Читать книгу Shelter From The Storm - Patricia Davids - Страница 15

What was Jesse doing here?

Gemma struggled to control her sobs. He couldn’t have looked more stunned if he tried. His expression would have been comical if she could have found anything funny in her humiliating situation. How much worse could this day get?

The bus agent hurried over. He knelt beside her and offered her a box of tissues while glaring at Jesse. “What did you say to her?”

Jesse’s face became expressionless. “I said good-evening.”

The agent’s scowl deepened. “That’s not enough to make a woman cry.”

“I reckon it is when I say it.”

“It’s—it’s okay,” Gemma managed to reassure the helpful man between hiccuping sobs.

She reined in her distress and raised her chin to meet Jesse’s gaze. The surprise of seeing him had caught her off guard. His size, as he towered over her, made her feel small and insignificant. Like always. “Hello, Jesse. What—what are you doing here?”

“Delivering sheds. And you?”

She looked away. “Going home. I missed my bus.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat. “Dale Kaufman and I are returning to New Covenant in the morning. You are welcome to ride along with us. I’ll get you a room for tonight. Dale’s truck is down in front of the café. If you would rather not ride with...us, I’ll pay for your room as long as you need one.”

He turned and left the building without waiting for her answer. She drew a deep breath and blew it out in a huff. She wanted to get home, but she didn’t want to spend hours sitting next to Jesse. Nor did she want to be beholden to him. He had only offered to pay for her room because they were both Amish. He hadn’t done it because he cared about her.

Once she had imagined herself in love with Jesse. Was it only a year ago? It seemed like a lifetime had passed. She’d done everything within her power to make him notice her. What he had seen was a pesky child not a woman. Her declaration of love and marriage proposal didn’t win her the kiss she’d been hoping for. Jesse had laughed at her and called her a spoiled baby. She’d been humiliated, brokenhearted and furious. She had said some cruel things she didn’t mean. As it turned out he’d been right.

She picked up her sandwich bag and lifted the handle of her suitcase. She tried to hand the box of tissues back to the agent.

Her kind protector shook his head. “Keep it. You might need it. You don’t have to go with that fellow if you’re afraid of him.”

That made her smile. “Jesse Crumb might break a foolish young girl’s heart, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Pulling her suitcase behind her, she left the building and walked toward the café. The autumn wind was cold where it struck her face. It carried the promise of snow. Why people had chosen to settle this land was beyond her. The Florida coast was so much nicer.

Dale Kaufman came out of the building as she approached the vehicle. Jesse was nowhere in sight. Dale grinned. “I sure am surprised to see you, Miss Lapp, and in Cleary of all places. How did you end up here?”

“Cleary is the northern end of the major bus line. I was supposed to take a local bus up to Caribou, but they only run every other day in the winter. One more thing about this state that makes life difficult.” She pulled her cloak tightly around her shoulders, making sure to keep the material gathered loosely in front so her pregnancy didn’t show.

“So why come back?” Jesse asked as he walked up behind her.

“That’s none of your business.” She made her tone as sharp as possible. The last thing she wanted him to think was that she still had a crush on him. She’d gotten over him a long time ago. Well before she met her baby’s father, she had realized her infatuation with Jesse had been more about being the last single woman in her group of friends than finding her soul mate. There had been only two single Amish fellows in their community back then. In her opinion, Jesse had been the better choice.

He arched one eyebrow but didn’t say anything. That was Jesse’s biggest problem. He never had much to say. Especially to her. How could she ever have considered him attractive? Sure, he was tall with broad shoulders, curly black hair and the most beautiful sky blue eyes fringed with thick dark lashes, but looks weren’t everything. An attractive man needed an attractive personality. Jesse had the personality of a fence post.

No, she was being childish again. Just because he hadn’t been blinded by her charms last year was no reason for unkind thoughts about him. Jesse was a quiet man and there wasn’t anything wrong with that. He was about the only man she knew who didn’t have a hidden motive.

Robert Fisher, her former boyfriend had been a handsome smooth-talking flirt. She had been a naive, easy target for him. His attentions soothed her wounded pride and made her feel beautiful and loved. Except it was all a lie. He seduced her and left town the day after she told him she was pregnant. Like a fool, she had waited for him to return. It took months for her to accept that he wasn’t coming back. It was a lesson she took to heart. He was the last man she would trust unconditionally.

Returning home was hard. She had already been baptized into the Amish faith. She would be shunned when the bishop learned of her condition, but that wasn’t as frightening as having a baby alone. She wouldn’t be able to eat at the same table as her parents and they wouldn’t be able to accept anything from her hand. She wouldn’t be included in church activities for as long as her shunning went on. She was prepared for that. She fully intended to confess and ask forgiveness and pray the bishop chose a short period of shunning for her to endure.

Jesse held out a motel key. “I got you a room. Number eight. I’ll take your suitcase.” One arched eyebrow dared her to reject his offer.

“Danki,” she murmured.

Dale glanced between the two of them. “Have you eaten, miss?”

She raised the white paper bag. “I have my supper.”

“Goot.” Jesse walked toward the motel, carrying her suitcase as easily as if it were empty instead of packed full of all she owned.

She nodded to Dale. “I’m grateful for the lift home.”

“My pleasure. It’s a long trip, and I sure will enjoy having someone to talk to for a change. Jesse don’t say much.”

“I know.” She followed Jesse to the room at the very end of a motel that had seen better days. The Gray Goose Inn’s paint was peeling in multiple spots and the windows were dingy. The sidewalk along the front was cracked and lifted while the neon light on the sign out front flickered dimly.

He held open the door and set her suitcase inside. “We’ll leave at six.”

“I’ll be ready.” She swallowed her false pride and stared at her fingers clenched around her purse handle. “Danki, Jesse. This is generous of you. I will repay you, I promise.”

“It’s nothing. Why come back? Your daed says you like it in Florida.”

Had Jesse asked about her? She found that hard to believe. “I do, but I got homesick.”

As soon as she said the words, she realized they were true. She missed her parents and her friends, even if they didn’t miss her.

Bethany, Gemma’s closest friend, had married last winter and all she talked about was how happy she and Michael were and how blessed she was to have found the man God had intended to be her husband. Gemma’s first cousin Anna Miller was the same way. She and her new husband, Tobias, had arrived in New Covenant a few weeks after Bethany’s wedding. The two women had nothing on their minds except setting up house and starting a family. Two more young married couples moved to New Covenant at the same time. The women all enjoyed one another’s company and often visited between houses. Gemma was the only single woman among them.

Gemma had been happy for her friends, but it hadn’t taken long to realize she’d become a third wheel. The sad odd person out with no one of her own. Without the prospect of marriage and the memory of making a fool of herself over Jesse popping up each time she saw him, Gemma decided to escape to the Amish settlement in sunny Pinecrest, Florida, to find her own soul mate. What a mistake that had turned out to be. A shudder coursed through her at the memory of her betrayal by the man she had met down there who claimed to love her.

“Are you back for good?” Jesse asked. Was there a hopeful note in his voice? She glanced at his face. His grim expression said she must have been mistaken.

She looked down and shrugged. “I haven’t decided.”

Her lower lip quivered. The council of her mother was what she wanted and needed, even as she dreaded revealing her condition. She had no idea what she was going to do about the baby.

Jesse stood as if waiting for something else. She glanced at his face again and caught a look of tenderness before it disappeared. His usual blank expression took its place. Underneath his brawny build and his reclusive nature, Jesse had a soft heart. While he avoided the company of most people, he was known for taking in wounded creatures and strays. Was that how he saw her now? If so, he was more astute than she gave him credit for. She glanced down to make sure her full cloak hid her figure. “Thank you again for your kindness.”

“The bishop would expect it of me. Gemma, is something wrong?”

She couldn’t look at him. “I’m tired, that’s all.”

“Then I’ll say good-night.”

Unable to reply, she went inside, dropped her cold supper in the trash and closed the door, shutting out his overwhelming presence and her irrational desire to bury her face against his chest and give in to her tears.

* * *

It was still dark when Gemma left the motel room a few minutes before six o’clock the next morning, pulling her suitcase behind her. She could see her breath in the chilly air. Snowflakes drifted gently down from the overcast sky. Winter was tightening its grip on the countryside. The contrast between the sandy beach and ocean waves where she had been three days ago caused her to shiver. Had she been foolish to come back? Maybe.

She had her emotions well under control for the moment. A good night’s sleep had erased the ravages of the tears she’d cried into her pillow after Jesse left her. Washing her face with cold water had removed the last bit of puffiness from around her eyes. She was ready to face a few hours in Jesse’s company.

He was standing beside Dale’s battered yellow pickup waiting for her. Without a word, he took her bag and stowed it in the bed of the truck and held the door open for her. She got in. He climbed in after her, taking up more than his share of the bench seat. She scooted farther away.

Dale got in and handed her two white paper bags identical to the one the bus agent had given her. “I got some breakfast burritos for us to eat on the road.” The aroma of toasted tortillas, sausage, grilled peppers and onions filled the air in the small cab, making her stomach rumble ominously. Her morning sickness was more like any-time-of-the-day sickness. It struck without warning. She handed one of the bags to Jesse and swallowed hard, hoping she wouldn’t get sick.

Dale kept up a steady line of chatter as he drove northward on the highway. Jesse ate his meal in silence. He took a swig from a bottle of water, recapped it and put it back in the bag. “Aren’t you going to eat yours?” Jesse nodded toward the paper sack on her lap.

“I’m not hungry. You are welcome to it.”

“Danki.” He took the offered bag and finished off her burrito.

Dale chuckled. “He’s a big man with a big appetite. It must cost a fortune to keep him fed. No wonder he hasn’t found a wife. The poor woman would never get out of the kitchen.”

The heat of a blush rose up her neck and across her cheeks. She cast a covert glance at Jesse. He was staring straight ahead. A muscle twitched in his clenched jaw. He hadn’t forgotten their last conversation.

After weeks of dropping hints about her feelings for Jesse and her desire to get married, she had finally confronted him point-blank and proposed marriage with disastrous consequences. He’d laughed at her and told her to go home. She had countered by confessing her love and throwing herself into his arms. He’d abruptly put her aside. The scowl on his face and his words still echoed in her mind.

You’re not in love with me. You’re a foolish, spoiled baby looking for trouble. One day you will find it unless you learn humility.

She wasn’t proud of her reaction. She said things she hadn’t meant, but she was sure Jesse had meant what he said. He’d walked away, shaking his head, leaving her crushed and fuming. Her humiliation had been complete when she learned some of her friends had overheard their conversation. Her parents had been appalled as the gossip quickly spread. Rather than face it down, after a few months she had packed up and moved to Florida to start a new life.

The sad part was that she really had liked Jesse. It was knowing that he had been disgusted by her behavior that hurt the most.

She dared a glance at him, but his attention was focused out the passenger’s side window. She clutched the front of her cloak and sat quietly beside him as Dale chatted away about his ex-wife and her poor cooking.

About thirty minutes into their trip, it began snowing heavily. Fat flakes smashed themselves against the windshield and were swept away by the wipers. As the snow became thicker, Dale grew quieter and concentrated on his driving.

Ahead of them were several semi–tractor trailers. Dale hung back to keep out of their spray. Suddenly the last truck in line went into a skid on the bridge ahead. The rig jackknifed and clipped the rear end of the truck in front of it as it tipped over. The sound of screeching metal reached her as both trucks hit the sides of the bridge. Dale maneuvered his pickup off to the side of the road. Both men got out. Gemma saw the flickering of flames through the windshield that was being quickly covered with snow.

Jesse paused to look at her. “Stay put.” He slammed the door shut and jogged away with Dale into the snow.

Gemma had no idea how long she sat in the truck. She prayed silently for all the people involved. The sirens of rescue vehicles announced their arrival before they pulled up alongside her. With police and firefighters on the scene, Dale and Jesse finally returned to the vehicle.

“Is everyone all right?” she asked Jesse as he opened his door.

“Both drivers survived.”

Dale knocked the snow off his boots before climbing in behind the wheel. “That is a mess. The bridge will be closed for hours yet. You should’ve seen Jesse pull the door open on that tipped-over cab and lift that fellow out. If it weren’t for him, that guy would be toast.”

Jesse stared straight at her. “Sometimes it pays to be as big as an ox.”

She didn’t know how to reply. He continued to stare at her for a few more seconds, then he looked away. She was left with the feeling that her long-ago comment had hurt his feelings. Had it? She’d only been concerned about her own humiliation at the time.

Not that it mattered. Once news of her condition got out, he would be eternally grateful he had avoided her bumbling advances.

* * *

Jesse stared straight ahead. He had given Gemma the opportunity to apologize for her painful comments about him. Either she still believed he was big and dumb or she didn’t care about his feelings. She once claimed to love him. If she still harbored tender feelings for him, she was hiding it well. His Amish faith demanded that he forgive anyone who had wounded him. He thought he had done so, but having her so close beside him proved some of his resentment remained.

He had been taunted and ridiculed about his size since his school days. He wasn’t the smartest kid in the class, and he knew it. That only made him try harder. He endured the teasing until one day in the fourth grade he hit his antagonist in the face. Wayne Beachy had ended up with a broken jaw. Filled with remorse, Jesse never allowed his temper to take control again. Enduring teasing was far less traumatic than seeing the results of what his fists could do.

That was why his continued resentment of Gemma Lapp troubled him and why she was never far from his thoughts. He didn’t understand his reaction. He only knew she made him uncomfortably aware of his size and his lack of intelligence. Gemma was tiny compared to him. Her sharp wit had made her a favorite among the young people in New Covenant. It was only after her best friend, Bethany, married Michael Shetler that her wit took on a cutting edge.

He should’ve been glad when she decided to move to Florida, but he hadn’t been. For some unknown reason, he had missed her.

She looked at Dale. “What now? Do we wait here, or do we go back to Cleary?”

“I might have a third option.”

“What?” Jesse asked. He had to get to his bank before the close of business today.

Dale half turned in his seat to face them. “You remember that I told you I used to work for a logging company in this area?”

Jesse nodded. “I remember.”

“About two miles back, there is a logging road that cuts off this highway and goes about twenty miles back into the hills. It comes out on this same highway about twenty-five miles up ahead. I figure it’ll be rough in places, but we’ll lose less than two hours of time, which will be better than sitting here waiting for the bridge to be cleared. What do you think?”

“What about the weather?” Jesse asked.

“The snow is letting up. We’ll stay ahead of it.”

“I say go for it,” Gemma said. Clearly the last thing she wanted to do was spend more time than necessary with him.

“What do you say, Jesse?” Dale asked.

“I’ve got to get home by this afternoon.”

Dale grinned and turned the pickup around. “All right, folks. We are about to see some fabulous Maine backcountry wilderness.”

* * *

Dale had been right. Not about the weather, the snow continued, but about the beautiful scenery and the road being rough. It was more of a trail than an actual road. As they bounced along the narrow track through towering pine trees, Jesse and Gemma were constantly tossed against each other. He had been in many uncomfortable situations in his life but none as uncomfortable as trying to remain indifferent to the little woman continually apologizing for jamming her elbow or her shoulder into his side.

She wasn’t doing it on purpose, but that didn’t make it any more comfortable. He was tempted to slip his arm around her and pull her tight against him, but he didn’t. She might think he was trying to take advantage of the situation.

They reached a more open area, and Dale picked up speed. Suddenly, a bull moose galloped out into the road directly in front of them. Dale swerved. Jesse threw his arm across Gemma as he braced for the impact. The moose sprang forward at the last second. Dale missed him but lost control of the pickup and careened into the trees. The front wheels hit a large fallen log and stopped abruptly, throwing them all forward. Gemma slipped from under Jesse’s arm and cried out as she hit the floorboard.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, Jesse pushed himself away from the dash and back onto the seat. “Gemma, are you hurt?”

She had ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor. Dale was slumped behind the steering wheel.

Gemma looked up at Jesse with pain-filled eyes. “Something’s wrong with my ankle. I think it may be broken.” She tried to lever herself up. He stopped her with a hand to her shoulder.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“Give me a minute.” She flexed her neck, shrugged her shoulders, then opened and closed her hands. She shut her eyes and pressed a hand to her midsection.

“What is it?” he asked, concerned by her stillness.

Sighing, she held out a hand. “It’s just my left foot. Help me up.”

“How bad is it?” He lifted her gently to the seat. The movement caused her to grit her teeth as a deep frown creased her brow.

“Bad enough, but I think I’ll live. Are you okay?”

“A few bumps and bruises.” His right arm hurt where he had braced it against the dashboard, but it was likely a strain and nothing more. He was a little surprised she had asked.

Turning to the driver, Gemma touched his shoulder. “Dale? Dale, are you okay?”

He moaned and sat back, raising a shaky hand to his head. “I’ll get back to you on that. What happened?”

Jesse rubbed his shoulder. “The good news is you missed the moose. The bad news is that you struck something else.” The front end of the truck was tilted up at a fifteen-degree angle.

“Anybody hurt?” Dale blinked rapidly as he tried to focus.

“Gemma thinks her foot is broken. I’m fine. How about you?”

“Other than an aching noggin, I think I’m okay.” He pushed open his door and looked down. “Wow. This is not good.”