Читать книгу Wake Me When I'm Gone - Odafe Atogun - Страница 9

THREE

Fortunately, I did not need to buy anything from Main Street in the days that followed, as no one would have sold it to me. I got all that Noah and I needed from our barn and farm, and I couldn’t have cared less that the village’s economy was in deepening recession.

I was consumed by fear. What would happen to my son if the law the Chief made reference to indeed existed? Again, it occurred to me that to keep Noah alive I must not marry the Chief. But that would mean losing him to his uncle Jaja; this I could not bear. I contemplated running away with Noah in the middle of the night, but we had nowhere to go, and I knew that we would not get far before the Chief’s guards caught up with us.

Going to my parents or my in-laws for help was out of the question. The Chief had given them acres of farmland and countless labourers. They would only compound my woes in order to receive more favours from the Chief – more land allocation, more labourers to till their farms. They could even be appointed as lesser chiefs, and that would attract a lot more benefits for them. I thought of turning to Chair-Lady. She had influence, but I wasn’t sure if she would want to help me.

I felt helpless.

All I could do was pray. But to whom? To the gods of my land, who were obviously responsible for my predicament, or to the god who dwelled in heaven, of whom the missionary had preached?

Surely, the gods of my land would not answer my request – they were on the Chief’s side. I had never really believed in the god of whom the missionary spoke. But pathetic as I was, it occurred to me that I was better off turning to him for help. There must be someone up there, I reasoned; after all, it was natural to look heavenward when one was in distress. So I looked up and I prayed. I prayed so hard that afternoon that tears came to my eyes. I prayed that the god in heaven would protect us from the Chief and the laws of our land.

Afterwards, I went to check on Noah in his room. He was fast asleep. He looked so innocent and defenceless. I kissed him gently on the cheek, and vowed to protect him with my life. Carefully, I shifted his head on the pillow, and then I went out to the backyard to do some work.

As I hoed the earth, I kept repeating my prayer subconsciously, until it became a sad song in my mouth. I raised my face to heaven. Surely, someone must be up there, someone more powerful than the gods of my village, who ruled the affairs of the universe. Surely, it cannot be just an empty vastness up there. Surely.

Somehow, I felt better. I went to take a bath after I had finished working. I was in the kitchen getting ready to prepare our evening meal when Noah awoke and joined me. He looked groggy with sleep and greeted me with a yawn.

‘How are you, Mother?’

‘I’m fine. And how are you? Did you sleep well?’

‘Yes, I did. But I had a dream,’ he said, a small frown on his face.

I patted a stool. ‘Come and sit down and tell me your dream.’

He sat next to me. The frown on his face deepened. ‘I cannot remember the dream,’ he said.

‘That means it’s a good dream.’ I smiled at him.

‘You think so?’

‘Good dreams are always difficult to remember, but bad ones are hard to forget,’ I explained to him.

He frowned some more and said, ‘I can remember a bit of the dream now!’

‘What do you remember?’

‘I remember building a house . . .’

‘A house?’

‘Yes. After building the house, I went to look for the orphans I saw on the outskirts of the village.’

I frowned for a moment, then smiled. ‘You see, because it was difficult for you to remember, it means that it is a good dream.’

‘It was a very colourful house,’ he continued.

‘It means that you will build an orphanage one day . . .’

‘I’d love to build an orphanage one day! I’d love to build it for the boys I saw.’ His voice had come alive.

‘It’s a good dream,’ I said quietly, after a few moments.

‘Thank you, Mother. I hope I dream it again.’

We fell into silence as I sat on a low stool and began to blend tomatoes and peppers on the grinding stone.

*

A few days later, while Noah was out playing, I made my way to the palace. The days were ticking by and I felt a desperate need to make my case before the Chief. No one greeted me as I went, and I greeted no one. I thought of passing through Main Street, but I decided against it.

I walked quickly, eager to reach the palace. I prayed that I would find favour before the Chief, but I did not feel hopeful. A number of men returning from the farms avoided me. Some women hissed and clapped their hands in anger. I did not care to look at any of them.

I was met by a single guard when I got to the palace. And I was surprised to see that he carried a sword instead of the usual short stick. I did not bother to greet him. ‘I’m here to see the Chief,’ I said to him.

‘The Chief is not at home,’ he replied, raising his voice and his sword.

Other guards promptly appeared, alerted by the voice of their colleague. They all carried swords. And it occurred to me that the Chief had increased his security because I was now considered to be a serious threat.

‘I need to see the Chief,’ I repeated.

‘What does she want?’ one of the other guards shouted.

‘She wants to see the Chief,’ the first guard replied. ‘I told her the Chief is not here.’

‘Yes, the Chief is not here,’ the others replied in chorus.

‘Where has he gone?’

‘It’s none of your business!’

‘I have come to marry him,’ I said, without thinking.

And then they all smiled and put their swords away.

‘You should have said so,’ the first guard said.

‘Can I see him now?’

‘Come with me, please.’ He beckoned me to follow him.

‘No, he has to come out to see me,’ I said. ‘He needs to give me a public welcome before I go into the palace.’

They all grinned sheepishly.

‘Okay, I will go and announce your presence to the Chief,’ said the first guard.

He went inside while the others lingered around, their swords sheathed at their waists. They were all smiling pleasantly.

The Chief appeared speedily. And he came towards me with outstretched arms. ‘Welcome, my Queen,’ he purred.

I could smell alcohol on his breath. I held up my hand to prevent him from enfolding me. ‘Wait!’ I said sharply. ‘First, we need to talk.’

‘Please come into the palace where we can talk in comfort.’ He waved his hand to usher me in.

‘We have to talk here.’

‘Okay, my Queen. What is it you want us to talk about?’

‘I have come to tell you that no one should dare to take my son from me.’

‘My Queen, no one will do that. Not now that you are my Queen. The boy will be treated as a prince here in the palace once you are married to me.’

‘Yes, that’s another thing I want to discuss with you. I have not fallen in love with you or any man, and so I cannot marry,’ I said, emboldened by the knowledge that this was the only way to keep my son safe.

The Chief coughed violently, and the guards, startled, promptly pulled out their swords, as if their master had come under a sudden attack.

‘But you said you had come to marry me,’ the Chief croaked.

‘I have not come to marry you! I have come to tell you to leave me and my son alone. When I meet a man I love, I will marry that man. But I’m not going to marry you or anyone else because tradition requires me to do so.’

An exclamation of shock escaped the guards. ‘Abomination!’ one of them cried.

The Chief coughed again, holding a hand to his chest and doubling over. The guards quickly surrounded him, as if to protect him from the assault of my words. He waved his hand weakly at me. ‘Send her away,’ he said in a whisper.

I did not wait to be sent away. I turned and stormed off.

Noah was still out playing when I got home. I went into my room, and I crumpled onto my bed and wept bitterly, tormented by the two devastating options before me.

*

I decided not to tell Noah what was going on. I prepared our evening meal, chatting lightly with him, and I managed to stay cheerful while we ate. But at the back of my mind was the encounter I had had with the royal guards and the Chief earlier that day. I wondered what would follow.

Noah came to me before bedtime, in a solemn mood. I thought someone had said something to him, and I felt a tightening in my chest.

‘Mother, remember the dream I had?’ he said.

‘Yes,’ I replied.

‘I’d love to build an orphanage one day, to provide a good home for the boys I met on the outskirts.’ He sat on my knee. ‘Please, will you help me to build it, Mother?’

‘But you are too young to build an orphanage.’

‘But I’m not thinking of building it now. When I grow up, I mean.’

‘By the time you grow up, the orphans you came across will be adults, and they won’t need an orphanage anymore.’

He remained thoughtful for a moment. ‘But there might be other young orphans then, you see. I would love to provide a home for them. Mother, will you help me, please?’ He took my hand imploringly.

‘If that’s what you want, yes, I’ll help you, my son,’ I said and smiled.

He jumped up with a scream of delight. ‘Thank you, Mother!’

‘It’s time to go to bed now,’ I said sternly. ‘We have work to do on the farm tomorrow.’

‘Yes, Mother.’

I led him to his room and watched him climb into bed.

‘Goodnight, my son.’

‘Goodnight, Mother.’

He closed his eyes and I left the room carrying the lantern.

*

I found it difficult to sleep that night.

A new day was beginning to break when I finally closed my eyes, and I was fast asleep when Noah came to knock on my door. ‘Time to get to work, Mother.’ His voice seemed to come to me from a distant place.

I rubbed sleep from my eyes and climbed out of bed. Noah greeted me with a hug. ‘We’re getting late for work,’ he said.

‘Give me a little while to get ready,’ I said.

About thirty minutes later, we went out to the backyard.

It was almost noon by the time we finished working and went inside for food and rest.

I was in the kitchen preparing lunch when a loud knock came on our door. Noah rushed to see who was there.

‘Come back! Don’t open the door,’ I shouted, and went after him.

But it was too late.

Standing outside were five smallish men, who wore colourful beads around their necks. Their heads were bald and shiny, and they looked solemn, like creatures about to be sacrificed to the gods. Each had a fan of feathers in his hand. I knew them, but they stared blankly at me, as if I was a stranger. ‘We are the priests of the land,’ one of them spoke, ‘and I’m the High Priest. We act in the capacity of judges, and it’s our duty to pass judgements.’

I was tempted to shut the door against them, but I knew that they must have come for an important reason. ‘And what judgements have you come to pass?’ I asked, holding his eyes fearlessly.

‘We have not come to pass any judgement now, but to give you notice of the judgement we will pass in five days’ time.’

‘And what is this judgement?’ I asked.

‘We will not come to pass judgement if you get married within the next five days. But if you fail to do so, the judgement shall be that your son can no longer remain in your custody.’

Noah began to cry.

‘As judges, you are supposed to be fair men,’ I said.

‘Yes, we are fair men.’

‘And you are supposed to protect the rights of the helpless.’

‘No, as judges, we protect the laws of the gods of our land.’

‘What justice is there in protecting evil laws?’

‘We have simply come to perform our duty. We shall come back if the need demands.’ The five men turned as one and walked away.

Noah was crying loudly now. I locked the door and pulled him to me. ‘We’ll leave tonight,’ I whispered to him. ‘We’ll go to a place where they can never find us. Where no one can ever take you away from me. Don’t cry, please.’

But he only cried louder, holding tightly on to me. I raised my face up to heaven. It seemed to me that all that was up there was an empty vastness. I broke down and wept with my son.