Читать книгу The Mistresses Collection - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 35

“I was surprised to hear you weren’t in the office today. Anything wrong?”

Zack had opened his door to find his father waiting. Without his usual untroubled smile, he stepped aside. “Just wasn’t feeling so hot.”

“You haven’t taken a day off in the whole time you’ve worked at the company.” His father stepped inside. “Maybe I should call a doctor.”

“I just needed some time…to think.”

Zack moved across the lounge room, out onto the balcony, his father right behind.

“Does this have anything to do with that young lady you were besotted with at your sister’s engagement party?”

Zack sat down at the outdoor setting. “I looked besotted?”

“At one stage, I wondered whether I was going to have to announce a second Harrison betrothal that night.”

Since seeing Trinity again, Zack thought he’d done a great job keeping his frustration, hurt, guilt, need, under control. He’d had so many short-term affairs, frankly, he’d lost count. Parting was never the highlight of any relationship, but he couldn’t recall ever having been involved long enough or deeply enough to suffer untowardly when the curtain had dropped.

Trinity was right. He was stubborn. And selfish. Intimate companionships without the demands and responsibilities had suited him down to the ground. But she was a hundred times different. A thousand. If she wasn’t he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him. He wanted to support them both, Trinity and the baby. And she’d told him to leave and never come back. God help him, she’d meant it, too.

He’d lost the only woman he’d ever really cared about and the finality in that truth was nearly driving him mad.

“I can’t see her again,” Zack growled as his father pulled up a chair, too.

“Although it’s evident you want to very much.”

Zack declined to answer. Rather, he simply gazed out over the view, imagining families enjoying Central Park on a perfect spring day, and then he wondered where Trinity and the baby were now. Whether they missed him like he missed them. But what more could he do?

His chest tightened, he clamped shut his eyes and groaned.

What the hell did she want from him?

After a time, his father spoke. “The heart’s a funny thing. There are some mighty powerful forces in this world of ours, but love beats them all, hands down.”

Zack frowned across. “Are you trying to say that you still love Mom?”

“Even if she decides it’s time to call it a day, I’ll never regret marrying her, having our family together.” He ran a finger over his graying moustache. “I’m not so young anymore. You begin to see life through a different lens when you hit sixty. Your ideas regarding success change. Some of the loneliest people in the world have bursting bank accounts.” He looked down and nodded to himself. “I often wonder where I’d be now if I hadn’t fallen so in love with your mother. I might have spent too much time away, but I was always so grateful to come home to you all. Birthdays, Christmas, all those great vacations in Colorado. Remember that old barn we spent that god-awful night in?”

Zack summoned up a smile. “I’ll never forget it.”

“When you’re counting down rather than building up, those are the times that matter, not whether or not you beat down some poor bastard in a takeover bid.”

Zack sat forward. “Were you ever afraid of becoming a father? The responsibilities, I mean.”

“Don’t know a man who isn’t. Just goes to show you’re not about to take the role lightly. Every child deserves that consideration. But if a man is fortunate enough to find his soul mate, in my opinion, he’d be a fool not to grab the whole package with open arms.”

“What if you screw up?”

“Work damn hard to make sure you don’t.”

Zack swallowed against the hollow feeling rising in his gut. “No matter how hard I work, Trinity won’t want to see me again.”

When his father sat back and thatched fingers on his lap, preparing to listen, Zack surprised himself and let the whole story out, including his offer of marriage.

“I’ve seen her angry at me, frustrated, but seeing the disappointment in her eyes that day just about killed me.”

“It’s not something that can be mended?” his father asked.

“I don’t see how.”

“Maybe the family needs to throw another engagement party soon.”

Zack tried not to sound annoyed. “Dad, I told you she’s not interested.”

“Perhaps you didn’t ask her the right way.” His father got to his feet. “You were always so sure of yourself and that largely has to do with instinct.” He clasped his son’s shoulder and squeezed. “Surrender to your instincts now and you might end up scoring the deal of your life.”