Читать книгу Hidden Hearts - Olivia Dade - Страница 8
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FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Monday, January 16, 2017 9:52 a.m.
Dear Ms. Higgs:
Sorry to bug you. Can’t seem to figure out what to do. Help?
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Monday, January 16, 2017 11:05 a.m.
Dear Mr. O’Connor:
Please don’t apologize! I enjoy assisting people.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re having problems. What stage in the process is giving you trouble? Browsing? Checking out? Downloading to your e-reader?
If it’s any consolation, you’re not alone. We always get a flood of people after the holidays who need help with their new devices.
Sincerely,
Mary Higgs
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Tuesday, January 17, 2017 10:07 a.m.
Dear Ms. Higgs:
Sadly, mine’s not new. I’ve just never put books on it by myself before.
My stumbling block seems to be downloading. Later today, I’ll e-mail you with more information. Right now, too frustrated to type more.
Thank you for your kindness. Please call me Miles.
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Wednesday, January 18, 2017 8:55 a.m.
Dear Miles:
From the description you sent last night, I think I’ve figured out the problem. I’ve attached more detailed instructions below.
If they don’t help, is there anyone nearby who can help you? Or did you just move to the area?
Please feel free to call me Mary.
Sincerely,
The Librarian Formerly Known as Ms. Higgs
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Thursday, January 19, 2017 11:46 a.m.
Dear Mary:
Successful download achieved! Thank you.
New Nice County resident. And you’re all the help I need.
Quick question: Do you have any voice dictation software recs? Have you read any reviews? I hate hunting and pecking.
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 19, 2017 4:03 p.m.
Dear Miles:
I looked up voice dictation software in our consumer magazines, and I’ve compiled a list of recommendations, along with their individual strengths and drawbacks, below.
They all have their flaws (apparently, if you write about putting your hand on someone’s waist, you may end up touching their “waste” instead, which is something else entirely), but they’re well-regarded in general. I hope they help you.
Have you enjoyed your e-books? Do you have a favorite so far?
Sincerely,
Mary
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Tuesday, January 24, 2017 11:46 a.m.
No favorite. Can you see which e-books I check out? If so, is there any way to make that private?
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Tuesday, January 24, 2017 12:01 p.m.
Dear Mr. O’Connor:
I can see your e-book checkouts, but only if I bring up your information in my computer. Which is something I would never do out of curiosity or for any other reason than professional necessity. I haven’t seen your account since I created your card. I promise.
I’m afraid I can’t make that information any more private than it is.
I apologize for asking something so personal. The e-books you choose to check out are your concern, and yours only.
Sincerely,
Mary Higgs
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Thursday, January 26, 2017 3:43 p.m.
Dear Mary:
I didn’t mean to imply you were invading my privacy. You were asking a normal and thoughtful question, and I didn’t know how to respond. The last couple of months have been difficult, and I’m out of practice when it comes to communicating with people.
My favorite book so far is Between a Rock and a Hard Place by Aron Ralston. I guess that seems like an odd choice, but I saw the movie about him and wanted to hear the whole story. Not just about how he injured himself, but his recovery too.
I’ve also been eyeing books about mountain climbers. Maybe Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer. What are your thoughts?
Warmly and with apologies,
Miles
P.S. The voice dictation software is extremely helpful. As you can probably tell from the length of this message. Thank you for your recommendations.
P.P.S. So far, I haven’t inadvertently handled anyone’s waste. But I have sent an e-mail with the word “whore” in it instead of “horror.” (I had to change it just now too. Apparently the software believes I’m very interested in whores. I hadn’t thought it knew me well enough to make that judgment, but…)
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:18 p.m.
Dear Miles:
Oh, I’m so glad I didn’t offend you! (Either with my reference to “waste” or by asking a personal question.)
I haven’t read Ralston’s book or seen the movie about him. I think I would find the latter upsetting. I’m not much for bloodshed, either in movies or in print. I’m more a fan of period dramas or anything about art, film, music, etc. Right now, I’m halfway through a biography of Matisse, and the illustrations are gorgeous.
I did read Into Thin Air for our adult book club, though, and I highly recommend it. It’s a gripping account, and if you find yourself interested in that particular incident on Everest, I can point you to other books on the topic. And it’s not gory at all. (I have to admit that I still had trouble reading it. But that’s not Krakauer’s fault.)
Sincerely,
Mary
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:27 p.m.
What kind of trouble?
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:33 p.m.
I found it hard to read about people putting themselves in such a dangerous situation, especially since I knew it would all go terribly wrong. (Or should I say “whore”ably wrong?)
Sincerely,
Mary
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:40 p.m.
Ah. I see what you mean.
How do you feel about people who put themselves in a position to be hurt by doing something stupid or dangerous? Do you still have sympathy for them? Or do they get what they deserve?
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 6:55 p.m.
Do I have sympathy for risk-takers who get injured? Well, of course. Taking risks doesn’t make someone a bad person, and it doesn’t ameliorate their suffering if they get hurt. If they kept repeating the same mistakes that led to their injury, and those mistakes were avoidable, well…maybe I’d get frustrated after a while. But I’m not a big believer in trying to change people. As far as I’m concerned, the only thing I can change is how I relate to them.
Why do you ask?
Oh, goodness. I’m at a friend’s wedding, and I should probably turn off my phone now.
Sincerely,
Mary
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Thursday, January 26, 2017 7:00 p.m.
Did you have to buy a bridesmaid’s dress? Over the years, I’ve heard more than a few complaints about those. Although I can’t imagine you looking anything less than lovely, no matter what you wore.
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 7:08 p.m.
The bride is my coworker and a close friend—but she didn’t have bridesmaids. So no bridesmaid’s dress! Hallelujah!
P.S. That was a very nice compliment, but you have no idea how I look. I might shatter mirrors with a single glance.
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
Thursday, January 26, 2017 7:31 p.m.
The local newspaper took a picture of you last year. You were doing scientific experiments with kids during the library’s summer reading club kick-off event. It’s still on their website. Lovely, as I said.
Okay, that seems a little creepy, and I apologize. But to be fair, you know my address, phone number, birthday, etc., and I know next to nothing about you. It seemed equitable to let Google even things up a little bit.
FROM: m.higgs@nicecountypubliclibrarymd.org
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 7:49 p.m.
Miles, I’m going to switch from my work account to my personal e-mail address. I hope that’s okay.
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 7:54 p.m.
Oh, goodness, I’d forgotten about that picture. Please keep in mind that I’m not photogenic. Like, at all.
More importantly: You Googled me? No fair! There are a million Miles O’Connors!
Are you a soccer player? Or an ice hockey defenseman? (No, wait, that’s Myles-with-a-y.) Or a TV star?
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 7:58 p.m.
Not at the moment. Sorry. I’m just plain old Miles O’Connor.
Shouldn’t you be catching bouquets and charming smitten groomsmen? Or taking lots of selfies, since you’re totally photogenic, despite your protests?
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:08 p.m.
Sadly, my life is not a romantic comedy. My current record: Zero bouquets caught. Zero smitten groomsmen. Zero selfies.
It was a lovely wedding, though.
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:13 p.m.
The groomsmen are fools.
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:20 p.m.
Thank you. That’s sweet.
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:22 p.m.
That’s the truth.
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017 8:25 p.m.
Are you sure we couldn’t schedule a Bookmobile stop for you? I could try to tag along. I’d really love to meet you.
Or maybe you could make it to the library? Just for a brief visit?
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Friday, January 27, 2017 4:13 a.m.
I can’t. I’m sorry.
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Friday, January 27, 2017 6:11 a.m.
No need to be sorry. You told me from the beginning that you couldn’t. If you could, I imagine we wouldn’t be writing right now.
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Friday, January 27, 2017 6:17 a.m.
And that would be tragic. From the very start, a message from you brightened my entire day.
Not because it came from you in particular, of course. I just love talking about e-book downloads and lending periods. Nothing like a good chat concerning MOBI files to cheer a man up, I always say.
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Friday, January 27, 2017 6:20 a.m.
Haha. Same here. Nothing makes the work day move more quickly than troubleshooting devices I can’t actually see using apps that differ depending on the specific device used.
Wait, did I say quickly? I meant painfully.
(Kidding. I don’t mind. I really do like helping people.)
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Friday, January 27, 2017 6:25 a.m.
I know, Mary. Believe me, I know.
1 MESSAGE SAVED IN DRAFTS FOLDER
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Tuesday, February 14, 2017 8:58 a.m.
We’ve been writing for weeks now. I wish I could
You should know how much I
Fuck, I’m a coward.
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Tuesday, February 14, 2017 9:46 a.m.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Mary.
1 MESSAGE SAVED IN DRAFTS FOLDER
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Tuesday, February 14, 2017 9:55 a.m.
Are you alone today? I’ve never asked if you have a girlfriend. Or even a wife, I suppose. You seem so…isolated, I guess.
Maybe I could come visit you at some point? Would that be okay? We could
Would you like to
Don’t be stupid, Mary Louise. The man probably has three wives and twenty-seven children scattered across North America.
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Tuesday, February 14, 2017 10:00 a.m.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Miles.
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Friday, March 24, 2017 11:22 a.m.
It occurs to me that we’ve been writing each other every day for a couple of months, and I still don’t know whether you grew up in Nice County. Have you ever lived anywhere else? And do you like it here?
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Friday, March 24, 2017 12:13 p.m.
I grew up here in Nice County. My dad is the chief of police, and my mom is vice president of a regional bank, so we were always very committed to the community. No moving around. On the first day I worked here at the library, I already knew the names of most of the people who walked through the doors. That didn’t make me any less nervous, of course.
I hope you won’t take this the wrong way. I love my hometown. I love the orchards and the farmers markets and the mountains. I love my coworkers, who’ve become my closest friends. I love (most of) our patrons. But I wish we had more museums and cultural opportunities. I also wish more families like mine lived here. Nice County itself is somewhat diverse, but the Battlefield area…not so much.
Anyway, that’s why I ended up going to UCLA for college. I stayed there for a few years after I graduated, but it didn’t work out. I moved back home about two years ago.
What about you? Where did you live before here?
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Friday, March 24, 2017 1:49 p.m.
I moved from LA to Nice County in December. What a coincidence, huh?
Anyway, back to you. I can’t imagine how it felt to grow up in such a small, homogeneous community. If you don’t mind telling me, what was that like for you?
And are you dating anyone? Engaged? Married?
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Friday, March 24, 2017 2:04 p.m.
Single. For the moment.
Can you tell me more about what you did back in California? Do you have family out there? Why did you move?
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Friday, March 24, 2017 5:08 p.m.
I did carpentry. But my old job didn’t work for me anymore, so I left. I’m trying to figure out my next step here in Nice County.
I have one brother who still lives in LA.
Mary? Did I offend you with my question about your childhood?
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Saturday, March 25, 2017 9:17 a.m.
You didn’t offend me. Don’t worry. But I’m not sure if I’m comfortable sharing such personal information about my life with a man who doesn’t really tell me much about himself in return.
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Saturday, March 25, 2017 10:01 a.m.
What do you want me to tell you?
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Saturday, March 25, 2017 10:15 a.m.
Please forgive my nosiness. But…we’ve been writing every day for months. Sometimes dozens of times a day. And I don’t even know if you’re married or have a girlfriend. I don’t know if you have children somewhere. I don’t know what you do on a daily basis. I don’t know why you left California or why you chose to come here or how long you’re going to stay. And I don’t know why we can’t meet in person.
Again, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry.
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Sunday, March 26, 2017 3:03 a.m.
I’m not married, and I don’t have a girlfriend. No kids.
I had some health issues late last year, and I’m still reckoning with how to move forward. I’m basically throwing myself a pity party, and I don’t feel good about inviting anyone else to the celebration. Not even you, the most patient woman I’ve ever (virtually) met.
I don’t plan on going anywhere. As far as I’m concerned, Nice County is my final destination. I can’t go back to my old job, and my brother and I aren’t close anymore.
If you feel like you should stop writing me, I’ll understand. If you’re willing to keep corresponding, though, I promise not to push for personal information I’m not willing to give in return.
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Sunday, March 26, 2017 4:45 a.m.
I’m so sorry you’ve had health issues. If there’s ever anything I can do to help, please let me know. I mean it.
I want to keep corresponding. I might not be able to write quite as much as I have in the past, though. Angie convinced me to sign up for an online dating service a while ago, and I’ve been swamped by matches and messages. Sorting through all the information can be overwhelming. It takes a ton of time, much more than I ever anticipated.
So far, from what I can tell, online dating is like that old saying: The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Here’s hoping I find someone normal soon!
FROM: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
TO: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
Sunday, March 26, 2017 8:51 a.m.
If my pity party ever ended, would you still be interested in meeting me?
FROM: marylouisehiggs@xyzmail.com
TO: milesandmilesoconnor@xyzmail.com
Sunday, March 26, 2017 8:55 a.m.
Of course I’d love to meet you.
But in the meantime, what movies have you been streaming? Any award winners?
* * *
Miles stared at the e-mail on his monitor, his heart beating so loudly it echoed in his ears. There it was, his answer. The signal telling him he needed to take his life back in hand. An ironic phrase, considering.
He’d run out of time. If he wanted to find out whether he and Mary could become more than virtual friends, it would have to be soon. Just because the guys at the wedding had been too stupid to realize what they’d overlooked, and just because her online matches to this point had apparently been weirdos, his luck couldn’t hold out forever.
That he knew. With the sort of intimate bitterness borne of endless weeks spent in pain. That pain was diminishing day by day, but the damage was done. Permanent.
For three months, he’d been recuperating from an injury that should never have occurred. Would never have occurred, had either his luck held out or his common sense intervened. In a matter of seconds, his charmed life had vanished forever, fully due to his own stupidity and bad judgment. He’d accepted that fact. Almost embraced it, actually, the same way he’d embraced his isolation from everyone he cared about.
Even from his brother. Especially from his brother.
Then Mary had appeared in his life like an unexpected gift two months ago, and he hadn’t known whether to weep in gratitude or expect another blow.
So he’d remained hidden away like a coward. But that wasn’t an option anymore, was it? Not if he wanted Mary—or at least the possibility of her—more than he wanted his isolation.
He looked down at himself. In recent weeks, his old tees had become too tight. Same with his custom-fitted, well-worn jeans. So he’d taken to cranking up the heat and walking around shirtless, covered only by a pair of forgiving boxers. If anyone came to the door—and by anyone, he meant Eugene, the pizza delivery guy—Miles put on a robe.
Three months’ worth of unkempt beard made him nearly unrecognizable, which wasn’t an accident. His shaggy hair flopped over his eyes. And he had the lowering suspicion that he didn’t smell too good at the moment.
A quick sniff near his right armpit proved that theory correct.
In his present state, he certainly didn’t deserve the attention of a woman like Mary. She was not only kind and smart and funny, but quietly beautiful too. No doubt she also bathed a lot more regularly than he currently did.
He’d bookmarked that photo of her helping kids at the library, but he didn’t need to click on the link. He’d memorized every feature already. Her warm brown skin and wide, high forehead. Her big, dark eyes. The way the bridge of her nose crinkled when she grinned. The black hair swept neatly back into either a ponytail or a twist of some sort. From that single picture, he couldn’t tell which.
He’d spent weeks and weeks wondering. He wanted to know.
She wore a small locket, which fell an inch or so above the modest neckline of her blouse. Discreet earrings. Clothes that fit well and flattered her curvy, fit frame.
She was lovely. So lovely, and he wanted to see her in the flesh more than he wanted just about anything in his life right now.
And he would see her. Eventually. It would simply take a little preparation. More exercise, less takeout, and significantly better grooming. By the time he met Mary, he was determined to bear some semblance to the man he’d been before the accident. Whether that would prove enough to ignite real-life chemistry and win her over, he didn’t know.
But he had to try.
