Читать книгу The Girl He Left Behind - Patricia Kay - Страница 11
ОглавлениеEve couldn’t sit still. The kids should’ve come home tonight, but Bill had called early that morning and asked if he could keep them over the weekend because the Kelly family reunion was taking place in San Antonio and he wanted the twins to be there with him. Eve hadn’t wanted to agree, but how could she say no?
That was the biggest problem she had with Bill. He was always so reasonable she could never refuse him when he wanted something. Even if he hadn’t been reasonable, she owed him. Not that he ever said so, but the knowledge was always there, unspoken, between them.
I rescued you. You owe me.
She knew that was what he was thinking. And why shouldn’t he? She was thinking it, too. He had rescued her, and she did owe him. Even now, after nearly twelve years, she still felt grateful. In fact, she couldn’t imagine what her mother would say if she knew. Even thinking about the problem made Eve’s heart beat a little faster.
Her mother would never know. That secret was safe. Bill would certainly never tell anyone—it would be the last thing he’d ever want people to know—nor would she. They both had a huge stake in keeping their secret safe.
So she’d said yes to this weekend, even though he could have given her more warning. Surely he’d known about the reunion for weeks now. Why hadn’t he told her earlier? She would have insisted on keeping the twins last weekend in exchange.
That’s probably exactly why he didn’t tell you.
Eve knew this wasn’t a big deal. It was just that she hated weekends on her own. It would be different if she, too, had remarried and had other children, or at least a partner to go places with her. But she hadn’t. And the way things looked, she probably wouldn’t. After all, to get married meant you needed to be seeing someone, and she had no prospects on the horizon. Crandall Lake wasn’t exactly a dating mecca. And even though, at one time, she’d dreamed about moving to Austin or Houston or somewhere with a bigger newspaper, her dream had turned out to be only a fantasy. Bill’s business was here. So here she’d have to stay. She could not take the twins from their father.
Olivia had once suggested Eve might sign up for an online dating service.
“I don’t see you doing that,” Eve had said.
“I’m not ready” had been Olivia’s quiet answer.
Eve had been immediately sorry for her retort. At the time, her cousin had been still mourning her husband’s death.
“But it would be good for you, Eve.”
Eve knew Olivia had been right. Eve should be proactive if she didn’t want to remain single her entire life. She would be thirty in just a couple of months, and even though thirty wasn’t exactly old-maid territory, and lots of women today married later in life, mostly those women had interesting and successful careers. That wasn’t true of her. She worked for a small daily paper struggling to keep afloat with dwindling subscriptions and fewer advertisers. In fact, she’d been hearing rumors of layoffs.
Eve sighed, remembering that conversation. What was she going to do with herself this weekend? She was already bored and it was only six o’clock Saturday evening. There was nothing good on television, Olivia and Thea were in Dallas for the weekend and no one else that Eve knew was free. Her own mother was probably busy with a bridge tournament or something. Ironically, Anna seemed to have more of a social life than Eve ever had—or would have.
After another half hour of yawning and attempting to knit—she had learned this past year—Eve shoved the knitting back into the tote that housed her supplies and got up. “I’m going to the shelter,” she announced aloud. She’d begun volunteering at Crandall Lake’s homeless shelter six months earlier, and she’d found it very satisfying work. She’d even made friends of some of the women there. “Going to the shelter is better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself,” she muttered as she prepared to leave, “or thinking about Adam Crenshaw.”
She hadn’t heard otherwise, so she figured he was still in town. Given the level of interest in their town’s biggest celebrity, who had surpassed former pro quarterback Dillon Burke’s position as its most famous alumnus, she knew she would have heard if Adam had returned to Nashville.
Thirty minutes later, as she approached the shelter, her spirits had already improved. It always did her good to come here, made her count her blessings and remind her that despite her problems she was extremely fortunate. She shouldn’t ever complain, even to herself. Life could always be so much worse—and was for many. She and her children—in fact, her entire family, everyone she loved—was healthy and had a roof over their heads. What more could she ask for?
Vowing to do better, she walked into the building and saw that she had arrived too late to help serve dinner, but not too late to help clean up. Donning an apron, she joined the other volunteers and in short order they’d cleared all the dirty plates and cutlery.
“I guess you heard who’s coming tonight,” said Julianne, one of the teen volunteers.
Eve frowned. “Um, no. What do you mean?”
Julianne grinned. “Adam Crenshaw! Oh, c’mon. You knew!”
Eve shook her head. Her stupid heart had already started to gallop, just at the sound of his name. “No, I—I didn’t. When will he be here?”
“Any minute,” Julianne said. “He’s going to sing!” Her eyes shone with excitement.
Eve looked around wildly. Any minute! Up to now, she’d managed to avoid going anywhere she thought he might be. Oh, God, she had to get out of here. She knew it would look crazy to leave just ten or fifteen minutes after arriving, but she couldn’t stay. So what if the other volunteers gossiped about her? They’d forget about her as soon as Adam started singing. She began to remove her apron, but it was already too late, for the entire room started to buzz with anticipation as Adam walked through the dining room doorway.
Eve could feel herself trembling. Olivia had been right. He did look better in person. In fact, he looked gorgeous. She took in the black T-shirt with his band’s logo on the front, the tight jeans, the worn biker boots, his shining hair, the dimple that appeared as he smiled at the crowd.
An interviewer had once asked why he never wore cowboy boots or cowboy hats. His answer had been that he’d never been a cowboy and refused to pretend he was. “I’m just a musician,” he’d said, “who, a lot of the time, likes to write and sing country music.”
Adam. His name felt like a prayer.
She couldn’t take her eyes off him. But he hadn’t seen her. Thank God, he hadn’t seen her. Eve knew she couldn’t leave without causing a bit of commotion because there were too many people crowded into the room now. It seemed as if everyone who worked there, plus every person who lived there, had jammed themselves into the room.
She watched as he worked the crowd, shaking hands, signing autographs, allowing people to take pictures of him and selfies with him. He’d come a long way from the insecure boy who covered up his loneliness with fierce privacy and a facade of boredom.
“Hello, y’all,” he said now. “Thanks for inviting me to come visit and sing for you.”
The crowd yelled out their welcome.
Eve managed to maneuver herself to the back of the room while Adam tuned his guitar from the piano near the doors leading to the kitchen. A few minutes later, among cheers of approval, he launched into his signature hit—the first of his records to go platinum—“Impossible to Forget.”
“I told myself I didn’t care our love was in the past.
I told myself our promises were never meant to last.
But every day, in every way,
I fought heartache and regret,
The truth was there for all to see,
You were impossible to forget.”
As he sang, he seemed to be looking straight at her. Eve wanted to look away, but no matter how she tried, she couldn’t. She wondered what he was thinking as he sang. She had always wondered if he’d written the song about her. As their eyes locked, she struggled to contain her emotions. When she couldn’t, when tears filled her eyes, she knew she had to get out of there. And fast. So as the song finished, she used the boisterous crowd, many of whom jumped to their feet to applaud and call out other song titles they wanted Adam to sing, to hide her exit.
She headed straight for the back door, but when she got there, safely out of sight of the people in the dining room, she discovered it was locked for the night. She was going to have to go out the front. She would have to pass by Adam.
He had begun another song. Best to go now, while he was busy singing. Maybe she could make her escape without too much disturbance. Taking a deep breath, she turned toward the dining room.
* * *
About halfway through “Impossible to Forget” Adam realized the attractive blonde he was singing to—he always picked one person in the crowd with whom to have eye contact—was Eve. He hadn’t realized it at first because, after all, it had been twelve years since he’d seen her. At seventeen going on eighteen, she’d been wide-eyed, pretty and sweet looking, a girl who wore hardly any makeup and her fair hair in a ponytail. Now, at nearly thirty, she was a beautiful woman, classy and elegant.
Somehow, though, she’d disappeared during the hubbub after he’d finished “Impossible to Forget” and he’d been surprised—and a little disturbed—by how disappointed he was. As he began his second song, “Trouble is My Middle Name,” he told himself to forget her. She’d obviously not wanted to see him. And you didn’t want to see her, either, remember?
Then halfway through the song, he spied her again. This time she was coming from somewhere off to his left and it was clear she intended to leave because she was heading straight for the door. He made an instant decision not to let that happen. He quickly ended the song after the first chorus and before the notes from the final chord had died away, spoke into the mic, saying, “Eve! Eve Cermak!”
She stopped in midflight and slowly turned as a hush fell over the room. She stared at him.
He grinned. “I thought that was you.” He could see she knew she was trapped. Whether she wanted to talk to him or not, now she would have to.
“Hello, Adam,” she finally said. “I—I was trying to sneak out without disturbing anyone.”
“Yeah, I saw that.”
By now some of the bystanders had begun to murmur, and Adam knew tongues would soon be wagging. “Sorry, y’all,” he said, “but Eve and I are old friends from our high school days, and I didn’t want her to leave without saying hello to her.” He smiled at Eve again. “You don’t really have to go, do you? Why don’t you stay awhile and talk to me when I’m done here?”
He could see the conflict in her eyes. He knew she wanted to bolt. He also knew she probably wouldn’t, because if she did, tongues really would wag. After all, this was a small town. And he was the small-town hero, at least for today.
“I—I guess I could stay awhile,” she said faintly.
Someone moved over on one of the benches to offer her a seat.
Satisfied, Adam grinned, thanked everyone for their patience and began his third song, this time choosing “My Stars.”
And all the while he was singing, he kept his eyes on Eve. And to her credit, she didn’t once look away.
* * *
Eve knew she was trapped. She couldn’t leave now, not until Adam was finished, because if she did, everyone would see her. And they’d wonder, especially after he’d singled her out, why she was leaving. After all, every one of them would probably have given their firstborn to spend time with him, to be able to say they knew Adam Crenshaw. God, even Steve Winthrop, the director of the shelter, and who had been asking her out for months and whom she’d been attempting to let down easy because even though he was a nice guy, he was almost twenty years older than her, and she was not attracted to him, had seen and heard everything Adam had said to her. And Steve was giving her an odd look.
And then there was Alice Fogarty, the nutritionist who volunteered in the shelter’s kitchen, and who was a notorious gossip and neighbor of Eve’s mother. Alice was standing not two feet away, staring at her, avid curiosity on her face. She’d seen and heard the entire exchange, too. Eve could just imagine what that busybody would have to say about all of this tomorrow, especially what she’d gleefully report to Eve’s mother.
Oh, God.
If Eve’s mother ever found out the truth—the fallout, the consequences, didn’t bear thinking about.
Oh, yes, Eve was definitely trapped. She would have to stand here and smile and act as if she was enjoying the entertainment until the very end. And then she would have to talk to Adam just as if he were merely an old classmate of hers. Could she do it? Whether she could or she couldn’t, she would have to. She had no choice.
So she stood there.
And she smiled.
And she pretended to be enjoying herself.
And all the while, inside, she was quaking.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, but was—in reality—only about thirty more minutes, Adam said he would be happy to take a few questions, and let people take more pictures if they wanted to, but then he needed to go.
Hands immediately flew up. Adam chuckled and called on a skinny young man sitting near the front of the room.
“Did you always know you wanted to be in the music business?” the young man asked.
Adam nodded. “Yep. From the moment I held my first guitar when I was twelve years old.”
Eve remembered how he’d once told her that guitar had changed his life. How he’d found a crumpled-up, dirty twenty-dollar bill near the sewer at the end of his street and how he’d hidden it and added to it doing every odd job he could find until he had enough money to buy the guitar from a local pawnshop. How he’d even taken it to bed with him because he was afraid one of his brothers would mess with it, maybe even break it, if he didn’t.
“Did you always write your own music?” the young man continued.
“Yeah, I did. Of course, the early attempts weren’t very good. I thought everything needed to rhyme and you can’t imagine the goofy stuff I came up with. I remember one song where I used dastard and bastard and mustard!”
The entire room burst into laughter. Even Eve had to laugh, although her insides were still trembling with nerves.
“I’d love to hear that one,” the young man said when the room quieted down.
“Oh, no,” Adam said. “I wouldn’t do that to anybody. That song was pretty awful.”
A middle-aged woman that Eve didn’t recognize called out, “We’re all proud of you, Adam. One of our own making it big.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” he said. “I’ve been lucky.”
“It ain’t luck, son,” an older man Eve knew by the name of Joshua said. “It’s pure grit and determination.”
“And talent!” said Marcy Winters, the choir director of St. Nicholas Catholic Church, where Eve was a member.
Adam answered a few more questions, allowed a couple dozen more pictures to be taken, then began to pack up his guitar while people milled around him. Finally he managed to extricate himself, and he headed in Eve’s direction. Eve knew all eyes in the room were on them as he reached her side and smiled down at her.
“Would you like to go have coffee with me or something?” he asked quietly.
What I want is to run out of here as fast as my legs can carry me and go home and hide. “Sure,” she said, hoping she looked calmer than she felt. “Sounds good.”
A few minutes later, outside in the balmy night air, she suggested they walk over to Dinah’s Diner on the town square.
“Dinah’s Diner is a new one on me,” Adam said.
“It only opened about three years ago. Dinah Campbell—you may have known her as Dinah Bloom—took over the old Burger Shack space.”
“I remember that place.”
Eve nodded. She knew he would. Burger Shack had been the hangout of choice for teenagers when they were in school. Not that Adam and Eve had ever gone there. No way they could have kept their relationship secret if they had.
Of course, Adam hadn’t been the one who’d wanted to keep it secret. That was all her doing. She hadn’t wanted to tell him, but she’d been forced to, that her parents would never permit her to see him.
“Do you always do everything your parents tell you to do?” he’d asked.
It had embarrassed her to admit it, but she’d been honest and said, “Yes, I do.”
“Yet you’re lying to them now,” had been his rejoinder, “so you don’t always do what they say, do you?”
She still remembered the way he’d looked at her when he’d said it. Even then, as inexperienced and naive as she was, she’d known it was going to be very hard to ever say no to him.
Dinah’s was only about half-full when they got there, but the low buzz when they entered the place told Eve every single person there knew exactly who Adam was and, before long, they’d know who she was, too, if they didn’t already.
One of the booths that lined the windows facing the street was empty and Adam suggested they take it. As the waitress—a cute teenager named Liz whom Eve knew from church—approached, he said, “I’m starving, so I’m gonna order food. How ’bout you?”
Eve had only picked at the chicken salad she’d had for dinner. “I could eat a cheeseburger. They’re really good here.”
“Let’s go for it,” he said, smiling.
That dimple of his would be her undoing. Or maybe she was already undone. After all, she was here with him, wasn’t she?
They both ordered the cheeseburgers and a basket of rosemary fries to share. “Rosemary fries?” he said in mock disbelief.
“Just because we’re a small town doesn’t mean we’re hicks,” Eve said, grinning.
“They’re really good,” the waitress, who was obviously starstruck, said.
Once she was gone, he leaned back and smiled at Eve. “You’ve grown into a beautiful woman, Eve,” he said softly.
Eve knew she was blushing. She could feel the heat warming her cheeks. “Thank you.” She ducked her head. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
He made a face. “Yeah, sexiest man alive. Did you hear?”
“I did.”
He shook his head. “What bull.”
“I don’t think it is.”
“Really? You think I’m sexy?” He struck a pose. “I could do that old Rod Stewart song.”
But she didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, she said quietly, “I always did.”
The words seemed to float between them in air that was suddenly charged with emotions struggling to surface. For a long moment, neither of them spoke, then both spoke at the same time.
“Eve, why didn’t you—?”
“Adam, I’m sorry I—”
They stopped, and he said, “You go first.”
Eve took a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know I’m sorry I never got to say goodbye.”
His eyes locked with hers. They were a shade of gray that always made her think of rainy streets. “I wasn’t surprised you didn’t show up that night.”
Because she didn’t know what to say to that statement, she said nothing. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied their waitress coming with their food anyway, so it was better to stay quiet, at least for now.
As if he knew they’d neared territory better left alone, he began to eat, and for a while, they didn’t talk at all. Then someone fed the jukebox and “Love Me Tender” began to play.
“One of my all-time favorite songs,” Adam said between bites.
“Mine, too,” Eve said. Their eyes once again met. The expression in his made her heart trip. She couldn’t believe he still had the power to make her feel this way. It was almost as if twelve years had gone up in smoke. Or had never been.
Just as Adam opened his mouth to say something, Eve sensed someone standing nearby. She looked up and saw Joe Ferguson, the mayor of Crandall Lake.
“Just thought I’d stop by and say hello,” Ferguson said. “I’ve been hoping I’d have the chance to welcome one of our most famous sons back to town.” He stuck out his hand. “Joe Ferguson, mayor of our fair city.”
Adam wiped his hand on his napkin and shook Ferguson’s. “Nice to meet you.”
“I hear you were over at the shelter tonight, entertaining the troops,” Ferguson said. His florid face looked even redder under the bright lights of the diner.
“Yes, I stopped by.”
“I was hopin’ maybe I could persuade you to come to the Rotary Club meetin’ on Tuesday, give us a little concert there.”
“Um, I’m not sure I can. I’ll have to see how my mother’s doing,” Adam hedged.
Eve couldn’t stand Joe Ferguson. He was one of those politicians who’d been in office way too long but seemed impossible to unseat. He had a vastly inflated opinion of himself and seemed oblivious to the fact a lot of people didn’t share that view.
“Sure, I understand. Well, you can let me know on Monday. And if Tuesday doesn’t work out, we can find another date.”
All this time Ferguson had acted as if Eve wasn’t there, not that she minded. But Adam noticed, for he said, “I don’t know if you’ve met Eve Cermak—”
“Eve Kelly,” Eve corrected. “And Mayor Ferguson and I know each other from church.”
“Yeah, of course,” Ferguson said. “I see you at St. Nick’s all the time.”
Now Eve noticed someone else approaching their table. She looked at Adam, telegraphing her wish to leave, and it worked, for he immediately said, “You know, we really need to get going. I’m planning on going back to the hospital tonight and it’s getting late.”
“Oh, sure. No problem,” Ferguson said. He fished in his shirt pocket and pulled out a card. “My cell number is on that. You can call me about Tuesday night either tomorrow or Monday. Try to come, okay? All the guys are wantin’ to meet you.”
“Is it just me or is he kind of obnoxious?” Adam said after they’d made their escape.
“He’s definitely obnoxious,” Eve said, laughing. “I couldn’t wait to get away from him.”
They were outside on the sidewalk now. Adam looked around. “Where’s your car?”
“I walked to the shelter.”
“Really? Where do you live?”
“Over on Maple Avenue, just off Center Street. It’s not far.”
“It’s far enough. I’ll walk you home.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Eve, it’s nine o’clock. It’s dark. I’m not letting you walk by yourself.”
“It’s perfectly safe. I walk at night all the time. You’ve been living in the big city too long, Adam. You’ve forgotten what small-town life is like.”
“I don’t care. I’m still walking you home.”
“But you said you have to go back to the hospital.”
“I lied. I just wanted to get away from your esteemed mayor.”
“He’s not my esteemed mayor. I haven’t voted for him in either of the past two elections.”
“Whatever. I don’t have to go to the hospital, and I am walking you home.”
Because it was obvious nothing she could say was going to change his mind, and she didn’t want to argue with him, Eve shrugged and said, “Okay, fine.” But down deep, she knew these weren’t the only reasons she was letting him have his way.
Whether it was wise or not, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
