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Chapter Three

“I don’t feel so goot. I don’t think I’m ready to go home.”

Luke suppressed a smile at Roy’s downcast expression as he sat on the edge of the boy’s bed the following morning. Roy looked less like a drowned rat today and more like a fella ready to get up to mischief as soon as Rebecca let him out of bed. Both of them knew better than to make that move without her permission. Luke’s sister-in-law was a force to be reckoned with. She and Emma were cut from the same cloth.

Why hadn’t Rebecca mentioned that Emma was seeing someone? While most Amish sweethearts kept their relationship a tightly guarded secret from the community until the banns were read a few weeks before the wedding, family members usually knew what was going on when a couple became serious. Zachariah’s announcement yesterday had hit Luke like a ton of bricks, although he wasn’t sure why.

That was a lie. He knew why. Emma held a place in his heart that no other woman had been able to fill.

She should marry. Wasn’t that why he had stepped aside all those years ago? Because he wanted her to be happy? He wanted her to build a life in the Amish community where they had grown up. Emma belonged here. She embraced the Amish way of life. It was something he had never been able to do.

All through the rough times when he was on drugs and then behind bars, he imagined Emma living a contented life. He was able to find comfort in that. It had soothed the pain of knowing how poorly he’d treated her. His words that night had been cruel, but they had been for her own good. He knew how much her family was going to need her. He had learned her mother didn’t have long to live, but he had been forbidden to tell anyone, even Emma.

Roy plucked at the covers. “I think I should stay here another day or two.”

“You’re fine. You’re just afraid of what your daed is gonna do.”

“Not daed. Emma. She has a way of looking at you that makes you feel two inches tall.”

“I’ve seen that look. Your daed didn’t seem well when I saw him yesterday.”

“He’s been feeling poorly for a spell, but he saw the doctor yesterday. I’m sure he’ll be better soon.”

“Until then, I reckon that means he needs you and your brother’s help more than ever with the farm chores.”

Roy glanced from beneath his lashes at Luke. “Was he mad at Alvin?”

“A bit. Emma more so.”

“There’s no surprise.” Roy rolled his eyes, forcing Luke to hide another grim.

“Mostly they’re thankful both you boys survived. It was a dumb stunt.”

Roy scowled. “Micah and I watched you ride a snowmobile up and down that river a few years ago.”

“It was a dumb stunt when I did it, too. Micah who?”

“Micah Yoder. We thought it looked like mighty goot fun. He would have enjoyed it.”

“I’m sure he would until he ended up in the water. Not so much fun then, was it? It could easily have been your brother lying here in your place. Or worse. You know that, don’t you?”

A stoic expression settled on Roy’s face. “Ja. I know.”

Luke waited a few moments to let that thought soak in. “Your father mentioned he wants to get some of his equipment ready to sell in the spring. He asked for my help to repair some of his machinery. He offered to hire me for a couple of months.”

Roy’s face split into a wide grin as he scooted up in bed and leaned against the headboard. “Are you gonna take the job? That would be wunderbar.”

“I’m glad you like the idea.” Luke still didn’t know what had come over him. He never should have accepted Zachariah’s offer. He hadn’t even spoken to his own father yet.

“I have so many things to ask you, Luke. You know everything about life in the city and about the things an Amish guy needs to do if he wants to live English. You can teach me that stuff, can’t you? I’m a quick learner.”

A chuckle made Luke look over his shoulder. His brother Samuel stood in the doorway. Samuel’s face still bore the faint scars of the burns he had suffered when their gasoline generator exploded. Luke’s carelessness had contributed to the accident. He knew Samuel had forgiven him, but he had a hard time forgiving himself. His one consolation was that Samuel’s need for a nurse after the accident had brought Rebecca into their lives. Samuel considered Rebecca’s love well worth the pain he had suffered.

Samuel advanced into the room. “Luke can teach you how to get into trouble anywhere, Roy. Amish or Englisch trouble, it doesn’t matter to him. I’d avoid his company if I were you.”

“He sure saved my hide yesterday.”

“And the lesson learned from this?” Luke prompted.

“Don’t take a snowmobile out on the river no matter how thick the ice looks.”

Luke shook his head. He recognized a restless spirit in Roy. It was the same restlessness that had filled him at that age. “The lesson is to stay off snowmobiles and all Englisch machines.”

Roy cast him a sheepish look. “I doubt I’ll get the chance to ride one again since I almost ruined Mr. Morgan’s.”

Luke thumped his finger into Roy’s chest. “It serves you right. Just so you know, Jim Morgan came by to collect his machine. His brother isn’t going to be riding for a while, either. Jim wasn’t happy to hear Brian let you boys ride off without adult supervision.”

Samuel chuckled again. “That is the pot calling the kettle black. You and Jim were always up to no good when the adults weren’t looking. He’s the one who taught you to drive a car when you didn’t have a license.”

Luke frowned at his brother. “You’re not helping, Samuel.”

His brother laughed again. “Daed wants to see you downstairs.”

Luke nodded and rose to his feet. “Okay. I’ll check on you later, Roy. Stay in bed or Rebecca will have your head on a platter and mine, too.”

Luke followed Samuel out of the spare bedroom. In the hallway, Samuel gave him a sidelong glance. “You took a job working for Zachariah? You’re joking, right?”

“I don’t know what happened. I opened my mouth to refuse, but that wasn’t what came out. I agreed to a part-time job for a few months. Maybe more.”

“What were you thinking? Did sticking your head under the ice freeze your pea-size brain?”

“Maybe so.” Until recently, Samuel’s teasing would have made Luke fighting mad, but these days the brothers had come to understand and respect each other.

“There’s no maybe about it. Then again, it will get you out from under my feet.”

“Sammy, you’ll come crawling to find me the second that finicky planer jams again, begging me to fix it.”

“On bended knee. You’re the only one who can coax that machine to do its job. Zachariah might have made a smart move getting you to help him.”

Working for Zachariah was a bad idea for so many reasons. Number one—Emma would hate having him around.

Number two—he already had a job working for his father in the family’s woodworking and gift shop. He wasn’t sure his father could spare him.

Number three—Emma would hate having him around.

His parents were sitting at the kitchen table when he came downstairs. The fact that his mother wasn’t offering him food proved it was going to be a serious talk. His father folded his hands in front of him. “What is this about you taking another job?”

Luke looked back and forth between them. “How did you find out?”

“Rebecca spoke to Emma this morning.”

Luke shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants. The Amish might not use telephones, but that didn’t stop news from spreading like wildfire. “Zachariah talked me into a part-time job working for him. It was a mistake. I’ll tell him I’ve changed my mind or that you can’t spare me.”

“What sort of job is it?” his mother asked.

“He wants help finishing his hardware store before Christmas. It would be mostly simple carpentry, stocking shelves and taking inventory. I don’t think the man knows half of what he has stashed away.”

Samuel rubbed a hand over his new beard, the one he’d started growing after his marriage, and scratched at his chin. “Luke, you suggested that we add a hardware section to our gift shop. I’ve been seriously considering it. Won’t Zachariah be in competition with us?”

Luke’s father snorted. “In all the years I’ve known him, Zachariah Swartzentruber has rarely finished a project he started. He won’t become our competition. I doubt he’ll ever complete his store.”

“Isaac, that is unkind,” his mother said with a sharp-eyed scowl at her mate. “Our neighbor has asked Luke for help. What do you think, Samuel? Can we spare Luke for a few weeks? Don’t forget, your father and I will be gone to Florida for a month after Christmas.”

Samuel fixed his gaze on Luke. “Will you have to notify your parole officer that you have a new job? Working and living here was one of the conditions of your early release, wasn’t it?”

It wasn’t common knowledge that he was still on parole. Only a few people outside the immediate family knew. His parents didn’t like to discuss anything to do with his time in prison. He had caused them enough embarrassment in the community. He was surprised his brother mentioned it in front of them. “I’m not moving, and it would be in addition to my work here, so it shouldn’t make a difference.”

Samuel propped his hands on his hips. “If a neighbor needs help, we must give it. We can spare you, Luke. We’re caught up on our Christmas orders for both the gift shop and the woodshop. Unless we get more than a few rush orders, Timothy, Noah and I can handle your work. As long as you can make any equipment repairs we need.”

“You don’t have to pick up my slack. I’ll tell Zachariah I can’t do it.”

“How is Emma?” his mother asked with a look of innocence.

Suspicious at the abrupt change of topic, Luke shrugged. “Fine as far as I know. Ask Rebecca. She’ll know more than I do.”

“Won’t it be hard for Emma to have you at her home? The two of you were close once. She was broken-hearted when you left.”

His father shook his head. “That was a long time ago, mudder. They were kinder.”

Luke avoided his mother’s sharp gaze. He and Emma hadn’t been children, but they had been too young to know what love was. He tried for an offhand tone. “I’m sure Emma couldn’t care less if I work with her father or not.”

“You are right about that.” A cold voice he recognized came from behind him.

He spun around to see Emma and Rebecca standing in the doorway to the living room. They must have come in through the back door, for both women wore their traveling bonnets and cloaks. Emma had a fixed smile pasted on her face. Rebecca shook her head and glared at him.

His mother rose to her feet. “Emma, how nice to see you. If this arrangement is all right with you, then it’s okay with us. Luke can work for your father.”

Great. Now he was stuck with the job. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe if he and Emma spent some time together they could put the past to rest and start over. He wasn’t expecting friendship, but he hoped for something more civil than the icy stare he was getting at the moment.

“How is Roy?” Rebecca asked, pulling off her bonnet.

“Goot,” Samuel said. “He’s been a better patient than I was.”

She laughed. “That wouldn’t take much. Come, Emma, I’ll show you up to his room. He was very blessed that Luke was able to reach him under the ice and pull him out. I hope he knows that.”

Emma pulled off her bonnet, too, and dropped her gaze to her hands. “I haven’t thanked you for saving his life, Luke.”

“You’re welcome.” He’d dive in a freezing river again if she would just smile at him—say she forgave him.

She didn’t. She left the room and followed Rebecca upstairs.

* * *

“You can’t still be mad at him after all these years.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Emma avoided eye contact with her cousin.

“I saw the look you gave Luke. If your eyes were a frying pan and Luke was an egg, he’d be burned to a crisp.”

“You’re being silly. He’s right. I couldn’t care less about what he does or where he goes.” And that was exactly how she would behave from now on. She wasn’t about to be known as a weak-willed old maid carrying a torch for someone who didn’t love her.

“I’m beginning to think you care more about Luke than you’re letting on.” Rebecca paused to knock on a door halfway down the hall.

“Come in.” Roy’s muffled voice smote Emma’s conscience. She should be worrying about him, not about what Rebecca or anyone else thought of her relationship with Luke.

Emma pushed open the door. Her brother was sitting up in bed with a checkerboard on his legs. Noah, the youngest Bowman son, was sitting beside his bed on a chair. He looked up and smiled. “You have fine timing. He was about to beat me.”

“For the third straight game,” Roy added.

Emma marched up to the bed and propped her hands on her hips. “For someone who cheated death, you look pretty good to me.”

He sank back against the pillows. “I’m still shook up, shveshtah.”

“I hope you are. Your foolishness could have put you in an early grave.”

Rebecca came to her side, her arms crossed over her chest. “He looks a lot better than he did yesterday.”

Emma bent to capture his face between her hands. She planted a kiss on his forehead, which he promptly wiped away. “He looks wunderbar. Can I take him home?”

“Maybe. I need to examine him first. Hold your arms straight out to your sides, Roy.”

He did. She nodded and made a small sound of approval. “Does that hurt?”

“Nee.”

Goot. Open wide and stick out your tongue, but keep your arms up.” He did and she bent closer to examine him. “Now, flap your arms up and down.”

He shot her a quizzical look, but did as she asked.

Rebecca glanced at Emma, but couldn’t keep a straight face. “Does he look like a baby bird getting ready to fly the coop?”

Emma nodded. “He does.”

“Then I think he’s ready to be released.” Rebecca took a step back as Roy glared at her. Noah started laughing and almost fell off his chair.

“Ha! Ha! Very funny, cousin.” Roy tossed his covers back, sending the checkers flying.

“That’s a good one, Rebecca.” Noah slapped his thigh and kept laughing. “I’m gonna call him Birdie Roy from now on. A fella needs a nickname for sure. Birdie Roy. Tweet, tweet.”

Roy fumed at Noah. “I’m going to get dressed. Where are my clothes?”

Mamm washed them. I’ll fetch them for you unless you’ve got a hankering to go sit on the clothesline for a spell. Tweet, tweet.” Noah left the room, still chuckling.

“Now look what you did. I’ll never hear the end of this.” Roy folded his arms over his chest.

“See you later, little cousin.” Laughing, too, Rebecca waved and left the room.

Emma gave her brother a quick hug. “I’m so glad you’re all right. Forgive our teasing.”

“I guess I have to. But if Noah keeps this up, he’s gonna get a snowball in the face the next time he steps outside.”

“Vengeance is not our way,” Emma chided. Roy was still such a child. He would need to grow up so fast once their father was gone. It hurt to think of the pain he would soon go through when he learned the news. Maybe her father was right. Maybe the boys deserved this one last happy Christmas. She would do that for them.

“I’ll put a handful of snow down his back if it will make you feel better,” Luke offered from the doorway. “That’s not vengeance, it’s brotherly love.” He came into the room with a bundle of clothes in his hands. “Mamm sent me up with these.”

Emma’s heart did its funny skip, but she quickly ignored the sensation. “Danki, Luke. As soon as he is dressed, I’ll take him off your hands. My buggy is outside.”

She left the room so her brother could have some privacy. Luke followed her into the hall and stopped close beside her. Too close. She could see the gray flecks in his blue eyes when she looked into his face. The soap he used accentuated his own unique masculine scent. It must be one of Rebecca’s. She made a number of herb-infused bars that smelled delightful. Emma was sure she hadn’t smelled this one before. She breathed in deeply, not wanting to exhale.

How foolish was that? As soon as she decided she wasn’t going to care what Luke did, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“Tell your father that I’ll be over first thing Monday morning.”

“All right.”

He hesitated, then said, “I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you, Emma. Are you sure you are okay with this?”

He looked truly concerned about her. How was she supposed to answer him?

“Luke, it doesn’t matter to me if you work for my father. So long as you keep true to the teachings of our faith.”

His eyes went from warm to frosty in a heartbeat. “You mean stay away from drugs.”

If he was angry with her, so much the better. “You know what I mean. Our faith has many rules, and you like bending the rules.”

“What if I say that I’ve changed? Would you believe me?”

“I would pray fervently that is true.”

“Not exactly what I wanted to hear.”

She crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “It’s the best I can do.”

“Then maybe I should tell your father I’ve changed my mind.” He pulled back. A shadow slipped across his eyes.

Was it pain? Had she hurt him? That was never her intention. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s best to get our feelings out in the open. I’ll speak to your father tomorrow.”

This wasn’t about her feelings. It was about her father and what he needed. “Nee, Luke. Daed can use the help. He’s not been well. You would be doing him a great favor if you came to work for him.”

“There are a lot of fellows he could hire to help.”

“But you understand machines. You will know what can be fixed and what is junk fit only for scrap. At least he’ll make a little money off that.”

“And making money is important, isn’t it? Of course it is. What woman wants to go into a marriage empty-handed?”

She drew back in shock. “Marriage? Who said anything about marriage?”

“Zachariah mentioned it in passing.”

Her cheeks burned with humiliation. Was her father trying to force her hand by spreading the story that she was about to wed? She pressed her lips together. “He shouldn’t have said anything. Nothing is decided.”

“I understand. Amish couples like to keep things secret. Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.”

“Danki.” But she was going to have plenty to say to her father.

Luke’s gaze softened. “Whoever he is, Emma, he’s a fortunate man.”

His eyes pulled at her heartstrings, making her long to move into his arms and rest her head on his shoulder the way she once had. She licked her suddenly dry lips.

Roy came out of the bedroom. “I’m ready.”

Emma tore her gaze away from Luke. “I have to go.”

She followed her brother down the hall. At the stairwell, she glanced back and saw Luke was still watching her. Was it a trick of the light, or did she see regret in his eyes?

An Amish Noel

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