Читать книгу Midnight Under The Stars - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 11

‘STOP the car!’ For a fleeting second she’d tried telling herself that it wasn’t worth going over this, but her emotions were too raw for that. She was so angry that all of her was shaking. Her knees. Her hands … ‘Stop the damn car, right now.’ She was out of the door before the vehicle came to a standstill and Mal was right behind her, the slam of the door breaking the stillness of the burning air.

Theirs was the only vehicle in sight. They were alone in the spectacular open space of the desert, surrounded by shimmering dunes and the soaring mountains.

‘You intend to walk from here?’

‘Is that really your recollection of events? You truly believe that you “asked” me to marry you?’ Her hair swung across her back as she turned to confront him. Her heart was racing and she felt the heat of the sun beating down on her head. She realised that she’d left her hat in the car, but it was too late to care about that now. ‘We must be existing in a parallel universe or something because I remember it very differently.’ Right now her anger was hotter than anything produced by nature but underneath that pulsing anger were layers of different emotions. Pain. Desire. Sexual awareness. Feelings. Feelings she didn’t want to feel. And he clearly didn’t either if his expression was anything to go by. He was watching her with the same cautiousness he would give an enraged scorpion.

‘Avery—’

‘And when you think about it, that’s not surprising because you never ask anyone anything, do you? You command. You order. You instruct.’ She ticked them off on her fingers while he watched with a dangerous glint in those dark eyes.

‘Are you finished?’

‘I’ve barely started. You’re so arrogant you never involve anyone else in your decisions. No wonder your virgin bride has run into the desert.’

His eyes flared dark. ‘Stop calling her that.’

‘Tell me something.’ Still shaking, Avery put her hands on her hips. ‘Did you actually ask her to marry you, Mal? Or did you just book the wedding and then mention it to her in passing? Perhaps that’s what’s wrong here. Perhaps no one remembered to tell her she was supposed to be getting married. Did you miss her off the invitation list?’

A muscle flickered in his bronzed cheek. ‘I’m the first to admit that my proposal to you went awry, but there were circumstances—’

‘Awry? It didn’t go “awry”, Mal. It didn’t happen. There was no proposal. There was just assumption. Lots of arrogant assumption.’ All the anger and humiliation came piling back on top of her. And the terror. She’d almost lost everything. All of it. Everything she’d worked for. ‘You assumed I was a sure thing. That of course I’d say yes to you because who wouldn’t? You were so sure of yourself you didn’t even pause to think about my needs, and you were so sure of me you didn’t even bother to ask my opinion on the topic. And there are no circumstances that can explain or excuse your arrogance!’

‘And if there were, you wouldn’t listen to them.’

‘The first I knew of your “proposal” was not when you and I had a private moment during which you asked me if I’d consider marrying you, but when one of my biggest clients rang to cancel his contract with me because he’d heard that I was no longer going to be running my company. When I asked him where that rumour had originated, he told me that he’d heard it from you. That you’d told him that once you married me I would no longer be taking on more business. Because of you, I lost clients. I could have lost the whole business. My business. The business I built from nothing.’ The thought of how close she’d come to losing everything that mattered to her sent her spiralling into panic. ‘That is what our “romance” did for me. And you wonder why I’m not romantic?’

There were lines of strain visible around his sensual mouth. ‘That is not what I said to him.’

‘Then what did you say to him because he was pretty sure of his facts when he took his business elsewhere. Important business, I might add. Business that would have led to more business. Instead I found myself explaining to some very confused people why I wasn’t getting married.’

His eyes were a dark, dangerous black. ‘And in doing so you humiliated me.’

‘No, you humiliated me, Mal! You made me look like some brainless, witless woman who was just waiting for a rich, handsome Prince to come along and rescue her from her sad life. All those times you said you loved me for who I was. You said you loved my independence and my strength. And then you cut me off at the knees. Did you really think I’d just give up my business and marry you?’

‘I thought you’d trust me. We’d been together for a year,’ he said in a thickened tone. ‘We were happy together.’

‘We were happy until you tried to take over my life. “Once we’re married she won’t have time to run your parties.” Wasn’t that what you said to him?’

There was a tense silence. ‘Yes. But there were reasons—’

‘Yes, and we both know what those reasons were. You have to be in control. You’ve been giving orders since you were old enough to put two words together and you don’t know any different. The problem is, I’m not great at taking orders, Mal. I like to run my own life. In fact, I insist on it. Damn it, why are we even having this conversation?’ Furious to feel her eyes stinging, she stomped back to the car but as she touched the door handle his hand covered hers. ‘Get away from me. It’s my turn to drive.’

‘This conversation isn’t finished.’

‘It is as far as I’m concerned.’

‘What happened with Richard Kingston was a mis-judgement on my part, I admit it. But there were circumstances—’

‘There isn’t a single circumstance that would successfully excuse a man discussing his marital intentions with everyone before the woman he intended to marry.’ She felt the warmth of his hand, the strength of those fingers as they stayed in contact with hers and forced herself to pull away.

‘Are you crying?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve got sand in my eyes. This is a very sandy place.’

‘You’re wearing sunglasses.’

‘Well, clearly they’re not very efficient.’ Furious and miserable, Avery pulled open the door and slid inside. Her heart was pounding, her control shredded and her emotions raw. Why on earth had she decided to put herself through this? And in the desert. A place so closely entwined with her relationship with Mal that she wasn’t even able to look at a picture of it without feeling sad.

On her first visit to Zubran she’d fallen in love. Twice. First with the country; with the contrast between stunning beaches and the wild beauty of the ever-changing dunes. Second, with the man. And somehow the two had become inextricably linked so that she couldn’t imagine one without the other. He was part of this wild place and part of the place existed within him, had bred the strength and resilience that formed that steel core of his personality.

Her feelings for him had terrified her and they terrified her still. And yes, that was why she’d done nothing but snap at him from the moment she’d got into the vehicle. The alternative was allowing that dangerous chemistry to take hold and she couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t do that.

Avery tightened her fingers on the wheel as she drove, every tiny part of her alive with awareness despite all her efforts.

Next to her in the passenger seat, Mal sat sprawled, beautiful eyes narrowed behind sunglasses as he stared ahead.

She was silent and so was he, but that silence did nothing to defuse the tension.

An hour passed.

And another hour.

Neither of them spoke a word. And she was relieved to be driving. Relieved to have something to focus on other than him. Except that it didn’t work like that, of course, because no matter how much she focused on the road, she was still aware of him, right there beside her. Within touching distance, except that she wasn’t allowed to touch. And awareness grew and grew until the air was almost too thick to breathe. Until the desire to touch him was almost overwhelming and she had to grip the wheel until her knuckles were white with the pressure.

This was why she wanted his marriage to go ahead, she thought savagely. Because only then would he be out of her head and out of her heart. She wasn’t the sort of woman who could hold onto feelings for a married man. That would be it. She could get back to a normal life.

After what felt like hours of silence, he finally spoke. ‘We’ll camp by those rocks up ahead.’ His tone was neutral. Devoid of emotion. ‘They should offer some protection from the elements.’

She didn’t need protecting from the elements. She needed protection from him. Or was it herself? She was no longer sure.

Confused and jittery, Avery parked and sprang from the vehicle. ‘You can camp by that rock and I’ll camp by the other.’ Distance, she thought. She needed distance. They needn’t even see each other until morning. She’d zip her tent up and she’d keep it zipped.

‘There is just one tent, Avery.’

‘What?’ His words blew out the foundations of her fledgling plan and answered any remaining questions she had about her feelings for him. ‘Just one? Why?’

‘Why does that matter?’ He seemed unusually interested in her reaction and she pushed away disturbing images of his muscle-packed length stretched next to hers.

‘Well, for a start, it isn’t exactly the done thing for a man to sleep with one woman when he is engaged to marry another. And then there’s always the chance that I’ll kill you in my sleep.’ If she slept. Which seemed unlikely.

‘I don’t intend to sleep with you.’ He leaned in and pulled a bag from the vehicle. ‘Just share a tent with you. It isn’t as if we haven’t done it before.’

But the last time they’d been lovers. Intimate in every way. They were both hot-tempered and stubborn and those traits had simply intensified the sexual connection between them.

Avery watched as he hauled the tent and the gear from the vehicle. ‘Why didn’t you bring two tents?’

‘I wasn’t expecting company. If you recall, you were the one who insisted on coming. Having already spread the word that I wanted a couple of nights in the desert alone, I could hardly articulate the need for a second tent.’ He focused his attention on creating their camp and she forced herself to help, even though doing so brought her into close proximity with him. She tried to subdue the choking, panicky feeling in her chest at the thought of sharing that confined space with him.

He’d be sleeping with his head next to hers. His body within touching distance.

She looked at his shoulders and immediately looked away again.

What if she had one of her nightmares? What if she reached for him in her sleep?

Making a mental note to lie on her hands and stay awake until he was asleep, she helped secure the tent, working without speaking. And it was exasperating to discover that he was as competent at this as he was at everything else.

Avery gritted her teeth. She wasn’t looking for things to admire about him. She didn’t want to admire him. Not when they were about to spend a night crammed into a relatively small space.

At least it wasn’t cold. She’d stay outside until the last possible moment before going into the tent. With luck, he’d be asleep by the time she joined him.

‘Nice to know you can function without staff.’ She watched as he lit a fire and proceeded to cook their supper. He’d thrown a rug on the ground and she knelt on it, watching as the flames flickered to life. ‘So we should reach the oasis tomorrow? What if she isn’t there?’

‘I think she will be.’

‘You could have just asked your security team to check it out.’

‘If I’d done that it would have been impossible to keep this situation contained. I want to keep this as quiet as possible.’

‘To protect your ego.’

‘To protect my bride, at least until I’ve decided how best to sort this out.’ He cooked without fuss, lamb with spices chargrilled over the open flame and served with rice. And because she was trying hard to make the whole experience less intimate she insisted on cooking her own, even though she did nowhere near as good a job as he did.

She burned the edges but still it tasted good and Avery ate hungrily until she caught him looking at her. Immediately her appetite vanished, as if someone had flicked a switch.

‘What? It’s delicious.’

‘It’s hardly gourmet. You eat in five star restaurants all the time and fly in celebrity chefs to cater for your parties.’

‘Yes, but that’s my work. This is different. There’s something about food eaten outdoors in the desert. I’ve always loved it here.’ Immediately she regretted saying it out loud because everything she’d loved about the desert was entwined with everything she loved about him. Not love. She corrected herself quickly. Felt. Everything she loved about the desert was entwined with everything she felt about him.

Because she knew he was looking at her, she kept her eyes on the view and that was no hardship because she could have stared for hours at the desert landscape that altered minute by minute under the fading light. The area he’d picked for camping was rocky, but they were still on the border with Zubran and dunes rose ahead of her, dark gold under the setting sun, the beauty of it holding her captivated until the sun dipped behind a mound and darkness quickly spread over the desert.

Grateful for that darkness, she lifted her eyes to the sky and picked a neutral topic. ‘Why do the stars always seem so much brighter out here?’

‘Less pollution.’ His tone short, he rose to his feet, doused the fire and gestured to the tent. ‘We need to get some rest. I’d like to leave at dawn.’

So he didn’t want to linger any more than she did. Didn’t want to prolong the time they spent together. The knowledge should have brought a feeling of relief but instead she just felt hollow and numb.

‘Dawn is fine with me.’ Anything that meant less time in the tent with him had to be good.

She wiped her bowl clean, nibbled on one of the dates he’d left out on a plate and tried not to think about their first trip into the desert together. It had been at the beginning of their relationship, during those heady first months when they’d been consumed by their feelings for each other. He’d been so frustrated by the unrelenting demands on his time and privacy that he’d arranged a secret trip. They’d joked that he’d kidnapped her, but really they’d stolen time away, as normal couples did all the time. He’d dismissed his security team. She’d left her phone behind. It was the first time they’d really been on their own, away from the craziness of his existence and the craziness of hers.

It had been the happiest week of her life.

Thinking about it now brought a lump to her throat. The ache in her chest felt like a solid lump and she sneaked a glance towards him, only to find him watching her, that dark gaze fiercely intense.

‘Say it.’

‘Say what?’

‘Say what you are thinking.’

Avery swallowed. ‘What am I thinking?’

‘You are thinking of that week we spent together. Just the two of us.’ His voice was rough and suddenly she couldn’t breathe and the panic pressed down on her because that was exactly what she’d been thinking.

‘Actually I was thinking how bleak it is here.’

His expression told her that he didn’t believe her but he didn’t push her. Instead he turned away, leaving her feeling more vulnerable than she ever had before.

Now what?

Not speaking about her feelings didn’t change the fact they existed. And the thought of going into that tent—of being so close to him—kept her sitting outside long after she should have gone inside. She postponed the moment as long as possible. Postponed the moment when they’d be forced together in that cramped, confined space that was designed to force intimacy even between two people who were avoiding it.

Would she have insisted on joining him if she’d known about the sleeping arrangements? No, probably not. Self-preservation would have outweighed the guilt she felt towards Kalila.

Kalila. He was going to marry Kalila.

She had no idea how long she sat there. Time blurred. Misery deepened. Fatigue, the mortal enemy of optimism, caught up with her.

‘Avery? You need to come inside the tent now. It’s dark.’ His voice was deep and sexy and she squeezed her eyes closed and tried to block out the images created by that voice.

‘I’m not afraid of the dark.’

‘No, you are afraid of intimacy, but intimacy is not on offer so you are perfectly safe in this tent with me.’

‘I’m not afraid of intimacy.’

‘Good. In that case, get in this tent before you become a tasty snack for a desert creature. Unless you’d rather I pick you up and put you here myself?’

That would be the worst of all options. She didn’t want him to touch her but she knew he would make good on his threat if she didn’t move, so she put her hand down on the rug to lever herself up and felt a sharp pain. ‘Ow.’ She snatched her hand away and there was a scuttling sound. ‘What—? Ugh, Mal, something just bit me. And it rattles.’

He was by her side in an instant. The torch flashed and a scorpion scuttled under the rug.

‘Not a rattlesnake—a scorpion. Good.’

‘Good? Why is it good? From where I’m sitting it’s seriously creepy. If we were playing “marry, kiss or push off a cliff”, the scorpion would be the one off the cliff, I can tell you that.’ Her voice rose and she hugged her hand to her chest. ‘Are there any more out here?’

‘Hundreds, probably. They come out at night.’

‘Hundreds?’ Horrified, she sprang at him, clinging like a monkey. ‘Don’t put me down.’

‘Avery—’

‘Whatever you do, don’t put me down. I’m never touching the floor again. Do you seriously mean hundreds? Please tell me you’re kidding.’

She’d forgotten how strong he was. His arms closed around her, strong, protective. She thought he might have been laughing but told herself he wouldn’t dare laugh at her.

‘I thought you were fine with desert wildlife.’

‘I’m fine with the theory. Not so good with the reality when it closes its jaws on me. And if you dare laugh I will kill you, Your Highness. Just a warning.’

‘I’m not laughing. But I’m not going to let you forget this in a hurry.’

‘I just bet you’re not.’ She buried her face in his neck, wondering why he had to smell so good.

‘It’s worth savouring. The moment Avery Scott became a damsel in distress.’

‘No one will ever believe you and I will deny it until my dying breath, which may be soon if there are truly hundreds of those things out there. I’m not distressed. More freaked out. I can tell you this is the first time in my life I’ve jumped on a man.’

‘I’m flattered you chose me,’ he drawled. ‘As a matter of interest, are you going to let go?’

‘Are they still out there?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then I’m not letting go. You threatened to carry me to the tent. Go ahead.’ She tightened her grip and he gave a soft curse.

‘You’re choking me.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘If I die, you fall to the ground and they’ll swarm all over you.’

‘You have a sick sense of humour.’ But she loosened her grip. ‘Move, Mal! I want to be in the tent.’

‘Damsels in distress don’t usually give the orders. And I was in the tent. You were the one who chose scorpions over my company. Are you telling me that you’re rethinking that choice?’

‘Don’t be flattered. All it means is that you’re better than a scorpion. Don’t make me beg.’ She clung, her hands pressed to those solid shoulders. ‘Are you laughing?’

‘No.’

‘Good, because if you were laughing, I’d have to punch you with my good hand. My other hand hurts. Am I going to die?’

‘It is rare for scorpion bites to cause fatalities.’

‘Rare? So that means that sometimes people die, right?’

His hesitation was brief. ‘Yes, but it’s usually only in the very young or in people with health issues and you don’t fall into either category.’

‘That’s not very reassuring. You’re supposed to say, “No, Avery, of course you’re not going to die.” Why don’t men ever know the right thing to say at the right moment?’

‘If men said the right thing at the right moment, we’d be women.’ He ducked inside the tent, lowered her onto a sleeping roll he’d laid out for himself and gently detached himself from her grip. The movement brought their faces very close together. She could feel his breath on her cheek. All she had to do was turn her head and their mouths would meet. And she didn’t have to wonder how that would feel because she knew. And he knew, too.

Their eyes met and she saw the heat in his and knew he would see the same in hers because the chemistry was there, as powerful as ever. It sucked at her stomach and brushed over her skin, making her crave the impossible. She hadn’t kissed a man since him and she missed him terribly.

It was a dangerous moment and it felt as if it lasted for ever. In reality it was less than a couple of seconds and she was about to push him away when he turned away from her, suddenly brisk and efficient.

‘Do you normally react to bee stings or wasp stings?’

The only thing she reacted to was him.

Her mouth was so dry it felt as if she’d fallen face down in the desert. ‘I have no idea. I’ve never been stung by either before.’ The chemistry between them had shaken her almost as much as the scorpion bite. She felt vulnerable, and she hated feeling vulnerable. The last time she’d felt like this was when they’d split up.

‘How are you feeling?’

‘My hand throbs.’ She squinted down at it and he hesitated for a moment and then slid back the sleeve of her shirt and studied it under the light. His fingers were strong and firm and she had to concentrate on keeping still. On not responding.

He wasn’t hers any more. And she wasn’t his.

Avery stared at his bent head; at the glossy dark hair that flopped over his forehead. She knew exactly how it would feel if she sank her hands into it because she’d done that. She’d trailed her mouth over his skin and tasted him. Everywhere.

As if feeling her thoughts, he lifted his head and she jerked back slightly, feeling guilty even though all she’d done was look.

The man was marrying Kalila. The fact that they seemed to barely know each other wasn’t her business. The fact that Kalila had run away wasn’t her business.

Studying her hand, he muttered something under his breath. ‘I should have used the ultraviolet torch out there.’

‘And how would that have helped?’

‘There is a compound in the exoskeleton of the scorpion that causes it to glow in UV light.’ He adjusted the light to get a better look. ‘It means that we can see where they are. They show up as a ghostly green colour.’

Avery looked away so that she couldn’t see his hand touching hers. Bronze against creamy white. Male against female. ‘That is disgusting. How do you even know these things?’

‘This is my country. It is my business to know.’

‘Ghostly green scorpions.’ She shuddered. ‘I’m almost glad I couldn’t see them. Remind me why I came?’

‘Because you wanted to help Kalila. Tell me how badly it hurts.’

‘I don’t know—worse than a headache, better than the time I bounced off the trampoline and smashed my head on the floor of the school gym. Do you mind not frowning? Frowning means you’re worried or that there is something seriously wrong. By the way, my hand feels as if it’s on fire. Is that OK?’

Mal’s mouth tightened. ‘I should have made you come into the tent sooner.’

‘I didn’t want to do that.’

‘And we both know why.’

There it was again. The chemistry that neither of them wanted.

‘Let’s not go there.’

‘No.’ There was a ripple of exasperation in his voice. ‘But from now on you are by my side the whole time, no matter how uncomfortable that makes you feel. Stay there a moment and don’t move. I’ll be back soon.’

‘You’re leaving?’ Without thinking, she reached out and grabbed his arm. ‘Where are you going?’ Realising what she’d just done, she let her hand drop. God, what was the matter with her? She was having a complete character transformation.

‘To the car to get some ice.’ He watched her, his expression revealing that he was every bit as surprised as she was. Reaching down, he closed his hand over her shoulder. ‘You will be fine, habibti.’

Habibti.

Shock held her still because the last time he’d called her that, they’d been in bed together. Naked. Her legs tangled with his. His mouth hard on hers.

And he must have been experiencing the same memory because his eyes darkened and his gaze slid slowly to her mouth and then back to her eyes. Their whole past was in that one look.

This time she was the one to look away first.

‘You’re right. Of course I’ll be fine,’ she said quickly. ‘I was just—’ Clinging. Like a desperate female. She, who had never clung to anyone or anything before in her life, had clung. She didn’t even want to think about what that would do to his macho ego. And she certainly didn’t want to think about what it did for her reputation.

Horribly embarrassed, Avery shifted back as far as she could. ‘Go and get the ice. Make sure you bring a bottle of Bollinger with it. And tell the scorpions to dine elsewhere. I’m no longer on the menu.’

‘Are you sure you’ll be all right? Only a moment ago you were clinging to me.’

‘Clinging?’ Her attempt at light-hearted laughter was relatively convincing. ‘I was just trying to avoid being bitten by another scorpion. I’d rather they bit you than me.’

‘Thanks.’

‘If there had been a boulder handy, I would have stood on that. Anything to get above ground level. Don’t take it personally. Now go. I’m thirsty.’

It was the first time he’d seen her lower her guard, even briefly.

And he’d lowered his guard too and called her habibti and that single word had shifted the atmosphere. He didn’t know whether to be amused or offended that she considered him a bigger threat to her well-being than the scorpion.

Relieved, he thought grimly as he remembered the way he’d felt when she’d wrapped her arms around his neck. Unlocking the door, he removed ice and the first aid kit he carried everywhere, trying to block out the way it had felt to hold her. She was slender, leggy … and she’d lost weight.

Was that because of him?

No. That would mean she cared and he knew she didn’t care.

He stood for a moment, listening to the sounds of the desert and the disturbing notes of his own thoughts. Then he cursed softly and slammed the door.

Inside the tent, she was sitting quietly. She looked shaken and a little pale but he had no way of knowing whether her reaction was a result of the scorpion bite or the pressure of being in such close contact with him.

Trying to concentrate on the scorpion bite and nothing else, Mal pressed ice to her burning hand and she flinched.

‘Only you can produce ice in a desert.’

‘I have a freezer unit in the vehicle.’ And right at that moment he was working out ways to sit in it. Anything to cool himself down.

‘Of course you do,’ she murmured, ‘because a Prince cannot be without life’s little luxuries, even in this inhospitable terrain.’

‘I suppose I should be relieved that you’re feeling well enough to aggravate me.’

‘I really don’t need ice. You’re hot, Your Highness, but not that hot.’ But despite her flippant tone her cheeks were flushed. Was it the effects of the bite?

‘Tell me how you are feeling.’ And suddenly he realised just how bad this could be. They were miles from civilization. Even if he called a helicopter, it wouldn’t arrive within an hour. He told himself that she was fit and healthy and not in any of the high-risk groups, but still anxiety gnawed at him because he knew that for some people the bite of the scorpion could be deadly. ‘I don’t carry anti-venom.’

‘Well, thank goodness for small mercies because there is no way I’d let you jab me with a needle and inject me with more poison.’ She flinched as he moved the ice. ‘That is freezing. Are you trying to give me frostbite?’

‘I’m trying to stop the venom spreading. Does it hurt?’

‘Not at all. I can’t even feel it.’ It was obvious that she was lying and he threw her a look.

‘You are the most exasperating, infuriating woman I’ve ever met.’

‘Thank you.’ She smiled and that smile snagged his attention.

‘What makes you think it was a compliment?’

‘I take everything as a compliment unless I’m told otherwise. Am I going to die?’

‘No.’ Hiding his concern, he put his hand on her forehead. ‘We need to get your clothes off.’

Her eyes flew open. ‘You’re warped, do you know that?’

‘This isn’t seduction. This is first aid.’ And he didn’t want to think about seduction. He didn’t dare. His hands were firm as they stripped off her clothes and she made a feeble attempt to stop him.

‘I can’t let you see me naked.’

‘I’ve already seen you naked on many occasions.’ Too many occasions. She was the hottest, most beautiful woman he’d ever met and he didn’t need to be in this position to be reminded of that fact.

‘That was different. You weren’t about to marry another woman. I don’t get naked with almost married men.’ She snatched at the sleeping bag and he let her cover herself but not before he’d caught a tantalizing glimpse of creamy skin. A glimpse that tested his self-control more than it had ever been tested before.

It was a struggle to focus on what he was doing. ‘I have to cool you down and you need to stop snuggling inside that sleeping bag because you’re overheating.’ He poured cool water on a cloth and held it against her head. ‘Females tend to have a more severe reaction because of their body mass.’

There was a dangerous gleam in her eyes. ‘Are you calling me fat?’

‘Did I mention the word fat?’

‘You said “mass”. Don’t use the word “mass” in relation to my body.’

‘Even if I tell you it’s because you have a smaller body mass?’ He didn’t want to be amused. He didn’t want to feel anything for this woman. ‘Be silent. You need to rest.’

‘I can’t rest with you this close.’

He rubbed his fingers over his forehead, exhausted by the drain on his self control. It was fortunate that both of them were too principled to give in to it.

‘I’m watching you for any adverse reaction.’

‘Well, stop watching me. It feels creepy.’ She rolled onto her side, but a moan escaped her. ‘How long am I going to feel like this, Mal?’ The tremor in her voice concerned him more than anything because he knew how tough she was.

‘You feel bad?’

‘No, I feel great.’ Her words were muffled by the pillow. ‘I just want to know how long this great feeling is going to last so that I can make the most of it. How long?’

‘Hours, habibti.’ He hesitated for a moment and then allowed himself to stroke her hair away from her face, telling himself that touching her was all about comfort and nothing else. ‘Possibly a bit longer.’

‘I was stupid. You must be furious with me.’

If only. ‘I’m not furious.’

‘Then try harder. It would make it easier if you were furious.’

Mal gave a cynical smile because right at that moment he doubted anything would make it easier. He placed his fingers on her wrist. ‘Your pulse is very fast.’

‘Well, that’s nothing to do with you, so don’t go flattering yourself. Scorpions always get me going.’

‘It’s the venom. You need to tell me how you’re feeling. If necessary I’ll call the helicopter and have us airlifted out of here.’

‘No way. We need to find your virgin bride.’

Mal cursed under his breath and reached into his first aid kit for a bandage. ‘Stop calling her that.’

‘Sorry.’ She turned slightly, opened one eye and peeped at him. ‘Are you angry yet?’

‘No, but I’m getting there. Keep it up.’

She grinned weakly. ‘I bet the scorpion is angry, too. I flung him across the ground. Horrible creature.’

‘Actually they play a critical role in the ecosystem, consuming other arthropods and even mice and snakes.’

‘Too much information.’

‘They can control how much poison they inject into you. I think you got away lightly.’

‘So does that mean he liked me or he didn’t like me? Ow—now what are you doing?’

‘I’m bandaging the bite and lifting your arm. I want to slow the spread of the venom. If this doesn’t work, I’ll have to call the helicopter.’

‘Could we stop calling it venom? And honestly, Mal, it’s fine. Stop fussing. Can we take the ice off now? It’s cold.’

‘That’s the idea.’

‘Scorpions don’t like their food chilled?’

But she didn’t feel cold to touch. She was boiling-hot and her arm was burning. ‘Have you ever suffered an allergic reaction to anything in the past?’

‘No, nothing. I’m as healthy as a horse.’

Mal felt a rush of exasperation that they hadn’t avoided this situation. ‘Why didn’t you come into the tent sooner?’

‘Because then we would have killed each other.’ Her response was glib, but her smile faltered. ‘Sorry. And this time I really am apologising.’

‘Apologising for what? For being aggravating? That is nothing new and you’ve never felt the need to apologise before.’

‘For messing everything up,’ she muttered. ‘For making things harder for you. I shouldn’t have come on this trip. I was worried about Kalila and I thought I could help but I haven’t helped and it was all my fault anyway.’ Her apology was as sweet as it was unexpected and he felt something squeeze inside his chest.

‘I am touched that you cared enough to come,’ he breathed. ‘And you will be able to talk to Kalila and persuade her to confide in you, which is important given that I have failed so miserably to deliver in that area.’ And he blamed himself for that. For being unapproachable, for assuming that just because his bride to be hadn’t said anything, it meant that everything was fine.

They had no relationship, he thought bleakly, and it was impossible not to compare that with the feelings he and Avery shared.

‘You’ll make a perfect couple. I’m sure you’ll be very happy. And I mean that. I’m not being sarcastic. She’s very sweet and she won’t drive you crazy. That’s always good in a marriage.’ Her voice was barely audible and she turned her head, the movement dislodging her hair from the plait. It poured over her shoulders like honey and he stared down at the silken mass, fighting the urge to sink his hands into it. Once, he’d had the right to do that. And he’d done it. All the time. It had been the most physical relationship of his life.

‘Right now I am not thinking of Kalila.’

‘Don’t, Mal.’ Her voice was muffled. ‘Don’t do this.’

Was this the moment to be honest? He hesitated, wrenched apart by the conflict between duty and his own needs. And honesty would just worsen the situation, wouldn’t it? ‘This marriage with Kalila—’

‘Will be good. If she’s having second thoughts then it’s because you haven’t tried hard enough. You can be charming when you want to be. Of course the rest of the time you’re aggravating and arrogant, but don’t show her that side of you for a while and it will be fine.’ Her eyes were closed, her eyelashes long and thick against her pale cheeks.

Mal stared down at her, unable to think of a single time when he’d seen Avery vulnerable. It just wasn’t a word he associated with her. But tonight—yes, tonight she was vulnerable. He wanted to hold her but he didn’t dare take the risk. He wasn’t convinced he’d let her go.

Instead he settled for sitting close to her. ‘Tell me why you avoided my calls.’ Still worried about the bite, he tightened the bandage as much as he dared.

‘I was super-busy.’

‘You are the most efficient woman I know. If you’d wanted to answer my calls, you could have done. When we parted company I thought we would remain friends.’ He should have been thinking about his bride-to-be, but all he could think about was the relationship he’d lost.

‘I’m too busy for friends. About this scorpion—’ as always when a subject became uncomfortable, she shifted direction ‘—he only bit me once. Should I be offended? Does that mean he didn’t like the way I tasted? Or am I like expensive caviar—better consumed in small amounts?’

He didn’t want to think about the way she tasted. Couldn’t allow himself to. Frustration made his voice rougher than he intended. ‘I am going to give you a couple of tablets and then you’re going to rest.’ And stop talking.

‘I don’t take tablets. I’m a drug-free zone.’

‘You’ll take these. And if the rash on your arm hasn’t calmed down in an hour or so, I’m going to fly you out of here.’ And maybe that would be the best thing for both of them. Reaching into his bag, he found the tablets in the supplies he carried and handed them to her with a drink of water, relieved when she swallowed the pills without question or argument but at the same time concerned because it was so unlike her not to question and argue. ‘If you feel bad, I can call the helicopter now.’

‘No.’ Her eyes drifted shut again. ‘I want to stay. I need to be with you.’

The atmosphere snapped tight. Mal felt a weight on his chest. How many times had he waited for her to say those words? And she said them now, when his life was already set on a different course. Was that why she’d picked this moment? Because she knew he couldn’t act on the emotion that simmered between them? I need to be with you. From any other woman those words would have felt oppressive. From Avery they felt like victory. A victory that was too little, too late. ‘You need to be with me? You are telling me this now?’

‘Yes.’ Her voice was barely audible. ‘I need to be there when you find her. I need to talk Kalila into marrying you. It’s the best thing for all of us.’