Читать книгу Right Where We Started - Pamela Hearon - Страница 12

CHAPTER TWO

AUDREY SLOWED THE car and peered closely at the Dublin home as she passed. For the last eleven years, she’d averted her eyes anytime she drove by, trying to pretend the family who lived there no longer existed. It was a silly mind game, but she did it as a kind of homage to Win, aka her sister, Calinda—Callie to everyone else. If Win was no longer allowed to exist in her world, it seemed only fair the boy who caused her death shouldn’t have a place in it, either.

But he’d appeared back in her world today—in a prominent place in her daughter’s life—and the unfairness of it all made Audrey’s eyes blur with tears. Tess would never have the opportunity to share even a single memory with her Aunt Callie, yet memories of Mark Dublin would be permanent.

He wasn’t the same Mark she remembered, though. Not physically. Oh, the deep-set green eyes with the long dark lashes women would kill for were the same. But the golden highlights in his light brown hair were more prevalent, and the tan he always sported was darker. Permanent. Had he actually grown a couple of inches? He seemed taller, and she’d noticed the corded muscles in his arms with not an ounce of fat. His legs had always been hard and sinewy; the rest of his body had caught up.

Audrey chastised herself for lingering on those thoughts too long and forced her focus onto the house she was inching past.

The white cottage, with its hunter green door and shutters, looked as neat and tidy as ever with the lawn mowed and the boxwood hedge trimmed to perfection. Deloris’s foundation plantings of Annabelle hydrangeas were in full-bloom, as were the climbing roses that covered the trellis outside what used to be Mark’s bedroom.

Was he living there? Audrey’s chest tightened at the thought and then squeezed hard as the answer to the question came into view when she made the turn onto Beecher Road. A bicycle leaned against Pete’s oversized garage at the back of the property. Fully equipped with all the bells and whistles necessary for the serious enthusiast, it wasn’t something she could picture either Deloris or Pete riding and unfortunately brought a head full—and a heart full—of memories to the surface, along with the sickening realization that Mark was once again her nearest neighbor.

She stepped on the gas and sped past the ancient weeping willow at the edge of the pond. No way was she going to let memories of that favorite childhood hideaway steal into her thoughts.

Not today, and not ever if she could help it.

Fifty yards down the road, she turned into the familiar driveway leading back to the green, two-story frame house she would always call home.

As she came through the door, Faith met her with a smile, which immediately shifted into a look of concern. “That didn’t take long. You okay?”

Audrey looked past her toward the kitchen. “Where’s Mom?”

“Out back.” Faith’s thumb pointed over her shoulder. “We’ve been watching the robins in the birdbath. I just came in to fix her another tea.” She held up an empty cup. “Want some?”

Audrey tossed her bag onto the recliner. “Not unless you’re lacing it with Wild Turkey.”

“Sorry.” The preacher’s wife grinned and gave a shrug. “Earl Grey straight up, I’m afraid. But tell me what has you needing bourbon at nine thirty in the morning?”

The scarf around her neck added an additional weight on her shoulders she didn’t need. Audrey jerked it off and threw it on top of her bag. “Mark Dublin is Tess’s teacher.”

“Well...yeah.”

Faith’s head tilted in question, as if what Audrey was implying wasn’t obvious, so she spelled it out. “Nobody bothered to tell me he was back.” Her hands flew up in a gesture of annoyance and landed on her hips.

“We, ah, everybody figured the less said the better. If we didn’t make a big deal out of Mark’s being back, we hoped you could forgive and move on...” Faith’s voice trailed off.

Audrey was incredulous. “Forgive and move on.”

“Yeah. I mean, everybody remembers how the two of you were inseparable from the time you were...what? Five?” Faith held up a finger. “Hold on. I want to check on Helen.” She moved to the kitchen window and peeked out. “She’s fine, still watching the birds. Anyway, we hoped you could be friends again. You haven’t had any contact?”

“No contact. Not for eleven years.” The emotion of the morning finally caught up with her, and Audrey slumped into the nearest chair. “I’m sorry, Faith. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. You’ve been so kind about helping with Mom.”

Faith gave a dismissive wave.

“But, seeing Mark this morning was such a shock to my system. I never dreamed... Until this morning, we hadn’t spoken since the day of the funeral.” She took a deep breath, but the air seemed weighted with sorrow and it filtered through her system. “How could people think I would do that? Have they completely forgotten about my sister? About what happened?”

Faith pulled a chair up next to her and took her hand. “Nobody’s forgotten Callie. Her death shook our town to its core.” She leaned down slightly and caught Audrey’s eyes, held them with her own. “But it was an accident. Accidents happen. Nobody’s going to think any less of you if you and Mark make your peace now. Fact is, everybody’s been kind of relieved, thinking you might be...” She paused. “Friends again.”

Audrey blew out a frustrated breath. “Welcome back to Taylor’s Grove, where everybody knows your business—sometimes before you even know it yourself.”

Faith winked and gave her a small smile. “Only sometimes.”

“But they don’t know what’s in here, Faith.” She pointed to her head and shook it, trying to rid it of the images that had been popping up ever since Marta had said Mark’s name. “I keep hearing him dare her to go up those steps. Me begging her not to.”

Faith squeezed her hand. “I know it was horrible. But no matter how many times you relive it, you’re never going to change the outcome. So every time you relive it, you’ve wasted precious time in your life. Time you could’ve spent remembering the good times, like she would want you to.”

“At some level, I know you’re right.” Audrey pressed a thumb and middle finger into the area over her eyebrows and pushed to release the tension. It didn’t help. “But I have a child now. She’s my whole life. And I’m expected to entrust her care to the person whose thoughtless words sent my sister up those steps?”

“Callie took the dare, Audrey. She made the choice.”

Audrey’s teeth clenched so hard, a pain shot through her jaw. “But if Mark hadn’t dared her, there wouldn’t have been a choice to make.”

Faith looked at her a long time before she spoke. “From the day we’re born, our lives are filled with the choices we make. We act on those choices, and all of our actions have consequences, either good or bad.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “If one solitary mistake is going to be the criteria we’re judged on for our entire life, most of us would be afraid to do anything. And not doing anything can do just as much harm.”

Was Faith saying she should’ve done more to stop Win that night? That weight of guilt had lain in the pit of her stomach for so long it probably had moss covering it.

“You’re back at home now with a child and a mother to watch over,” Faith went on. “You’ve got a lot on your plate. Don’t make the pressure worse by dragging around the worries of the past. Like the book of Matthew says, ‘Today’s trouble is enough for today,’ sweetheart.” She gave Audrey’s hand a motherly squeeze before letting go.

Audrey couldn’t deny she was feeling pretty overwhelmed, and sitting here talking was not taking care of any of the multitude of things she had on today’s list. She stood and picked up her mom’s cup, which still sat empty on the table. “I’ll try to keep that in mind. Thanks.”

Faith looked at her watch. “I need to be going, but I can come back this afternoon if you need me.”

Audrey shook her head. “I appreciate it, but Miss Gertie told me I could use the adult day-care program at the nursing home when I need to—until Mom gets to be too much for them to handle.”

The shadow in Faith’s eyes said she didn’t expect that wait to be too long, but she covered it quickly with a smile. “You know my number. Call me anytime. Day or night.”

“Thanks, I will.”

“I’ll go out this way and tell Helen ’bye.” Faith let herself out the back door while Audrey filled her mom’s cup with tea from the pot sitting on the counter and stirred in two sugar cubes and a spoonful of milk.

As she came down the back steps, she saw the vacant look in her mom’s eyes change to a questioning one.

“Hey, Mom. It’s Audrey. I’m back from taking Tess to school.”

Recognition dawned slowly as her mom took the cup and sipped from it. The doctor had given specific instructions not to rush her with too much information too quickly—give her mind time to process one thing at a time.

“The little girl’s at school.” It was a statement instead of a question, which Audrey took as a good sign.

“Yes. Tess is at school.” She really needed to unpack Tess’s things and get the child’s bedroom set up. Making this place home to her daughter as quickly as possible was a top priority. But she could spare a few minutes to sit and enjoy the quiet time with her mom.

“Does she like her class?” A bright red cardinal landed in the birdbath, capturing her mom’s attention, and Audrey thought it might be a good time to ease into the subject of Tess’s unfortunate nonchoice of teachers.

“Yes. I think she does. She’s in Mark Dublin’s class.”

Her mom’s face broke into a smile, though her eyes remained on the bird. “I’m glad they’re in the same class.”

Audrey’s heart sank. Her mom had a hard time remembering who Tess was. She even called her Audrey most of the time. “Mark is the teacher,” Audrey said gently.

Her mom nodded. “He taught her to ride a bike. They’re such good friends.”

Audrey wished she’d fixed herself some tea. Maybe the warmth would loosen the lump that appeared in her throat. “Yes, they...were,” she whispered.

But everything’s changed now.

* * *

THROUGH HIS CLASSROOM WINDOW, Mark watched the parents gather on the sidewalk in front of the school to pick up their children. He tried to tell himself he wasn’t watching for Audrey in particular, but his heart betrayed him by doing a quick double beat when she appeared, and he had to think back to what had been on his tongue before his thoughts had been spirited away.

What was it? Oh, yeah. “Next week, we’ll begin our unit on animals, and we’re going to cover this wall with pictures of all kinds of them.” He walked over to the azure-blue wall next to the door and patted it. “If you’d like to, you can bring a picture of your own pet or a pet you’d like to have.” He had quite a collection of animal pictures he’d taken in Africa, and he couldn’t wait to see the children’s faces when they got their first look at some of the wild beasts he’d encountered.

An excited titter went through the group as they all started talking at once. All except Tess. She’d been talkative all day—not the least bit shy—but suddenly it appeared the cat had her tongue.

Before he could make his way to her, the bell rang and the kids converged on him like a swarm of bees, each wanting to give the first hug goodbye. As he opened the door into the hallway, Tess got up slowly from her seat and stood at the end of the hug line. He exchanged squeezes with them, telling each child, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” But when he got to Tess, she latched on to his neck and started sobbing.

“Hey.” His heart wobbled at her emotion. Had he done something to upset her? “What’s the matter?”

The child’s sobs became wails, and she clutched him tighter.

“Can you tell me why you’re crying?” She shook her head, and he stooped down, positioning himself at her eye level. When she let go, he’d be right there. “I’ll bet you can if you try.” Dampness soaked into his shirt, and if he wasn’t mistaken, she’d just wiped her nose on his shoulder. “Usually we find out things aren’t so bad if we talk about them.”

“What’s going on? What did you say to her?” Audrey appeared beside him, her tone sharp with accusation.

“I’m not sure what upset her.” He tried to stand, but the little girl’s grip held tighter as her mom tried to pry her away. Afraid of losing his balance, he sat down in the floor.

Audrey shot an angry glare his way before kneeling down beside Tess. She patted her daughter’s back. “What’s wrong, punkin? Why are you crying?”

“I want my kitty,” the child blubbered. “I miss Bobcat.”

It was Mark’s turn to send accusing glances. “She has a bobcat for a pet?”

“No, her stepmom has a tomcat named Bob, so they all call him Bobcat.” Audrey’s eyes misted over, too, and Mark shot her a not-you-too look. “He lives with Tess’s father’s family in Florida,” she said.

Tess finally loosened her death grip and tilted her tearstained face up to look in his eyes. “But I wanted to bring him here with me.”

“We couldn’t.” Audrey kept her voice as gentle as the touch she used to guide Tess into her own arms. “He’s lived with his family for a long time, and he would miss all of them a lot.”

“But... I miss...him.” Tess sniffed, her voice catching on her stuttered breaths.

“I know you do.” Audrey kissed her daughter’s forehead.

Mark’s insides twisted as the hidden memories of that touch fought to break free. He shifted his attention back to Tess. “So it upset you when I said you could bring a picture of your pet to put on the wall? It made you miss Bobcat?”

Tess’s bottom lip jutted out and she nodded.

He smiled and wiggled her nose with the tip of his finger. “Well, having a picture of him with you might help you not miss him so much. Or—” he added some excitement to his voice “—remember I also said you could bring a picture of a pet you’d like to have. Anything you want. A cat or a dog or a seal or a zebra.”

Tess’s eyes widened. “Or a dolphin?”

He nodded and gave an exaggerated shrug. “Or a dinosaur! Any animal you want. Think you can find one?”

She nodded and reached for Audrey’s hand.

“You don’t need to bring it until next week, so you have plenty of time to look and decide on one. Okay?” She nodded again. “Okay then. See you tomorrow.” He allowed his eyes to travel from the child to the mom with the same message.

Tess let go, then ran back to her desk and started rummaging through it.

Mark took the moment to ask the question that had been on his mind since that morning. “Could we, ah... Could we talk sometime? In private?” He scanned Audrey’s face, watching for the true reaction that would come right before she settled the mask of hatred in place.

“You can talk to me anytime.” There it was! Just a brief glimpse of wistfulness, but enough that his heart surged with a hope—right before the guilt tamped it down. “As long as it has to do with Tess,” she added pointedly.

Tess ran back to them and thrust a piece of paper toward his face. “I made this for you.”

The shape of a heart drawn with a child’s unsteady hand, colored with a hurried scribble of bright red.

“Thank you, Tess.” He patted the child’s mass of red curls and from the corner of his eye caught the tight look of displeasure on Audrey’s face. Whether it was Tess’s ready affection for him or his pat on her head that caused it, he wasn’t sure. Probably both. “I’ll hang it on my wall.” He pointed to the space behind his desk that proudly sported all sorts of drawings the other children had made for him.

Audrey turned toward the door and was leading her away. The child turned back to wave. “See you tomorrow.”

He waved and nodded.

This was going to take a very long time. But today was the start. With nine more months of school, he had approximately one hundred and eighty more days to win back Audrey’s friendship and the forgiveness he desperately longed for.