Читать книгу Broken Resolutions - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 13
ОглавлениеTHE BLAST OF A car horn sounding right outside her front door made Caitlin jump. In the throes of getting ready for her evening out, she glanced at the clock on the mantel and saw that it was later than she’d thought.
Softly cursing, she yanked her hairbrush roughly through her sable hair, then quickly painted her lips with the new plum shade of lipstick she’d bought. Her hand was a little unsteady as she applied it and, to make matters even worse, she decided that the colour was a little too dramatic for her liking. But she was just going to have to grin and bear it. She was already feeling tense at the distinct possibility of being chastised yet again for lateness. That would make it the third time this week and it might just be the straw that broke the camel’s back as far as Jake was concerned.
Hurriedly snatching her leather jacket off the couch and pulling it on, she grabbed her purse, shoved it into a pocket and flew down the steep, narrow staircase as if the hounds of hell themselves were after her. Her breath hitched as she hurried towards the ominous-looking black Jeep, its engine running.
Jake leaned across and pushed open the passenger door. ‘Hi,’ he greeted her.
His expression didn’t give much away, and it couldn’t help but increase the overall sense of trepidation that Caitlin was feeling. They were going to see a band tonight and would be spending a large amount of time together…alone. She didn’t doubt the experience was going to be a real test for them both.
‘Hi.’ There were three seats in the front of the vehicle and she automatically sat next to the window and slammed the door shut.
‘I want you next to me.’
‘What?’
The slow burning heat from Jake’s gaze almost scorched Caitlin where she sat. He didn’t embellish the comment. He didn’t have to. They both knew only too well why he wanted her to sit closer to him. Could day resist following night? She’d have loved to have had a handy reason with which to refuse him, but her mind was worryingly bereft of anything helpful as his arresting blue eyes entrapped hers.
With thumping heart she murmured, ‘Feeling lonely, are we?’ Then, before he could reply, she somehow found herself sitting in the luxuriously upholstered leather seat next to his.
His lips lifted in a grin.
‘Not any more.’
‘Well, I’m glad that I’ve made you happy.’ Her dark hair brushed against her reddened cheekbone as she bent to buckle her seatbelt. ‘For once.’
Chuckling, Jake put the car into gear and steered it smoothly away from the kerb. It should have reassured her that he seemed to be in a particularly good mood tonight, but it didn’t make things any easier. Not when she was already gripped by the familiar disturbing waves of disorientation and desire that seemed to be inevitable whenever they were together. And all day that combustible kiss they’d shared when he’d walked her home from the pub had played over and over in her mind.
Their attraction for each other had been growing stronger and stronger. It only needed the tiniest spark to turn it into a conflagration. It was made even more acute now, by the intimate space they shared in the car.
Caitlin couldn’t help stealing a covetous glance at Jake as he drove. True to form, he was clothed in his habitual black, with no apparent concessions to dressing up for their night out—although he didn’t need to wear fancy clothes to draw a woman’s eye. Not when he exuded charisma simply by breathing. Add to that, he had the intriguing persona of a man who’d been around musicians for most of his life and had seen it all…group bust-ups, wrecked hotel rooms, drink, drugs, groupies and corrupt management…and had lived to tell the tale. Jake had been there, done that, and worn the T-shirt.
Sighing, Caitlin smoothed her hand down over her jeans and couldn’t help wondering what people would see in her when she finally took to the stage to sing. Would they quickly categorise her as just another starstruck wannabe? A wide-eyed innocent without much experience of anything at all? If they did, then they couldn’t be more wrong. How could they know the narrow escape she’d had from the kind of destructive relationship that most mothers of daughters had nightmares about? Consequently, she was far from ignorant about the pitfalls that awaited girls who were too trusting, who kidded themselves that they could ‘fix’ a partner’s problems simply by loving them enough. Caitlin had found to her cost that that was one of the biggest lies believed by women.
Jake must have sensed her shudder and he turned his head in surprise. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes, I’m fine.’
Obviously deciding not to pander to any sense of insecurity she might be feeling, he drawled, ‘I trust your clothes aren’t going to turn into rags if I don’t get you home by midnight?’
He was, of course, referring to her habit of turning in early if she could. Caitlin’s cheeks seared pink with embarrassment. Early nights free from anxiety had been denied her in the days when she’d waited up for Sean, praying he hadn’t got himself into more trouble. If she’d had a pound for every prayer she’d uttered in those two harsh, unhappy years she’d be a rich woman.
When he hadn’t come home when expected Caitlin had hoped the police hadn’t got him in a cell somewhere, or that some drug dealer he owed money to hadn’t beaten him up, or worse. When he’d lied to her yet again, let her down or stolen money from her, she’d prayed hard for the strength to cope—still foolishly believing that she could somehow rescue him from the dark road he’d been intent on travelling down. But when he’d started to bully her, threaten her and finally hit her, she’d dug deep for the strength to end the relationship before it ended her.
The bottom line was she wasn’t about to apologise to Jake for something that had been an important part of her emotional recovery, no matter how much he scorned her early nights.
‘There’s about as much likelihood of that as you turning into Prince Charming any time soon,’ she muttered.
To her astonishment, she actually detected a smile on Jake’s lips. It was only slight, and a less sensitive person might have missed it, but she was so intimately attuned to the man’s every unconscious gesture and nuance she couldn’t help but be aware of it. It did funny things to her insides that ‘almost’ smile of his, not to mention other sensitive areas of her body…
Pursing her lips, she stared determinedly ahead of her as a sudden fierce shower of rain sheeted the windscreen’s glass, temporarily obliterating the view until Jake switched on the wipers.
‘And there was I, hoping we’d get a clear night with a romantic moon and starlight,’ he quipped.
‘Is that really what you were hoping for?’
Lifting a shoulder, he smiled again, this time more freely. ‘Why? You don’t think I have it in me to be romantic?’
The remark immediately threw her.
‘How would I know? I don’t know you well enough.’
‘Then it’s clearly time for me to do something about that, don’t you think?’
He didn’t turn his head to look at her. The provocative words were simply left hanging in the air between them, like a small but lethal incendiary device.
Urgently feeling the need to change the conversation to something far less dangerous, Caitlin asked, ‘So, who’s the band we’re going to see tonight? You didn’t tell me.’
‘They’re called Ace of Hearts. The lead singer is Nikki Drake and I’d really like you to see her. She isn’t what you might call the best singer in the world, but what she lacks in vocal range she more than makes up for in her performance. It’s electrifying. She lives and breathes the band and it shows.’
‘And you’re hoping that I might pick up a few tips?’
The rain ceased as suddenly as it had started, and as the wipers squeaked redundantly across the screen Jake’s brief azure glance at Caitlin was like a heat-seeking missile that went straight to her womb.
‘Sure,’ he answered.
Jake was amazed that he’d even got the word out. Whenever he caught sight of Caitlin’s bewitching face—whether by design or by accident—he was all but struck dumb. Ever since he’d kissed her he’d been filled with an insatiable desire to know her intimately. As far as he was concerned, not having to share her company with anyone else tonight was like being given the keys to heaven.
For a man that prided himself on always being in control of situations, his feelings for this woman were unravelling him. If he didn’t act soon to counteract the danger then the walls he’d built around his heart, brick by brick, would come crashing down and render him helpless. Whilst he would do everything in his power not to let that happen, there was no reason why he shouldn’t take Caitlin to bed to help get her out of his system…was there?
‘Do you know her well? Nikki Drake, I mean?’ she probed.
Hearing the curiosity in her voice, Jake smiled. He smiled because he detected the unspoken question that she really wanted to ask, which was How well do you know her? Although he’d never been remotely attracted to Nikki, he couldn’t help but experience a certain male satisfaction at the idea that Caitlin might be a little jealous.
‘I know her well enough. But then, I know a lot of people in my business,’ he drawled.
Not for the first time Caitlin realised that Jake was a man of few words. But, whatever he said, there was always a wealth of meaning behind it that often required some serious detective work. Then again, perhaps she should just go with the flow and not worry too much about what he meant. Jake was Jake: enigmatic, taciturn, not giving an inch. She’d better get used to it if she was going to make a half decent job of working with him.
But what she wouldn’t give for him to one day speak about her in the same admiring way that he spoke about Nikki Drake… She was feeling ridiculously jealous of the woman when she hadn’t even seen her or heard her sing yet.
‘Then I can’t wait to see her,’ she remarked, hoping that the amiable smile she gave would convince him that she meant it.
* * *
There wasn’t a single gaze in the room that wasn’t trained on the sexy strutting singer onstage. A small shapely blonde, her blue eyes heavily outlined with thick black liner, her generous mouth painted with bold red lipstick, Nikki Drake held the mike as if she owned it and commanded the small raised stage with every sexy thrust of her hips, every husky note that she sang.
Her slender body was encased in tight black satin and a wide scarlet belt was cinched tightly round her impossibly tiny waist. Her creamy breasts were clearly enhanced by the loving support of a daring uplift bra Sex on legs, as her friend Lia might say.
The performance was riveting. While the music throbbed around them Caitlin experienced an adrenaline rush like nothing she’d ever experienced before at a live concert. Was this how Jake wanted her to look? Commanding, sexy, wearing tight, hard-to-breathe-in clothing specifically designed to highlight every curve, every undulation? Unashamedly putting everything she had on show?
Her throat was dry from the combined heat of wall-to-wall people crammed into a space not much bigger than a living room. Taking a hasty sip of her rum and Coke, with the ice in the glass already melted to slivers, Caitlin almost jumped out of her skin when Jake moved up behind her. Her senses reeled with shock when his lean, hard body was all of a sudden on intimate terms with her back, his denim-clad thighs carelessly brushing the backs of hers as his warm, bourbon-laced breath drifted tantalisingly over her hair. Caitlin went rigid.
‘What do you think?’ he asked, and the husky timbre of his voice did seriously X-rated things to her body, draining her limbs of all their strength in the process.
‘About—about what?’ She could barely squeeze the words past her throat.
‘About Nikki and the band of course. What did you think I meant?’
Jake’s amused smile was almost tangible. She didn’t need to see it to know that he was taking great pleasure in teasing her. She was suddenly grateful for the dim lighting and the intimate proximity of the other bodies around her, because she didn’t want him to see that her face was burning.
‘She’s very good. They’re all very talented. I’m really enjoying the music,’ she told him.
‘Without a doubt you’re a better singer,’ Jake responded. ‘All we have to do now is find the right image for you.’
‘As long as you don’t expect me to pour myself into tight black satin. I’ll definitely draw the line at that.’
To bolster her flagging courage, Caitlin tipped up her glass and drained the entire contents of the drink that remained. Her head swam a little as the alcohol hit home, but it was as nothing compared to the dizziness she was already experiencing with Jake getting closer by the second.
‘I think we should go for something more classy. Sexy…but classy.’
His hand drifted over her hip to settle on her waist, his fingers deliberately sliding across the thin silk of the white camisole she wore beneath her jacket. Caitlin almost stopped breathing.
When she lifted her hand, ostensibly to move his away, his fingers caught hers and trapped them possessively. The words she’d started to form were suddenly obliterated as she closed her mouth, shut her eyes and sensed Jake press even closer. A tremulous shudder went through her as he brushed her hair aside and planted a devastatingly erotic kiss on the sensitive juncture between her shoulder and neck.
The unexpected caress went straight to her core and almost made her whimper with pleasure. It was as though he had branded her. Beneath the flimsy fabric of her strapless bra her nipples turned rigid and achy and her legs turned seriously weak. Thank God for the music and the crowd, because if they’d been alone right then Caitlin was certain her defences against such a passionate assault on her senses would have been zero.
Desperately needing to regain her composure, she straightened and turned round to face Jake. But the message his compelling blue eyes were conveying drove every coherent thought in her head straight out again.
‘Don’t. Please don’t.’
Even as she softly uttered the words she thought they didn’t make sense. She made no sense. Half plea, half whisper, they were carried away by the hypnotic beat of the music, by the laughter of the couple standing next to them, a young man with his arms firmly round his pretty Titian-haired girlfriend as they swayed together to the music.
‘Please don’t what?’ Jake caught her hand and unhesitatingly drew her in tight to his chest.
Such eyes he had, Caitlin thought feverishly…piercing blue-grey, like mist swirling over a storm-ravaged sea…
Holding Caitlin against him was the most exquisite pleasure bordering on pain that Jake had ever experienced. Her soft yet slender curves fitted his embrace as though she’d been made for just that purpose.
The sound of the throbbing music, the approving cheers of the audience, the chink of glasses from the bar and the soporific scent of incense that hung over them like a heady cloud—they all faded away, leaving Jake with nothing but his overwhelming need for the woman in front of him.
His desire to make Caitlin his own in the most primal way a man and a woman could consummate their lust was testing him to the very limit. Already he was hurtling close to the edge of that self-imposed control. He knew he shouldn’t want her so much. Professionally, it had disaster written all over it, and personally he wasn’t ready to trust a woman. After what Jodie had done trust didn’t come easily. Both those reasons should make him stay well clear.
With a supreme test of will, Jake slid his hands up to Caitlin’s shoulders, where he briefly let them linger. Then he gently but firmly moved her away. Her eyes instantly registered surprise and confusion and Jake cursed himself for torturing them both.
‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he murmured.
Caitlin bit her lip and inclined her head in a brief nod. Then she turned back to watch the band, crossing her arms over her chest as if to protect herself. Her beautiful hair cascaded down her back like the most luxurious black silk and Jake ached with every fibre of his being to reach out and touch it. He had been captivated by women before, but not like this—never like this.
What he needed right now was another drink. He’d have to be careful not to exceed the limit, because he was driving, and even another drink would be no consolation for his present sexual frustration. Sensibly, he decided against it. Instead, he stayed put to watch the band and decide which elements of the performance he could point out to Caitlin that might help her when the time came for her to make her debut with Blue Sky.
* * *
‘Hey, that was good. Where did you learn to play guitar like that?’
Mike Casey sat cross-legged on the living room floor, barefooted and tousled-haired, his guitar resting easily against his thighs. His brown eyes regarded Caitlin in admiration. She’d just given him a personal rendition of a well-known singer’s most iconic track, with all its attendant complicated chord changes and a few innovative ones of her own. He wondered if Jake or Rick had heard her play yet, because Caitlin didn’t just play a ‘little’, as she’d modestly confessed at her audition. The woman knew her way round a guitar as if the instrument were a natural extension of her own graceful hands.
Setting down her guitar to take a sip from the soft drink Mike had given her, she answered, ‘I had lessons when I was younger. I pestered my mum for them until she got sick of me asking and conceded. She really wanted me to learn the piano, so I made a compromise and agreed to learn that too.’ She grinned. ‘After a while I stopped having the lessons and basically taught myself.’
She shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal about her ability. Her reasons for learning to play both instruments had always been purely self-motivated. The plain truth of the matter was that her music and her books had kept her sane whenever life had threatened to get a little less dependable and reliable—like when her parents had announced they were leaving the country to join her brother Phil in America.
Phil was the ‘blue-eyed boy’ who, in their eyes, could do no wrong. An old familiar twinge of resentment surfaced but Caitlin quickly squashed it. At the time her sense of abandonment had been acute and music had been her only solace—an anchor in a world where nothing had made sense any more. She’d often wondered if that was why she had hooked up with someone like Sean. He’d entered her life when she’d been feeling especially low and he’d charmed her with his boyish smile, amusing jokes and the sense that he was a bit of rebel. She, poor fool, had lapped up his attention as though she’d been marooned on a desert island for years without seeing a single soul.
Mike was thoughtful. There was a real buzz of excitement in the pit of his belly when he thought about Caitlin and what she could potentially bring to the table for the band. Not only had they found themselves an amazing singer, but he’d discovered another musician he could harmonise with as well. There was no doubt in his mind that they could be a great team. The girl was worth her weight in gold.
‘What you did just now was more than “good”, Caitlin. You really know how to play.’
‘Thanks.’ Her smile was shy, but appreciative. After last night’s humiliating little encounter with Jake as they were watching the band she definitely welcomed a boost to her morale this morning.
God, she’d made such a fool of herself. Her heart thudded and slowed at the memory. It had been a bad mistake to let him see how much she wanted him. Not that she’d had much choice in the matter, when her body had seemed to have an agenda all of its own…
But then afterwards, when he had dropped her home to her flat after a near silent car journey filled with the most electrifying tension, Jake had confused her yet again when he’d insisted on accompanying her to her door and waiting until she’d got safely inside. There had been no sign of his earlier rejection at the concert.
The man was a genuine enigma and no mistake. Yet Caitlin understood why he had to put the band first. He wouldn’t jeopardise Blue Sky’s chances by having a meaningless fling with their new lead singer. Not that any association with Jake, however brief, could ever be meaningless…
‘Have you had the chance to learn the two new songs I gave you?’ Mike asked, his glance flicking interestedly over the pretty white gypsy-style blouse she was wearing with faded blue jeans.
‘After I got home from the gig I was up most of last night working on them,’ Caitlin told him, suppressing a yawn. She carefully withdrew a folded sheet of paper from her jeans pocket. ‘Do you want to give them a try?’
‘Sure. That would be great.’ Picking up his guitar again, Mike started to tune it.
The unexpected sound of a ring on the doorbell interrupted him and he broke off to spring nimbly to his feet. During his absence Caitlin took the opportunity to lean back against the edge of the pink velour couch behind her, stretch out her legs and idly finger her guitar strings. As much as she wanted and needed to learn the songs, it had probably not been the most sensible thing to do to stay up long into the early hours trying to master them. What she wouldn’t give for a long lie-down…
Her eyes drifting closed, she was just wondering how on earth she was going to get through the rest of the day when the sense that she had company alerted her. She looked up to find Jake staring down at her. He had a disconcerting glint in his eye that made Caitlin shiver helplessly, and she hastily sat up to drape her arm protectively across her guitar. What had she done wrong now?
‘Hi.’ It wasn’t easy to sound casual when all she could think about was what had happened between them at the gig. But straight away Jake was all business.
‘You’re giving rehearsals a miss this afternoon. We’re going out,’ he declared.
Dazedly, she answered, ‘We are?’
Mike had come back into the room behind him and her gaze swung from his to Mike’s and back again.
‘Not Mike,’ Jake qualified firmly. ‘Just you and me. I’m taking you shopping.’
‘But I don’t want to go shopping.’ Caitlin didn’t even pause to wonder what for. All she knew was that she was in no fit condition to trudge round some overheated shopping mall—with or without Jake.
‘This has got to be a first. A woman who doesn’t like shopping? Where have you been all my life?’ Mike joked.
But Jake didn’t look remotely amused. His handsome countenance was as implacable as usual. In his black leather coat and blue jeans, his square jaw fashionably unshaven, he looked as if he was in no mood to entertain an argument, no matter how convincing or passionate. Caitlin tensed.
‘Get your coat,’ he ordered.
‘But Mike and I were just—’
‘I’m not interested. I just want you to get your coat and be quick about it. I don’t want this to take any longer than it has to.’
He had a nerve! It was at Jake’s suggestion the previous night that Caitlin had come round to Mike’s to get some guitar practice in.
‘You can’t just walk in here and tell me what to do.’ She defiantly stayed where she was, even though her heart was beating like a jackhammer. Blue Sky’s lead guitarist was staring down at his feet as if they were suddenly the most interesting sight in the world. No moral support there, she thought irritably.
‘I thought I’d just done exactly that.’ Lifting a mocking eyebrow, Jake was unimpressed. ‘Now, if you want to continue to be a member of this band, I’d seriously consider doing what you’re told and being quick about it. We’re driving to London, and at this rate we won’t get there before one o’clock. That hardly gives us enough time.’
‘Enough time for what?’
Clearly mad at him, Caitlin finally got to her feet, gripping her precious guitar by its neck as if it was Jake’s neck she’d like to throttle. Her pretty face was flushed with emotion, her bewitching emerald eyes spitting fire, and in that instant Jake experienced a longing for her so deep that it hurt.
He knew he was only being short-tempered because he was furious with himself for wanting her so badly. Tough. Life could be unfair like that. If there had been the remotest possibility that they could find another singer even half as good as Caitlin, then he would seriously have considered letting her go. The band and Rick would undoubtedly give him hell but, damn it, if it was a choice between confronting their rage and losing his sanity then he knew which one he’d plump for.
The sheets on his bed had been a crumpled mess when he’d woken this morning. If he’d slept two hours he’d be surprised. It had been a hell of a long time since any woman had got Jake in such a stew—not since Jodie, and that had been six years ago. But even at the height of his attraction to Jodie it had never been like this. This mindless, helpless, heated longing that he felt for Caitlin was driving him slowly crazy.
If she had been any other woman but Blue Sky’s new lead singer he wouldn’t have hesitated in succumbing to his carnal desires. But Caitlin Ryan was strictly off-limits. Hadn’t he said so to himself when he’d first heard her sing?
‘Jake?’ When he didn’t immediately reply, but levelled his compelling blue gaze straight at her in warning, Caitlin had to suppress the worrying impulse to leave, to put herself out of the line of fire. Why was he so furious with her? What had she done to make him so disagreeable?
‘You need some clothes,’ he explained grudgingly. ‘Working clothes. The band plays its first date in London next week and we need to kit you out. I’ve arranged to meet a stylist I’ve worked with for years…someone I trust who will help guide you. Her name is Ronnie. Rick has had to drive up north on business, so today’s a good opportunity to sort things out. Now, go and get your coat…please.’
Driving a weary hand through his tousled mane, Jake looked as if his patience was being sorely tested. In the meantime, Caitlin’s mind was racing. He was taking her to buy clothes? That would mean she’d have to parade herself in front of him, not to mention this stylist, whilst getting hot and bothered, trying on garments in cramped changing rooms and no doubt feeling woefully inadequate when something didn’t look right or didn’t fit.
Was it really necessary that he go with her? And did she really need a professional stylist to help her choose the right clothes? Couldn’t Jake simply trust her own judgement as far as dressing herself went?
One look into that arrogant male visage and she had her answer. She could stand there and argue until they got old and Jake would still insist on going with her.
‘I hate and detest shopping,’ she said, before turning on her heel and grabbing her coat off the back of the pink velour armchair. ‘And if you think for one second that I’m pouring myself into some horrible skin-tight catsuit for the sake of this band then you’ve got another think coming!’
And with that she shouldered angrily past Jake out into the hallway—but not before suffering the added indignity of hearing the two men she’d left behind chuckling between them in some ancient patronising ritual of amused male bonding.
