Читать книгу The Sheikh's Collection - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 43

CHAPTER EIGHT

KHALIL KNEW HE was a little drunk. He hadn’t had any alcohol to drink; none had been served. Yet he still felt dazed, almost drugged with possibility. With something deeper and stronger than mere lust, even if part of him wanted to give it that name, make it that simple.

He held the tent flap open for Elena and watched as she moved past him, her Bedouin clothing emphasising the sinuous swing of her hips, her graceful gait. Once in the tent she turned to him and he saw the expectation in her eyes, felt it in himself.

Tonight, to all intents and purposes, they were married. Husband and wife.

‘Did you have a good time this evening?’ he asked and she nodded.

‘Yes... I don’t know when I’ve had a better time, actually.’ She let out a little laugh, sounding self-conscious, uncertain. ‘I haven’t gone to many parties before.’

‘Not gone to parties? Not even royal or state functions?’

She shook her head, her grey eyes heartbreakingly wide above her veil. ‘I’ve gone to those, but they weren’t...they weren’t fun. I could never just be myself. I was always Queen Elena and sometimes it felt like an act.’

‘A danger of wearing the crown so young, I suppose. But you should be proud of yourself, Elena, and all you have accomplished.’

He took a step towards her, the need to touch her growing with every moment they spent together. His palms itched and he had to keep himself from reaching for her. ‘And were you yourself tonight, Elena? Looking as you do, like a Bedouin girl?’

‘Strangely, yes.’ She let out another laugh, this one breathy. ‘I felt more free tonight than I have in a long time.’

‘Free—and yet captive.’ He didn’t know why he felt the need to remind her of the truth of their situation just then, only that he did. Perhaps he was trying to remind himself to hold onto reality when all he really wanted was to slip the veil from her face and the dress from her body.

‘I don’t feel like a captive any more, Khalil. I want to be here with you. You might have brought me here, but I’m choosing this now.’

He saw a bold purpose in her eyes now. The innocent, it seemed, had become a seductress. A siren. She walked towards him, lowering the veil of coins away from her face, and placed her hands on his chest. He gazed down at her long, slender fingers, felt them tremble against him. ‘Tonight I want to forget everything, Khalil. Everything but you.’

Desire pulsed through him, blurred his brain along with his vision. ‘Elena—’

‘Please.’

He covered her hands with his own; he’d meant to remove them but as soon as he touched her he knew he wouldn’t. He knew he needed at least this much, because there wouldn’t be much more.

There couldn’t be.

‘Elena,’ he said again, and she shook her head, her hair escaping from underneath her veil, tumbling about her shoulders as dark as a desert night.

‘Don’t, Khalil,’ she whispered. ‘Don’t say no to me now.’

‘Do you even know what you’re asking?’ he demanded, his voice low, raw and ragged with a desire he couldn’t deny.

‘Yes, I do.’ She met his gaze. ‘I’m asking you to make love to me. With me.’

Khalil’s breath escaped in a hiss. ‘Yes, but you don’t know what that means.’

Her eyes flashed sudden fire. ‘Don’t tell me what I know or don’t know, Khalil. I’m perfectly aware of what it means. What I’m asking.’

He arched an eyebrow. ‘Are you sure about that, Elena? Because, if I’m not very much mistaken, I believe you’re a virgin.’

She flushed but didn’t lower her challenging gaze. ‘Practical experience isn’t required to make an informed choice.’

He almost laughed then, both amused by and admiring of her boldness and courage. His hands tightened on hers as he considered the possibility.

One night... One wonderful, amazing, incredible night...

‘It’s dangerous,’ he began, and she shook her head.

‘I know there are ways to prevent a pregnancy, if you don’t have any protection.’

Her cheeks had turned fiery and he almost laughed. ‘Oh, you do? As it happens, I have protection.’

Surprise made her jaw drop. ‘You do?’

‘Not,’ he continued swiftly, ‘because I intended to use it.’

She eyed him sceptically. ‘Really?’

‘I just like to be prepared.’

She looked uncertain then, even vulnerable. ‘Have you had many lovers, then?’

‘Not as many as you’re thinking, and none in the last year. I’ve been too busy with other things.’ And none like you. Untouched. Innocent. Amazing. He couldn’t believe he was seriously thinking about taking Elena up on her offer. About making love to her.

‘When I said it was dangerous, Elena, I didn’t mean an unplanned pregnancy. I was talking about the...the emotional risks.’

She flinched and then recovered her composure. ‘I’m aware of the risk, Khalil,’ she told him. ‘And I’m not under the illusion that this would be anything but one night. I’m not asking for more from you.’

‘I know that.’

‘Then what’s the problem?’ He just shook his head, both torn and tempted. Her smile turned flirtatious, even sultry. ‘I suppose I’ll just have to seduce you.’

Surprise flared deep inside him, along with an almost unbearable arousal. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ he managed. He knew she wouldn’t have to do much and he would cave completely. He would take her in his arms and lose himself in her kiss, in her body.

He took a defensive step backwards and Elena’s mouth curved in the kind of wicked little smile he hadn’t known she was capable of.

‘Scared, Khalil?’

‘Tempted, Elena. And I’d rather not be.’

‘Are you sure about that?’ Slowly she lifted her arms, the wide sleeves of her dress falling back to reveal her slender wrists, and began to unwind her headscarf. Her kohl-lined eyes were wide and dark as she slowly unwrapped the garment, and Khalil simply watched, entranced by the utterly feminine and sensual act of undressing.

He heard his breath come out in something close to a pant as she dropped the headscarf and then shrugged out of her dress.

Underneath she wore only a thin chemise of bleached cotton, the material nearly transparent. He could see the temptingly round fullness of her breasts, the shadow between her thighs. He stifled a groan.

She moved closer, her eyes full of an ancient feminine power. She knew how she affected him and it made her bold.

It made her irresistible.

Her hands slid up his chest and he knew she could feel how his heart was racing. His mind had stalled at the sight of her and it now kicked desperately into gear.

‘I really don’t think this is a good idea, Elena.’

‘Too bad, then, that I do.’ She stood on her tiptoes and brushed a butterfly kiss across his mouth. ‘That’s only the second kiss I’ve ever had,’ she whispered against his lips. ‘The first was two nights ago, when you held me on your lap.’

He closed his eyes. He was the only man who had ever kissed her? Didn’t she realise how much she was giving him, offering him freely? Didn’t she know how hurt she might be afterwards? No matter what she said or promised now, she was young. Inexperienced. Innocent.

He forced his eyes open, wrapped his hands around hers and attempted to draw them away from him. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Elena.’

‘You won’t.’

‘You don’t know that. You can’t know that, because you’ve never done this before.’

‘And when am I going to get a chance to do it, Khalil?’ she asked, her honest gaze clashing with his. ‘I was going to give myself to a man I barely knew for the sake of my country. That possibility has been taken away from me now. You’ve taken it away from me, and I think it’s only fair you offer me something in return. You owe me a wedding night.’

He let out a ragged laugh. ‘I never thought of it that way.’

‘Think of it that way now,’ she said, and kissed him again. Her lips were soft, warm and open and her breasts brushed his chest. Khalil’s arms came around her without him having made a conscious decision to embrace her, yet suddenly he was. He pulled her closer, fitting her softness against his body, pressing against her, craving the contact. And as her lips parted and she innocently, instinctively deepened the kiss, he knew he was lost.

* * *

This was what she wanted. Needed. Elena wound her arms around Khalil’s neck as he took over her tentative kiss and made it his own. Made it theirs. His tongue slid into her mouth, exploring its contours and causing shivers of amazed pleasure to ripple through her. She had never known a kiss could be so consuming. So...much.

He slid one hand from her shoulder to cup her breast, his palm warm and sure. Elena shuddered under his touch. The intensity of her pleasure was almost painful, and yet achingly exquisite. And, while this was so much more than she’d ever felt or experienced before, it still wasn’t enough. She felt an ache deep inside for more and she acted on it.

She pushed the thobe from his shoulders, and wordlessly Khalil shrugged out of it; the loose linen shirt and trousers he wore underneath followed. He was completely naked and utterly beautiful, long, lean, lithe and yet incredibly powerful, his body rippling with muscle. Now more than ever he reminded her of a panther, beautiful, awe-inspiring and just a little bit scary.

This was scary. Wonderful, exciting, new—and scary. She took a deep breath and waited for him to make the next move because she wasn’t sure what it should be.

He lifted the hem of her chemise and she raised her arms so he could take it off her. She wore nothing underneath and, as his gaze roved over her nakedness, she felt a twinge of embarrassment, extinguished when he ran a gentle hand from her shoulder to thigh.

‘You are so beautiful, Elena.’

‘You are too,’ she whispered and he laughed softly and tugged on her hand, leading her towards the bed.

He lay down on the soft covers and drew her down next to him so they were facing each other. Elena’s breath was already coming in short gasps; her senses were on overload simply by lying next to Khalil, his naked body so close to hers. His chest rippled with muscle and his belly was taut and flat. Her gaze dipped lower and then moved up again; she might have been talking a big game but she was still inexperienced. Still a little nervous.

Khalil took her hand and placed it on his bare chest. ‘We can stop,’ he said quietly; it amazed her how he always seemed to know what she was thinking, feeling. ‘We can always stop.’

‘I don’t want to stop,’ she told him with a shaky laugh. ‘That doesn’t mean I’m not going to be a little nervous, though.’

‘Understandable,’ he murmured, and kissed her again, a kiss that was slow and soft and wonderful. A kiss that banished any lingering fears or feelings of nervousness. A kiss that felt like a promise, although of what Elena couldn’t say.

He slid his hand down her body, rested it on the flat of her tummy, waited. Everything in Elena quivered with anticipation. She wanted him to touch her...everywhere.

Still kissing her, he moved his hand lower. He waited again for the acceptance that she gave, his fingers brushing between her thighs, everything in her straining and yearning for even more.

And as he touched her with such wonderful, knowing expertise she realised she wanted to touch him too. She felt a new boldness come over her, a certainty to take what she wanted—and give him what he wanted. She smoothed her hands over his chest, slid her fingers across the ridged muscles of his abdomen. She wrapped them around the length of his arousal, causing his breath to come out in a hiss of pleasure which increased her own and made her bolder still.

With each caress the pressure in her built, a desperate need demanding satisfaction. And even she, in her innocence and inexperience, knew how it would finally be satisfied.

She rolled onto her back as he put on the condom and then positioned himself over her, braced on his forearms, his breath coming out in a ragged pant as he waited. ‘Are you sure...?’

‘Of course I’m sure, Khalil,’ she half-laughed, half-sobbed, because by then she was more than sure. She was ready.

And then he entered her, slowly, the sensation so strange and yet so right at the same time. He went deeper, and with an instinct she hadn’t known she possessed she arched her hips upwards and wrapped her legs around his waist. Pulled him deeper into herself.

‘Okay?’ he muttered and she almost laughed.

‘Yes. Yes. More than okay.’ And she was. She felt powerful in that moment, as well as loved. As if, with Khalil, she could do anything. She could be the person she was meant to be. She’d thought trusting someone, loving someone, made you weak, left you open and vulnerable to hurt. But right now she felt utterly strong. Completely whole.

And then he started to move, and the friction of his body inside hers increased that ache of pleasure deep within her, a sensation that built to such strength she felt as if it would explode from her, as if she would fly from the force of it, soaring high above the little camp, above everything.

And then it happened, everything in her peaking in an explosion of pleasure: she cried out, one long, ragged note, and fell back against the pillows, her body still wrapped around Khalil’s, his head buried in the curve of her shoulder.

Neither of them spoke for several long minutes; Elena could feel the thud of Khalil’s heart against her own, both of them racing. She stared up at the ceiling of the tent and wondered how she’d gone as long as she had without experiencing such incredible intimacy. Feeling such an amazing sense of rightness and power.

Slowly Khalil moved off her. He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, and Elena felt the first pinprick of uncertainty. Suddenly he seemed remote.

‘I didn’t hurt you,’ he said, not quite a question, and she shook her head.

‘No.’

‘Good.’ He rose then, magnificent in his nakedness, and went to dress.

‘Khalil...’ She rose up onto her elbows. ‘Don’t.’

‘Don’t what?’

‘You owe me a wedding night, not a wedding hour,’ she told him, trying to sound teasing even though nerves leapt in her belly and fluttered in her throat. ‘Come back to bed.’

He stared at her for an endless moment, his thobe clenched in one hand, and Elena thought he would refuse—walk out of the tent and leave her alone with nothing but memories and regret. Then with a slight shrug he dropped the garment. He returned to the bed, sitting on its edge, away from her. She saw several faded white scars crisscrossing his back, and wondered at them. Now, she knew, was not the time to ask.

‘I don’t want to hurt you, Elena,’ he said quietly. ‘And I don’t mean physically.’

She swallowed hard. ‘I know you don’t.’

He gave a slight shake of his head. ‘The closer we become, seem...’

Seem. Because tonight’s intimacy wasn’t real, at least not for him. ‘I understand, Khalil,’ she told him. ‘You don’t have to warn me again. Tonight is a fantasy. Tomorrow it ends. Trust me, I get that. I accept it.’

He let out a weary sigh and gently she laid a hand on his shoulder, her fingers curling around warm skin, and pulled him back towards her. After a second’s resistance, he came, lying next to her, folding her into his arms and then hauling her against his chest.

It felt like the only place she’d ever really belonged.

For tonight.

Neither of them spoke for several long minutes; Khalil stroked her hair and Elena rested one hand on his chest, perfectly content.

Almost.

The knowledge that this was only temporary, only tonight, ate away at her happiness, poked holes in this moment’s peace. She tried to banish that knowledge; she wanted to dwell only in the fantasy now.

Closing her eyes, she imagined that they were in fact wed, that the ceremony tonight had been theirs. That they lay here as husband and wife, utterly in love with each other.

As she embroidered each detail onto the cloth of her imagination, she knew she was being foolish. Understood that envisioning such a thing, such a life, even if only as a fantasy, was dangerous.

Khalil didn’t want a relationship, a loving relationship, and she didn’t either. At least, she shouldn’t. She’d never wanted it before. She’d chosen not to look for love, not to trust someone with her heart, her life. She’d done it once before—not romantically, but the betrayal had still wounded her deeply. Had made her doubt not just other people but herself.

How could she have trusted someone who had used her so spectacularly?

And how could she ever risk herself to trust again?

No, she was better off without love or romance. Keeping it as a fantasy, a single night.

And maybe, if she kept telling herself that, she’d believe it.

‘What are you thinking about, Elena?’ Khalil asked, his voice a quiet rumble in his chest.

‘Nothing—’

‘Not nothing,’ he interjected quietly. ‘You’ve gone all tense.’

And she realised she had; she was lying stiff in his arms, her hand curled against his chest. Gently he reached up and flattened her fist, smoothing her fingers out before resting his hand on top of hers. ‘What were you thinking about?’ he asked again.

She sighed. ‘Just...some memories.’

‘The same memories that give you nightmares?’

‘No. Different ones.’

‘Not good ones, though.’

‘No.’ She let out a little sigh. ‘Not particularly.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said after a moment, and somehow that felt like exactly the right thing to say.

‘So am I. But I don’t want to think about bad memories tonight, Khalil. I want to be happy. Just for tonight.’

He squeezed her hand lightly. ‘I won’t stop you.’

‘I know, but...’ She wanted more than his acquiescence; she wanted his participation. ‘Can we—can we pretend?’ she asked, her voice quavering slightly with nervousness. ‘Can we pretend, just for tonight, that we’re...that we’re in love?’ She felt his body tense underneath her hand and she hurried to explain. ‘I know we’re not. I don’t want us to be, not for real. I don’t want to love someone like that.’ Khalil remained ominously silent, so she continued stiltedly, ‘I just want to feel like I do for one night. To forget everything else and just enjoy feelings I can’t afford to have in real life.’ She sounded ridiculous, Elena realised. What was she really asking? For him to pretend to love her?

How absurd. How pathetic.

And Khalil still hadn’t said anything.

‘Maybe it’s a stupid idea,’ Elena muttered. Inwardly she cringed at the whole ridiculous proposition she’d put before him. ‘I didn’t mean... You don’t have to worry that I’ll suddenly...’ Her throat tightened and she was about to force herself to go on, to reassure him that she wouldn’t fall in love with him or start expecting emotions and commitments from him simply because they’d had sex, but then Khalil spoke first.

‘For one night,’ he said slowly. ‘I think I can manage that...my darling.’

Surprise gave way to mirth and even joy, and she let out a bubble of laughter, shaking her head. ‘Now, that rolled off the tongue quite nicely,’ she teased.

‘Did it not, dearest?’ He raised his eyebrows, turning to her with an enquiring smile. ‘What shall I call you, then, essence of sweetness?’

She turned her head towards the pillow to muffle her laughter. ‘Essence of sweetness? Where do you come up with that stuff?’

‘It comes naturally, my dewy petal,’ he purred. ‘Can’t you tell?’

Tears of laughter started in her eyes. Her stomach ached. And she felt the biggest, sloppiest grin spreading over her face. ‘Sorry, but I can’t tell.’

Khalil rose on his arms above her, a wicked smile curving his mouth and glinting in his eyes. ‘What a dilemma,’ he answered softly. ‘Since I don’t seem able to tell you how I love you, then perhaps I should show you.’

And then Elena’s laughter stopped abruptly as he did precisely that—showing her with his mouth, his hands and body. And he showed her very well indeed.