Читать книгу The Sheikh's Reluctant Queen - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 16

“Marriage!”

Laylah’s incredulity echoed in the huge room as she scrambled up from Rashid’s embrace.

She gaped at him as he, too, rose to a sitting position, totally uncaring of his nakedness, or the fact that he was still gloriously aroused. Or maybe he always woke up in the morning like that…?

Focus, moron. Not the time to be drooling over his assets or reliving what he’d done to her with them when he’d just said… said…

“Marriage!”

The word rang out again before she could hold it back.

But who could blame her? Yesterday, she’d woken up never expecting to see Rashid again. Today she woke up in his bed, and he was already talking…

No! She wasn’t going to squeak it out again.

His hand reached out to smooth a long tress off her hot, damp cheek. “Of course. I took your innocence and I don’t—”

“Don’t.” His words hit her like a bucket of ice water in the face. Embarrassed at her nakedness all of a sudden, she groped for the covers she’d kicked to the bottom of the mattress a lifetime ago. “Just don’t even start on that.”

Having Rashid in her life at all was a miracle. Having Rashid as her husband was beyond imaginable. But she was damned if she’d let this progress to a bona fide offer based on that reason.

“You didn’t ‘take my innocence’, I gave it to you. And will you stop being so archaic and so—so… Azmaharian? Innocence, indeed. So now I’m, what, because you’ve ‘taken’ it—wicked?”

The eyes that had hardened and cooled with her every word suddenly softened, heated. “Indeed. But then, you were already that as an innocent. Now the mind boggles at what levels of devastation you’ll attain in your… newly forged wickedness.”

Heat splashed through her as she remembered in detail how he’d… forged said wickedness inside her…

Catching her swollen-from-his-passion-and-stinging-for-more lip in her teeth and letting the cover go, she leaned to rub her face against his chest. “Why don’t we find out?”

He caught her by the shoulders as her lips strayed over his flesh, held her off, his smile filling with indulgence. “We will. We have a lifetime to make extensive explorations of every iota of your potential for sensual mayhem.”

There he went again, talking about lifetimes. Nothing she wanted more than to have several of those entwined with him, but not if it was prodded by his outdated sense of honor.

She pulled back, this time wrapping the cover around her. “Listen, Rashid, I already told you in embarrassing detail how I had this hopeless passion for you. It turns out I didn’t have a clue what passion was all about, something you’ve rectified with enough clues to fill this place. If I thought I wanted you before, now I know, and just how fiercely and totally. If you want me with anything approaching that ferocity and totality, then there’s nothing more that I want than to be with you. Just not ‘through marriage.’“

And she realized the real meaning of yet another word. Ominous. That had to be what defined that scowl.

“You’re refusing to marry me?”

Her heartstrings shook at the darkness in his rumble. “I’m refusing to introduce the concept of ‘marriage’ at this point.”

And if displeasure could take form, it would wear just that face, and lash out with that solar-flare-level glare. “Marriage between us now is not a concept, it’s a necessity.”

“Oh, please, not the ‘innocence’ thing again. I wasn’t saving it for an eventual groom and you did not come and ‘take advantage’ of my ‘vulnerability’ and now you don’t have to offer yourself at the altar of honor and propriety!”

“You were saving it. If you don’t subscribe to our region’s values, why else are you—were you—still a virgin at this age?”

“Gah… at this age? Et tu, Brute?”

“Laylah!”

His warning growl was the essence of deliciousness. She grinned into his stern eyes. “I do subscribe to some regional values, but certainly not this one. So I’ll refer you to my previous confession for the answer to this question and every other you have now or might have in the future.”

“What confession?”

“Do you forget it every time I say it? That I wanted you all my life, of course. What other confession did I make?”

“I remember a night-long medley of revelations.”

She nudged him playfully in the ribs. “Admit it, I’m entertaining.” A twitch almost undid his lips’ disapproving rigidity. Her grin widened. “As for finding me in mint condition at this advanced age, it’s only because I wasn’t about to jump in bed with anyone else when all I wanted was you. You could say I was pointlessly saving it for you. So when fate provided both you and a bed, well—you have firsthand experience with how things progressed. Terminally chivalrous, you did your level best to ward me off, to make me back down. But I left you nowhere to run.”

“I’ve beaten back armies, pulverized my way out of sieges in war zones—on front lines, in boardrooms and in the market. The only reason I didn’t ‘ward you off’ was because I didn’t want to. Because I wanted you so much, I didn’t even stop when I found out you were—yes, here it comes again—an innocent.”

Her heart tap-danced at the momentous confession. That she’d been the one thing Rashid hadn’t been able to resist, and his desire for her the one thing he hadn’t been able to conquer.

Her grin grew teasing, even as her eyes filled with joy. “Take heart. By the time you found out, I was no longer any such thing. But how can you compare me to armies and adversaries? Their attacks only made you stronger, made beating them that much easier. Against my desire, you didn’t have a prayer.”

His grimness deepened as he exhaled. “You got that right. I was never exposed to anything like you. I didn’t know anything like you existed. You… overpower me.”

She fell back on her heels, rocked to her core. That confession was more than huge. It was historic.

But the way he’d said it… “You—you resent that?”

His focus sharpened on her. “No.” The force of his denial defused her rising anxiety. “But… it’s something I have no experience with. I could never abide accepting anything from anyone. Then you come along…” His hand traveled up her arm to her neck then her cheek, cupping it. “The way you want me, what you give me and how much I want it and you—it’s so unknown, I have no idea how to handle it.”

“You’ve handled it all flawlessly so far.” She threw herself at him, hugged him with all her strength. “But if you feel as shaken to your core as I do, are no longer sure if you’re coming or going like I am, that’s all the more reason to take it slowly and not jump into something as big as marriage.” She raised her face to his. “How about we take it one day at a time? And after a reasonable time—let’s say a month, if you can still stand me—you can bring up marriage again?” She pinched his hard cheek. “And if that comes to pass, I’d appreciate an offer, not a decree.”

He arched an eyebrow adamantly. “I won’t wait a month. Not even a day, if it means I won’t have you in my bed in the interim.”

“Bed? What bed?” She chuckled at the lion’s rumble that reverberated in his gut and melted back against him, indulgence turning her to goo. “Down boy. I wouldn’t dream of staying out of your… mattress. In fact, after last night, you just try to keep me off it. And if it was as incredible for you as it was for me…”

Those scrumptiously serious eyes became solemn. “I might not have been an innocent, but what I experienced with you was a first. I meant it when I said last night was life-changing.”

Delight gripped her heart so fiercely she feared it might pierce it. “Then it would be downright self-destructive if we didn’t indulge in this activity as frequently as humanly possible. But there are many more areas where we need to see if we’re that compatible.”

“Last night proved we are, in all areas that matter. You were right when you said we are not strangers. That has to be why we connected so smoothly and deeply.”

She laughed. “Sure. Connecting my tentacles deeply into you sure went smoothly. You’ve set a new record for Male Struggles Against Female Advances.”

“My struggles were a misguided attempt at chivalry, as you so correctly diagnosed.” His eyes lost that gravity, grew heated, hungered. “No more struggling, ever again.”

“That’s better news than anything I ever dared hope for. So can’t you let me, let us, savor this?” She smoothed out his gathering frown. “What’s the rush?”

She caught a relenting glimmer in his eyes, something she was starting to realize meant he was softening inside. “The rush is that your power, which your mother and aunt clearly knew nothing about, is so overwhelming, you shredded my ironclad control. I took you without protection. You might already be pregnant.”

The wish for that to be true was so intense, she couldn’t breathe.

When she could draw air again she said, “That’s still not a reason to rush into marriage.” Even if it was the struggle of her life not to jump on his offer. “I have to admit you were right. We don’t know a lot about each other.”

“We know enough. All the important things.”

Feeling herself on the verge of giving in, she tried again. “Why not take the time to know all the unimportant things, too? I hear those are usually what make people turn each others’ lives into hell and end up breaking them apart.” She ran a teasing finger down the cleft in his chin. “Maybe in a month’s time I’ll find you an incredible bore and you’ll find me an unbearable pain in the neck, and we’ll both be glad we didn’t rush into anything.”

His arm tugged her closer, pulling her into his rock-hard body. “Wanting like this would counteract any boredom you might feel. And it would relieve any neck pain I might suffer.” Before she could argue more, he had her spread and open beneath him. “But though I believe we don’t need it, you can have your month. As long as I have you all through it. And it’s not one day longer.”

Then he took her lips, took her. She welcomed him back into her body, her heart soaring.

She only hoped that by month’s end, his insistence on legitimizing their passion would no longer be driven by any hint of honor, commitment and duty. She wanted the passion itself to be the only reason.

Though what she really yearned for was that he would come to love her. As much as she loved him.

One miracle at a time, she reminded herself, as she drowned in his passion and pleasure again.

“Can we have a bed?”

Laylah stretched her arms up in the air, savoring the soreness in her every muscle as she walked back to Rashid. He was awaiting her return on that mattress where he’d been taking her to heavens she hadn’t known existed for the past week.

“Not that I don’t love that mattress. Literally the best time of my life has been spent on it. I just want some… variation.”

He caught her hand, brought her down on his lap, ensconcing her within his great body. “We can have anything at all that you want. If I don’t anticipate your wishes, just ask.”

Which would be impossible to do. Since their first night together, he’d not only been anticipating her wishes but doing things for her she hadn’t even known to wish for. Like taking her on a surprise flight on his private jet to visit Mira in Tennessee. And surprising her with an ingenious analysis report that would see her business jumping to a whole new level.

He seemed to be thinking of her every minute of the day, and what he could do for her. In his own unique way, he was doing something she’d never dreamed he’d do. He was courting her.

As if she needed to love him more. But she did as he wooed and watched over her, as he pleasured and possessed her. With every word and touch and action, he kept dragging her deeper in love with him. Every moment she shared with him, every breath and glance, was every dream she hadn’t dared believe would come true.

And he hadn’t kept her just to his personal time and domain. He’d shown her his business side, letting her see how a master negotiated deals and waged war, teaching her tricks she couldn’t wait to implement in her own business, tutoring her in the methods of maximum efficiency with minimum effort and time. He let her in on his every secret method, thought process and strategy. He was intense about everything, brilliant in every way.

But what surprised her most was how sensitive and caring he was, in his own subtle, practical, effective way. Not only with her, in and out of bed, but with his people. His right-hand man, Ahmad, had told her yesterday that Rashid’s army of deputies and underlings worshipped the dirt under his feet, would walk into an inferno for him. She believed it.

It was a validation of how right she’d been about him all her life. He was everything she’d ever admired and respected. He was her hero in every way.

She couldn’t imagine how anyone could contemplate anyone else for the throne of Azmahar. In her opinion, no king in history had ever been more qualified.

“I just want a bed,” she said, coming up for breath from his last kiss.

Passion blazed in his black eyes, but his voice betrayed some lightness. “I just gave you carte blanche. Do it justice, ya ameerati, use it well.”

“I did tell you I’m no good at asking for or accepting stuff. I’m no good at wanting stuff. I really want nothing else. So… I’ll just keep this carte blanche to use well in… other areas.”

“In those areas, you already have carte rainbow. But in this area, I’m ahead of you. I’ve already ordered everything that will turn this place into the sensual wonderland where I can do your voluptuous magnificence justice, with all the props that will give me every… variation to pleasure and service you into oblivion.”

If he was already redecorating his place for her, this had to be serious, and long-term. Oh, sure, he’d already asked her to marry him. But that had been driven by honor as much as passion.

This was all passion.

Overwhelmed with joy, she whispered, “I want one more thing.”

“Name it.”

She ran hands trembling with longing to and fro over his head, the dense, cropped silk covering it feeling like velvet beneath her aching palms. “Grow your hair back.”

His caresses stilled, his expression shuttering closed.

Had she tripped one of his proximity sensors? Did he find it easy to give her material things, let her come as close as could be sexually, but when it came to emotional intimacy, he balked?

Just as she was kicking herself for presuming too much, too soon, he pulled her closer, flattening her breasts against his chest, his eyes searing into her soul.

Then he said, “Done.”

Forgetting her decision to never again make such demands of him, she whooped, jumped in his arms, deluged him in kisses before pulling back, letting her greed take over. “Mid-back? In a ponytail?”

His lips twisted. “How about we take it an inch at a time?”

“That’s payback for my ‘day at a time,’ isn’t it?”

He wouldn’t admit to it, but she knew. He wasn’t thrilled about waiting. But it thrilled her that he wasn’t badgering her into an early acceptance. That he was letting them experience this phase of their relationship, enjoy its wonders.

He rose, swinging her up in his arms, making her feel weightless. “Let’s explore some of the new props.”

“You mean you already have some here?”

“You mean you didn’t notice the new additions? I thought they’d stick out in the void downstairs.”

“With you meeting me at the door and taking me against it, before hauling me here semiconscious with pleasure? I wouldn’t have noticed if said void had been engulfed in a meteor crater.”

“Now that might not be a bad idea. A crater I’d fill with perfect temperature water.” Somehow holding her with one arm as he descended the stairs, he smoothed his knuckles against her cheek tenderly. “Would you like an indoor swimming pool?”

Afraid she’d pour through his arms, she sighed. “A huge tub with you in it? Well, duh!”

He sat her down on what she realized was a swing.

As her imagination flooded with erotic possibilities for that “prop,” he gave her lower lip an approving nip. “Duh it is, then.”

“So why is Laylah not staying with you?”

Mira’s question caused Laylah to look at Rashid intently as he drove all three of them back from an excellent dinner out.

For the past three weeks he’d been sharing something new with her every day. Picnics, hikes, business trips, museums, shows. Intimate rendezvouses at his place and then at secluded hideaways while the pool had been installed. Tonight he’d taken her—and Mira—to an incredible restaurant for another unprecedented experience.

“I mean,” Mira went on from the backseat, her voice half an octave higher as always in Rashid’s presence. “You return her so late every night it’s always after I go to sleep.”

Rashid looked at Mira in the mirror with that tranquility that Laylah knew indicated unending patience with her for being her best friend. It still amazed her that there wasn’t the least bit of male appreciation in his eyes for the fiery and statuesque beauty who turned heads wherever they went.

He inclined his head in gallant apology. “I am sorry if I’ve been the reason for disturbing your sleep.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Mira spluttered, as always out of her depth around Rashid.

Laylah could sympathize big-time. Rashid’s larger-than-life vibe could mess with anyone’s balance. Especially those with XX chromosomes. It had to be loving him that much, and his unlimited indulgence with her, that made her function somewhat normally around him.

Mira elaborated, “Hey, I’ve been having the time of my life with you guys these past weeks. I love the ride home every day from work in this wonder car, and in the company of my favorite couple in the world. And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all that wish-fulfillment stuff you keep pulling—flying me in private jets, getting round-the-clock medical attention for Dad at home and taking me out with you to places I didn’t know existed, not to mention the magic wand you’ve touched our business with. I’m just wondering, since you’ve been condensing your working hours to the bare minimum to make more time for each other, why not stay in the same place to have even more time together?”

“According to Laylah,” Rashid said, “it’s because I’m terminally archaic and can’t evolve beyond my Azmaharian programming.”

Yeah. She’d told him that. And a few more elaborate frustrations. He would be with her only during “appropriate” hours. But he wouldn’t hear of her spending the nights at his place, or her reputation would evidently disintegrate to ashes. The only time she’d spent the night with him had been that first night.

But that paled in comparison to another matter.

Tonight was their one-month anniversary.

At least it had been. Now after midnight, the day had passed.

And Rashid hadn’t asked her to marry him again.

She’d remained on pins and needles all day, thinking he’d say something during their late lunch. He hadn’t. Then at dinner, he’d invited Mira along and had so far said nothing.

Because Mira was around? Why invite her if she’d cramp his style? What did it all mean?

Had he rethought his offer? Decided it had been rushed and rash? With her being so free with her favors, maybe he thought he’d been wrong to worry about her “honor” when she wasn’t worried about it herself. Maybe he thought he should just enjoy what they had.

She’d want that, too, as long as it was long-term. But what if his change of heart meant that whatever he thought they had wouldn’t last long? What if he started winding down gradually to an inevitable end? Maybe he’d made that decision early on, and that was why he’d been adamant about her not moving in or even staying the occasional night. Maybe he didn’t want to cloak their intimacies in any kind of permanence.

She tried to shake off her doubts, listen to the almost one-sided conversation between Mira and Rashid. She couldn’t.

He pulled up to their building and said good-night to Mira, who responded with the self-possession of a starstruck schoolgirl, before she exited the car, murmuring for Laylah to take her time.

She didn’t. After a kiss that she initiated and he ended too soon, Rashid said that he had to rush away.

She stood on the sidewalk watching him drive off, feeling a chill that had nothing to do with the weather creeping into her bones. She hadn’t thought twice about what it meant any other night when he’d dropped her at her place and driven off. But tonight…

Could it be he didn’t realize what tonight was?

No. No way. Rashid forgot nothing. And since he’d said nothing, maybe he just had nothing to say.

It was a long time after he’d disappeared that she’d dejectedly turned and entered the building.

Unable to face Mira again, she waited outside their apartment, struggling with tears, until she heard silence inside.

Once in her room, she rushed into the shower, dissolved the hot tears she could no longer hold back in hotter water, as suspicions overtook her thoughts.

Why had he insisted on Mira’s presence tonight of all nights? Had he needed her as a buffer against any possibility of intimacy? Today had been the first day without any form of that. Had he considered today, instead of being the beginning of a new phase in their relationship, to be the beginning of the end? Had her prophecy come to pass? A month in her company had been more than enough, and she’d started to grate on him?

But last night he’d made love to her with as much hunger as ever. Was that not enough anymore, and being the chivalrous knight that he was, he was trying to find a painless way out of this mess? What would she do if this was true?

After a night in a hell of uncertainty, morning brought with it the searing light of realization. Why Rashid was pulling away.

It had to be because she’d told him she loved him.

At first, it had been in the throes of passion, then gradually afterward she’d said it at every opportunity. She hadn’t worried when he hadn’t said it back. She’d thought it had been too soon for him, but she had been certain it was coming.

What if, instead of being truthful with him about her emotions, as she’d thought she should be, she’d only pressured him? And his response to her fervor, when he believed he couldn’t reciprocate it, was to pull away?

Unable to hold back anymore, anxiety and urgency eating through her restraint, she snatched her phone up, dialed his number.

He picked up on the second ring. She recognized the background sounds. He was in his car.

“Laylah—”

She cut him off before he could say anything more. “I didn’t… didn’t mean anything when I said I loved you. Please, just forget I said it.”