Читать книгу Gobble-Up Stories - Oscar Mandel - Страница 8

A CONFERENCE OF KINGS

Two kings met to adjust a border dispute. One was clothed in gold and silver, the other was dressed in rags and his face was full of cuts. The king in gold and silver was so shocked when he saw his neighbor that he forgot all about borders. For even though kings like to make war against each other, they hate to see one of their own in real trouble. Even when one king kills another, he wants to be sure that behind the one he killed, there’s another ready to take his place. Anyway, the king in gold and silver grasped the other by the shoulders and cried, “What has happened to you, brother?”

“Don’t ask,” the king in rags replied, “I’ve been all but hacked to death. I’m a good king. I raised everybody’s wages and salaries and profits and interest and dividends and pensions and royalties, and the people got used to fingering money, so they asked for more; but the treasury was empty, I sold the queen’s jewels, the rich denounced me, the rabble besieged me, everybody threw stones at me, and if it hadn’t been for our blessed border dispute, they would have murdered me to pieces. While look at you, oh look at you. Gorgeous and merry, and looking twenty years younger than you are. Brother, brother, how do you do it?”

“Unlike you,” said the rich king, “I imposed on my people a tax so heavy it would have ruined five generations to come. At the last moment, when the only noise in the realm was that of sobs and groans, I made an unforgettable gesture from my balcony and reduced the tax by one entire tenth. And now, brother, I am rich enough to buy Mammon, and the people, though hungry, bless me everywhere I go.”