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Chapter Three

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“You are so beautiful,” Katie whispered. Tears blurred her vision and she rapidly blinked them away.

Propped up with pillows against the headboard of her borrowed bed, she drew her fingers gently across the face of her daughter where she lay nestled in the crook of her arm. Her little head was covered in dark hair. Her eyelashes lay like tiny curved spikes against her cheeks. She was the most beautiful thing Katie had ever seen.

Amber Bradley, the midwife, moved about the other side of the room, quietly putting her things away. Katie had been a little surprised that the midwife wasn’t Amish. That the women of the district trusted an outsider spoke volumes for Amber. She was both kind and competent, as Katie had discovered.

When Amber came over to the bed at last, she sat gently on the edge and asked, “Shall I take her now? You really do need some rest.”

“Can I hold her just a little longer?” Katie didn’t want to give her baby over to anyone. Not yet. The joy of holding her own child was too new, too wonderful to allow it to end.

Amber smiled and nodded. “All right, but I do need to check her over more completely before I go. We didn’t have a lot of time to discuss your plans. Maybe we can do that now.”

Reality poked its ugly head back into Katie’s mind. Her plans hadn’t changed. They had simply been delayed. “I intend to go to my brother’s house.”

“Does he live close by?”

“No. Mr. Sutter said Malachi has moved to Kansas.”

“I see. That’s a long way to travel with a newborn.”

Especially for someone who had no money. And now she owed the midwife, as well. All Katie could do was be honest with Amber. She glanced up at the nurse. “I’m grateful you came tonight, but I’m sorry I can’t pay you right now. I will, I promise. As soon as I get a job.”

“I’m not worried about that. The Amish always pay their bills. In fact, they’re much more prompt than any insurance company I’ve dealt with.”

Katie looked down at her daughter. “I’m not Amish. Not anymore.”

“Don’t be worrying about my fee. Just enjoy that beautiful baby. I’ll send a bill in a few days and you can pay me when you’re able.”

The outside door opened and Nettie rushed in carrying a large, oval wooden basket. She was followed by Elam. He paused long enough to hang his coat and hat by the door, then he approached the bed. “I heard it’s a fine, healthy girl. Congratulations, Katie Lantz.”

“Thank you.” She proudly pulled back the corner of the receiving blanket, a gift from Amber, to show Elam her little girl.

He moved closer and leaned down, but kept his hands tucked in the front pockets of his pants. “Ach, she’s wundascheen!”

“Thank you. I think she’s beautiful, too.” Katie planted a kiss on her daughter’s head.

Nettie set the basket on the table, folded her arms over her ample chest and grinned. “Jah, she looks like her Mama with all that black hair.”

Reaching out hesitantly, Elam touched the baby’s tiny fist. “Have you given her a name?”

“Rachel Ann. It was my mother’s name.”

Nodding his satisfaction, he straightened and shoved his hand back in his pocket. “It’s a goot name. A plain name.”

Katie blinked back sudden tears as she gazed at her daughter. Even though they would have to live with Malachi for a while, Rachel would not be raised Amish as Katie’s mother had been. Why did that make her feel sad?

Amber rose from her place at the foot of the bed. “I see you’ve got a solution for where this little one is going to sleep, Nettie.”

“My daughter, Mary, is expecting in a few months. She has my old cradle, but a folded quilt will make this a comfortable bed for Rachel. What do you think, Katie?”

“I think it will do fine.” All of the sudden, Katie was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open.

“I will make a bassinet for her,” Elam offered quickly. “It won’t take any time at all.”

Overwhelmed, Katie said, “You’ve been so kind already, Mr. Sutter. How can I ever thank you?”

“Someday, you will do a kindness for someone in need. That will be my thanks,” he replied, soft and low so that only she could hear him.

Katie studied his face in the lamplight. It was the first time she had really looked at him. He was probably twenty-five years old. Most Amish men his age were married with one or two children already. She wondered why he was still single. He was certainly handsome enough to please any young woman. His hair, sable-brown and thick, held a touch of unruly curl where it brushed the back of his collar.

His face, unlike his hair, was all chiseled angles and planes, from his broad forehead to his high cheekbones. That, coupled with a straight, no-nonsense nose, gave him a look of harshness. Until she noticed his eyes. Soft sky-blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled as he was smiling now at the sight of Rachel’s pink bow mouth opened in a wide yawn.

“Looks like someone is ready to try out her new bed.” He stepped back as Amber came to take Rachel from Katie.

“I know her mother could use some rest,” Amber stated with a stern glance in Katie’s direction.

Katie nodded in agreement, but she didn’t want to sleep. “If I close my eyes for a few minutes, that’s all I need.”

“You’re going to need much more than that,” Nettie declared, placing the quilt-lined basket on a kitchen chair beside Katie’s bed.

Amber laid the baby on the table and unwrapped her enough to listen to her heart and lungs with a stethoscope. Katie couldn’t close her eyes until she knew all was well. After finishing her examination, Amber rewrapped the baby tightly and laid her in the basket. “Everything looks good, but I’ll be back to check on her tomorrow, and you, too, Mommy. I’ll also draw a little blood from her heel tomorrow. The state requires certain tests on all newborns. You’ll get the results in a few weeks. I can tell you’re tired, Katie. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

Katie scooted down under the covers and rolled to her side so that she could see her daughter. “Will she be warm enough?”

“She’ll be fine. We’ll keep the stove going all night,” Nettie promised.

“She’s so sweet. I can’t believe how much I love her already.” Sleep pulled Katie’s eyelids lower. She fought it, afraid if she slept she would wake and find it all had been a dream.

The murmur of voices reached her. She heard her name mentioned and struggled to understand what was being said.

“I’m worried about Katie.” It was Amber talking.

“Why?” came Elam’s deep voice.

Opening her eyes, Katie saw that everyone had gone into the living room. She strained to hear them.

Amber said, “It’s clear she hasn’t been eating well for some time. Plus, her blood loss was heavier than I like to see. Physically, she’s very run-down.”

“Do you think she should go to the hospital?” Elam asked. Katie heard the worry behind his words.

He was concerned about her. She smiled at the thought. It had been a long time since anyone had worried about her. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

Concerned for his unexpected guest’s health, Elam glanced from the kitchen door to the nurse standing beside his mother.

Amber shook her head. “I don’t think she needs to go to the hospital, but I do think she should take it easy for a few days. She needs good hearty food, lots of rest and plenty of fluids. I understand she was on her way to her brother’s home?”

“Jah,” Nettie said. “When she realized he wasn’t here, she said she was going to the bus station.”

Amber scowled and crossed her arms. “She shouldn’t travel for a while. Not for at least a week, maybe two. If having her here is an inconvenience, I can try to make other arrangements in town until her family can send someone for her.”

Elam could see his mother struggling to hold back her opinion. He was the man of the house. It would have to be his decision.

At least that was the way it was supposed to work, but he had learned a valuable lesson about women from his father. His dat used to say, “Women get their way by one means or another, son. Make a woman mad only if you’re willing to eat burnt bread until she decides otherwise. The man who tells you he’s in charge in his own house will lie about other things, too.”

His father had been wise about so many things and yet so foolish in the end.

Elam’s mother might want Katie to remain with them, but Elam was hesitant about the idea. The last thing he needed was to stir up trouble in his new church district. Katie wasn’t a member of his family. She had turned her back on her Amish upbringing. Her presence might even prompt unwanted gossip. His family had endured enough of that.

“I certainly wouldn’t mind having another woman in the house.” It seemed his mother couldn’t be silent for long.

This wasn’t a discussion he wanted to have in front of an outsider. He said, “Nothing can be done tonight. We’ll talk it over with Katie in the morning.”

The faint smile that played across Nettie’s lips told him she’d already made up her mind. “The woman needs help. It’s our Christian duty to care for her and that precious baby.”

Mustering a stern tone, he said, “You don’t fool me, Mamm. I saw how excited you were to tell me it was a little girl. The way you came running out to the barn, I thought the house must be on fire. You’re just happy to have a new baby in the house. I’ve heard you telling your friends that you’re hoping Mary’s next one is a girl.”

His mother raised one finger toward the ceiling. “Gott has given me five fine grandsons. I’m not complaining. I pray only that my daughters have more healthy children. If one or two should be girls—that is Gotte wille, too, and fine with me. Just as it was Gotte wille that Katie and her baby came to us.”

Her logic was something Elam couldn’t argue with. He turned to the nurse. “She can stay here until her family comes to fetch her if that is what she wants. She can write to Malachi in the morning and tell him that she’s here.”

Amber looked relieved. “Wonderful. That’s settled, then.”

For Malachi’s sake and for Katie’s, Elam prayed that she was prepared to mend her ways and come back to the Amish. If she was sincere about returning, the church members would welcome her back with open arms.

Amber gathered up her bag. “I’ll come by late tomorrow afternoon to check on both of my patients. I’m going to leave some powdered infant formula with you in case the nursing doesn’t go well, but I’m sure you won’t need it. Please don’t hesitate to send for me if you think something is wrong. Mrs. Sutter, I’m sure you know what to look for.”

“Thank you for coming, Miss Bradley.”

“Thank you for calling me.”

Elam hesitated, then said, “About your bill.”

She waved his concern aside. “Katie and I have already discussed it.”

After she left, a calm settled over the house. Nettie tried to hide a yawn, but Elam saw it. The clock on the wall said it was nearly two in the morning. At least it was the off Sunday and they would not have to travel to services in the morning. “Go to bed, Mamm.”

“No, I’m going to sleep here in my chair in case Katie or the baby needs me.”

He knew better than to argue with her. “I’ll get a quilt and a pillow from your room.”

“Thank you, Elam. You are a good son.”

A few minutes later he returned with the bedding and handed it to her. As she settled herself in her favorite brown wingback chair, he moved a footstool in front of it and helped her prop up her feet, then tucked the blanket under them. She sighed heavily and set her glasses on the small, oval reading table beside her.

When he was sure she was comfortable, he quietly walked back into the kitchen. Before heading upstairs to his room, he checked the fire in the stove. It had died down to glowing red coals. The wood box beside it was almost empty. The women must have used most of it keeping the room warm for Katie’s delivery. Glancing toward the bed in the corner, he watched Katie sleeping huddled beneath a blue-and-green patterned quilt.

She looked so small and alone.

Only she wasn’t alone. Her baby slept on a chair beside the bed in one of his baskets. And what of the child’s father? Katie had said he didn’t care about them, but what man would not care that he had such a beautiful daughter? There was a lot Elam didn’t know about his surprise guest, but answers would have to wait until morning.

Quietly slipping into his coat, he eased the door open and went out to fetch more wood. He paused on the front steps to admire the view. A three-quarter moon sent its bright light across the farmyard, making the trees and buildings cast sharp black shadows over the snow. High in the night sky, the stars twinkled as if in competition with the sparkling landscape.

Elam shook his head. He was being fanciful again. It was a habit he tried hard to break. Still, it had to be good for a man to stop and admire the handiwork of God. Why else did he have eyes to see and ears to hear?

Elam’s breath rose in the air in frosty puffs as he loaded his arms with wood and returned to the house. He managed to open the door with one hand, but it banged shut behind him. He froze, hoping he hadn’t disturbed his guests or his mother. When no one moved, he blew out the breath he’d been holding and began unloading his burden as quietly as he could.

After adding a few of his logs to the stove, he stoked up the blaze and closed the firebox door. He had taken a half-dozen steps toward the stairs and the bed that was calling to him when the baby started to fuss. He spun around.

Katie stirred but didn’t open her eyes. He could hear his mother’s not-so-soft snoring in the other room. The baby quieted.

He took a step back and grimaced as the floorboard creaked. Immediately, the baby started her soft fussing again. Elam waited, but neither of the women woke. The baby’s cries weren’t loud. Maybe she was just lonely in a strange new place.

He crossed the room. Squatting beside the basket, he rocked it gently. The moonlight spilling in through the kitchen window showed him a tiny face with bright eyes wide open.

“Shh,” he whispered as he rocked her. Rachel showed no inclination to go back to sleep. Her attempts to catch her tight fists in her mouth amused him. What a cute little pumpkin she was. Another of God’s wonders.

Glancing once more at Katie’s pale face, he picked the baby up. She immediately quieted. He crossed the room and sat down at the table. “Let’s let your mama sleep a bit longer.”

He disapproved of the choices this little one’s mother had made, but none of that disapproval spilled over onto this new life. Settling her into the crook of his arm, he marveled at how tiny she was and yet how complete. The cares and worries of his day slipped away. A softness nestled itself around his heart. What would it be like to hold a child of his own? Would he ever know? Rachel yawned and he smiled at her.

“Ah, I was right. You just wanted someone to cuddle you. I know a thing or two about wee ones. You’re not the first babe I’ve held.”

Babies certainly weren’t new to him. He’d rocked nephews aplenty. He raised her slightly to make her more comfortable.

“My sisters think nothing of plopping a babe in my arms so they’re free to help Mamm with canning or gardening, but I know what they’re up to,” he whispered to the cute baby he held.

“They think if I’m reminded how wonderful children are I’ll start going to the Sunday night singings again and court a wife of my own. They don’t see that I’m not ready for that.”

He wasn’t sure he would ever be ready to trust his heart to someone again. If that time did come, it would only be with a woman he was certain shared his love of God and his Plain faith.

“Once burned, twice shy, as the English say,” he confided to his tiny listener.

He waited for the anger to surface but it didn’t. For the first time in over a year he was able to think about his broken engagement without bitterness. Maybe the sweet-smelling babe in his arms had brought with her a measure of God’s peace for him. To her, life was new and good and shouldn’t be tainted with the sins of the past.

He began to sing a soft lullaby in his native tongue. Rachel stared back at him intently for a few minutes, but she eventually grew discontent with his voice and the fingers she couldn’t quite get in her mouth. Her little fussing noises became a full-fledged cry.

“I guess I can’t fix what ails you after all. I reckon I’ll have to wake your mother.”

“I’m awake.” Katie’s low voice came from the bed.

He looked over to find her watching him with dark eyes as beautiful and intense as her daughter’s. How long had she been listening to him?

Katie's Redemption

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