Читать книгу Ever Tempted - Odessa Gillespie Black - Страница 8

My mistake gave me more resolve to fight the animal than ever before.

After two weeks of excruciating self-searching, shifting at will, and almost always terminating the shift when it began, I could stay away no longer. Kaitlyn and Thomas had warned me, I had to be home. Ready or not. When I got there, I didn’t know what would happen.

And I never walked into a situation without knowing details and having a plan. This was out of character for me. But then when I’d met Allie, she’d started a change.

The old, crabby guy I’d become from years of separation from her had begun to melt away and that goofy, giddy feeling I’d had in the 1870s had slowly emerged. I hoped that silly but optimistic feeling could continue to grow into all it should have been, after I told Allie the truth. Which was another way I’d matured. Not that I had been a liar, but in my very distinct situation, there had been times when not revealing all the details of a situation had been necessary.

At least I wouldn’t have to be confronted with Allie’s longing gaze for very long when I reached the property. Aggressive attempts at seductions would probably wan to vexing efforts to avoid me at all costs after I told her of my surprise rendezvous with Sage, the naked waitress. As frustrating as it would be, it would give me some more time to tune the animal out and be as close to a normal human male as possible.

Beyond the trees, the sky around the estate was brighter than I’d seen it in over a hundred years. The back of the property glowed like a stadium on Super Bowl Sunday and could be seen from miles on approach. Old Buicks to the shiniest newest sports cars lined the drive.

Not to judge, but old cars probably meant Allie’s biological family.

New shiny cars held the possibility of single male prospects searching for a hot brunette to cling to their arm or fall into their bed.

I hadn’t worked on my insecurities. I had every reason to feel insecure around her. If Allie got mad enough after our talk about my moronic mistake in the hotel, I didn’t think I could handle some guy I didn’t know carting her off to God only knew where.

It was just a party. Deep breathing. In through the nose. Out through the…oh, hell, forget it.

Why would she throw a party with me gone? Maybe she hadn’t missed me as much as I’d hoped she would. There were so many thoughts in the crowd of people, it was hard to pick out her inner voice to get insight on what she might have been thinking.

I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and stalked through the wooded lot beside my cottage. The ground was soft with leftover moisture from rain that hadn’t seemed to stop for the last two days of my leave. Festive music and laughter invaded my private little piece of heaven as I opened my door.

If Allie felt the need to party, that was fine. I’d stay in my cottage and close my mind off to all the obnoxious cheeriness. After the people were gone, I’d try to approach her.

I flopped on my sofa and stared out the window. White lights strung around the Rose Maze and all over everything that could hold a light up. People clumped in groups. Staffed dressed in penguin suits carted trays of champagne. Chirpy, buoyant music changed tunes every few minutes. Bursts of laughter sliced at my nerves.

Feeling sorry for myself would get me nowhere. I’d spent my life allowing adverse circumstances to dictate every step I took.

Not tonight.

After I stripped, I dropped my clothes into a hamper and stomped to the bathroom Ava had installed in the area where our old back porch had been. We’d washed in a large tub and used an outhouse near the creek just off the edge of the woods for restroom facilities back in the old days. It was nice not to have to bother with all that work just to make a good impression on Allie’s guests.

A quick shower, a decent set of non-shit-shoveling clothes, and I was out the door.

* * * *

The Rose Maze was named after Amber Rose Rollins, Allie’s first mother. It was the only thing in the back yard that hadn’t changed in the last few weeks. Since Allie had arrived on the property, she’d given the house some shifting abilities of its own.

As I approached the crowd, soft music, tinkling glasses, and joyous laughter reminded me of how it had been in the 1870s, except then lanterns would have replaced the electricity. And Allie would have glided gracefully through the crowd in one of her elegant flowing gowns.

She probably donned some troubling little dress that unintentionally gave a nice view of all her endowments. I tugged at my collar.

“…have you seen her? She’s beautiful.” Near the parking garage, a happy little girl in a crowd of other children bubbled over talking with her hands and trembling with excitement.

A little boy stuck his chest out. “Well, Miss Knowles kissed me right on the cheek. She said she hoped if she ever had a little boy that he would look just like me.”

Hmm. She hadn’t struck the idea of having kids out completely. That was a good sign.

“She gave me a necklace.” Another little girl pointed to her flashy necklace and grinned.

The community couldn’t help but fall in love with her. I too had been a victim of her contagious personality.

Slow, deep breaths.

I allowed only thoughts that would keep me from shuddering to infiltrate my mind. Sunshine. Fields of long grass. Non-sensual thoughts.

The limestone exterior of the house was cool against my palm as I steadied myself and waited for an explosion of sensory shockwaves when her thoughts or her voice found me, whichever happened first.

Twenty feet behind the house, her soft voice instigated a natural pull in her direction.

Straightening my tie, I walked around the corner. Smiling people held glasses, discussed life issues, and nodded amicably in my direction.

Who’s that? one woman thought.

He’s a looker, another thought.

I wish I had this girl’s money. At least she’s doing something for the community. I really shouldn’t be envious. A blonde stared toward the right corner of the patio.

Holding a wineglass and smiling, Allie stood in a circle of about twenty people, men in black suits and women in flashy dresses. As much as she had worried about fitting in, she settled nicely with her surroundings. Allie’s benefactor, the late Ava Rollins, would have run the first car out of the drive. She hated visitors.

The whispering crowd hushed, parting like the Dead Sea as I approached Allie.

She hadn’t noticed the decrescendo of voices, as she gestured and nodded.

The women’s thoughts were almost synonymous.

She’s so sweet; you can’t hate her for having it all.

We’ll be great friends. I can tell.

I can’t believe I thought she’d be snooty.

She’s gorgeous. Doesn’t even need that makeup. Pay attention to what she’s saying. Quit lusting, Bill. The guy’s thoughts were considerably more troubling, but this was something I’d have to contend with in loving a woman as strikingly beautiful as Allie was, inside and out. So tonight I wouldn’t kick anyone in the throat.

Who could blame them? Hadn’t I responded the same way?

I stood five feet behind Allie as she continued in light, happy conversation. She rarely wore her hair up. It was the fashion when we’d first met in the late 1860s, and though it was appealing, tonight, loose curls fell down her back.

Why is everyone looking behind me? Her heart rate steepened and an instant swell of pheromones thickened the air. Is he here? Allie straightened and glanced around.

She turned and my breath caught between my throat and my amazement that she could become even more beautiful in a few weeks’ time.

Two-inch silver stilettos.

Long, toned, tanned legs.

A black dress that cupped every curve as if it had been painted onto her with intimate strokes.

A simple diamond necklace led my gaze straight into the swell of the two most perfectly formed—

In through the nose. Out through the mouth.

Curls framed a look of intrigue tempting me more than she ever had. My imagination had placed her in an infinitely more provocative eveningwear, but her black dress enticed me more than any deep-bodice dress. At twenty-one, she was even more voluptuous and curvy.

Her circle opened and accepted me in. The women, gladly, and the men, a little less eager.

“Is this your fiancé?” One of the ladies gave me a warm but speculative smile and poked out a hand.

Allie’s heart stuttered. The weight of her gaze pressed against me. She stared down at the clear contents of her wineglass.

Fiancé? This was news. I’d planned some elaborate proposal, but this would do just as well. My only concern was whether she’d still want to go through with it after she learned—

“I was beginning to worry he wouldn’t make it back in time for the ceremony. Tina Ari. Pleased to make your acquaintance,” another lady said. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity. Why do all the hot men have to be either gay or off the market? Or serial killers?

A hint of a grin adorned Allie’s face, but a flash of wrath sparked in her eyes. When we’re alone, I was sure to experience the flame of her anger.

I searched for her thoughts to prepare myself, but I was somehow blocked. She narrowed her gaze as she considered me.

A lady’s elegant hand poked out before me. “I’m Christie Kelly Tutherow. I own the neighboring plantation.”

“Cole Kinsley. Nice to meet you.” I shook her hand. I’d heard of her. The Kellys had married into the Tutherow family, and without an heir to their fortune the family name had changed.

With my gaze darting between the people, I tried my damnedest to dig even further into Allie’s mind. Nothing. Intensifying the pressure of my mind into hers, she was all that existed in my line of view or my depth of hearing.

Allie batted her eyelashes in my direction. Her tone was slightly resentful, yet pleasant. “Hello.”

I was verbally paralyzed. So I leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Her sun-kissed skin was hot under my lips.

Whew. The sky was blue. The grass was green.

I breathed the way I’d practiced at the hotel and focused on the light behind her. The ache in my joints subsided.

“I hate to be rude, but would you excuse us?” Allie took my arm.

The group raised their glasses and gave excusing nods. Whispers began again, and the volume of the crowd increased to the same previous dull roar as they sent us curious, amused glances.

I stood there dumbly. What had I been about to do? Had she said something?

Her skin glowed, and her eyes sparkled as she stepped up beside me.

“We need to go someplace private. It’s time I yell at you.” She squeezed my hand almost painfully tight and pulled me through the crowd.

Here it came.

“You didn’t answer my calls.” She kept her voice so no one else could hear.

I tugged at my collar. “I couldn’t.”

Every corner of the patio was filled with people.

“You could have called me, texted me, used old-fashioned post.” Her voice was a tender whisper of ache.

“I couldn’t do that, either.” I couldn’t look at her. Her full pouty lips would have undone all I’d worked on the past few weeks. And when I wrote, I tended to get very emotional and sometimes explicit in conveying my thoughts when it came to her. That wouldn’t have helped in trying to stave off the shift.

I gave a few little ladies by the window of the east wing a warm smile as we stepped inside. “If I spoke to you, I would have been back here in your arms, and that would not have been good for you, my dear.”

“You shouldn’t make my decisions for me. That’s one of the main things we fought over the last few weeks.” She let my hand go and walked in front of me, searching every room.

I snorted drily. That was one of the things we’d fought about a hundred years ago too. Me making decisions for us. Maybe one day she’d see that I’d carried over a hundred years of wisdom with me, which qualified me as a better decision maker.

The lighting sent sparkles through her dangly diamond earrings. They landed on her neck. Oh, to kiss that neck. Spikes of need impaled me. “Trust me, if I’d been home, you’d have been in danger. It was a terrible battle with only thoughts of you in my head to keep me company. If I’d been here, alone with you, you wouldn’t have been able to stop me from touching you. And then, I couldn’t be sure of what would happen.”

People were clumped by the empty recess under the stairwell.

“Damn. The ballroom. Surely, it’s not full.” Allie’s stubborn jaw was set.

Great. Now she wouldn’t look at me at all.

The ballroom was full.

She tugged me into the library and into her office, a closet-sized room with a computer and screens showing enhanced views of all the areas of the property that could be easily breached by intruders. A security system update. Good call. I liked it. But that was a subject for later.

The light perfume of Allie’s skin found me in the small enclosure. I trembled.

Maybe ten television screens full of people all over the house and beyond would give me the illusion of being chaperoned.

Allie turned on me, her eyes full of raw fury. “Where were you?”

I undid my coat buttons. It was hotter in the security room. “Two towns over, a safe distance away.”

Allie placed a finely manicured hand on her hip. “Where did you sleep?”

“A motel.” Okay the jacket had to come off.

“The whole time?” She leaned back against the desk.

“The whole time.”

“You had to have left sometime. No one in their right mind could sit in a hotel room for two straight weeks, hours on end.” Allie crossed her arms.

“Andy Griffith.” My throat went dry. God, she was gorgeous when she was enraged.

“Andy Griffith? What are you talking about?” Allie frowned.

“I watched every rerun at least three times. Now I hear that damned whistle in my head. Constantly. It’s annoying. Oh, and I can tell you every facet of the town Mayberry, how many jars of pickles are in Aunt Bea’s cupboards, and how old Opie was when he got his first black eye. Need I go further?”

“Why would you watch that show? Not that it isn’t a great classic, but…” Allie shifted her weight to her other foot and stared at the screens.

“It’s the only thing on the television that didn’t have some sort of present day temptation, either spoken or implied.” I leaned on the desk.

She crossed her arms and looked back to me. “How could you leave me like that?”

I took her hands, but she pulled them back.

She fidgeted, but finally slipped her hands behind her.

Needing the closeness, I caressed her cheek. “You have no idea how many times I asked myself that question over the last two weeks. But I had to. It was hard as hell, but very necessary, so that we could move on. Trust me, you don’t remember how it hurts to miss someone the way I do. I thought you’d be strong enough to wait just a little longer if I could find the strength to stay away.”

Her chest swelled with anger. “My body may have only known you for a few weeks, but my soul sure as hell knew you were gone. I’ve been a wreck. After all we’d been through over the last month and all the fear I had, I needed you. But you were off vacationing.”

“Trust me. It was far from a vacation.” The smell of the dilapidated motel room and the dirty memory of the naked woman’s skin touching mine somehow found its way into the security room to plague me.

“You must have been miserable.” Allie turned her head away.

“You have no idea.” Revealing the truth was inevitable, but I didn’t want her to kick me off the property. As upset as she was about my absence, I’d need to wait a day or so to let her cool down before I hit her with blow number two.

Allie stared at one of the computer screens where Shelby and Kaitlyn scurried through the crowd. Her jaw worked, wiggling her dangly earring. “Don’t ever do that again.”

I took her delicate hand and placed it on my cheek.

She still wouldn’t look at me, but she didn’t pull away. She gave away the tiniest flinch of a smile.

I leaned into her hand, the contact sending icy hot chills into my joints. Why couldn’t I be normal? Have the normal male reactions? Oh, they accompanied the animalistic responses, but they weren’t dominant. “Listen, I know you deserve an epic apology from me for leaving like that, but I believed I had no other choice. It was stay and be in animal form the whole time, or get miles between us.”

She finally graced me with her full attention. Her gaze traveled over my face and my clothes. “You’re different.”

“Yeah, I shaved. Showered too.” I nudged a little closer to her.

I can’t be mad when he smiles at me like that. But I still might kick his ass. Her thoughts came through to me. Finally.

“That’s probably a good thing. You don’t need to stink up your tuxedo with two weeks of sweat. You’re going to need it tomorrow when we get married.”

I coughed and choked at the same time. Tomorrow. Married tomorrow. Getting married was fine, what I’d always planned, but so soon? I had to tell her what happened at the hotel and then I’d need at least two weeks to a month for her to get over being mad at me. After she threw something at me. Probably something heavy. And probably something glass. She had a history of doing that when she was pissed.

She withdrew her arms and hugged herself. “I thought you’d be happy. This is a disaster.”

I stepped closer, careful with my words. “No. My hesitation at speaking doesn’t mean I’m not happy, but—”

“There’s always a but.”

“And lately it’s been me. I’ve been an ass. I never get things right. I mean well. I swear, I do.”

Renewed hope shined in her eyes and her voice shook. “So, you’re not mad?”

“No. God, no.” Folding her into my embrace, I rested my cheek on her head. “I just wanted a little more time to talk with you about some things, about life.” The life she’d have with me, the guy who always f—

“We’ll have plenty of time. I just wanted you to get back the day you lost.”

I cupped her face. “The day we lost.”

“I’m not trying to force you into, well, you know, the after stuff, the honeymoon—”

I interrupted her worries with the kiss I had dreamed about since my first seconds in that godforsaken hotel room. Our lips tangled in mixed gasps. When the trembling started, I pulled back but handled myself very well. For the first time, I didn’t have to run.

Looking into her eyes as she caught her breath, I rested my forehead against hers. “I can barely wait, Allie. If you only knew how excruciating it’s been to wait all these years, and then here you are right in front of me, and I can’t touch you.”

“You could.” Her voice was soft, quiet, sensual.

“I’m going to strike that from the conversation and change the subject.”

“I don’t have a mind reading gift to know you’re still thinking about it.”

“Stop teasing me. I might be dangerous.” Stepping back, I pulled at my tie, loosening my collar.

“I’m used to danger by now,” Allie said.

“I don’t think my nerves will be able to handle it through another wedding.” I grabbed her hands and held them together. “I’ve been worried sick about something happening to you.”

She leaned closer and dropped a light kiss on my neck, then my earlobe. We collided with the shelf behind me. Something toppled over and crashed onto the floor.

“You have to stop that.” My brain said pull away. I leaned into her kisses. “We need to talk.”

“No talking.” Her lips continued an excruciating descent to my collarbone. Beside us was more shelving. Had this room gotten smaller? Damn. Fear of the unknown becoming more real by the second, I slithered sideways, but she wouldn’t let me go without a struggle.

“No. Stop.” I grabbed her shoulders and held her at bay. My breathing became more labored. Trembling, I fought away the itching under my cheekbones where large cat whiskers normally stabbed through. Leaning on the desk behind me, I deposited her out of arms’ reach. “This is torture at its worst.”

She drooped, pouty lips puckered into little hearts. “I would never knowingly torture you.”

“You torture me by existing.” I allowed myself one brief kiss, but stayed a safe distance from her embrace.

“We’ll just not touch till tomorrow. Maybe that will help?” she suggested.

Just as I was about to protest by slamming our entangled bodies against the door, it opened.

“Where is Cole Kinsley? I hear him, but I can’t find him.” Shelby Renee Moss, a sweet but irritating half of a set of life-saving twins who worked at the manor, jerked the door the rest of the way opened and propped a finely manicured hand on her hip. With the other, she pointed at me and drew me out with her finger. “Me and you. Outside.”

“Somehow I think you’ve forgotten I have seniority over you. You’ve bossed me around enough lately.” I tried to keep the mood fun-loving. God knew I didn’t want Allie to find out about the hotel room incident this way.

Shelby pointed at the front entrance. “Come on. You can visit with Miss Prancy Pants later. We have business.”

I kissed Allie and moped out the door with Shelby, my head down and my shoulders sagging.

“You’ve done it this time,” Shelby said over her shoulder. Her blond hair was a little longer than her sister’s, and she was the fashion guru of the two. Today she wore an off-the-shoulder, long, form-fitting red dress with a slit up one leg. It was a nice look that revealed a tan she actually had to work for, unlike Allie.

“Not everybody can be as dashing as your soul mate,” she thought to me in an extra sour tone. “Keep it up, and my lips might get a little loose where your motel room adventures are concerned.”

I’d wondered how long it would be before one of the twins heard my concerns about the hotel room incident. They missed nothing.

Another reason why I felt semi-safe leaving her with them while I did my canine soul searching.

I followed, thankful for Shelby’s discretion.