteen more years, for I remember that the other day the good Mr. Hurtle, drinking a cup of wine with you, said he was more than sixty-six, and that you were in college when he was in first form, and in a college play, he played cupid, and you played King Arthur.

Loveless

He doesn’t know what he’s talking about; he’s one of those men who like to pretend they’re older than they are.

Martin

Leave the age business aside, for, as they say, it’s only for the grey hair. But, let us talk a little about your marriage. Do you believe that Dr. Bloodgood and Augusta, his wife, will give you their daughter—she being an only child? When one has only a daughter, and marries her—it’s in the hope she’ll produce grandchildren. But, not to sugar the pill, if you marry her, they run the risk of never having that joy—at least without some assistance—you understand me.

Loveless

None of this is your affair—and I know what I am doing. When she is my wife, we’ll do what needs to be done.

Martin

My word, I doubt she ever will be your wife.

Loveless

Well, as for me, I am certain of it. Dr. Bloodgood is a man of his word—he has given me his solemn promise that she will be mine.

Martin

Well, that’s something. But, you know that Augusta is a domineering woman—and, if I don’t deceive myself, she has the look of wearing the pants.

Loveless

I know she’s a little proud. But the advantages I will bring her daughter will soften her pride—and besides, a husband is always the master of his wife.

Martin

Always! My word. I’ve seen many that don’t live agreeably, and who wish with all their heart that you speak true. But, here is Dr. Bloodgood, who is leaving his house.

(Enter Dr. Bloodgood from his house.)

Bloodgood

Ah, it’s you, Mr. Loveless?

Loveless

At your service. I came to speak of this business.

Bloodgood

What business?

Loveless

Oh, the one that—you know about it—

Bloodgood

What?

Loveless

The business we spoke about together?

Bloodgood

When?

Loveless

Huh—several times.

Bloodgood

Where?

Loveless

Several places.

Bloodgood

I don’t know what it is.

Loveless

About your daughter’s marrying me.

Bloodgood

Oh, is that all? I thought you meant something else. About that? You know I’ve given my word. You’ve only to choose the day. Rest at ease. You are the master of that business.

Loveless

I’m obligated to you. But, have you taken the trouble to speak to your better half?

Bloodgood

No, but I give you her consent. She’s submissive to my will—and I know how to deal with her if she makes any difficulty: I am a man who knows how to inject a little reason into a woman.

Loveless

I don’t doubt it.

Bloodgood

Actually, I’d like to see her puff up in front of me. If she crossed me, I would make her see how stupid she is. But, thank heaven, I don’t have to trouble. In a word, my wife does everything that I wish.

Loveless

Decide, if you please, which of us will speak of it first to her; it’s a propriety I ought to observe, for, as you know, the ladies are jealous of their littler prerogatives.

Bloodgood

Willingly, and to get on with it, I am going to bring her here.

(Exit Dr. Bloodgood into the house.)

Loveless

Well, Martin? What do you say to that?

Martin

Everything’s going fine, and I’m very easy because of your father-in-law.

(Enter Dr. Bloodgood with Augusta.)

Bloodgood

Wife, here’s our good friend, Mr. Loveless.

Augusta

Ah, I am his servant, and delighted to see him.

Bloodgood (low to Loveless)

It will be more becoming if you speak first.

Loveless (low to Bloodgood)

You begin, then I’ll follow up.

Bloodgood (low)

You can explain better than I.

Loveless

Not at all. Besides, reason dictates that you should open the subject.

Bloodgood

It’s up to you to take the first step.

Loveless

I’ve done it for you, and you ought to predispose her before I speak to her.

Augusta

At least, tell me what you’re squabbling over, and why you brought me here.

Loveless

A mere bagatelle.

Bloodgood

Wife, it’s our friend Mr. Loveless who asks for the hand of our daughter in marriage.

Augusta

And for whom?

Loveless

For me, madam, but under conditions which cannot be disagreeable to you. Doubtless, at first blush, my age would give you some repugnance to the idea—but, when you know, madam, that I will make you a fine settlement on your daughter, and that I will take her without a dowry—and that your husband has already given me his word—I dare to hope you will be as kind.

Augusta

All these matters are very weighty—but your age, sir, does not agree with my daughter’s, and one often sees young women who make such marriages fall into disorderly conduct. The caresses of an old man are not meant for a young woman: in fact, they create an antipathy, and we see even nature itself revolt. Thus, to avoid these possible disgraces to my family, you will appreciate why I refuse to give my consent.

Loveless

But, your husband has given me his word.

Augusta

I believe it, but obviously he hasn’t considered it carefully, for if he had, he would be—doubtless—of my opinion.

Loveless

Sir, you know you promised me.

Augusta

I believe, as I said before, that he did promise Olivia to you—but he can de-promise her to you—for believe me, it won’t happen.

Loveless

Sir, a man of honor ought to hold to his word. Didn’t you promise your daughter in marriage to me?

Bloodgood

Hey—all that is true—

Augusta

Well—if he promised her—I did not. And that’s enough.

Bloodgood

Wife.

Augusta

Hey—my God, leave me alone. I know very well what I’m doing.

Bloodgood

But, it’s necessary—to keep one’s—

Augusta

It’s necessary not to make such glib promises. One more time, it’s never going to happen. And, your arguments couldn’t be worse than they are. Goodbye, sir. Get it in your head that you will never marry my daughter.

(Exit)

Augusta

Sir?

Bloodgood

What do you want?

Martin

She’s submissive to my will—and I know how to deal with her if she makes any difficulty: I am a man who knows how to inject a little sense into a woman. I’d like to see her puff up in front of me. If she crosses me, I’d make her see how stupid she is. In a word, my wife does everything I wish.

Bloodgood

You are an impertinent!

Loveless

Indeed, Martin’s right. And, this is the speech you made to me before we spoke to your wife.

Bloodgood

True, but we must be patient. It’s not necessary to get carried away right from the start. Sometimes one ought to temporize. I promised you— All right, leave it to me.

Martin

All right, leave it to him. He’ll spoil everything. My word, you’d better believe the words of the wife, and not those of this gentleman. You can see quite clearly that she is the sole mistress and master.

Bloodgood

You don’t know what you are saying.

Martin

No, but I know you will be furiously repulsed in any siege effort. Tell me, if you please, who is the boss—you or your wife?

Bloodgood

I am.

Martin

Oh, yeah! In words, but not in deeds.

Bloodgood

You’ll learn that I am master in fact, and in words, too. You are a fool!

Martin

Ah, sir, I’m not going to dispute that quality with you.

Bloodgood

Shut up! (to Loveless) Sir, once more—enough— Goodbye.

(Exit Bloodgood into the house.)

Martin

Ho, devilishly well said. Sir, you ought no longer to hope to marry Miss Olivia, because that opinionated and imperious mother will never give her to you. As for the husband, he’s a fine doctor, a good astrologer, a great psychic—but he’s not master in his own house. You cannot build on his promises.

Loveless

But, don’t I see Scratch?

Martin

Yes, sir. It’s Scratch, all right.

(Enter Scratch.)

Scratch

Ah! Sir, your servant. Good day, Martin.

Martin

Good day.

Loveless

What brings you to town?

Scratch

Your son sent me by coach. I’ve only been in town a few hours.

Martin

By coach? You should have been sent on foot.

Loveless

Why did he send you?

Scratch

Sir, here’s a letter that will tell you everything.

Loveless (reading)

“Father”—hmm— This isn’t his style or handwriting. Are you making fun of me?

Scratch

No, sir. I ask your pardon. You see, I lost his letter on the way. So, I had a peasant who could write make me another one. I know that he was asking for money, and that he promised to be a good boy in the future, and not to do it again. Read the rest of the letter.

Loveless

Huh— I’m satisfied with what I’ve read.

Martin

What, did you dictate to the peasant?

Scratch

Yeah, I did. What are you getting at?

Martin (ironically)

Nothing. But, it’s well-contrived, ho, ho.

Scratch

You know, you always talk big—but by God, remember—I’m smarter than you.

Martin

Ho, ho—without a doubt.

Scratch

Damn! Would you like a punch? You will see—

Loveless

Will you both shut up!

Scratch

But, sir, he always pretends to know everything, and thinks no one’s as smart as he is.

Martin

Oh—I defer to you.

Loveless

One more time—shut up. But, Scratch, you say my son has spent all his money after four months.

Scratch

Yes, sir. If it wasn’t true, I wouldn’t say it.

Loveless

It’s gone awfully fast. But, go get some sleep. I will talk to you about it later. I have some pressing business right now. Come on—follow me, Martin.

(Exit Loveless and Martin.)

Scratch

Hola! He thinks he’s the only one who knows anything. Damn, when he takes up that grave attitude, you’d think no one else in the world was as wise as he. He acts like he knows more than anybody.— But, let’s go to Loveless’s and get some money—of which my master has a great need. The expenditures he makes each day! But, I see him coming. It’s not a good idea to tell him I lost his letter—he might abuse me.

(Enter Gerald.)

Gerald

Tell me, what are you doing here?

Scratch

Nothing, sir.

Gerald

What—two days after I left you, you haven’t been to my father yet?

Scratch

No, sir, but I met him in the street, and that did our business.

Gerald

How is that?

Scratch

I gave him your letter, and told him your need for money. And that, briefly, is all that’s happened.

Gerald

And, what did he say to you?

Scratch

Nothing, except to go home and that he would speak to me later. At the moment, he has some business.

Gerald

Didn’t he interrogate you about my behavior?

Scratch

Very little, but I expect he soon will, and that is why I must wait on him.

Gerald

Be careful what you say, at least.

Scratch

Hey, leave it to me. We are not so stupid as we are badly dressed. He believes all my nonsense.

Gerald

Watch out for Martin at all times. As you know, he’s got a big mouth.

Scratch

I don’t care about him! God, because he knows how to read and write, he imagines that I am not as wise as he. I have a good idea to give him a fat lip.

Gerald

He’s with my father?

Scratch

Yes, and wants to argue already. But, we’ve struck back. Go—rely on me. You know that I am not a mere talker—I get things done that you want done. Where are you coming from?

Gerald

Olivia told me she has something she wants to tell me, and that I would find her about this house.— But, I see her coming.

(Enter Olivia and Lettice from the house.)

Olivia

Gerald, you come too soon. I told you to come later. You’re two hours early.

Gerald

You’re right, madam, but you know the impatience that routinely torments lovers, and how they believe their pains are eased when they can see the place where they will meet the person they love.

Olivia

Gerald, stop the flattery, because I cannot stay long with you. I am going to pay a visit, and my mother will come to get me. You must know something, though. Your father wants to marry me.

Gerald

My father?

Olivia

Yes, your father—and my father has promised me to him. But my mother, you know, rules the roost, and has strongly rebuffed goodman Loveless. Now, see the mess we are in: for when I told my mother the love I had for you, and got her to be favorable to my wishes, your father wouldn’t consent. Without your father’s agreement, we can hope for nothing from my mother. Goodbye—I am afraid she’s coming right behind me.

(Exit Olivia and Lettice. Lettice and Scratch make exaggerated bows to each other.)

Gerald

What should I do now, Scratch?

Scratch

What crazy logic made the old mercenary amorous at the age of seventy-four? Without a doubt, that’s why he sent us to Oxford. But, we’ve got to prevent him from marrying. And that’s done only with money—and then, we’ll cut him out of the game. Look at the old gallowsbird: he needs girls of eighteen to cheer him up! He isn’t completely disgusting—he digests it well—he just needs a refill.

Gerald

But, what to do, Scratch?

Scratch

Try to speak to her alone—and that will resolve all your affairs. She will give you—many possible ways.

Gerald

Come, I am going to write a letter that you will deliver to Lettice when they come home.

Scratch

But, I ought to go to your father’s house.

Gerald

I want you to deliver my letter before going there.

CURTAIN