Читать книгу A Boy's Christmas Wish - Patricia Johns - Страница 12

CHAPTER FOUR

BETH RUBBED A hand over her belly, feeling that strange, rolling motion of the baby moving inside her. She still wasn’t used to this, but she never got tired of feeling those wriggles. Riley didn’t have much more room in there, and Beth felt every stretch and jab. She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked down at the ripples of the baby’s foot moving across the top of her stomach.

“Hi, you...” Beth said softly. She stood in the kitchen, a mug of herbal tea steaming in front of her on the counter. She was thinking that she’d much rather have a doughnut right about now. Or cake. Chocolate cake. Black forest cake—that was it! The closest she could find to her craving in the cupboards were some crackers and hazelnut spread. It would have to do.

These winter mornings were cold, and the house wasn’t as well insulated as it could have been, so a draft wafted through the room and curled around her legs. Outside a bluebird was at the bird feeder hanging from a tree branch, and a squirrel hung back, seeming to sense it was outgunned by the bigger, meaner bird. It would do well to back off, Beth thought ruefully.

Her cell phone buzzed, and she looked down to see a text from her friend Abby.

Are you busy? Feel up to some company?

Beth smiled and typed back: Not busy. Where are you?

In front of your house.

Beth chuckled and headed through the living room, where Granny sat watching TV. Beth pulled open the front door and poked her head out. A red hatchback was parked in their drive, and Abby got out with a wave.

Abayomi, or Abby as everyone called her, was short and plump with dark skin that glowed with health and hair done in a sleek bob. She was of Nigerian descent—both of her parents were doctors who settled in North Fork when she was a young girl. North Fork, being quite far north in Alberta, suffered from a lack of medical professionals, and when Abby’s family arrived, the entire town was filled with relief to have two full-time doctors setting up right here in town. Abby’s mother was an ob-gyn, and her father had been a surgeon in Nigeria but established himself as a family doctor in Canada.

“Oh. My. Goodness!” Abby’s hand flew to her face, and she slammed her door and headed toward the front steps. “Look at you, girl! I knew about the pregnancy, but I had to see this for myself.”

“In all my glory.” Beth rolled her eyes. “Hurry up and get in here. It’s cold.”

Abby picked up her pace, and after hugs and the removal of boots and her coat, Abby stood back to look at Beth.

“You’re ready to pop!” Abby exclaimed, putting a hand on Beth’s belly. “So how come you didn’t call me when you got back?”

“It’s...” Beth shot her friend an apologetic look. “I’m overwhelmed. There’s a lot on my plate right now, and—”

And Abby was happily married. After Abby’s wedding, their friendship had grown more distanced because Abby was busy with her husband and Beth was, frankly, a little jealous. Abby’s happiness reminded her of the wedding she’d walked away from, so it was easier to focus on friends who didn’t know her history.

Abby squeezed Beth’s hand. “Forgiven. Just don’t repeat it. I’m here for you.”

“Abayomi,” Granny said, pushing herself up from her recliner. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Come over here and give me a hug.”

Abby gave Granny a hug, and after some pleasantries, Granny resettled in front of the TV, and Beth and Abby went into the kitchen to chat.

“So how are you?” Beth asked. “How is married life treating you?”

“The honeymoon is over and we drive each other nuts,” Abby said with a short laugh. “But Clint is worth it.”

“How long did you date, again?” Beth asked. It had been fast, and there hadn’t been a wedding for anyone to attend. Beth had bought her friend a present online and had it shipped. That had been four years ago now, near enough to her own canceled wedding to sting.

“Oh, we were crazy. We dated for six months, then he popped the question and we eloped.” Abby glanced around. “So does this mean that you and Collin are back together, or...”

“No, still very much broken up,” Beth said with a tight smile.

“And he left you pregnant.” Abby shook her head in disgust. “I hope you’re going for a pound of flesh over that. You know that Clint’s a lawyer—”

“No, no. I wasn’t pregnant when we broke up.” Beth licked her lips. “This was...a different mistake.”

“Oh.” Abby paused. “Okay...”

“For once, Abby, I did something spontaneous.” She shot her friend a pleading look. She didn’t need judgment right now. She needed a little sympathy. “The father is some guy from a bar. It only took four drinks and being dumped...and it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

“No, I get it,” Abby replied. “I always thought Collin was a bit dry. I only saw him those few times, but I didn’t think he was a great match for you. Not a bad guy, just...unimpressive, I guess.”

Beth smiled ruefully. “I think I settled in a lot of ways with Collin. He was good on paper, you know? He was—ironically, he was the kind of guy Linda approved of! But after Danny, I was tired of risk. I just wanted someone stable and safe.” She sighed.

Danny had made her feel things she’d never felt since. No guy could match the way he made her heart pound. He’d been romantic and sweet...but it was more than romantic gestures. It was the way her heart lurched when he looked into her eyes or the butterflies she felt when he held her hand. She’d loved him, but when she found out how much he’d hidden, her confidence had been severely shaken. How could she trust him with the rest of her life if he couldn’t trust her with his personal history?

Besides, she’d seen the way Danny had fallen in love with his boy. As he should—it was only right. But she didn’t share his tenderness—she’d still been in shock! And she’d suddenly seen herself in a role she’d never imagined before: stepmother. She’d be in Linda’s position, taking a back seat to his child...

“Have you seen Danny yet?” Abby asked.

“Yeah, he bought my dad’s store,” she said. “So I’ve been going over there to get some of the things we want to keep for memories.”

“And what did he think about your pregnancy?” Abby asked with a grin. “Because you are adorable. You have to know that. You’re all out front.”

“He yelled at me when I tried to climb a stepladder.” Beth chuckled. Was it wrong to feel a bit satisfied at having gotten a rise out of him? Even if it hadn’t been intentional, and if he’d ended up being right.

“Danny hollered at you?” Abby laughed. “He’s normally so...stoic.”

“Apparently, I can still annoy him like no one else,” Beth replied drily. “I’ve still got that, at least.”

“He’s single right now,” Abby added. “He has Luke, you’re expecting your baby...”

“Abby, he lied to me.” Beth shook her head. “Having a kid is heart-level stuff. He should have told me. If he could hold back his son, what else did he hold back?”

“I know.” Abby sighed. “He was wrong.”

“He was more than wrong,” Beth said. “He wasn’t the man I thought he was.”

Abby nodded. “I get it. I don’t know what I’d have done in the same situation.” She paused. “So, what’s the plan here? Are you back for good?”

“I think so,” Beth replied. “I’ll have to find a job, and I’ll raise my daughter. I don’t have a lot of choice right now.”

A baby changed absolutely everything. Life wasn’t going to be easy, and the reality of her situation had been growing heavier over the last few days.

“Abby, I’m scared.” Beth blinked back tears. “This wasn’t the plan.”

“What you need is to get busy!” Abby said.

“You are the first person to say that,” Beth sighed. “Everyone else tells me to put my feet up.”

“Oh, forget them. I know you.” Abby leaned forward. “Get involved with something. You know what I’m doing right now? I’m volunteering with the North Fork Christmas pageant. We were in it every year when we were kids, remember?”

“I loved it,” Beth said with a smile.

“Well, it takes a lot of people to run. We could use more volunteers.”

“Yeah?” Beth paused, thinking. “I can’t bend or lift very much. I’m not sure how useful I’d be...”

“We’ll give you something to do that involves sitting or standing.” Abby glanced down at Beth’s belly. “Or just sitting. Whatever you want. Just come. It’ll be fun, and you’ll see other people and get out of your head a little bit. It’s Christmas, after all!”

Abby cocked her head, waiting, eyebrows raised.

“Is it at town hall this year?” Beth asked.

“It’s at town hall every year,” Abby said with a roll of her eyes. “Nothing changes in North Fork. You know that.”

“Okay, well...sure. You’re right. I should get out more.”

Abby grinned in satisfaction. “Perfect. Come for the practice tomorrow at six. They’ll put you to work. That’s a promise.”

Beth needed to get out of the house, away from the store that only reminded her of how hard her family had landed. And she needed to wipe her heart free from both Collin and Danny. Neither of them had been good for her, and she knew it.

Besides, Beth had plans to make. She was going to be a mother, and everything would be different. She might not have the right man by her side in this, but she also didn’t have the wrong one. She’d raise her daughter well, and that took some forethought. Danny was in the past, and she certainly wasn’t going to get distracted now.

* * *

DAN SLOWED HIS truck to a crawl. Granny was walking down the sidewalk, her red coat pulled close around her and her chin held high. She marched with determination, not even giving his rumbling motor a glance.

It was cold out there today—as it was every day this time of year. This was northern Canada, after all, and the citizens of North Fork didn’t let the weather stop them from anything. He’d moved here from Vancouver, and the mild weather he’d experienced in that coastal city hadn’t prepared him for the driving cold. Yet over the past almost nine years that he’d spent in Alberta, he’d found himself joining the other locals in their perverse pleasure in treating the coldest days like spring.

Dan pushed the button to lower the passenger-side window, and he slowed down enough to keep pace with her.

“Granny!” he called.

The old woman looked over at him, an arch expression on her face. When she saw Dan, she smiled and paused her steps.

“Oh, hello, Daniel,” she said sweetly. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good,” he said. There was something about Granny Thomas that brought out his manners. “How are you doing?”

“Just fine, thank you, Daniel. Have a good day,” she said, gave him a cordial nod and started walking again.

Dan heaved a sigh. She could be difficult when she was on some personal mission.

“Granny,” he called again. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going—” She stopped, frowned, shook her head. “I don’t remember. It’ll come back to me.”

“Why don’t I give you a ride?” Danny asked. “It’s cold out.”

“It’s not cold,” she said with a bat of her hand. “It’s winter.” As if the two things were separate experiences.

“But Beth said she needed you for something,” he countered.

“Oh...” Granny sighed. “Wedding plans, no doubt. You should be lending her more of a hand, young man.”

She came to the door, and Dan leaned over and pulled the handle to let her in. Granny was spryer than most people knew, and she hopped up into the cab without difficulty.

“Ralph didn’t do much for our wedding,” Granny said as she buckled up. “But those times were different. Men were expected to show up dressed in a suit. That was it. But these days, men are much more involved, Daniel.”

She wasn’t going to let this drop, he could tell. Dan gave her a pained smile. He’d been pretty involved in planning their wedding five years ago. At least he’d thought he’d been. Maybe he was wrong about that.

“And speaking of how times have changed,” Granny went on, “men are in the delivery room now.”

She gave him another meaningful look, and Dan wished he could disappear into his seat. Fetching Granny had been a lot easier before Beth came back, when Granny would sit quietly in the passenger seat and murmur about how Ralph just hated it when she was late.

“Have you considered moving the wedding date up?” Granny asked when Dan hadn’t answered. “I know this is delicate, dear, but I think it would mean a lot to Beth.”

If only Granny remembered that Beth had been the one to dump him. This wasn’t just about him and Beth anymore—Luke was in the mix now. Dan signaled a turn onto the Thomases’ street.

“We should probably talk about that,” he said diplomatically. It seemed easier to play along than to explain things and upset her. She wasn’t his grandmother. “Don’t worry, Granny. Everything will be okay.”

Funny—that’s what he used to tell Luke when he’d cry for his mother. “Don’t worry, Luke. Everything will be okay.” And Luke would cry himself out in his father’s arms. Because Dan couldn’t promise that Lana would come back...ever. All he could promise was that one day it’d be all right. Or close to all right. Sometimes, that just had to do.

Dan pulled into the Thomases’ driveway and got out first to give Granny a hand down. Then he accompanied her to the door. The early-afternoon sunlight sparkled on the snow. Granny opened the front door and went straight in.

Beth stood in the living room, a slightly frantic expression on her face. She wore leggings and a knit turtleneck sweater that was an icy-blue color, bringing out the blue of her eyes as her gaze whipped between Dan and her grandmother. He wasn’t supposed to be staring at her, but he was. She was gorgeous, and an eight-month pregnant belly didn’t change that.

“Granny!” Beth gasped. “I was looking for you. Where were you?”

“I was just—” Granny frowned, shook her head. “I don’t know. I was out, I think. Oh, hello, Daniel.” The old woman turned and smiled at Dan. “That’s right. We were talking about the wedding, weren’t we? Why don’t I leave you two to discuss. I could close my eyes for a few minutes.”

Granny bent to take off her boots. It took a few minutes for her to get out of all her winter wear, and as she quietly worked at it, Dan and Beth exchanged a look. Granny was getting worse—Dan could tell. She was more confused, and this time she’d wandered farther than the store. But his focus right now was on Beth and those fluid blue eyes and the way she cradled her belly with one porcelain hand... Why did she have to be so beautiful? Why couldn’t she have lost some of that sparkle over the last few years? It would have made her return easier for him, made her a little easier to file into the past.

Granny finished hanging her coat and headed for the recliner.

“Could I talk to you?” Dan said, nodding toward the kitchen.

“Yeah, sure.” Beth looked at her grandmother for a moment, then sighed and led the way into the kitchen.

“I had no idea she’d even left!” Beth ran a hand through her hair. “Abby dropped by and Granny was in the living room. We visited for a while, Abby left, and Granny was gone.”

“Granny strikes me as the stealthy sort,” Dan agreed.

“Where was she?” Beth asked.

“On Butternut Street.”

“That far?” Beth heaved a sigh. “We’re going to need to put an alarm on the doors or something.”

“But that’s not all...” Dan wasn’t sure how to say this delicately, so he figured he’d just plow right ahead. “She’s stuck on this idea that you and I are getting married.”

Color rose in Beth’s cheeks. “I’m sorry about that.” She shrugged faintly. “She’s been doing that ever since I got back. I must have sparked something.”

“Have you tried telling her the truth?” he asked.

“I did—when I first got back,” Beth said. “She was frantic, worried about me, obsessed with all the details involved with canceling a wedding... It only made things worse.”

“I was afraid of that,” he admitted. “So what are we supposed to do?”

“Play along?” She met his eyes uncertainly. “I know it’s a lot to ask. It’s the same idea as telling her that Grandpa has gone out for milk. It just seems to comfort her. It lets her stay in a happy place.”

“And our wedding made her happy,” he concluded.

“I never realized how invested she’d been,” Beth said. She smoothed a hand over her stomach, and he followed the movement with his gaze. “I mean, until her dementia got worse. With her mind going into the past like this, we’re getting to see how she felt about things...about people.”

“About me?” Dan said, smiling wanly.

“I suppose.” Beth laughed softly. “So what do you think? Are you willing to play along when Granny’s with us?”

Dan sighed. He didn’t want to, but he doubted Beth wanted this, either. It was reliving a painful time in his own life to comfort Granny during this confusing time in hers. But Beth was right. If they simply told her the truth, it would only upset her. It would be cruel to do that repeatedly.

“I could try,” he agreed.

“So could I.” Beth sighed. “I do appreciate it. I know it’s a lot to ask.”

Dan shook his head. “It’s a weird situation.”

Beth turned away from him and opened a cupboard. She stretched to reach something, but her belly wouldn’t let her close enough.

“What are you trying to get?” he asked.

“Hazelnut spread,” she said, giving up. “I’m craving black forest cake like you wouldn’t believe.”

Dan shot her a quizzical look, and she shrugged. “Trust me, it connects.”

Dan passed her the hazelnut spread and could see her visibly relax at the sight of it.

“Pregnancy craving?” he asked.

“Cookies and cakes and carbs,” she said, unscrewing the cap. “Those seem to be my cravings, and this morning I realized that the one thing to complete me heart and soul would be black forest cake. Since I don’t have that, I’m making do. You want some?”

He shook his head. He didn’t know about this stage of things—he’d been long gone by the time Lana had been showing, and seeing Beth now brought back all those regrets. Beth smeared some spread onto a cracker and popped it into her mouth.

“So...” He cleared his throat. “Do you need me to do a bakery run or something? How urgent is this?”

Beth smiled. “I’m good. No worries. A few carrot sticks wouldn’t kill me, either.”

She dipped a spoon into the hazelnut spread and brought it up domed in chocolate goo. She began nibbling around the side of the spoon. So much for carrot sticks—not that he blamed her.

“How have things been around here?” Dan asked.

“With my dad, you mean?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Was it wrong of him to care? He’d been willing to join their family five years ago, and that had to count for something.

“Dad is kind of depressed,” Beth said. “As you’d expect.”

“Is he writing?” he asked. Rick had always been plugging away on something. His books took a couple of years to finish, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t constantly working.

“No.” She sighed. “I haven’t seen him write a word since I got back. Instead of facing everything at once, he’s tackling the problems he thinks he can fix. Like child support.”

“The father isn’t paying?” Dan frowned. “What kind of guy were you with, Beth?”

He still felt protective of her, whether he had the right to or not. At the very least, he’d expected that Beth’s guy would be head and shoulders above the likes of him, but if he wasn’t even supporting his child... At least Dan had done the right thing eventually. Maybe this guy would, too.

Beth sipped some chocolate hazelnut off the spoon, then licked her lips. “What kind of guy? The wrong one.”

“It isn’t that complicated to get child support,” Dan said. “I could show you the government websites that get the process started—”

“No.” Her tone was decided, and he stopped. “Does Lana pay you support?”

“No.” He cleared his throat. “I’m fine. I can take care of Luke on my own. Besides, Lana is in a rough spot—has been for years.” He paused. Her expression had changed. “What?”

“You told me about Lana,” she said. “You’d always said that you two weren’t that serious.”

“And we weren’t.”

“But a child together?” She raised her eyebrows. “I don’t care if that pregnancy was planned or not, that makes things a whole lot more serious.”

Dan sighed. “You have a point, but emotionally—”

“Emotionally?” Her eyes snapped fire. “That’s semantics, Danny! I told you everything about my past, my hang-ups, my feelings, my hopes for the future. I was an open book with you. But you—” she looked around as if searching for the word “—weren’t.”

“The last I had seen Lana, she’d told me she had taken a pregnancy test, and she was done with me,” he said. “She never even told me when he was born. She told me about six months later, and she reiterated that she didn’t want me in the picture. It didn’t exactly feel real.” It was a stupid thing to say to a pregnant woman, and he knew it. “I was wrong, okay?”

“Yes, you were.” She nodded. “But you know what hurts the most? You didn’t trust me enough to tell me. You were a dad. There was a little person out there with your DNA. You had to feel something.”

“Of course I felt something!” Dan erupted. “And a whole lot of what I felt was shame!”

Beth didn’t answer, but the fire in her eyes dwindled, and she dropped her gaze.

“I walked away from my child, Beth.” His voice wavered. “I hated myself for that. Forgive me for not wanting you to hate me, too.”

They stared at each other for a couple of beats. These were old hurts, ones he’d thought he’d dealt with, but standing here with Beth, it all felt raw. She’d wanted him to share his feelings—but she came from a rather privileged position. She came from a well-respected family who struggled with their own issues, granted, but would she have understood what his life had been like in Vancouver? How empty he felt? How stupid he felt for getting involved with a woman he knew he had no future with?