Читать книгу Brides of the West: Josie's Wedding Dress / Last Minute Bride / Her Ideal Husband - Pamela Nissen - Страница 15

Chapter Six

Between last night and this morning, Ty had eaten eight cookies. He’d also read Josie’s note a dozen times. I forgive you. Can you forgive me? She’d signed it with a “J,” the way she used to sign notes when they were friends, and later when they were courting. He welcomed her forgiveness, but what did the cookies mean? Sugar cookies were the first things she’d baked for him, and they brought back memories. Good ones. The kind that made him want to admit to loving her, even though he had no way on earth to support her.

Standing at the pasture fence, he ate a golden cookie while Smoke nibbled grass. Josie’s forgiveness tasted sweet indeed, but the second half of her note confused him. Why had she asked him for forgiveness? He saw no need.

“Good morning.”

He turned and saw her walking up the path. When she worked in the barn, she wore coveralls. Today she had on a blue calico with tiny yellow flowers. She looked prettier than ever, while he had less than ever to give her. “Good morning.” He indicated the half-eaten cookie. “I got your note. Thank you.”

“I mean it.” Not only did a smile appear on her pretty face, her cheeks blushed pink. “I forgive you, Ty. I hope you can forgive me.”

“For what?”

“Not writing to you in jail. For going silent when we should have spoken. For holding a grudge.” She looked into his eyes. “Last night I realized what I child I was. We were both so young. I still disagree with the decision you made, but I can understand it now.”

“Like you said, we were kids back then.”

“Yes.” She stepped to his side and rested her hands on the fence. “I’ve put that day behind me, but what that means for the future—for us—I don’t know.”

He wanted to say it meant a fresh start. He wanted to take her in his arms and remind her of what they once had. But he didn’t have that right. He was an ex-con with ten dollars to his name. He had a strong back and a way with horses but not much else. He certainly didn’t have the means to support Josie and Mrs. Bright. Her forgiveness could mean only one thing. “So we’re friends again,” he said.

“Yes, but it feels strange.”

It felt strange to Ty, too. When it came to Josie, he had old feelings and new ones, romantic thoughts and no money in his pocket. “A lot’s happened in a short time.”

She looked at him with a confusion that mirrored his own. “We both need to take things slow.”

“That’s smart,” he agreed.

With her fingers laced on the top rail, she looked at Smoke. “I missed you as much as your horse did. Being friends again will be nice.”

Ty agreed, but not fully. Friendship struck him as pale compared to the love they’d once shared. It was bread when he wanted cake. It would satisfy him, but he wanted more…he wanted to love her again. Looking out to the pasture, he had a sense of being back behind bars. Instead of steel, they were made of his inability to support her, but they were as real as the ones in prison. He wanted to break free, but he didn’t see a way.

Josie still had her eyes on the horse. “The race is in two weeks. How’s Smoke doing?”

“Good.”

“So we have a shot at winning?”

He liked how we sounded, but he had to remember his place. “He’s your horse and I’m a hired hand. It’s your race, Josie. I’m just riding in it.”

“I have two things to say.” She sounded like the boss. “Smoke belongs to you. Nate bought him for a song because no one else could ride him. I’ll sell him back to you for the money I owe you for paying Obie and Gordie.”

The price was fair to both of them. “It’s a deal.”

“Good.”

He hesitated, then said, “But I’m not splitting the prize money.”

“Ty—”

“I don’t want to argue.” He turned to look at her and wished he hadn’t. She seemed to look right through him. “It’s not pride, Josie. I owe you.”

“I thought forgiveness wiped the slate clean.”

“It does.”

“Then why won’t you take your share?”

“You need it.”

“So do you,” she countered. “Don’t you have plans for the future? With five-hundred dollars you could get a fresh start somewhere…even here in Rock Creek.”

Had she just asked him to stick around for a while? Neither of them were ready to go past being friends, but they’d once been in love and they hadn’t forgotten those feelings. If Ty owned Smoke, he could justify taking half the prize money. If he gave it to Josie after the race, he’d feel like part owner of the Bar JB. He could think about courting her. No, he corrected himself, he could do more than think about it…he could romance her like he’d done when they were kids.

“All right,” he agreed. “We’ll split it.”

“So we’re partners now.”

“Business partners,” he confirmed.

Smiling sweetly, she offered her hand. Ty took it, but they didn’t shake on the deal and break apart. They stood with their fingers touching and their eyes asking questions of themselves and each other. Ty thought of the time he’d let her down, broke the grip and looked away.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

He frowned at the meadow. “I won’t let you down, Josie.”

“I know you’ll do your best,” she said evenly. “But winning isn’t everything.”

“It is to me.”

“Not to me,” she replied. “I’m trusting you to ride hard and fair. That’s all anyone can ask. Winning and losing aren’t in your hands.”

“I’ll show up,” he assured her. “And I’ll win, because it’s the only way I can—” he stopped in midsentence.

“The only way you can what?”

“Never mind.” He didn’t dare mention courting her. Before he breathed a word of romance, he had to be able to support her. And to support her he had to win the Maze. “I better get to work,” Ty said, though he could think of something he’d like a lot more…a picnic in a pretty meadow, a ride to nowhere with nothing to do but enjoy each other. Someday he hoped to have those opportunities.

They turned at the same time. When she tipped up her chin and smiled, he had to fight the urge to do what he’d wanted to do for five years. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to marry her, and he wanted to pick up his dirty socks just like Reverend Hall had instructed. If he won the Maze, he’d do all of that and more. If he didn’t…the thought didn’t bear considering. He shifted his gaze from Josie’s lips to her eyes. As if she knew what he’d been thinking—and she did—she gave him a sassy look. He gave her a daring one back, and she laughed. “I think I like being friends.”

“Me, too.”

They walked back to the barn without touching hands, trading friendly barbs as if they were kids again. But it wasn’t enough…not nearly enough. For the future he wanted to give to Josie, Ty had to win that race. Until then, he’d be her friend, nothing more. No kissing. No hand holding. No sitting on the porch or walks in the moonlight. Friendship only and that was final.

* * *

Josie meant it when she told Ty they needed time to sort their feelings, but a week later she had her answers. She’d forgiven him and wanted to love him again. Not only did he work hard on the ranch, he’d been kind to her mother and gentle with her. Their evening suppers with Mama were the highlight of each day, with the three of them remembering Nate and Papa and the good times they’d had. Josie had expected some of her bitterness to linger, but it disappeared as completely as a caterpillar turned to a butterfly.

At night she looked at her wedding dress and imagined wearing it, but with her new hope came wariness. If Ty still had feelings for her, he was hiding them well. She also worried about his impulsive ways. He’d fired Obie without her permission, and she could see him always taking risks. The possibilities frightened her, but she could also imagine Ty kissing her, something that hadn’t happened. He hadn’t even come close and she didn’t know what to think. That’s why she was sitting in the kitchen at almost midnight with a cup of lukewarm tea. Ty had left the house two hours ago, and she hadn’t shaken her disappointment in yet another polite goodbye, or her concern that he’d somehow let her down.

“Josie?” Mama appeared in the doorway. “You’re up late.”

“I can’t sleep.”

Mama sat with a soft plop. “Because of Ty?”

“Always!” She chewed her lip in frustration. “The past week has been good. I really have forgiven him, but I’m just not sure I can trust him again.”

“I understand,” Mama agreed. “Forgiving someone who’s hurt you doesn’t mean you let it happen again. It means you don’t hold it against them. You start over and make new choices.”

“Even that’s confusing,” Josie admitted. “I thought maybe we would sit on the porch like we used to, but he leaves the minute you go to bed.”

“I’ve seen how polite he’s been.”

“Too polite.”

Mama thought for a minute. “He’s always had a lot of pride. Maybe he’s bothered to be working for you.”

“I don’t think of him as a hired hand. He’s more like family.”

“A brother?”

Josie’s cheeks flushed. “No, not at all.”

“Does Ty know that?”

“I think so, but it’s complicated. He’s always had an impulsive streak. It’s what got him into trouble, and it still worries me.” She sighed. “Sometimes I think he cares about me, but he treats me like…like Nate.”

Mama’s voice turned conspiratorial. “Would you like some advice from an old lady?”

“You’re not that old.”

“I’m old enough,” Mama replied. “Here’s what you do. Invite Ty to take a walk in the moonlight. If he doesn’t kiss you, then you kiss him.”