Читать книгу The Dreaming Of... Collection - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 72

SILENTLY, Ammar led her to his bedroom, his fingers still threaded with hers. Noelle could feel her heart thudding in her chest, each painful beat reminding her of the intimacy and importance of this moment, of what Ammar was asking. Finally they would have their wedding night.

He opened the door to his bedroom and drew her inside. In the shadowy moonlit room she could only just make out his face, and saw how solemn and intent he looked. Her heart beat harder.

He let out a shuddering breath and to her dismay took a step back, releasing her hand. She felt the loss of him acutely, the emptiness like an ache. She held her breath, watching him warily as he drew another deep breath.

‘I’ve waited so long for this,’ he said in a low voice that throbbed with emotion. ‘So long, and I’m not rushing it like some randy schoolboy.’

‘I don’t mind rushing,’ Noelle said shakily and Ammar gave her a small smile.

‘There will be time for rushing later. Now we’re going to take it slowly.’ And his smile turned wonderfully wicked as he took a step closer to her and reached out to unbutton the top button of her blouse. His gaze remained intent and heavy on hers as he slowly—so slowly—undid each button of the blouse. Noelle’s whole body thrummed with excitement and expectation as she felt Ammar’s fingers whisper down her body. She didn’t move, didn’t touch him, because she knew instinctively that Ammar was leading this dance and she was his willing and waiting partner.

With the final button undone he carefully parted her blouse and then let it slip from her shoulders. Noelle gave a tiny shrug and it slid to the ground. Deftly he unhooked her bra, and that followed the blouse to the floor.

He slid his hands along her shoulders and then cupped her breasts, his palms cradling their softness as his thumbs brushed across the achingly sensitised peaks. She let out a shuddering breath. ‘Tell me what to do,’ she whispered.

‘Undress me.’

A thrill ran through her. She felt emboldened and powerful as she stepped closer to him and began to undo the buttons of his shirt. She felt him tremble under her touch and she fumbled with the button, laughing softly.

‘My fingers are shaking.’ In answer Ammar reached for her hand and placed it over his heart; she could feel it thunder in his chest. ‘Mine, too,’ she whispered, and undid another button. It seemed to take forever to undo them all, but finally she was sliding the shirt off his broad shoulders, glorying in the feel of sleek skin and hard muscle. She loved touching him. She’d been aching to do it for so long, and now that she could she felt like a child in a sweet shop, looking around in wonder. Hers. He was all hers.

His shirt fell to the floor and she gazed at his bare chest, the sprinkling of dark hair veeing down to the waistband of his trousers, the sculpted muscles and taut lines of his beautiful body. ‘Now what?’ she asked shakily.

‘Round two,’ Ammar murmured, and icy heat raced through her as he reached for the button of her skirt and popped it open with his thumb. Just the brush of his fingers against her bare tummy sent another blaze of desire shooting through her, and she swayed on her feet as he unzipped and slid the skirt down her legs, falling to his knees in front of her.

‘Ammar …

He slid his hand down the length of her bare leg, his touch sure and possessive, and then balanced her with his other hand as he helped her to step out of her skirt. Undressing, Noelle thought hazily, had never taken so long nor felt so erotic.

Then she stopped thinking at all as Ammar hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her knickers and slowly slid those down her legs as well, so she was completely naked.

He slid his hands back up her legs to her hips, cradling her surely as he arched her pelvis towards him. Noelle’s eyes fluttered closed as he pressed a kiss at the juncture of her thighs, one little kiss that still sent waves of pleasure pulsating through her. Then he righted her again and stood up.

‘Now me.’

Noelle eyed his belt buckle and trouser zip with a dazed scepticism, for her fingers were trembling so much she wasn’t sure she’d be able to manage any of it. Her whole body was trembling, shaking with the force of her desire for him.

‘This might take a while,’ she joked, and Ammar smiled.

‘I told you we weren’t rushing.’

Noelle reached for his belt buckle, fumbling with it helplessly. ‘For a woman who specialises in accessories, you don’t know your way around a belt very well,’ he admonished wryly, and she gave a soft laugh.

‘I’m hopeless.’

Ammar wrapped his fingers around hers, stilling them on his belt. ‘Nothing about this,’ he said quietly, ‘is hopeless.’

Noelle felt a lump rise in her throat. ‘You’re right,’ she whispered. This moment was full of hope and wonder and love. She felt dizzy with it all. ‘Still,’ she managed, ‘I’d like to get your trousers off.’

‘I’d like that, too.’

He smiled at her, his expression so full of desire and love that Noelle felt a flare of joyful power and quickly she undid his belt, unzipped his trousers. She slid his trousers down his legs and then glanced at his boxers, his arousal gloriously evident. Ammar caught her chin in his fingers and she realised she’d been staring.

‘Touch me,’ he said softly, and she slid his boxers off and wrapped her hand around the hard, silky length of his erection. ‘Oh, Noelle,’ he said with a shuddering breath. ‘I love you.’

She let out a choked cry, overwhelmed by the poignancy and even sacredness of the moment. Ammar drew her to him, her naked body so wonderfully pressed against his, every point in exquisite and aching contact.

Then Ammar led her to the huge bed with its silk duvet and laid her down as gently and reverently as a treasure. He joined her and they lay there for a moment, unspeaking, the only sound the soft draw and sigh of their breathing. Slowly he slid his hand over her body, smoothing her skin from shoulder to hip. Noelle lifted her own hand and did the same, loving the feel of him, revelling in the freedom she felt in touching him.

Ammar drew her to him for a deep, lingering kiss that turned hungry, demanding, the intensity of their desire taking them over. He pulled her to him, his hands roving over her as he kissed her again, just as deeply, and Noelle hooked one leg around his, felt the insistent brush of his arousal against her and arched towards him.

Neither of them spoke, but no words were needed. There was just this, the brush of lips and fingers, the soft sigh of surrender and pleasure. Noelle’s hands curled around the taut muscles of Ammar’s shoulders as he finally, wondrously slid inside her. He paused, and in that silent moment Noelle knew they were both overwhelmed by the sense of completion and wholeness the joining of their bodies had brought.

She wrapped her legs around his hips and arched upwards, accepting him even more fully as Ammar began to move with smooth, sure strokes. Noelle found his rhythm and matched it, their bodies working sinuously and sensuously together, and as pleasure surged through her, spiralling upwards and upwards, she cried out his name and buried her head in the curve of his shoulder, racked by sudden, helpless sobs of joy.

Sunlight streamed through the crack between the curtains of Ammar’s bedroom and with a sudden scraping sound he opened them, letting the hard lemon-yellow light bathe the room with its brightness.

Noelle rolled over in the bed, felt the yawning empty space next to her as she stretched. She felt wonderfully sated, her whole body filled with a wonderful languor even as it pulsed with the memory of last night. Neither of them had got much sleep.

Ammar glanced back at her now, eyebrows raised. He seemed, Noelle thought, more relaxed than she’d ever seen him. His chest was bare, a pair of drawstring trousers riding low on his hips so she could see the hard ridge of bone and taut muscle. He looked, as always, mouth-dryingly gorgeous.

‘Sleep well?’ he asked, and she gave a little laugh.

‘I don’t think I slept much at all.’

His mouth curved in a knowing smile. ‘Funny, I didn’t, either.’

She pushed a tangle of hair away from her eyes, wanting to ask him to come back to bed, but the words caught in her throat. Last night had been wonderful, but she still felt strangely shy this morning. He came anyway, sitting on the edge as he glanced at her solemnly.

‘It’s Sunday.’

‘Is it?’ The weekend had flown by, and yet at the same time Noelle felt as if she’d been here for ever. A lifetime lived in the space of a few days.

‘You need to go back to Paris.’

She stared at him, not wanting to grasp the implication. ‘I do?’

‘From the horrified look on your face, I take it you’ve come to appreciate desert living.’

‘I suppose I have.’

‘But needs must,’ he said, rising from the bed. ‘I’d hate to cost you your job.’

Her job. Noelle sank back against the pillows. She hadn’t given Arche even a thought for at least twenty-four hours. After two days’ unexplained absence, she wasn’t even sure she’d have a job left. She could definitely forget about the promotion. Why didn’t she care? Because, she realised with a pang, she had never loved the job in the first place. She’d tried to and she’d poured her life in it, the new life she’d created post-Ammar that bore no resemblance to the person she’d been with him, the person she wanted to be now. Her true self. When I’m with him, she thought, I’m the woman I want to be.

‘I have some work to do in the Paris office anyway,’ Ammar said, distracting her as he reached for a T-shirt and slid it over his head. Noelle watched the sculpted muscles of his chest disappear beneath the white cotton with a flicker of regret. ‘We can fly out this afternoon.’

‘We’ll both go?’

‘That’s the idea.’

It was a wonderful idea, Noelle thought. A normal and yet intoxicating idea—living in the same city, sharing simple pleasures. They’d go on dates. They’d watch films and eat take-away and sleep—what little sleep they might get—in the same bed.

A few hours later, they took a helicopter to Marrakech, touching down at the airport only to board a private plane that would take them to Paris. Noelle settled into a sumptuous sofa of cream leather with a sigh of appreciation.

‘Do you always take a private jet, wherever you go?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’ Ammar sat across from her and opened his briefcase.

‘It must be an awful expense.’

He took a sheaf of papers out. ‘It’s worth it.’

There was something repressive about his manner, the way he wouldn’t look at her. Noelle felt a flicker of unease. She knew he didn’t like to talk about Tannous Enterprises. She didn’t really like to ask. But, sitting there across from him, she was conscious of how much she didn’t know. ‘You said you wanted to legitimise Tannous Enterprises,’ she said quietly. ‘What does that mean exactly?’

‘Exactly what it sounds like.’ Ammar was still scanning his papers, clearly unwilling to look her in the eye or continue this conversation.

Noelle reached over and laid a hand across the papers he was reading so avidly, causing him to look up, startled. ‘Don’t,’ she said quietly. ‘Don’t shut me out.’

He stared at her for a long moment, and Noelle could not read his expression at all. She hated it when he blanked her out like this, almost as if he were blanking himself out. Not thinking anything, just as he’d told her before. ‘I’m not shutting you out,’ he said evenly. ‘But I’m not sure you want to know all the sordid details of my father’s business. He was corrupt, Noelle. A criminal.’ He spoke flatly, his jaw tight.

Noelle swallowed. ‘But it’s your business now.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Are they so very sordid?’ she asked, heard how small her voice sounded. Ammar uncapped a gold-plated pen and made a notation on one of the papers.

‘It’s simply not worth discussing. I intend to legalise every aspect of Tannous Enterprises and make restitution where it is necessary.’

Doing what was right. ‘That sounds like a huge job.’

‘It is.’

She felt a surge of admiration for what he was undertaking, what he wanted to do. Impulsively, she leaned over and placed her hand on his. His skin was warm, his muscles taut. ‘I’m proud of you, Ammar. Of what you’re doing.’

He glanced at her properly, his amber eyes opaque and fathomless. A muscle jerked in his jaw. ‘Don’t speak too soon,’ he said, and removed his hand. ‘I haven’t done much of anything yet.’

‘But you will.’ She spoke with confidence, with love, and she knew Ammar heard it. He glanced at her again and she saw a hunger in his eyes, a need she felt bloom in herself. Suddenly she was breathless.

Slowly he reached one hand out and laced his fingers with hers. Her heart began to pound as he drew her to him, up from her seat and across the aisle and then onto his lap, her legs splayed across his hips. She felt the hard ridge of his erection against her and a thrill ran through, like icy fire.

He tangled his hands in her hair, drew her face to him for a kiss so deep and endless it felt as if he were plumbing the depths of her soul. She pressed against him, let out a shuddering breath as he pressed back, every point of contact aching with exquisite and unsated desire.

He slid his hands under her top and nudged aside her bra, his palms cupping her breasts as he shifted to angle her more purposefully on top of him. Another thrill shot through her at the feeling of him underneath her, and she let out a shuddering breath. She would never get tired of this, never feel that she had enough of him.

Ammar flipped open the top button of her skirt, the flat of his hand sliding along her skin. Noelle instinctively wriggled her hips to give him greater access. Yet, just as his fingers tugged beneath the lace of her underwear, the sound of a door opening, a throat clearing had them both freezing.

‘Excuse me, sir—’ One of Ammar’s staff dropped his voice to a horrified hush. ‘I’m sorry; I just wanted to let you know we’re ready for take-off—’

‘Indeed,’ Ammar said dryly. ‘I certainly am,’ he murmured in Noelle’s ear, and she buried her face in the warm curve of his shoulder, her own shoulders shaking with sudden laughter.

With another murmured apology, the man left and Noelle lifted her head from Ammar’s shoulder. ‘I’m so embarrassed.’

‘You’re gorgeous. And, fortunately for us, this plane comes with a bedroom.’

‘We couldn’t—’ Noelle protested, and he gave her a wicked smile.

‘Oh, yes, we could.’

And they did.

Ammar couldn’t keep from smiling even as he tried to focus on the papers in front of him. He glanced up at Noelle, saw her curled up across from him, one hand resting against her cheek as she read a fashion magazine, a faint frown puckering her forehead. They’d made good use of that bedroom and his body still thrummed with the satisfaction of making Noelle his again. Having her say she was proud of him had been an overwhelming aphrodisiac. Hearing the love in her voice, knowing she believed in him—

She doesn’t know anything.

The thought slammed into his mind with the force of a hammer, shattering the hope that had been buoying his heart and taking the smile off his face. Ammar closed his eyes in silent supplication, willing himself not to think even as the happiness he’d just felt evaporated in the hard light of reality. Noelle didn’t know a damn thing about what he’d done. What he’d been capable of.

And some day she would have to find out.

Don’t think about it. He forced his mind to blank. Don’t think, don’t remember. You’re different now. With Noelle by your side, you can be different.

To his surprise, he felt the soft touch of her hand on his and he looked up to see her smiling at him, although her eyes were dark and troubled. ‘Don’t worry so much,’ she said quietly, and squeezed his hand. Ammar captured her hand in his and brought it to his lips.

‘I’m not,’ he lied, smiling as he kissed her fingers. She smiled back, so very trusting. Believing in him. He felt that hard knot of worry ease, just a little. With Noelle by his side—and in his bed—everything would be different. He would be.

Several hours later, they landed in Paris. A limousine with darkly tinted windows was waiting for them at the gate and Ammar ushered her in while one of his local team went for their bags. Her eyes widened at the sight of the two dark-suited men going about their business with cold, brisk efficiency.

His driver, Youssef, spoke to him in Arabic, asking him if he wanted to go directly to the corporate penthouse his father had always kept in Paris. Noelle frowned as he answered back before turning to her. ‘I’ll drop you off before I go to my apartment.’

‘I thought,’ she said, ‘you’d stay with me.’

If only it could be so simple. ‘Work prevents me from doing so.’

‘Work?’

Ammar felt himself tense. He wanted to keep Noelle as separate from work as possible, at least until he’d swept Tannous Enterprises clean. ‘I have many meetings, commitments,’ he explained, trying to keep his voice mild. ‘I’m reorganising every regional branch of the company, going through records and files, interviewing staff. Firing people as well. It is time-consuming and somewhat unpleasant, and I don’t wish to bring such things into your home.’

‘I see.’

Noelle turned to stare out of the window, the Parisian traffic sliding by, and Ammar wondered just what she thought she saw. Was he imagining the flicker of suspicion in her eyes, just because he felt it himself?

Pushing the pointless thought away, he took out his smartphone and sent a few texts to various members of his staff. He didn’t want to concern Noelle with any of it, didn’t want her to worry or even to know, yet he feared he was attempting the impossible—on far too many levels. Tannous Enterprises was the elephant in the room with them, the camel with its great hulking nose under the tent. The only way to get rid of it would be to acknowledge it, explain everything, and Ammar wasn’t willing to do that. Not yet. Not when this thing between them was so new, so fragile. So untested.

At her apartment building on the Ile St-Louis he instructed Youssef to wait while he escorted her upstairs. Noelle glanced back at the burly man standing in front of her building, his arms crossed.

‘Who’s that?’

‘One of my security team. His name is Ahmed.’

‘Why is he there?’

‘To protect us.’

She shook her head slowly. ‘I didn’t realise we needed protecting. You didn’t have a security team in the desert, did you?’

‘No, but I didn’t need one. It’s miles from anywhere.’ They’d reached the top floor and Noelle slowly unlocked the door to her apartment, her forehead wrinkled in a frown.

‘I don’t like it.’

‘I should tell you, I intend to keep Ahmed with you,’ Ammar said as she opened the door. ‘For your own protection.’

She dropped her keys on the hall table and turned to him, eyebrows raised, expression guarded. ‘Do you actually think I’m in some kind of danger?’

‘No,’ he answered swiftly, ‘but it would ease my mind, and I have no intention of taking any risks with you.’

‘What kind of risks?’

Ammar thought of some of the people he’d dealt with and shook his head. ‘Noelle, I was able to have you taken from your doorstep without anyone even noticing. I simply want you to be protected.’

Her expression darkened, like a cloud had come over the sun. He shouldn’t have mentioned that, he realised. Reminded her of what he’d done. ‘That was you,’ she said quietly. ‘Am I in danger from you, Ammar?’

Ammar felt as if he’d been punched in the chest. He felt, quite literally, breathless, no more so than when she gazed at him sorrowfully. It had been a genuine question. She was still waiting for the answer.

‘Do you think you are?’ he asked, his voice no more than a rough thread of sound.

She stared at him and the soft line of her mouth trembled. ‘No,’ she said at last, but it had taken her at least ten seconds to reply. Ammar drew a ragged breath into his lungs. All the euphoric hope he’d been feeling at knowing she loved him, believed in him, leaked out of him, left him flat.

‘I see,’ he said quietly, and she bit her lip.

‘Ammar, I know I’m not in danger from you. Not … not the kind of danger that requires a bodyguard, at any rate.’

‘What kind of danger are you talking about, then?’ he asked evenly.

Her eyes were luminous as she stared at him, her lip still caught between her teeth. ‘Nothing,’ she whispered, but he knew what she wasn’t saying. Of course he did. She was afraid he would abandon her again. Reject and hurt her, just as he had before.

Every instinct in him reared up, urged him to cloak himself in cold anger. But he was different now, he wanted to be different, and so with effort he said, ‘I would never do anything to hurt you, Noelle. Never.’

‘I know you wouldn’t,’ she whispered, but again he knew what she wasn’t saying. You wouldn’t mean to.

‘I love you,’ he said, the words like jagged pieces cutting him up inside. He knew he sounded reluctant, grudging, but he meant every word. It was just so hard to say them. ‘Come here,’ he commanded gruffly and, with her eyes wide and dark, a frown still wrinkling her forehead, she slowly walked over to him. Ammar closed the last few inches, his hands curling around her shoulders, drawing her pliant softness to him. He leaned his forehead against hers, her hair whispering against his face, and breathed in the sweet feminine scent of her. ‘I love you,’ he said again, and this time it sounded better. As if he meant it, and was maybe even happy about it.

She let out a trembling laugh. ‘Does it get easier the more you say it?’

‘A little bit.’ She didn’t answer, but he saw a tear form at the corner of her eye. ‘Oh, please, don’t,’ he muttered. He couldn’t bear the thought that he was still making her cry. ‘Don’t.’ And then he kissed her, brushing her lips softly against his, his thumbs catching the dampness of her tears.

She kissed him back softly, a promise. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I have my own ghosts, Ammar. My own memories and fears. It’s not just you that has to learn to be different.’

He’d never thought Noelle needed to change, yet it humbled him now to know she was trying, just like he was. Trying to trust. Wanting to love.

‘We’ll help each other,’ he said gruffly. He was still unused to these words, these conversations. So much emotion, so much painful honesty. As gently as he could, he eased away from her. ‘I should go. I have business to attend to.’ She nodded, her face shadowed once more, questions in her eyes. ‘Have dinner with me tonight,’ he said, and her expression lightened, if only a little.

‘OK.’

He stared at her, words crowding his throat, words he was still afraid to say. He loved her; she loved him. Why couldn’t it be simple?

Everything still felt difficult, impossible even, insurmountable obstacles strewn across the twisting path to their happiness. Secrets. Sins. Sorrows and fears.

And when those emerged into the harsh and revealing light of day, Ammar wondered bleakly, what would be left? Would Noelle still love him? Would she even look at him?

He was afraid to answer that question.

With a jerky nod of farewell, he turned and left.