Читать книгу Society Wives: Secret Lives - Patricia Kay - Страница 13

“While Johanna has made considerable progress since she first started counseling at Eastwick Cares, she continues to exhibit trust issues,” Lily said as she dictated notes from her last session. “These trust issues are most likely rooted in her sense of abandonment following her parents’ divorce.”

She’d seen it dozens of times, Lily admitted as she looked over her case notes. Too often when a couple divorced it was the children who came away with the most scars. She’d lost count of the times that children like twelve-year-old Johanna Stevenson blamed themselves. And as the family unit dissolved and the parents spent less and less time with their children in order to resume their own social lives, the children lost their sense of security. As a result, children like Johanna Stevenson felt unwanted, unloved and in the way.

Lily thought of her baby and knew she didn’t want her child ever to feel that way. It was the reason she and Jack had agreed to get married in the first place—to provide their baby with a family. Unlike her, her child would grow up knowing it was loved, feeling secure.

“Knock, knock,” Felicity Farnsworth said as she stuck her head inside the door. “Oh, good. I was hoping I’d catch you before you left for lunch,” she said and breezed inside carrying a white zippered dress bag.

“Felicity, I wasn’t expecting you,” Lily told her as she stood.

“I know you weren’t, but I left you a couple of messages and when I didn’t hear back from you, I figured you were too busy to come to me. So I decided to come to you instead.”

“I’m sorry. I did get your messages, but I’ve been kind of busy,” Lily offered even though that was only half true. She hadn’t called primarily because she felt like a fraud having Jack and his family going to so much trouble when the marriage wasn’t a real one.

“Not a problem,” Felicity told her, her green eyes lighting up her face. Once again dressed in black, she had a bright blue butterfly pin perched on her shoulder. A smaller version was anchored in her choppy blond hair. She smiled. “That’s why you hired me—to take care of all the details for you. And this,” she said, indicating the garment bag that bore the name of a bridal boutique, “is a very important detail.”

“Felicity,” Lily began. “Now’s not a good time. I have another appointment due in fifteen minutes.”

“Then I promise to be out of here in ten. I just need you to try this on and see if you like it. It’s your wedding dress.”

“But I don’t need a wedding dress.” The truth is she hadn’t given a thought to buying one. She had just planned on wearing the pale yellow linen suit she’d bought for Easter.

“Every bride needs a wedding dress. And since you’re too busy to shop for one, I picked out one I thought you might like.” She hung the bag on the back of the door and began unzipping it.

“Really, Felicity. This isn’t necessary. I hardly fit the picture of the blushing bride,” Lily reminded her, keenly aware of her protruding stomach.

“Nonsense,” Felicity told her. “If only virgin brides were allowed to wear wedding gowns, there would be very few wedding gowns sold,” she informed her and removed the dress from the bag.

It was beautiful, Lily thought as she stared at the ivory-colored silk gown. The style was simple. The off-the-shoulder neckline had small silken rosettes at each shoulder. The bodice was fitted, then formed an Empire-style waistline that fell to the floor and would conceal her swollen middle.

“I had to guess at the size,” Felicity said as she held the dress up to Lily. “Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Lily said and ran her fingers along the fabric. Then she spied the tag sewn into the dress—Vera Wang—and sucked in a breath. She might not know a Vera Wang from a vintage Dior, but what she did know was that both were very, very expensive. “Felicity, I can’t possibly wear this.”

Felicity’s expression fell. “But I thought you liked it.”

“I do like it. In fact, I love it. It’s one of the most beautiful dresses I’ve ever seen. But I can’t afford it.”

“Oh, that,” she said, waving aside the comment. A smile spread across her face “It’s already been taken care of.”

Lily frowned. “What do you mean it’s been taken care of?” she asked, even though she suspected she knew—Jack had been the one to take care of it.

“Mrs. Cartwright had the bill sent to her.”

It didn’t matter whether it had been Jack or his mother, Lily thought. “I’m sorry, Felicity. I know she means well, but I couldn’t possibly let her pay for it. And since I can’t afford it, I’ll just wear something of my own.”

Felicity sobered. “Lily, I understand you wanting to pay your own way. Really, I do. I was married once and I went through some rough times financially when it ended. It took me a long time to get back on my feet and I had to do it on my own. So I know all about the need to feel independent and responsible for yourself.”

“So you understand why I can’t possibly accept the gown.”

“What I understand is that you’re marrying a very wealthy man and into a very wealthy family. The Cartwrights have a position within the Eastwick community. Whether it’s fair or not, people expect a certain level of style from them.”

Lily felt a tightening in her chest. “And I certainly don’t fit the profile of a wife for Jack Cartwright.”

“You do as far as he’s concerned. I think you could wear a fig leaf and that man would be happy. In fact, he might like it better if you came in a fig leaf.”

Lily laughed, as she was sure Felicity meant her to do. “A fig leaf I can afford.”

“But I’m not sure his family would be thrilled with the choice,” Felicity pointed out.

“So what am I supposed to do? Just let Sandra spend a fortune on a dress for me?”

“No. You’re supposed to let the mother of the man you’re going to marry feel that she did something special for you. I know it may seem superficial, but appearances are important to her. She wants to make you feel like you’re one of them. And this is her way of doing it. It’s important to her that she does this for you. It makes her feel like she’s a part of things, that she’s not losing her son.”

Lily could feel herself relenting. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about embarrassing Jack or herself by wearing something that was too common for the woman who was becoming Mrs. Jack Cartwright. “It really is a beautiful dress.”

“Yes, it is. And I think it’s perfect for you. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Why don’t you try it on and let’s see how it looks. For all we know you could be agonizing over whether or not to accept it as a gift for nothing because you might hate the way it looks on you.”

“I doubt that,” Lily said as she looked at the dress again.

“I brought a couple of different shoe styles in two sizes because I wasn’t sure if you were having any problems with swelling.”

Tearing her eyes from the dress, Lily glanced over and saw the shopping bag by the door. “I can’t believe you went to all this trouble.”

“It’s no trouble. It’s what I do and I have to confess I love it. Besides, your fiancé made me promise that I would make this wedding as stress-free for you as possible.”

“Jack asked you to do that?”

“Mmm-hmm. He said it took some arm-twisting to get you to agree to marry him and he wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

Lily swallowed, unsure what to say.

“Come on, let’s see how it fits,” Felicity said, and after locking the door, she took the dress from Lily and waited for her to undress. Felicity held the dress for Lily to step into. Once she had it on, the other woman pulled up the zipper and then began fussing with the rosettes above each shoulder. When she was satisfied, she stood back. “Oh, Lily,” she said, and brought her palms together. Her expression softened. “You look beautiful. And the ivory color, it looks wonderful against your skin. Do you have a mirror anywhere?”

“In the bathroom through there,” Lily said, indicating the door at the far side of the office.

“Then come, see for yourself.”

Lily went into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. It was the dress. It was beautiful, and it made her look different. She didn’t even look pregnant because the design camouflaged her stomach. The off-the-shoulder neckline also exposed more of her than she was used to, including more cleavage, she realized, pressing her hand to her chest. She had never had a big bust and at best, her cleavage had been attained with the help of miracle bras. But her stomach hadn’t been the only thing that had grown since her pregnancy. And while she would never be as full-figured as Felicity, she definitely had more curves. “You don’t think it shows a little too much?”

“I think it looks perfect on you. Hang on, let me get the shoes.” She disappeared into the other room and came back with the shopping bag, then she took out a box that contained a pair of ivory satin pumps with kitten heels. “Let’s try these.”

Lily slipped her feet into the shoes. They fitted perfectly. The pointed tips peeked out from beneath the skirt.

“How do they feel?” Felicity asked as she stood.

“They feel great.”

“And they look wonderful with the dress.” She smiled again. “You’re going to make a beautiful bride, Lily. I can’t wait to see Jack’s face when he sees you walking down the aisle.”

Lily sobered. She met Felicity’s eyes in the mirror. “You don’t have to pretend. I’m sure you know this marriage isn’t a love match, and that the only reason Jack is marrying me is because I’m pregnant.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“What do you mean?” Lily asked as she slipped off the shoes and took off the wedding dress. She handed the gown to Felicity and retrieved her own clothes.

“I mean that I saw the way Jack was looking at you the other day and it wasn’t the way a man looks at a woman he’s marrying out of duty.”

“You’re mistaken.”

“Am I?” Felicity asked as she returned the wedding gown to the garment bag and zipped it closed. “I’ve been in this business for quite some time now and I’ve seen my share of weddings. Usually I can tell the couples whose marriage is being done out of duty or as a business merger from the ones who are marrying because they love one another. I would have sworn you and Jack were the latter.”

The knock at the door, signaling her next appointment, saved Lily from responding. But as she bid Felicity goodbye and ushered her next client in, she couldn’t help wishing that Felicity were right.

Jack waited impatiently at the front of the garden for the wedding ceremony to begin. Now he knew why people eloped, he thought. The stress leading up to the wedding was enough to cause a body to have a heart attack. Or maybe it was simply the fact that he didn’t quite trust Lily not to run. An eager bride she wasn’t. Despite her signature on the prenuptial agreement and the trusts he’d set up for her and the baby, he wasn’t going to be able to relax until he had that wedding band on her finger.

“I still can’t believe you’re getting married,” Scott Falcon told him in a low voice as he stood beside him to fulfill the duties of the best man.

“Believe it, because it’s happening,” Jack told him. He glanced at his watch and frowned. “Or at least it will be happening if they ever get the ceremony started.”

Scott chuckled beside him. “Never thought I’d see the day when a female tied you up in knots. This Lily must be pretty special.”

“She is,” Jack said. And she was. In the short time he’d known her, each day he’d learned something new about her that told him just how special she was.

“You do realize that by getting married you’re crushing the dreams of half the single women in Eastwick, not to mention the mothers who were hoping to snag you for their daughters?”

“Then it’s a good thing they’ve got your shoulder to cry on, isn’t it?”

Scott smiled. “Always happy to help out a friend.”

And he was a good friend, Jack thought. Pals since grade school, he and Scott had shared adventures, pranks and an occasional girlfriend over the years. Like him, Scott’s family had been among the first settlers in Connecticut and had amassed a sizeable fortune in real estate. A person could hardly walk down a street in Eastwick without seeing the Falcon logo somewhere on it. Scott had been among the very few people who had understood his decision to marry Lily and offered his support.

“Your mother and Felicity did a nice job,” Scott remarked.

“Yes, they did,” Jack responded. Somehow the two women had pulled it off. He didn’t know how much it had cost nor did he care. All that had mattered to him was that they’d put the wedding together in less than a week. He knew from his conversation with Lily that they had found her a gown and shoes. He also knew that Lily had been uncomfortable and reluctant to accept the expensive attire as a gift from his mother. That she had done so, he suspected, had been a concession on her part because she had feared embarrassing him. Of course, it had never crossed his mother’s mind that Lily might object to such a gift. As usual, Sandra had bulldozed ahead and set out to create the perfect wedding for him and Lily.

From the looks of things, she had succeeded. Even the weather had cooperated with his mother’s plans to hold the ceremony outdoors. The temperature was mild and sunshine had replaced the rain that had plagued Eastwick off and on for the past two weeks. He’d caught a peek of the sprawling patio on the south side of the house that had been transformed for the wedding reception. Twinkling lights had been strung from the trees. More flowers decorated the tables and entrances. Two ice sculptures had been placed on tables on either side of the patio. The six-tiered cake decorated with what looked like real flowers sat in the center of one table. He’d counted at least a dozen food stations, including three types of pasta, a prime rib station, grilled shrimp and salmon. Bars had been set up on either end of the patio and he could have sworn there was enough wait staff on hand for a hundredseat restaurant.

Yes, his mother and Felicity Farnsworth had outdone themselves, he thought as he looked around him. In addition to the reception area, they had managed to turn the garden of his parents’ estate into a small wedding chapel. Everywhere he looked there were peach and white roses and lilies. Vases and urns of the blossoms had been placed on the altar, on the piano, at the entrance to the gardens. A white runner formed an aisle between the three dozen chairs arranged in rows on either side. White ribbons with more roses and lilies anchored posts at the end of each row. From where he was standing, it looked as if every seat was filled. He shifted his gaze back to the altar where the minister stood waiting to make him and Lily man and wife.

He was nervous, Jack admitted to himself. Except for that one time years ago, he hadn’t given much thought to marriage. Not that he’d ruled it out. He hadn’t. He liked women. He liked everything about them—the way they looked, the way they smelled, the way they were strong and soft at the same time, the way they were different from men. He enjoyed women. And they seemed to enjoy him. He just hadn’t expected that when he decided to marry he’d find himself standing here wondering whether his bride was going to be a no-show.

When he had suggested he and Lily marry, it had seemed so simple. They had a baby on the way, a child that needed both parents. But now that the day was finally here, he couldn’t help worrying that he had pushed Lily too hard. Oh, he’d known she had reservations and he didn’t blame her. Marriage was a big undertaking and neither of them had had much time to prepare for it. But he was positive that marrying was the right thing for them to do. He’d meant what he’d told Lily. He wanted to be a real father in every way and that meant being a full-time father, not shuffling their child back and forth between its parents. No, he wanted his baby to have what he and his sisters had had—a loving home with both parents. And although the stigma that society had once imposed upon a child born outside of marriage no longer applied, he didn’t want his child or Lily ever to encounter cruelty from the small-minded individuals who would see the baby’s birth as a sin. He wanted to protect the baby and Lily and the best way to do that was through marriage.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling she was going to bolt. He knew she was having second thoughts—probably third and fourth thoughts—about going through with the wedding. It hadn’t taken a giant leap to recognize the signs. She had avoided him at every turn during the past week. Just getting her to look over the documents he’d had drawn up providing her and their baby each with a trust fund had taken some major arm-twisting. It had also bothered him that she had insisted on keeping her apartment until the lease ran out despite his offer to buy out the lease. He hadn’t pushed it because he was already worried about the stress she was under and didn’t want to do anything that would endanger her health or the baby’s. Maybe once the wedding was over and they were living under the same roof, she would grow more comfortable with him and the idea of them being married, he told himself.

“I heard Courtney moved back from New York,” Scott remarked.

Dragging his attention to his friend, Jack said, “Yeah. She came home a couple of weeks ago.”

“She going to stay?”

“I don’t know.” Jack looked over at Scott. Tall like him, Scott was the opposite of him in appearance. Where his own hair was dark and his eyes blue, Scott was blond and his eyes were brown. Like him, Scott had a real appreciation of women, had found himself in more than one woman’s marital sights and had become a master at escaping any serious commitment. He’d been a fixture at the Cartwright house when they’d been growing up and had shared in Jack’s own annoyance with his two younger sisters. Jack hadn’t given much thought to his baby sister’s return home and hadn’t realized Scott had either. So he asked, “What makes you ask?”

“No reason,” Scott said and looked away.

They fell silent and Jack’s thoughts returned once more to Lily. He looked at his watch again. As the minutes ticked by, he grew more and more anxious. “You got the ring?” he asked Scott.

Scott patted his pocket. “Right here.” He paused. “I’ve never seen you so nervous before. You sure about this, Jack?”

“I’m sure,” he told his friend, because he knew he was doing what was best for everyone. Now all they needed was the bride.

When the violinist began playing, Jack turned and looked at the end of the aisle where his sister Courtney stood under the arbor of flowers. Dressed in a peach-colored dress and holding a small bouquet of peach roses and lilies, she started down the aisle with a smile on her face. When Courtney was about midway down the aisle, his sister Elizabeth stepped under the arbor. Since Lily hadn’t been able to think of anyone to ask to be her maid of honor, his youngest sister had volunteered herself for the job. Lily, apparently not wanting Elizabeth to feel left out, had suggested both of his sisters serve as attendants. It was a decision that had pleased both his sisters and his mother—and him because he wanted Lily to feel that she was truly a part of his family now. Once his sisters had reached the altar and taken their places, the first notes of the wedding march rang out.

Both anxious and excited, Jack turned his gaze once more to the entrance at the rear of the gardens. This is it, he told himself as he waited for Lily to appear beneath the flower arbor and walk down the aisle to become his wife. Several seconds went by, but there was no Lily. The first notes of the bridal march were played again. And still there was no Lily.

Jack tensed, his first thought that he’d been right to worry. He’d pushed her too hard, and, just as he’d feared, she’d decided not to go through with the wedding. His second thought was that something had happened to her, that maybe she’d slipped on the stone floor inside the house and was hurt. It was that last thought, imagining Lily hurt, that had him starting to leave the altar to find her.

“Hang on,” Scott whispered, gripping his arm before he could go. He motioned for him to look at the rear of the guest seats where Felicity was signaling to him to give her a minute. The blonde disappeared, evidently going through the side door of the house to where Lily was supposed to be waiting.

Jack could hear the murmurs among the guests, the shifting in their seats, and he saw the anxious look on his mother’s face. Damn it. They just should have eloped, he reasoned. If they had, Lily wouldn’t have had time to think about changing her mind.

And if she has changed her mind? What are you going to do?

He was going to change it back, he told himself. He couldn’t afford not to. Looking at his watch, he decided to give Felicity five minutes and then he was going to do just that.

“Relax,” Scott told him. “She probably broke a nail or got a run in her stocking. You know how women are about those things.”

He did know how women were. A broken nail or a run in a stocking would have sent his mother and his sister Courtney and probably half the women he’d dated into a frenzy. But not Lily. Lily was not most women. He’d sensed that the night of the ball. It was one of the reasons, he knew, that he’d given a woman whose name he didn’t know the key to his hotel room. It was also the reason that he hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind since that night.

Granted, the only reason he had suggested they get married was because she was pregnant with his child. He’d never been a man to shirk responsibility. He had no intention of doing so now. Lily and the baby were his responsibility now. But if he was going to be completely honest with himself he didn’t find the idea unappealing. There had been something special between them that night at the ball—something that went beyond the good sex. Whatever that something was, it would be enough to start with because he didn’t intend to lose her again.

She couldn’t go through with it, Lily told herself as she stood in front of the vanity in the powder room of the Cartwright mansion. She stared at the woman in the mirror. That woman looked like a real bride. The wedding gown was beautiful. So were the shoes. Her hair had been swept up into an elegant French twist with wisps arranged around her face. Courtney had performed miracles with the paints and polishes and brushes, making Lily’s skin look creamy, her eyes bright and her cheekbones those of a model. She touched the strand of pearls with the diamond clasp at her throat and noted the matching earrings. Both were wedding gifts from Jack. “For my bride,” he’d told her when he’d given them to her the previous evening.

Wedding gifts for a bride. Even the bouquet of white roses and lilies looked as if they belonged to a bride. No question about it. The woman looking back at her in the mirror certainly looked like a real, honest-to-goodness bride.

Only she wasn’t a real bride. She was a fake.

And she absolutely, positively couldn’t go through with the wedding.

When Jack had suggested that they get married, it had all seemed to make sense. After all, he was the baby’s father and she had wanted her baby to have a real home with two parents. It had also made sense when he’d told her that shuffling the child between the two of them wouldn’t work. She’d seen firsthand how tough shuffling between parents could be on a child. She hadn’t wanted that for her baby. And as Jack Cartwright’s wife, she could be assured that her child would have the loving home she had never had.

Only now that the day was here, she simply could not go through with it. She didn’t love Jack Cartwright and he didn’t love her. And when two people got married it should be because they loved one another, not because their hormones had run amok one night and resulted in a pregnancy. While she understood Jack feeling he needed to take responsibility, he didn’t need to marry her to do it. The man deserved a happy life with someone he loved. So did she. They could still love their baby, be good parents and provide a stable, loving home without making such a colossal mistake. Because going through with this marriage would be just that, she reasoned—a colossal mistake.

The first notes of the bridal march started and panic began to swim in her blood. She had to get out of here. Maybe she could slip out the powder room, make it out the front door and hightail it to the main road and try to find a taxi. Jack would understand. Shoot, he’d probably be relieved, she told herself as she turned and moved as quickly as she could with a ten-pound ball around her middle. She had almost reached the door when it burst open and in flew Felicity.

“Lily, didn’t you hear your cue?”

“Yes, I did. Felicity, I—“

“Where’s your bouquet?” she demanded and swept her gaze over the room to the dressing table. She scooped it up, stuck it in Lily’s hands. After fussing with her hair for a moment, Felicity stepped back. “You look gorgeous. And wait until you see your groom. The man should live in a tux.”

“Felicity—“

“Listen, there’s your cue again,” Felicity told her.

Lily’s hands began to shake, but evidently Felicity didn’t notice that the roses and lilies were trembling like the leaves on an aspen in a windstorm. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“Sure you can,” Felicity insisted and straightened the skirt of her gown. She gave her a quick hug and a smile. “Just take a deep breath and think of Jack.” And before she could say another word, Felicity flew out the door as quickly as she had blown in.

The first notes of the bridal march started for the third time and Lily couldn’t move. She stood frozen in the powder room and wished she was Samantha from the old Bewitched TV show so she could wiggle her nose and disappear. She was still standing there wondering if she was going to be sick when the door to the powder room opened again. Only this time it was Jack who came in.

Her first crazy thought was that Felicity had been right. The man really should live in a tux. The black jacket made his shoulders look broad, his height towering. His black hair was thick, his blue eyes as dark as steel. His jawline was strong, his mouth almost elegant. There was something solid and commanding and, at the same time, dangerous about him—the very things that had drawn her to him that night at the ball.

“I wasn’t sure if you remembered to check your calendar this morning,” he said, his voice casual. “But according to mine, we’re supposed to be getting married right about now.”

“I didn’t forget,” Lily told him. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him and into his eyes. “I’m sorry, Jack. I know how much trouble you and your family have gone to, but I can’t go through with it. I just can’t.”

“I see.”

I see?

It wasn’t the response she had expected. In truth, she had expected him to be angry. After all, the man had gone to a great deal of trouble and expense to arrange the wedding. He had at least three dozen family members and friends sitting outside waiting to see him take her as his bride. He’d even given her his grandmother’s ring. No question about it, Jack Cartwright had every right to be downright furious with her. Only instead of being angry, he took the bridal bouquet she was clutching in her still unsteady hands and placed it on the dressing table. Then he took her by the hand and led her to the bench by the wall.

“Why don’t we sit down a minute?”

She did as he suggested and said, “I’m not going to change my mind, Jack. I’m sorry, but I simply can’t go through with it. I can’t marry you.”

“All right,” he told her. He sat down beside her, took her other hand and held it in his. “So is there any particular reason you don’t want to marry me?” he asked calmly. And before she could find her voice, he continued, “Is it my nose? I broke it playing football in college and it never did heal quite right. Maybe you don’t want to be married to a man with an ugly nose.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your nose. It’s beautiful.”

“The hair then. You probably noticed that I’m starting to get a few gray hairs right around the temples. I know some women find that a turn-off—“

“There’s nothing wrong with your hair. It looks great. You look great,” she insisted.

“Hmm. It isn’t because I’m a lawyer, is it? I mean, I’ve heard all the lawyer jokes and I know we’re not the most popular people.”

He was deliberately being absurd to calm her, she realized. “It’s not any of those things. You’re handsome, charming, kind and one of the nicest men I’ve ever known.”

Jack winced. “You make me sound like my grandfather. I’d much prefer you thought I was sexy.”

Her lips twitched. “I do think you’re sexy—which you already know. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“But we are in this situation,” he said. “In four months, we’re going to be parents. And I thought we agreed that for the baby’s sake, we should get married.”

“I know we did. But we were wrong. I was wrong,” she told him and, unable to sit still, she stood. “I should never have agreed to it. It’s crazy to think this marriage would ever work. I don’t know what I was thinking to have agreed to it in the first place.”

“You were thinking about what’s best for our baby.” He rose and came up behind her. “Our baby needs a mother and a father, Lily.”

“He or she will have a mother and a father,” she insisted. “We don’t have to be married to be good parents. Lots of couples raise children without being husband and wife.”

“We already covered this, Lily. Neither of us wants our child to grow up being shuffled from one house to the other, splitting time between Mom and Dad on holidays and weekends. I want our baby to have a real home, a real family. I want our baby to have what you never had. I thought you did, too.”

She hated that he was right. She did want that type of home for her baby. She wanted the picture-perfect home for her baby that she’d always longed for, but had never known. The kind of home she’d read about in books when she was a girl where children were loved and felt secure. She wanted to sit at the dinner table together as a family, to decorate the Christmas tree as a family, to bake cookies together and have picnics in the backyard. She wanted her child to have a family and never, ever feel alone as she had. “I do want those things. Making sure my baby feels loved and secure it’s … it’s what’s most important to me.”

“To me, too. And we can make sure our baby is loved and secure by providing him or her with a real home with both of its parents.” He placed his hands on her shoulders, turned her to face him. “Our child can have that, Lily. All you have to do is marry me.”

He made it sound so easy, so logical. But it wasn’t. She knew it wasn’t. “What about love, Jack? You know you don’t love me.” And that was the problem. She couldn’t let go of the idea that she wanted to marry for love.

“And you don’t love me. But we both love our baby,” he pointed out.

“But what if that’s not enough? We’ll be trapped in a loveless marriage.”

“I don’t see marriage to you as a trap. I see it as a gift. I’ll be getting a smart, beautiful wife and the mother of my child.”

“And love? Don’t you even believe in love, Jack?”

“There are all kinds of love. Love of family, love of a parent and child, love of a friend.”

“What about love between a man and a woman, a husband and wife? Don’t you believe in that?” she asked. “Don’t you want that?”

“I believe that there are some people, like my parents, who find that kind of connection. I don’t know if it starts out that way or if it’s something that grows over time out of respect and caring for one another. What I do believe in is the power of hormones between a man and a woman,” he told her. He drew his fingertip down her cheek and Lily could feel her already nervous stomach flutter at his touch. “I still want you, Lily. And I think you want me.”

She swallowed past the knot that seemed to have lodged in her throat. “You’re talking about meaningless sex.”

“I’m talking about desire, passion. It’s still there between us. Just like it was that night.”

It was true, Lily admitted silently. The pull between them that had drawn her to him that night and that had led her to breaking all her personal rules by sleeping with him was still there. In fact, it was even stronger now that she’d gotten to know him better. “What if desire isn’t enough to make it work?”

“It’s more than a lot of people have,” he said. “I think we owe it to our baby to at least try.”

Once again he made the whole thing sound so simple, so logical. Jack was a good man, an honest man and she had no doubt that he would be a good father to their child. Yet, it felt wrong to start any marriage this way.

“It’s your call, Lily. You know how I feel, that I think the two of us marrying is the right thing to do for our baby’s sake. So what’s it going to be? Should I go out there and tell everyone that the bride has changed her mind and there isn’t going to be a wedding after all? Or do I go out there and tell the minister to get the show on the road before the ice sculptures melt?”

She took a deep breath and met his gaze. “Tell the minister to get the show on the road,” she told him.

“You won’t be sorry, Lily. I promise.”

She certainly hoped Jack was right, she thought as he disappeared out the door. When she heard the bridal march start once again, Lily picked up her bouquet. As she exited the powder room and started toward the garden where she would pledge to become Jack Cartwright’s wife, she prayed she wasn’t making a mistake that both of them would live to regret.