Читать книгу Her Triplets' Mistletoe Dad - Patricia Johns - Страница 15

CHAPTER THREE

GABBY CHANGED OUT of her wedding dress and into a pair of jeans and a sweater. That felt better—more like herself. She went downstairs and helped Seth unload the last of the baby supplies from the back of the pickup and brought them into the house. Next, Seth emptied a couple cupboards for her, and over the next hour, Gabby went up and down the stairs at least ten times carrying things to the nursery and taking a peek at the sleeping infants.

Seth was stomping around, not looking exactly welcoming. Three times now, Gabby had put something down and he’d moved it—a bag of baby clothes, containers of formula, her purse…and she was a little worried that he wouldn’t be as able to adjust to her being around here as he claimed. It might be easier to have him out of the house for a while. When he came back, he could reel under the shock all at once.

“You have the week off, right?” Gabby asked as she sank down into a kitchen chair.

“Yep,” he said. “I haven’t taken my vacation time in a while, so Mr. Ross was glad to give it to me.”

So much for having him out from underfoot. It felt different now—it wasn’t the same as before.

“You’re definitely uncomfortable,” she said with a small smile. Might as well face this head-on.

Seth cleared his throat. “I’m used to facing marriage a little differently than this.”

“I know…”

“I mean, my parents had that vicious divorce when I was twelve, so Bonnie and I—” He swallowed. “We really took our marriage seriously. It was top priority. We read marriage books and had our own plan that was supposed to keep us divorce-proof, and now…” He met her gaze. “I’m not sure how to do a marriage like ours. You know?”

“We said this was going to be pragmatic,” she said.

“And it is,” he agreed. “I honestly think this is smart, but I’m not sure how to do this now that we’re…home. There aren’t a lot of books on how to make a practical marriage work.”

Right. Seth and his love of research.

“We should probably talk about money,” she suggested. “You know, now—before there’s any resentment.”

“Probably,” he agreed.

“Obviously, I’ve got to contribute,” she said. “I could get my aunt to watch the boys while I work part-time somewhere. With them so young, it would be hard to do more than part-time, but—”

“No.” His tone was closer to a growl, and she stopped, surprised.

“No, what?” she asked.

“No, you don’t have to work. Three newborns are enough on your plate, and I didn’t do this expecting you to pay me back.”

“Yes, but I still need to contribute,” she countered. “Realistically speaking—”

“How about…” he interrupted, and she saw the discomfort on his face. “With some cooking and stuff?”

“Are you asking me to be a housewife?” she asked, expecting to laugh when he did.

“Yes?” He smiled bashfully. “I know this marriage is a practical one, but it’s been a hell of a long time since I’ve come home to a hot meal.”

“A housewife…” She rolled that thought around in her mind, and found that it felt rather nice at the moment. She could spend her days raising her boys and taking care of this farmhouse…

“I’m not sure you’d actually like that,” she countered. “I’d change things.”

“Hmm.” It sounded more like a grunt, and when she searched his face for a reaction, all she saw was granite. He was hiding his feelings from her—something she’d never cared too much about before, but it wouldn’t make living together easy if she couldn’t read him.

“I’d rearrange stuff,” she pressed on. “I’d cook food that I like, and I’d probably want to paint some walls, or plant a garden, or—or…” She cast about, searching for the sorts of things that would occur to her, and she’d be halfway through before Seth even got to voice an opinion. “I might want to decorate for the holidays.”

“Not yet,” he said with a sigh. “No painting. No rearranging. I like things the way they are. Just for now. For a while.”

So she was a houseguest, not a housewife. Good to know. He met her gaze with a hesitant smile. The sparkle in his eye made her breath catch ever so slightly, though, and she broke eye contact.

“Hey, we’re making some ground rules here,” he went on. “So if you’ve got something that’s nonnegotiable, now’s the time to put it out there.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’m not waiting on you hand and foot. That’s something I won’t budge on. I’m technically your wife, but I’m not your servant.”

Seth grinned. “I never thought that was an option, Gabs.”

“No slipper-fetching or reverence in your presence,” she said, only halfway joking. “I’m not standing by with a plate of food warmed in the oven. So if that was in the back of your mind, you might want to encourage me to find a job to contribute financially.”

“Gabby.” He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. His dark gaze met hers and pinned her to the spot. She could make out the sandpaper of his stubble across his chin, and the few gray hairs that had worked their way into his beard. His hand moved slowly around her palm as if he didn’t even realize how he was touching her—an absentminded kind of caress from a man who’d been married before. “You aren’t that good of a cook.”

That broke the moment, and she pulled her hand back with a laugh. “I’m better than nothing, you lout.”

Seth seemed to realize how he’d touched her, and he closed his fingers into a fist, flattening his lips. “I’m just saying. We can make this work, but don’t stress about me expecting you to be a servant. You know me.”

Gabby did know him, but she’d never been married to him before. And when he was married, Bonnie had kept Gabby at a good distance. She hadn’t seen too much of them. Maybe Gabby was worrying for nothing. He was offering a great deal here, and he’d already made it possible for her to feed her boys without worry. Now he was letting her raise them without worry, too. Maybe she felt a little guilty for all she was getting from this deal. She could do something in return, and maybe she wasn’t entirely closed to the idea of keeping some food warm for him in the oven…

“I’ll probably be cleaning up and stuff while you’re working,” she said. “Anything you don’t want me to touch—like at all?”

“My bedroom.”

There was a finality in his tone that sobered her, and she nodded quickly. He was giving her access to the house, but not to his private space. It was fair, but it also drew a solid line.

“Okay,” she said quietly. “I leave your bedroom alone. And I won’t change too much around here. I’m just warning you. I’m here. I’ll…leave a mark, I guess.”

“Yeah,” he said, his gaze meeting hers again. “You’re right. Look, I know you’ll change a few things. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll adjust.”

It was good to talk this stuff out. They had a friendship worth protecting, and marriage was going to complicate that.

“We have about an hour before the babies wake,” Gabby said. “Want to watch TV?”

Seth shrugged. “Sure. Why not.”

It might help to get them back to where they used to be—buddies hanging out, appreciating each other’s humor. Not husband and wife. Maybe in public they’d be the Straights and keep up some sort appearance of romance, but in private, they had to protect their careful balance. Because right now, that balance was the one thing that might help Gabby stay afloat.

“Be right back,” she said. “I’ll just check on the babies.”

SETH PAUSED TO look up the stairs toward the nursery. Outside the kitchen window, the sun was sinking in the west, golden rays pooling on the kitchen floor. This was their first day married, and it was almost over. He felt a weird mix of happiness and guilt at the same time. It felt good to have company in the house again—maybe too good.

He glanced around the kitchen, and it seemed like some of those old memories had dimmed a little, just by having Gabby here, and that felt wrong. Like he was letting Bonnie down. Bonnie deserved to be remembered—vividly. But Gabby was even more vivid right now, the smell of her perfume already seeping into the other scents of the house. Gabby was here. He’d gotten so used to living with a memory that having a woman physically in his home made him uneasy.

And yet, Gabby had always been a good friend, and before Bonnie, when times got tough or one of them had a breakup, they’d always gravitated toward each other again. They built each other back up when life knocked them down. When he’d gotten married that became his wife’s domain, but he’d missed Gabby in his life. Maybe too much; Bonnie hadn’t ever been comfortable with their friendship.

Losing his family was the hardest knock he’d ever experienced. Gabby had been here for the funeral, but she’d had to go back to her life in Denver. So having Gabby here now felt like a bit of salve on a wound that had never healed. It wouldn’t magically cure him, but it would ease the pain somewhat, even while the chaos she and the babies would cause grated on his orderly personality.

His gaze landed on her purse, sitting on the table next to those roses. There had to be somewhere to keep her purse out of sight. He glanced around but didn’t have time to do anything about it, because Gabby’s footsteps came creaking back down the stairs and she emerged into the kitchen again. Her hair tumbled down around her shoulders, and he noted how she carried the extra weight from her pregnancy. She was rounder, softer. The extra padding certainly didn’t hurt.

“All right,” she said, stifling a yawn. “They’re still sleeping soundly.”

Seth pulled his eyes away from her figure. Wife or not, her body wasn’t his business. It never had been.

“So… TV?” Seth asked.

The TV was in the living room. It wasn’t very big; he didn’t tend to watch that much TV, truth be told. He hadn’t spent much time in this house since Bonnie’s death, preferring to be on horseback checking herds and cowboy teams. Horseback riding was something he and Bonnie had never done together, so riding alone was an escape from grief, too. He’d given himself permission to not think about all he’d lost when he was on horseback. He could be present in the moment and just ride.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “I’m exhausted.”

He led the way through to the living room, feeling mildly self-conscious. This was to be her home, too, but it didn’t feel like it yet. This still felt like his turf.

“Still not up to a Christmas tree?” Gabby asked. She sank into the couch—the one spot where you could see the TV without a glare.

Seth sat down next to her, the warmth of her arm surprisingly comforting next to him. “I don’t know. I didn’t feel up to it this year.”

Or last year. He’d obstinately avoided Christmas last year, and he’d refused to decorate at all. It wasn’t like it would cheer him up to sit alone in this house with some tinsel and mistletoe, after all.

Gabby nodded. “Yeah, I get it.”

She’d mentioned wanting to do some holiday decorating, and he eyed her for a moment. Last year, he’d been alone. This year, it wasn’t just him rattling around in the house.

“Maybe a little bit of celebration would be okay. Did you want to put one up?” he asked hesitantly.

“It’ll be the boys’ first Christmas,” she said. “It might be nice.”

Of course—there was more to consider than his own grief this year, and a first Christmas was important. Maybe that was a good thing, because he was getting a little too accustomed to his bare, cold sadness.

“Okay,” he said. “So we’ll get one.”

“I can take care of decorating things around here,” she said. “You know, part of the housewife deal.”

He smiled faintly. “Sure. Okay.” He glanced over at her. “Have you been in contact with the babies’ dad?”

“Nope.”

“He hasn’t reached out to ask about the boys? Nothing?”

Gabby shook her head. “He didn’t come to the hospital, but he did pay the bill for my delivery. From what I understand, his wife found out about me before I found out about her, and she made a few demands—one of which was to cut ties with me completely.”

“Huh.” Seth sucked in a deep breath. “Maybe for the best. For his marriage, at least. Not for the kids.”

“You think so?” she asked curtly, sitting up. “I had no idea he was married! It’s not like I was trying to steal him or something. I think I deserved a few explanations, and if he’d wanted his wife in the room for that, all the better. But frankly, treating me like the bad guy was immature and cruel!”

“Yeah… Yeah…” He blinked at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I guess I just figure you’re better off without him. You know—like a Band-Aid. Just rip it off.”

“I was with him for a full year, Seth.”

“I know.” He swallowed.

“I deserved some closure, at the very least!”

“He deserves to hurt just as much as you do,” he said. “I’m not on his side. I think he’s garbage. And now his wife has him back. If I were her, I wouldn’t be feeling so lucky.”

“Fine…” Gabby leaned back again.

“He owes you, you know,” Seth added.

“I could sue him for child support, I suppose,” she said. “But then I’d have to let him—and his pissed-off wife—into the boys’ lives, and I’m not interested in that. Is that good for kids, to be around a stepmom who hates them? She’s blaming the wrong person for his unfaithfulness. I wasn’t the problem—he was. He was the one capable of lying to two women at once and getting away with it for a year, but she blames me. So I’m assuming she’d hate them, too, fair or not. And it’s not that I begrudge her that, either…” Color tinged her cheeks, and she dropped her gaze.

“It’s complicated,” he concluded.

“It’s complicated,” she agreed.

“Will you tell the boys the truth about their dad?”

“I’ll have to. Eventually. Right? I mean, I always knew about my dad, even if he wasn’t in my life. It’ll be the same for them.”

Seth picked up the remote and flicked on the TV. There was a commercial with Santa Claus and spilled milk. For paper towels, maybe?

“I feel like an idiot,” Gabby said with a sigh.

“For what?” he asked. “Trusting a guy who was supposed to love you to tell you the truth?”

“Something like that.” She didn’t take her eyes off the screen. “You know my track record with men. I feel dumb for thinking Craig would be any different. I attract one kind.”

“You aim too low,” he said. She always had. She chose cowboys who partied hard and never fully grew up. She was always attracted to the bad boys.

“I had my reasons,” she replied softly.

“Like what?” He adjusted to turn toward her a little bit.

“You have your bedroom, and I have my personal issues,” she replied with a wry smile. “Privacy, Seth.”

He chuckled and turned back toward the TV. He changed the channel a few times. “What do you want to watch?”

“Whatever. I’ll fight for the remote another day.”

Seth flicked the channel another couple times, then he glanced at Gabby.

“You said you don’t want to find someone,” Seth said. “And it might seem kind of late to ask, but why?”

“I always dated loser cowboys before,” she said, glancing toward him. “No offense to your cousin.”

“A fair assessment,” he said.

“With Craig, I was actively trying to break the mold, to go for a better kind of man. And look what that got me. I’m not good at dating, or romance. But Craig… I really loved him. He was perfect—at least he seemed that way. He was sweet, attentive, adoring… I thought I might actually marry him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Turns out he was husband material…just someone else’s.” She sighed. “But I have these boys now, and I seem to be good at being a mom.”

“You’re really good at being a mom,” he confirmed.

“So I’m sticking to that,” she replied. “I don’t need a steady dose of romance and rejection. I just need some calm and a solid friendship.”

Gabby tipped her head against his shoulder and he could feel the warmth of her body pressed against his arm. They used to sit like this when they were both single—a luxury they wouldn’t allow themselves if one of them was romantically connected. So maybe it made sense that they could still sit like this. He reached over and smoothed her honey-gold hair down. Her head felt warm against his palm and she smelled sweet—a mixture of shampoo and that perfume she liked. Touching her head had been an automatic reaction, one rooted in a few years of marriage, he realized. He froze, then pulled his hand back. That was too familiar.

Gabby’s breath slowed and deepened, and he glanced down at her again. Her eyes were shut, and she looked so incredibly tired. They’d had a big day, after all. Getting married, moving in. Who knew how much sleep she got with the triplets eating every two hours? He would let her rest. She obviously needed it, and he craved some quiet.

He flicked through another few channels, then chose an episode of a comedy show he’d recorded on the DVR. The tinny laugh track was just what he needed right now—someone to point out the humor he couldn’t see.

Her head slipped from his shoulder and she jolted, then settled against his shoulder again. This wasn’t the most comfortable position, after all, and he eased his arm free and put it around her so that her cheek rested against his chest instead. She shifted, still sleeping. Yeah, this was better.

But she was closer now, and with his arm around her, his hand rested comfortably on her hip. He pulled it back. That wasn’t going to work, either…

What was with him? This wasn’t the plan; marrying her was supposed to be safe, not tempting. He needed to get up, put some physical distance between them, but she was settled against him now, fast asleep.

It was ironic that their marriage was based on a mutual understanding that they’d keep things platonic. She was counting on him. Gabby had been through a lot, both romantically and physically. She’d been betrayed by her boyfriend and had been struggling to provide for her children. She’d married Seth for health insurance, not for anything he could offer otherwise. Besides, their arrangement was smarter than most other couples’. Even when he’d married Bonnie, he’d been in for a few jolts and surprises, all because of different expectations and hurt feelings when hearts were involved. His deal with Gabby made more sense. They weren’t going to go over all those bumps and have all those stupid fights that newlyweds normally endured.

“Gabs,” he murmured.

“Hmm…”

She wiped a little trail of drool from the side of her mouth. It was oddly endearing, and he chuckled.

“Shut up,” she muttered. “I haven’t slept a whole night in weeks. You’d drool, too.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said. “Rest here. You deserve some sleep. I’ve got a few things I need to do.”

He eased himself up out of the couch and she slipped down into a more comfortable position to nap. He looked at her for a moment, watching her face relax as she dropped back to sleep before his eyes.

Seth didn’t actually have anything he needed to do, but he had to get out of her space, away from that sweet scent that enveloped her. He needed to get outside to cold air and a clear head.

This was day one of marriage, and so far he thought he’d done pretty well. They’d take some adjusting, but he and Gabby might actually make this plan work. They’d managed to move in together, take care of the babies together, and even talked through some pretty delicate issues like money and bedrooms. There was something to be said for pragmatism, but it lasted only as long as they followed their rules.