Читать книгу The Mistresses Collection - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 16

EMMIE WAS CONVINCED that she could only blame herself for her predicament. Clearly, it was all her own fault, an argument her mother had been prone to making every time anything went wrong in Emmie’s life when she was a child.

Here she was, after all, decidedly the author of her own destruction: pregnant and having an affair with Bastian in a relationship that had neither rules nor safe boundaries. How sensible was that? Emmie had always liked to know where she stood, only she never had known that when it came to Bastian. That was why she was reluctant to trust him and even more reluctant to risk relying on him. And there would soon be no room for self-respect either if she was forced to start questioning him about Lilah.

The helicopter flew in low and fast and began to land. Emmie didn’t move a muscle. She did try to cross her legs casually beneath her white cotton sundress but her large tummy got in the way and she had to forget that pose. Bastian leapt from the helicopter into view, black hair ruffled by the breeze, lean powerful body taut as he strode across the lawn to join her, his striking black-fringed dark golden eyes seeking Emmie out where she sat in the shade. As always, he was gorgeous, she conceded helplessly. She had only to look at his tense bone structure to guess that he knew about the photograph and was in an understandably wary frame of mind.

‘You look so serene and beautiful sitting there, khriso mou,’ Bastian imparted huskily, his attention lingering to take in the rich golden gleam of her hair and the glow of her delicate English-rose complexion in contrast to her bright blue eyes.

‘Appearances can be deceptive,’ Emmie quipped.

‘I flew straight back when I saw that photo…I gather you’ve seen it?’ An ebony brow quirked enquiringly.

Emmie nodded, reluctantly impressed that he had jumped right into the issue without trying to avoid it or fake an innocence that she would never have believed.

‘Aside of the fact that Nessa was with me throughout the evening, the photo was a definite stitch-up,’ Bastian complained with a sardonic look. ‘Probably set up by Lilah and taken by one of her friends. Lilah revels in provoking press attention and speculation.’

Emmie parted stiff lips, her hands clasped together tightly below the level of the table. ‘You do look happy to be with her,’ she remarked flatly.

‘After the way Lilah behaved when we broke up I no longer even like her,’ Bastian countered drily. ‘But I have too much respect for her family to cut her dead in public and I see no reason to embarrass myself or her by parading our differences. If I’m happy now it’s because I have you in my life.’

‘I’d never have guessed I mattered that much to you,’ Emmie confided uncomfortably, sitting very still and unconvinced, her shoulders as rigid as her spine.

A rueful smile briefly curled Bastian’s wide sensual mouth. ‘I’m so terrified of losing you again you wouldn’t believe it.’

Emmie blinked. ‘I don’t believe it…you, terrified?’

‘Totally,’ Bastian confirmed, staring down at her from his considerable height with steady, dark, serious eyes. ‘When you went missing while I was still abroad I went crazy. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think of anything but you. And when I did get back to London I couldn’t believe that stupid note you left was all you had to say to me.’

‘I didn’t think I had anything to say to you that you had enough interest to want to hear,’ Emmie admitted uneasily. ‘I wasn’t going to hang myself out on a limb for you after you said that all we had going for us was sex.’

‘I didn’t mean that…I very much regret saying that,’ Bastian emphasised on the back of a groan. ‘But to be frank, I didn’t really appreciate what you meant to me until you vanished.’

‘Oh?’ Emmie was glued to every word falling from his lips, scarcely breathing while she listened.

Bastian leant back against one of the supporting stone pillars that held up the roof over the terrace, his gaze veiled, his lean muscular length taut with tension. ‘Then I didn’t feel anything like I should have felt for Lilah. I know that now. I shouldn’t have even considered marrying her when I felt nothing for her, but for a long time I honestly thought that that was the best way to be in a relationship.’

‘If you’re an inanimate object and not a person,’ Emmie suggested wryly.

‘I thought if there was no emotion involved I would see more clearly and choose a wife more wisely,’ Bastian confessed and then frowned, black brows lacing together. ‘And we know how well that turned out! Lilah may have wanted me mainly for my status and wealth but even she deserved better than a fiancé who couldn’t have cared less when she broke the engagement and took up with another man.’

‘But she must have known that it was more a…er practical marriage than a meeting of souls,’ Emmie commented tightly, thinking what a hypocrite she could be, for she had been wonderfully reassured by Bastian’s assurance that he didn’t even like Lilah any more and it was obvious that he could no longer see what virtues he had once assumed the other woman possessed.

‘I was never really happy with her…I didn’t stop noticing other women either,’ Bastian admitted reluctantly. ‘I didn’t do anything about it, I was faithful while I was still with her but I imagine that I would have strayed eventually.’

‘Then you weren’t right for each other.’ Emmie sighed. ‘What would have been the point of getting married?’

‘Exactly,’ Bastian agreed, shooting her a smouldering smile. ‘I’m so different with you. I don’t like other men looking at you and I certainly have no desire to look at other women. I can’t stand not knowing where you are and what you’re doing. I want to be sure you’ll answer your phone when I call. I want to know you’re living in my home and that you’ll raise our children there with me. I also want to know that you’re truly mine.’

‘Yours?’ Emmie questioned. ‘In what way do you want me to be yours?’

‘In the most basic way that a man and a woman can belong to each other,’ Bastian retorted, digging into his pocket to produce something, which he extended.

Emmie blinked at the spectacle of the huge diamond solitaire ring that he was offering her. ‘Er…what’s this?’

‘You’re bright enough to work it out,’ Bastian teased. ‘But it’s going to be the shortest engagement on record because I intend to add a wedding ring to your finger as soon as possible.’

Emmie stiffened, facial muscles setting tight. ‘I don’t want you to feel you have to marry me because it’s what your family expect of you,’ she told him squarely.

‘I knew they’d stick their oar in if they could but this has nothing to do with my family. This,’ Bastian declared, lifting her slender hand to thread the diamond ring onto her engagement finger, ‘is all about me and you and how I feel about you. I can’t stand you being away from me.’

‘Maybe you’re just possessive,’ Emmie remarked.

‘I can’t sleep when you’re not there.’

‘It’s sex you miss,’ Emmie contended heavily, refusing to be convinced by his transformation.

Bastian swore under his breath and lifted her up to face him. ‘Stop being grumpy and difficult,’ he instructed. ‘Somehow I fell madly in love with you and now you’ve become so much a part of my life that I can’t imagine it without you. It’s got nothing to do with you being pregnant either—that’s simply a wonderful added extra.’

‘An added extra?’ Emmie repeated in astonishment.

‘I love you,’ Bastian murmured intently, dark golden eyes locked strongly to hers. ‘And I finally understand how much that emotion can enrich my life.’

‘But you only hired me as an escort,’ Emmie protested. ‘If it hadn’t been me, it would have been someone else.’

‘No. You were never an escort and I’ve never been with one and now I never ever will be, khriso mou,’ Bastian declared emotively. ‘You were special and you dug your way into my heart and taught me to feel stuff I never thought I would or could experience.’

A great bubble of happiness was swelling inside Emmie and making her feel light-headed. ‘Seriously?’ she pressed.

‘Seriously,’ Bastian confirmed levelly.

‘Pride comes before a fall,’ Emmie teased with a huge grin.

‘Slow and steady wins the race,’ Bastian muttered, nuzzling his passionate mouth against her throat so that she shivered in the circle of his arms. ‘But I’m sorry I was such a slow learner.’

‘I’ll forgive you because I love you too,’ she whispered. ‘But I didn’t admit it to myself until it was almost too late because I was scared of getting too involved with you and getting hurt.’

‘I will never hurt you,’ Bastian swore huskily. ‘My ambition is to marry you and spend my life ensuring that you and our children are happy.’

Emmie linked her arms round his neck and gazed up at him with adoring eyes and a sunny smile. ‘I’m not going to complain about that. You’re going to be a fantastic father as well,’ she assured him with loving confidence.

‘Even though I’ve got no manners?’

‘Says the guy who opens doors for me all the time?’ Emmie riposted as he did exactly that with the door in front of them.

‘So you actually noticed that change in my behaviour?’ Bastian quipped. ‘Why didn’t you mention it then?’

‘Didn’t want to give you a swollen head!’ She gasped, breathless with excitement as he paused to kiss her.

‘You have to notice to encourage me, khriso mou,’ Bastian informed her raggedly, holding her tightly to him, ensuring that she was fully aware of the effect she was having on him.

‘My word, Bastian, the last thing you need from me is encouragement!’ Emmie laughed at the idea, joy sparkling through her as she wrapped her arms round him and clung to stay upright.