Читать книгу An Amish Wife For Christmas - Patricia Davids - Страница 15
ОглавлениеMichael watched Bethany drive away with a sharp unexpected sense of loss. She was a lovely woman, but he sensed she was much more than a pretty face. It was obvious that she cared about her family. Anyone who asked a cow for advice had to have a good sense of humor.
He smiled then quickly pushed thoughts of her out of his head. As much as she intrigued him, he was better off not seeing her.
Forming a relationship with Bethany would mean letting her get close. He couldn’t risk that. He had jumped at the chance to come to this part of Maine because it was remote and thinly populated but it held an Amish community. He had left his Amish upbringing once with devastating consequences. After the attack he had returned home hopeful that rejoining his faith and family would repair his shattered life. It hadn’t worked out that way. He didn’t know what more God needed from him.
Michael’s plan for his new life was simple. Live and work alone while coming into contact with as few people as possible. He wasn’t a loner by nature. He had become a recluse out of necessity. Avoiding people was the only way he felt safe. The only way he could keep his affliction hidden. Staying with Jesse was risky, but he had nowhere else to go. He could only pray he didn’t have an episode in front of him.
A doctor in Philadelphia had called it PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder, the result of a robbery gone wrong at the jewelry store where he had worked. What it meant was that his life was no longer his own. He lived in near constant fear. When a full-blown flashback hit he relived every detail as his coworkers, his friends, were killed in front of his eyes. The gunshots, the screams, the sirens—he saw it, heard it, felt it all again just as if it were happening to him the first time.
He never knew when a flashback would happen, making it impossible for him to return to work. Even a walk down a city street left him hearing the footsteps of someone following him, waiting to feel the cold, hard barrel of a gun jammed in his back.
He was the one who had let them in. He was the only one who came out alive. Sometimes he felt he should have died with the others, but he couldn’t dwell on that thought. God had other plans for him. He just didn’t know what they were.
The heavy thudding of his heart and the sweat on his brow warned him that thinking about it was the last thing he should be doing. He took a deep breath. Concentrate on something else. Think about Bethany asking her cow for advice and the shocked look on her face when she realized he’d heard her conversation. He visualized her in detail as his pulse slowed to a more normal speed.
From the corner of his eye he caught sight of the yellow dog trotting along the edge of the highway in his direction. Did she belong to someone or was she a stray surviving as best she could? Her thin ribs proved she wasn’t being cared for if someone did own her. Her chances of surviving the rest of the winter on her own didn’t look good. She approached as close as the drive leading into the parking lot. After pacing back and forth a few times she sat down and stared at him.
He turned to Jesse. “Do you know who that dog belongs to?”
Jesse glanced at her and shook his head. “I’ve seen her around. I think she’s a stray.”
“Would you happen to have anything I can feed her?”
Jesse laughed. “Are you a softhearted fellow?”
“Is there anything wrong with that if I am?”
“Nee, I like animals, too. Maybe more than most people, but I think I’m going to like you, Michael Shetler.” Jesse clapped him on the back with his massive hand, almost knocking Michael over. “There’s a couple of ham sandwiches in the refrigerator inside the office. You are welcome to them. For you or for the dog. Your choice.”
“Danki.” Michael walked into a small building with Office in a hand-lettered sign over the door. Inside he found a small refrigerator with a coffeepot sitting on top of it. He took out two of the sandwiches, happy to see they contained thick slices of ham and cheese. After taking a couple of bites from one, he walked out with the rest in his hand. The dog was still sitting in the driveway.
He walked to within a few feet of her and laid the sandwich on the ground. As soon as he moved away she jumped up and gulped down the food. Looking up, she wagged her tail, clearly wanting more.
“Sorry, that’s all there is. We are two of a kind, it seems. You needed a handout and so did I. We have Jesse over there to thank for sharing his lunch.” Michael chuckled. He had teased Bethany about talking to her cow but here he was talking to a dog. It was too bad Bethany wasn’t here to share the joke.
What surprised him was how much he wanted to see her again.
* * *
Jeffrey Morgan’s home was a little more than a mile farther up the road from Bethany’s house. As she pulled in she saw Jeffrey’s mother getting out of her car. When she caught sight of Bethany she approached the buggy hesitantly.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Morgan.” Bethany stepped down from the buggy unsure of what to say.
“You are Ivan’s mother, aren’t you?” The woman remained a few feet away.
“I’m his older sister. Our mother passed away some years ago.”
“That’s right. Jeffrey told me that. I’m sorry about your grandfather. Jeffrey was fond of him.”
“Thank you. Is Jeffrey here?”
“No. He’s at school.”
“I’m afraid he isn’t. I just came from the school. Neither he nor my brother showed up for class today.”
Mrs. Morgan looked around fearfully and moved closer to Bethany. “Are you saying that the boys played hooky today?”
“I don’t know that word.”
“Hooky? It means they skipped school without permission.”
“Then ja, they played hooky.”
Mrs. Morgan looked toward the house at the sound of the front door opening. Mr. Morgan stepped out. Jeffrey’s mother leaned closer. “Don’t tell my husband about this. I will speak to Jeffrey.”
Puzzled by her fearful reaction, Bethany nodded. “Please send Ivan home if you see him.”
“I will.”
Bethany waved to Mr. Morgan. He didn’t return the gesture. She got in her buggy and left. Where were those boys and what were they up to?
Bethany arrived home just after noon. She parked the buggy by the barn and stabled her horse. She wasn’t any closer to finding her brother or figuring out what he was up to. As she came out of the barn, a car horn sounded. She glanced toward the county road that ran past her lane. Frank Pearson’s long white passenger van turned off the blacktop and into her drive. Frank was the pastor of a Mennonite congregation a few miles away. He and her grandfather had become good friends. Frank used to visit weekly for a game of chess and to swap fishing stories.
Frank pulled up beside her and rolled down his window. “Good day, Bethany.”
“Hello, Frank. Would you like to come in for some coffee?”
“I’m afraid I don’t have time today. I have my bereavement support group meeting in twenty minutes. I just stopped in to see how you’re getting along and to invite you and your family to attend one of our meetings when you are ready. It doesn’t matter what faith you belong to or even if you are a nonbeliever. We all grieve when we lose loved ones.”
“Danki, Frank. I don’t think it’s for me.”
“If you change your mind, you’re always welcome to join us. Please let me know if you need help with anything. I miss Elijah, but I know my grief is nothing compared to yours. I promised him I’d check in on you.”
“Our congregation here is small, but we have been well looked after.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I’ll stop by again in a few days and stay awhile.”
Maybe Frank could reach Ivan. “Why don’t you come to dinner on Sunday? I know Ivan and Jenny would enjoy seeing you again. Maybe you can interest Ivan in learning to play chess.”
“You know, I believe I will. Your cooking is too good to resist. Thanks for the invite.”
“You are always welcome here.”
After Frank drove away, Bethany headed for her front door. The smell of warm yeasty dough rising greeted her as she entered the house. Gemma was busy kneading dough at the table. Bethany pulled off her coat and straightened her prayer kapp. “What are you doing here again so soon? I thought you said tomorrow?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“It looks like you are making a mess in my kitchen.”
Gemma giggled as she surveyed the stack of bowls, pans and the flour-covered table. “It does, doesn’t it?” She punched down the dough in a second bowl and dumped it onto a floured tabletop.
“Why are you baking bread in my kitchen?”
“Because you didn’t have any. I realized on my way home this morning that the least I could do for a friend was to remedy that.”
“I appreciate the gesture but why not bake it at your home and bring the loaves here.”
“I didn’t want to mess up my kitchen. I just finished washing the floor.” Gemma looked at her and winked. “Where have you been, anyway?”
Should she confide in Gemma about Ivan’s recent actions and Jedidiah’s accusations? Once more Bethany wished her grandfather were still alive. He would know what to do with the boy. She hung her coat on one of the pegs by the kitchen door. “It’s a long story.”
Gemma looked up. “Oh?”
Bethany went to the far cabinet and pulled out a cup and saucer. She felt the need of some bracing hot tea. “Jedidiah came by earlier. He accused Ivan of stealing two bags of potatoes and a bag of beans from his cellar.”
Gemma spun around, outrage written across her face. “He did what?”
“He said Ivan stole those items and he had proof because Ivan sold some of the potatoes to the grocer this morning.”
“I don’t believe it. I know Ivan has been difficult at times, but he is not a thief.”
Bethany filled her cup with hot water from the teakettle on the back of the stove. “That’s what I said. I went to the school to hear Ivan’s side of the story.”
“And?”
“And he wasn’t at school. He hasn’t been to school all week. He forged a letter from me telling the teacher that he is out sick.” Bethany opened a tea bag, added it to her cup and carried it to the kitchen table, where she sat down.
After a long moment of stunned silence, Gemma came to sit across from her. “You poor thing. Still, that doesn’t mean he stole from Jedidiah.”
“It doesn’t prove he didn’t. And it certainly doesn’t speak well of his character. Jedidiah went straight to Bishop Schultz with the story. I had hoped to speak with the bishop, too, but he is gone to Unity until Wednesday. I don’t know how I’ll ever convince him to let Ivan remain with us now. What is wrong with my brother? How have I failed him?”
Had Ivan inherited his father’s restlessness and his refusal to shoulder his responsibilities? She prayed that wasn’t the case.
Gemma reached across the table and laid a comforting hand on Bethany’s arm. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea things had progressed to this degree of seriousness. He’s always been a little willful, but this is unacceptable behavior and it is his own doing. Bethany, you did not fail him.”
“Danki.” Bethany appreciated Gemma’s attempt to comfort her.
Gemma returned to the other end of the table and began dividing the dough into bread pans. “You’ll simply have to talk to the boy and tell him what the bishop has planned. Perhaps that will convince him to mend his ways.”
“I hope you are right. Christmas is only five weeks away. I don’t know if a change in Ivan’s behavior now will be enough to convince Onkel Harvey and the bishop that he should stay with us. Stealing is a serious offense.”
Bethany had lost so many people in her family. She couldn’t bear the thought of sending her brother away. She had promised to look after her brother and sister and to keep the family together. It felt like she was breaking that promise and it was tearing her heart to pieces.
“You still have the option to marry. I think Jesse would jump at the chance if you gave him any encouragement.”
“I saw him this morning and he didn’t appear love-struck to me.”
Gemma laughed. “Did you honestly go see him with marriage in mind?”
“Of course not. I took a stranger to see the bishop at his workplace. The bishop wasn’t there but Jesse was.”
“What stranger?” Gemma looked intrigued.
“His name is Michael Shetler. He claims my grandfather offered him a job and a place to stay.”
“Did he?”
Bethany shrugged. “I never heard Grandfather mention it.”
“What’s he like? Is he single?”
“He’s rude.”
“What does that mean? What did he say to you?” Gemma left the bread dough to rise again and returned to her seat, her eyes alight with eagerness. “Tell me.”
Bethany blushed at the memory of Michael listening to her conversation with Clarabelle. That was the last time she would speak to any of the farm animals. “He wasn’t actually rude. He simply caught me off guard.”
“And?”
“When I told him about Elijah’s passing he was very upset. I thought the bishop would be the best person to help him find work, so I gave him a ride to the shed factory. Jesse said he would put him to work.”
“You took a stranger up in your buggy? Is he old? Is he cute?”
“He walks with a cane.”
“So he’s old.”
“Nee. I’d guess he’s twenty-five or so. I had the impression it was a recent injury to his leg.”
“So he’s young. That’s goot, but is he nice looking?”
Bethany considered the question. “Michael isn’t bad looking. He has a rugged attractiveness.”
“Michael?” Gemma tipped her head to the side. “He must be single. Is he someone you’d like to know better?”
“I have too much on my mind to spend time thinking about finding a man.”
“That’s not much of an answer.”
“It’s the only answer you are going to get. You’ll have the chance to see Mr. Shetler for yourself at the church service next Sunday.”
“All right. I won’t tease you.”
Gemma walked over and put on her coat. “Ivan is a good boy at heart. You know that.”
Bethany nodded. “I do. Something is wrong, but I don’t know what.”
“You’ll figure it out. You always do. I’m leaving you with a bit of a mess but all you have to do is put the bread in the oven when it’s done rising.”
“Danki, Gemma. I’m blessed to have you as a friend.”
“You would do the same for me. Mamm is planning a big Thanksgiving dinner next Thursday. You and the children are invited of course.”
“Tell your mother we’d love to come.”
“Invite Michael when you see him again.”
“I doubt I’ll see him before Sunday next and by then it will be too late.”
“My daed mentioned the other day he needs a bigger garden shed. Maybe I’ll go with him to look at the ones the bishop makes. You aren’t going to claim you saw Michael first if I decide I like him, are you?”
Bethany shook her head as she smiled at her friend. “He’s all yours.”
* * *
Bethany was waiting at the kitchen table when both children came home. Ivan sniffed the air appreciatively. “Smells good. Can I have a piece of bread with peanut butter? I’m starved.”
Bethany clutched her hands together and laid them on the table. “After I have finished speaking to you.”
“Told you,” Jenny said as she took off her coat and boots.
“Talk about what?” Ivan tried to look innocent. Bethany knew him too well. She wasn’t fooled.
“Why don’t you start by telling me what you did wrong and why.” Bethany was pleased that she sounded calm and in control.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” He couldn’t meet her gaze.
“You do so,” Jenny muttered.
“Stay out of this,” Ivan snapped.
“I went to school today. I’m not in trouble,” Jenny shot back.
“I’m waiting for an explanation, Ivan.” Bethany hoped he would own up to his behavior.
“Okay, I skipped school today. It’s no big deal. I can make up the work.” His defiant tone made her bristle.
“You will make up the work for today, and Thursday and Wednesday and Tuesday. You will also write a letter of apology to your teacher for your deliberate deception. Is there something else you want to tell me?”
He stared at his shoes. “Like what?”
Bethany shook her head. “Ivan, how could you? Skipping school is bad enough. Forging a letter to your teacher is worse yet, but stealing from our neighbors is terrible. I can’t believe you would do such a thing. What has gotten into you?”
“Nothing.”
“That is not an answer. Why did you steal beans and potatoes from Jedidiah?”
Ivan shrugged. “He has plenty. The Amish are supposed to share what they have with the less fortunate.”
“What makes you less fortunate?”
When he didn’t answer Bethany drew a deep breath. “Your behavior has shamed us. Worse than that, your actions have been reported to the bishop.”
“So? What does the bishop have to do with this?”
“The bishop is responsible for this community,” Bethany said. “Because you have behaved in ways contrary to our teachings, the bishop has decided you need more discipline and guidance than I can give you.”
“What does that mean?”
“When Onkel Harvey and his family come to visit for Christmas, you will return to Bird-in-Hand with them.”
“What? I don’t want to live with Onkel Harvey.”
“You should’ve thought about the consequences before getting into so much trouble.”
Jenny, who had been standing quietly beside Ivan, suddenly spoke up. “You’re sending him away? Sister, you promised we would all stay together.” She looked ready to cry. “You promised.”
“This is out of my hands. The bishop and your uncle have decided what Ivan needs. They feel I have insufficient control over you, Ivan. I’m afraid they are right. Bishop Schultz believes you need the firm guidance of a man. If your grandfather was still alive or if I was married, things would be different.”
“That’s stupid,” Ivan said, glaring at Bethany. “I didn’t do anything bad enough to be sent away. It isn’t fair.”
“None of us wants this. You have time before Christmas to change your behavior and convince them to let you stay. You will return the items you’ve taken from Jedidiah. He knows that you sold one of the bags of potatoes you took. You must give the money you received for them to Jedidiah. You will have to catch up on all your missed schoolwork and behave politely to Jedidiah and to the bishop. We will pray that your improvement is enough to convince Bishop and Onkel Harvey to let you remain with us.”
Ivan glared at her. “Jedidiah Zook is a creep. He’s never nice to me, so why should I be nice to him?”
Bethany planted her hands on her hips. “That attitude is exactly what got you into this mess.”
Jenny wrapped her arms around her brother’s waist. “I don’t want you to go away. I’ll tell the bishop you’ll be good.”
“They don’t care what we think because we’re just kids and we don’t count.”
“That’s enough, Ivan. You and I will go now to speak to Jedidiah and return his belongings this evening.”
“I can’t.”
“What do you mean that you can’t?”
He shrugged. “I don’t have the stuff or the money anymore. I gave it away.”
“Who did you give it to?” Bethany asked.
“I don’t have to tell you.” He pushed Jenny away and rushed through the house and out the back door. Bethany followed, shouting after him, but he ran into the woods at the back of the property and disappeared from her view.
Jenny began crying. Bethany picked her up to console her. Jenny buried her face in the curve of Bethany’s neck. “You can’t send him away. You can’t. Do something, sister.”
“I will try, Jenny. I promise I will try.”
Ivan returned an hour later. Not knowing what else to do, Bethany sent him to bed without supper. Jenny barely touched her meal. Bethany didn’t have an appetite, either. She wrote out a check to Jedidiah for the value of the stolen items and put it in an envelope with a brief letter of apology. She couldn’t face him in person.
After both children were in bed, Bethany stood in front of the door to her grandfather’s workshop. He wouldn’t be in there but she hoped that she could draw comfort from the things he loved. She pushed open the door.
Moonlight reflecting off the snow outside cast a large rectangle of light through the window. It fell across his desk and empty chair. She walked to the chair and laid her hands on the back of it. The wood was cold beneath her fingers. She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. The smell of the oils he used, the old leather chair and the cleaning rag that was still lying on the desk brought his beloved face into sharp focus. Tears slipped from beneath her closed eyelids and ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away with both hands.
“I miss you, Daadi. We all miss you. I know you are happy with our Lord in heaven and with Mammi and Mamm. That gives me comfort, but I still miss you.” Her voice sounded odd in the empty room.
Opening her eyes, she sat in his chair and lit the lamp. The pieces of a watch lay on the white felt-covered board he worked on. His tiny screwdrivers and tools were lined up neatly in their case. Everything was just as it had been the last time he sat in this chair. The cleaning rag was the only thing out of place. She picked it up to return it to the proper drawer and saw an envelope lying beneath it. It was unopened. The name on the return address caught her attention. It was from Michael Shetler of Sugarcreek, Ohio.
