Читать книгу Best of Desire - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 30

Nine

“The other cooler has sandwiches.” Daisy was talking to all of them, but her gaze remained on Jericho as she added, “Along with potato salad, macaroni salad, fried chicken and chocolate-chip cookies.”

“Ma’am,” Justice said and swept his Stetson off as he bowed, “you are a gift from above and we thank you.”

“No pasties?” Jericho asked, voice soft enough he half didn’t expect her to hear him.

He should have known better. Her whiskey-colored gaze landed on him, but her smile was less than brilliant. Had she heard him talking to his brothers? Or was this simply a sign that she was going to miss him while he was gone?

“Pasties, too,” she said, “since I know how much you like them.”

There was one long, simmering second that flashed between them and it was as if his brothers weren’t there. As if he and Daisy were alone on the mountain. And the depth of emotion rocking through him almost choked him. He hadn’t counted on this, Jericho realized grimly. Hadn’t counted on caring for her. The need for her had been so overpowering, he hadn’t noticed when it became leavened with affection. With… Deliberately, he shut down that train of thought before it could leave the station.

He couldn’t acknowledge, even to himself, that what he was feeling for her was anything more than a softening of a heart he hadn’t realized was still there. What they shared wouldn’t last. Couldn’t.

Not only because, as he’d told his brothers, he wasn’t looking for forever. But because there was still something she didn’t know. He hadn’t told her about Brant’s last mission. Not yet. But, he told himself, that was exactly what he was going to have to do. As soon as he got back from this trip with his brothers, he’d be up-front with her. Tell her everything. Then she’d leave and things would get back to normal around here.

If he missed her the rest of his life, that was just something he’d have to deal with.

She laughed at something Jesse said and Jericho’s gaze fixed on her. Everything inside him fisted up tight. The woman hit him on so many levels he couldn’t even identify them all. He wanted her and at the same time wanted her gone. Needed her and resented that need. Cared for her, but fought against it at every breath.

How could one small, curvy woman instigate so many different emotions in a man? Especially one who’d made it his business to never feel deeply for anyone? Hell, until Daisy had stumbled into his life, the closest Jericho had come to commitment was the two weeks he’d spent at his cousin Rico King’s hotel in Cancún, with a brunette he barely remembered.

For years, he’d carefully steered clear of entanglements, firmly believing that military life wasn’t suited to hearth and home and family. He’d thought then and still did that a man served his country best when there were no other distractions in his life.

Jericho had seen too many families disintegrate under the strain of long deployments. Or worse yet, he’d seen the damage done to wives and kids when their Marine didn’t make it home. His friends had insisted that he was looking at it all wrong, of course. They claimed the strength they got from their families more than made up for the worry of leaving them. And true enough, there were plenty of military personnel who made it work, balancing career and family so well they made it look easy.

But Jericho had drawn a firm line for himself. He’d chosen to live a solitary life while in service.

What’s your excuse now? a sly voice whispered in the back of his mind. He wasn’t in the military anymore and still he kept people at a distance.

It was cleaner, he told himself. Less cluttered. Though those excuses sounded pitiful even to himself.

“So what’s the big weekend plan?” Daisy was asking and Jericho came up out of his thoughts. Before he could speak though, Jesse was talking.

“To sit beside the lake and listen to my brothers’ lies,” he told her with a wink.

“The day you close your mouth long enough to listen to anybody will be the day they open an ice rink in hell,” Justice told him, giving Jesse a friendly shove.

“Well now, you and Jericho are so damned close-mouthed, it only looks like I’m doing all the talking.” He turned his smile on Daisy again. “You can testify to that, can’t you, Daisy? Jericho’s about as talkative as a rock, wouldn’t you say?”

She turned her gaze on him and Jericho felt the solid punch of her stare. Humor shone in her eyes again as she said, “I don’t know about that. He doesn’t seem to have much trouble when he’s telling me how he wants things run around here.”

He scowled at her, but it was more for form’s sake than anything else.

“Giving orders doesn’t count,” Jesse told her, leaning one hip against the back of the truck. “Because I’m the youngest, I can tell you I’ve been taking orders from my brothers since I first opened my eyes.”

“Not that you ever follow them,” Justice reminded him and lifted the heavy cooler filled with food so easily, it might have been empty. He set it in the back of the truck and glanced at Daisy. “His wife, Bella, came to my house just looking for a little peace and quiet.”

“Ha!” Jesse laughed shortly, then got a bemused look on his face. “My Bella? Peaceful? That’ll be the day.”

“Please,” Justice said. “Your wife’s a sweetheart. You want to see a woman with a temper, you take my Maggie on in an argument. You’ll be lucky to get out with your hide still attached.”

“You’re pitching Maggie’s Irish temper against Bella’s Mexican temperament?” Jesse laughed again. “No contest, big brother. Bella’s small, but she’s tough.”

Both men continued to compare their wives, each of them sounding so damn proud of the women in their lives that Jericho felt a moment’s envy. Which was new for him. He was even tempted to jump in and tell them both that Daisy was more woman than either of their wives.

That thought startled him down to the bone. Usually, all he experienced when his brothers started talking was a pang of sympathy for the women who’d chosen to love his hardheaded brothers. Now though, since Daisy, Jericho could understand just what his brothers felt for their wives. Didn’t make him feel any better to realize it though. Instead, it seemed to solidify for him the fact that he’d let Daisy get too close.

He’d allowed her to matter.

Jericho stood to one side, his gaze still locked with Daisy’s as his brothers ragged on each other. The banter was familiar and comfortable. The only difference this time was that Daisy was here, so Jericho’s mind wasn’t really on keeping up with his brothers. Instead, all he could think was that he wished the weekend was over so that he could drag her upstairs, lock the two of them up in his room and forget about everything but her for the next twenty-four hours or so.

Yes, he’d decided to tell her everything, his mind argued, but that wasn’t saying he couldn’t have one more night with her first. If that made him a selfish bastard, then he could live with that.

“Yo, Jericho!” Jesse punched his arm. “You alive?”

“Yeah, I am, little brother,” he said, tearing his gaze from Daisy long enough to give Jesse a hard stare that had once been known to freeze Marine recruits in their tracks. Naturally enough, Jesse didn’t even flinch. Disgusted, Jericho told him, “Load up the rest of the gear so we can get moving.”

“See?” Jesse pointed out to no one, “Still giving orders.”

“You guys have fun,” Daisy said with a laugh as she headed down the back porch steps and turned for the corner of the house. “Come on, Nikki,” she called to the little dog clearly torn between walking with her or staying to stare longingly at Jericho. “I’ve got some chrysanthemums to stake. Guess I’ll see you all tomorrow night?”

“We’ll be back by supper time,” Justice assured her.

She lifted one hand and kept walking, disappearing around the edge of the log house, with the dog pausing for one backward look before joining her.

“Staking flowers?” Jesse muttered with a shake of his head as he looked after her. “Why?”

“Do I look like a gardener to you?” Jericho asked with irritation. “How the hell would I know?” He scrubbed one hand across his chin. “I didn’t even know we had chrysanthemums.”

Jesse turned to the task at hand, tossing in sleeping bags and a camp stove, then he carefully set their fishing poles into the back of the truck, too. While he worked, Jericho simply stared off into space, watching the spot where Daisy had vanished.

“Something you want to tell me?” Justice asked quietly as he stepped up alongside him.

“Huh?” Jericho started and looked at him as though he were crazy. But it wouldn’t fool Justice. He’d always been the one of them to see things no one wanted him to see. Well, except when it came to his own life. Their oldest brother Jefferson had explained to Jericho just how badly Justice had screwed up his marriage to Maggie. And how close the couple had come to losing everything that was between them.

“I’m not blind, you know,” Justice told him. “I can see how she looks at you—and just how you’re looking back.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Damn it. He should have expected this, he told himself. Of course Justice would pick up on the tensions between him and Daisy. Of course he’d notice things Jericho would rather keep under the radar.

“Yeah? Then why is it you look like a man on the ragged edge?” Justice asked. “Hell, Jericho. You finally fall for a woman and you’re not going to do anything about it?”

“Nobody fell for anybody,” he argued, distinctly uncomfortable with the conversation.

“What’s this?” Jesse sidled up alongside Justice and stuck his two cents in. “The Almighty Jericho King falling in love?” He laughed and reached out to shove Jericho’s shoulder. “This is big news, man!”

“Will you shut the hell up?” Jericho snapped, shooting a glance at the spot where Daisy had last been seen just to make sure she wasn’t in earshot. Now that Jesse had caught wind of this, there would be no keeping him quiet. “Nobody said anything about love.”

“Didn’t have to. Hell,” Justice mused, “you practically set her on fire just looking at her.”

“Lust isn’t love, in case you didn’t know that already,” he told his brothers, sparing first one, then the other of them a hard glare meant to end the conversation once and for all. Of course, it didn’t.

“It’s a good start though,” Jesse told him, his unabashed grin nearly splitting his features in two. “First time I saw Bella…” He paused for a heavily dramatic sigh, then said, “Well, not the first time. The first time, it was dark and I could hardly see her at all. The second time, she was wearing this ugly-ass tent dress, but the third time,” he mused with a grin, “that’s the one that got me.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jericho told him. “And my sympathies to your wife.”

Jesse’s eyebrows lifted as he laughed, clearly unoffended. “She loves me.”

“No accounting for taste,” Justice put in.

“Hey,” Jesse shot back, “we were ragging on Jericho, remember?”

“And now you’re done. You talk too much,” Jericho told him. “Always did. A bad habit you ought to try to break.”

“Too late now,” Jesse said with a negligent shrug. He walked back to the truck and took a seat on the tailgate. “Besides, it’s part of my charm.”

“Is that what that is?” Jericho lifted his gaze to the sky. They had a good four hours before sunset. Time enough to drive to the lake and set up camp. If he could get his brothers to back off and get moving. “So are we ready to go or what?”

“Changing the subject doesn’t make anything go away, you know.”

“I’m not changing the subject,” he said tightly, with a glare for each of his brothers. “There is no subject because I’m not talking about it at all. Not with you two. Not with anyone. Because there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Are you crazy or just stupid?” Jesse asked from his perch on the tailgate. “A woman who not only looks like that and can cook and can stand being around your crab-ass attitude for longer than five minutes and you’re not falling on your knees in front of her?”

Jericho sneered at him.

“He’s over the top again,” Justice said, with a little more heat in his voice than usual, “but Jesse’s got a point. For God’s sake, Jericho, you really want to spend the rest of your life a hermit on this mountain?”

“How am I a hermit? I’ve got people coming and going all the damn time.”

“Key word there in that sentence,” Jesse tossed in, “going.”

Jericho snapped at him. “Who asked you to talk?”

Jesse pushed off the tailgate, stood up straight to face his older brother and said, “You ever notice that your attitude gets even crappier when you’re wrong?”

“Just shut up, will you?” Jericho shook his head, looked at his more rational brother and asked, “Justice can I toss him in the lake?”

“You could try,” Jesse goaded.

“Nah,” Justice said, “Bella’d have a fit. And trust me when I say you don’t want to see that woman angry.”

“Amen,” Jesse muttered.

“Fine. No tossing in lakes, but no more ‘advice’ from you either,” Jericho said and slammed the gate of the truck shut with enough force to rattle metal.

“Fine,” Jesse agreed. “No more advice, even though you really need it.”

“Get in the truck,” Justice told him, then when Jesse was gone, he said, “He’s right, you know. About Daisy. And you. You might want to think about this before you screw something good up. I know. I damn near did the same thing myself.”

Jericho sighed, shoved one hand through his hair and said, “I’m glad you and Maggie made it work. Really. But this thing with Daisy, it’s different.”

“How?”

“There are things she doesn’t know,” Jericho said. “Things we haven’t talked about. But even discounting that…bottom line?” Jericho said with a slow shake of his head. “We’re way too different. I’m scotch, she’s wine. I’m outdoors, she’s in. Just wouldn’t work because, like it or not, she doesn’t belong here.”

* * *

Daisy bit down on her bottom lip to keep from speaking up and giving away her position. She should have known better than to stand there and listen in on Jericho and his brothers. And she really hadn’t meant to at first. But when she’d headed back for the house to get a pair of scissors to use to deadhead the flowers, she’d gotten caught back up in their conversation.

It had been fun listening to the three brothers go back and forth, making fun, teasing each other. She’d been reminded of how she and Brant had talked and laughed together, so she’d stayed hidden, enjoying the easy banter between them.

Then, when the conversation had shifted to her, she’d been too intrigued to leave.

Now, anxiety wrapped itself around her and she felt cold to the bone. She leaned back against the side of the house and curled her hands into fists at her sides. It took everything she had to stand her ground and not go rushing out into the yard, demanding that Jericho tell her what he’d been keeping from her.

What was it she didn’t know?

What was he hiding?

“And why?” she whispered, glancing briefly down at Nikki who sat, head cocked, ears lifted as if considering Daisy’s question.

But when no answers came, Daisy shifted her gaze to stare up at the sky. She didn’t see the clouds sweeping across that wide expanse. Instead, she saw Jericho’s ice-blue eyes looking down at her. In her mind’s eyes, she saw his face, emotion charging his features as he covered her body with his. As they lay together in the shadows, talking and laughing after the loving.

And she saw him now, as he’d faced Justice and said, She doesn’t belong here.

How could he still believe that? Hadn’t she made a place for herself here? Hadn’t she helped him with his clients, turned his stark, barren house into a comfortable home? Hadn’t she spent every night in his arms?

Irritation spiked inside her, warring instantly with the regret and sorrow that had her system strangling. He thought she was stubborn? They’d spent every day of the past few weeks together. Worked together. She’d gone on one survival trip with him and his clients and not only had she kept up, but she’d also handled the cooking and made the camp’s clients more comfortable. She’d proved herself, she knew she had.

Yet, he still held back.

Still stood to one side and pronounced that she didn’t fit. Didn’t belong. What would it take for him to admit that she did? Or would he, ever? If he was so determined to keep her out, would that ever change? Wasn’t she just setting herself up for disappointment and pain if she remained, waiting, hoping he’d see the light?

“This is your own fault,” she muttered as she listened to the rumble of the men’s laughter. “If you hadn’t fallen for him, then this wouldn’t matter at all. You’d simply leave as you’d planned to do in the first place and you wouldn’t have looked back.”

But that was the trouble, she told herself. She would be looking back. Always.

Jericho laughed aloud at something one of his brothers said and the rich, deep sound of it sliced into her.

Nikki whined and Daisy bent to scoop up the little dog and cuddle her close to comfort both of them. At the moment, she wanted nothing more than to walk right out there and confront Jericho. She wanted answers. She wanted him to look her in the eye and try to say she didn’t belong. That there was nothing between them.

“This shouldn’t have happened,” she told herself quietly, her voice lost in the sigh of the wind. “Daisy,” she murmured, burying her face in Nikki’s soft fur, “why did you have to fall in love with him? Why couldn’t you have just slept with him and kept your heart out of the mix?”

Too late to regret that now, she thought, as pain whipped through her. She wished she could see Jericho’s face. Would she see the lie in his eyes? Or would she see an indisputable truth written there?

But she stood her ground, because as long as he was with his brothers, it wasn’t the time to confront him. She’d only look like the fool she felt for having been caught eavesdropping on them all.

She stayed put and waited until the truck engine fired up and the three men rode off down the long drive. Only then did she come around the edge of the house to look at the fantail of dust rising up in the wake of the truck.

Her heart ached as Jericho’s words played over and over in her head. He was determined to feel nothing for her, she realized. It didn’t matter that her own feelings had grown and changed since she’d first come to King Mountain. Didn’t matter that she loved him—he wouldn’t be interested.

She wrapped her arms around herself and held on, scraping her hands up and down her upper arms in a futile attempt to beat back the rising chill inside her. Until just a few minutes ago, she hadn’t even been aware that she’d begun nursing dreams centered around Jericho. Dreams that had the two of them happily living together here on the mountain. Building a family. Raising their children and loving each other every night.

How hard it was to feel those nebulous dreams shatter and dissolve as if they’d never been. But through that pain, she managed to console herself with the fact that she’d done what she’d originally come here to do. She’d made love with Jericho King and if the gods were kind, she was already pregnant. She’d find out soon and then, while she still was able, she’d leave him here on his precious mountain and find another place to belong.

But not, she told herself, before she found out exactly what he was hiding from her.