Читать книгу Jairus's Daughter - Patti Rutka - Страница 7

Capernaum, Israel, evening of the 8th of Av, C.E. 34

Inside, blood leaked into the wool padding underneath Aviel as she lay, slack-bodied, on her pallet in the darkened house. What should have been an ordinary, cyclical exodus from her body was now life-threatening. Four days ago she had crawled to the bed in the heat of the day. Now, her once-lustrous brown curls had gone dull and her mother patted a cool cloth on her sweating forehead.

Outside, on a light, breezy day in the upper Galil of Palestine, more than thirty years after the reign of Herod the Brutal, Yohanon the carpenter sat outside his stone house carving minute detail into a scribe’s table. Wind tousled his white hair as a shroud of haze fingered its way across the nearby lakeshore, covering the village of Capernaum. Cedars pointed skyward and ancient gnarled-trunk olive orchards rustled in parched pastures; their slight movement was a generous sign of life in a spring that had dried from days of still air and no moisture. Only the village’s well miraculously continued to flow, even as the surrounding wadis had caked to orange-brown rock beds.

Yohanon cut into the fragrant, soft cedar to round out the table’s edges, feeling the slivers fall around him. He added an embellishment at each upper corner, scrolling in olive leaves, leaving a touch of the delicate in what was to be a sturdy work tool. Considering his wrists and hands as he worked, he saw veins meandering, small blue rivers in the powdered land of his aged skin. He thought of the table’s youthful future owner. Unlike his, her hands were petite, so the table was to be slightly reduced from the typical size used by male scribes; the inkwell and stylus receptacles had to be diminutive as well. Tables that fit more comfortably under the slender hands of female scribes had become his expertise, and while he couldn’t sell as many of them as the regular-sized ones, he had established a reputation, and his tables had become sought after by young women trained for beautiful writing. His heart went into the making of this particular table, since its future owner was his neighbor. If she recovered.

As he worked his sturdy and calloused hands into the wood, his eyes and intent turned it supple, moving it around and through his fingers. Next picking up a small cloth, he dipped it into a tiny clay vessel and spread oil over the wood, buffing it methodically. Now and then he would glance up without thinking and take in the street around him, suck his teeth, and spit out sesame seeds hidden in his gums. He spent so much time out here carving and observing that his eyes were tools themselves, penetrating the skin of his fellow townspeople to see deeper into their cares and daily incessant trials. Grief lines from years of increasing loss corralled his face, running tracks through what had been a baby face for the longest time, before his beard had grown fully.

His thoughts led him to the realization that there was respite in age, relief from the years of stupidity and the poor judgment of youthful excess. Turning from himself, concern for his young neighbor flooded him, and he wished that miracles could fall like dew this day, though he had witnessed none himself in all his life.

“Hepsabah! Some water. Please.”

His wife moved in the shadows of their house and came out silently with a clay jar holding a conservative portion of water for him.

“Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha olam . . .” he began to thank God rapidly and automatically under his breath for the water they had, then caught himself and wondered why there was no specific prayer for water. Immediately he switched to the general blessing for food and drink besides wine, finishing, “she-ha-kol nihyeh bi-d’varo,” so as to not waste an opportunity for gratitude. Indeed, he was grateful that he and his remaining loved ones were healthy, and if the denarius didn’t buy what it used to, at least he was doing all right through selling his work in order to provide for his wife and their grandson. He had their gratitude, and that was all his heart needed to feel useful at his age. It was good to have settled in as a husband and father years ago, and when the children had both moved into death, then it was good to be a grandfather to their child.

Health was the greatest currency. Now, it fled the young woman down the street. The table was to be hers, God willing. While the community was small and everyone generally knew everyone else’s business, there was a mystery about what ailed the small-boned, auburn-haired Aviel.

At first notice her beauty startled. She was a high-tempered darling with engraved, unending eyes, betraying that she could touch a world deeper than most. Yohanon could not have explained the power of her eyes, given the lack of grief in her life that was the usual reason for the fissures in the bedrock of a person’s soul. She had shown this cavernous quality of her eyes even as a child, when she would come to sit against Yohanon’s house and watch him work. They would sit silently side by side, she drawing in the dirt with a stick, he working his tools. Every once in a while she would giggle and glance up at him, and he would look into her.

“Always writing. What do you write?”

Because of his terseness, and his shock of white hair, at first when Aviel was small she had been afraid of him. She would come up close and look at all his scars—the slanted thin white line above his eyebrow, the one shaped like the lake on his forearm. His raspy questions made her pause, wide-eyed, and then she would just smile, touch one of the scars with her finger, go back to rubbing out the dust, and start writing again.

For a number of years as she grew up it was murmured that, despite her looks, she was too much like a boy, was too spirited, and that she would need to curb her tendencies to climb trees and run through the wadis with the boys, her skirts tied up around her thighs so she could throw her legs about more freely. But when she neared what should have been the time of coming into womanhood, Yohanon had observed that she did not start to separate herself off from the boys; she shunned the company of girls her age who would gather in groups to giggle and braid their hair and talk about others in undertones. She still came to stop by him as he worked, whatever the latest project on his knees. He would smile, not scold like the other adults who told her to behave more seemingly.

In bed late at night, Hepsabah, Yohanon’s wife, would whisper to Yohanon the local gossip, saying that she didn’t think the girl had started her cycle yet, and might not for a while because she was so physical – or maybe it was that she was so underweight. The older women knew that for some reason a girl had to have a certain amount of flesh on her to go through the regular monthly cycles; those who were too skinny never bled, nor did those, on occasion, who were more active. In any case, Aviel would still touch the boys or her father lightly on the shoulders or chest in talking with them. When her hands were not in the dirt they flew everywhere, drawing pictures in the air, as she talked and folded people into her circle, mixing and stirring her imaginative stew of human relationships.

People in the town assumed that she had not yet started as a woman, because she would have to stop touching men when that happened. Once a girl did begin her monthly cycle, she was also forbidden from going into the men’s areas in the places of worship, since it could never be known for certain when a woman was in her time of ritual uncleanness. From pre-adolescence a young woman’s circle became restricted to other women, but Aviel still appeared to not be bound in this way. At some point she would have to succumb to the laws.

In their private discussions Hepsabah and Yohanon had wondered if it was the sin of that freedom she took which had contributed to her current curse. No one in the town could say definitively in what way her parents must have sinned such that Aviel paid the price, because her father was a synagogue official, a Pharisee, a genuinely pious man, and a good man.

The first few days of illness Aviel had weakened, taking to her bed, pale. In the last few days, her unwellness rose to the surface as she drifted in and out of waking states. She had no delirium, but a sickness of spirit had fallen over her house, a house usually lively. Even the donkey seemed to sense something wrong and had quieted his periodic braying.

With the illness, Aviel had not come out for her normal chores, and she had stopped going to her daily scribal training. Learning this writing practice was a skill her mother and father had finally agreed was a path on which she could be encouraged, because it appeared she had a gift, and the desire to write. For all her liveliness, embedded in her writing was a profound stillness. Jairus, her father, had noticed this precious quietude that seemed to serve as a sort of breathing space from her typical rambunctiousness, even as she learned her letters as a child. Peace would cloak her as she bent over her tablet and rubbed out her mistakes with the flat end of her stylus in the wax layered on wood.

While the Pharisees valued oral tradition more than the written, Jairus recognized she had a talent that should be encouraged. So he had taken her aside one day and sat her down, given her his best stylus, pulled out a thick sheet of lower quality papyrus and the ink that scribes made from soot and gum. He added water to the mix and told her to write while her mother was out at the market. She wrote proudly, embellishing the Greek letters with the slightest of twists, detailing the thickness and thinness of each stroke precisely, writing over and over, Theos Hypsistos, the Most High God. Later, Jairus would teach her Aramaic and Hebrew—even a little Latin, though as a Jew he preferred to avoid the language of their occupiers.

One day Jairus stood in the corner, behind her, watching as her small fingers deftly worked the stylus. “Perhaps . . .” her father murmured, “perhaps you could write for us, help the family,” thinking of all the ways in which a scribe could be employed by Romans and Greeks in trade. “Let’s not let Eemah know just yet,” he whispered to Aviel, using the close name for her mother. “Do you like writing so very much, my little one?” She smiled secretively and nodded, then dipped the reed into the well again. “Yes, Abba. I prefer the ink and papyrus to the wax tablet. The papyrus talks to me,” and with a crease in her young forehead she looked up at him to see if he understood.

“And what does it say?” he smiled, playing along with her as he stroked her hair.

“It says there are marks already on the page, but I must write around them so that just the right ones are revealed. Most people can’t see the other hidden marks.”

“Ah!” He marveled at her inventiveness.

So Jairus had approached his wife about their daughter. As her husband spoke, Rivka’s eyes drifted and she raced ahead over the years to the possible paths this writing would take her daughter. After boring a hole in her husband’s face with her eyes, she had gone to a cubby and pulled out a small leather purse with money. So Jairus had crossed the street to ask Yohanon to create a series of special scribal tables for Aviel as she grew, and through the years the design in the corners had reflected what Yohanon thought a young girl would like. Today, as the carpenter worked, he prayed that the table’s owner would receive it in good health.

Rivka came to the door of the house and scanned for her husband, taking in the street as she raised her face to the fresher outside air. The breeze played at her prematurely graying temples. Her eyes were tired, and as she stood with them closed, praying and breathing in a single motion, she knew she would have to have some respite soon. The beauty of the day belied the desperation of her home’s interior, where Aviel lay bleeding her own river.

Earlier, in the anguished pre-dawn hours filled with the prayer of birdsong, Rivka had known she would have to send out Jairus to seek help, knowing from the wisdom of women through centuries of other women dying in childbirth that her daughter had only a short while to live. It was as if Aviel was laboring to birth something from a depth within her, even though she had not even started her menstruation.

Rivka reflected that just as people had the power to hurt most the ones they loved the most, so too did blood have the power to purify, as with sacrifices, and defile, as with a woman in her menses. Blood was a duality for Jews, the core of both life and death. Blood could save, as it had when Adonai had passed over their ancestor’s houses because of the blood painted on the slave doorposts of Egypt, when they were strangers in a strange land; blood could mean death through plague in that same strange land. Blood was to be respected, and feared.

Aviel wallowed in a strange land this day. Rivka didn’t know what was wrong with her daughter, and the physicians didn’t know either. The girl simply hadn’t started her womanhood, even though her years were appropriate. Rivka and Jairus had spent exceeding amounts of money on help. In the last effort, Aviel had been examined by a renowned midwife who came all the way from Safed to the west—an experience that, when her body wall had broken, had left Aviel crying and cursing that she would never let anyone, especially a man, touch her under her skirts. Rivka had explained to Aviel what they were checking, and she had stayed in the curtained-off room during the exam, but still the girl was angry for weeks and blamed her mother for the violation. She had run through the tall grass, coming back so late one afternoon that Daniel and Nathan, two of the town’s shepherds and friends of the family, had been sent out to look for her.

Now she was fifteen, and her flow appeared to have started as violently as a flash-flood down a wadi, draining her life. Spasms had wracked her light body for four days unceasingly, and she was losing so much blood into the linens and wool padding that Rivka knew she couldn’t live long. It was as if the girl’s life did not want to surrender up to womanhood, did not want to succumb to the cyclical weakness and down-flow of energy into the earth, even if followed by the upsurge of life and vigor. In her heart Aviel had wished instead for the steady constitution of a man, staying forever playing with the boys of her youth, and it seemed that desire was protesting through her body in bloody conflict.

When Rivka began to see her husband pacing in and out of the house like a lion in captivity, she knew it was time to send him for help – just to get him away from the iron-damp smell of blood, from the clammy skin and hollow blue-pale of their daughter’s face, their beloved Aviel. She knew he would do better to take some action in his desperation, whether or not the healer Yeshua could help.

At the doorway, Rivka glanced up at Yohanon, and as his eyes turned to look a few houses down, hers followed. Jairus was just coming out of the doorway of Joseph, who made and sold water skins. Jairus nodded his head in gratitude several times and turned back towards Rivka, then broke into a trot down the dry-dust pebbled street. He stopped in front of her, and it was as if Yohanon could see red fear streaming between husband and wife.

“I need to go now, don’t I?”

“Now.”

“Help me with the donkey. I can’t explain to the elders why I will pursue this, but God knows I’ve been patient . . .” He didn’t need to finish what passed unspoken between them.

She was less hopeful than he for a cure; the laments of women dying as they gave birth were part of the sounds of her world. If they were ever truly going to lean on the God of their fathers, well, let them lean. She hated to have Jairus go, knowing he would most likely not be there when his daughter died, but the curtain of death descended from the hand of God, not hers. Rivka wiped her mouth and nose, her hand trembling, her ordinarily firm voice shattered. “Leave, my love. Go. Just go.”

Jairus took the water skins, went around the side of the house, and slung them across Nabby, the donkey. Blinking quietly the animal stood, one hip cocked; reluctantly he roused himself for the gear-pack. Rivka disappeared again into the cave of the house and came out with a clay jar of figs and slung it across the donkey’s woven blanket. Next she put a leather pouch of flat bread in a pocket of the blanket. Then she reached up for a bridle, pulling it off a hook, and held the beast’s head in the crook of her arm as she slipped the bit into his mouth. Jairus went to take a last look into the darkened house, knelt and held his daughter’s hand and kissed her forehead, then turned to come out to take Nabby’s reins from Rivka. She held her husband tightly to her and felt his rapid breathing.

“I know Yeshua will remember you with care,” she said.

“All right, let me go now.”

He pressed his cheek to hers, moved the donkey out, and walked briskly alongside, not looking back.

Jairus knew how to run. Running was the only thing that had seemed to soothe him before Rivka had provided him another stable foundation, beyond the synagogue, from which to experience his own life. The sword of the wilderness had been his running ground when he was a boy, opening a vast expanse that could swallow his pain. At seven he had seen his father crucified under Herod’s “cleansing”; his mother had died ten days later. The elders of the synagogue had sought him, and brought him back, where he was raised by a couple in their fifties who had survived.

So Jairus had become apprenticed to the temple at an early age, and was now a teacher. He had responsibility for the roll of scriptures that the community had paid for, and it was a particularly splendid scroll with the name of God written in gold letters. He taught classes for the older youths of Capernaum, and sometimes the younger ones, taking them to sit against the cooling rock walls on mild, sun-bleached days. There was also a small apartment next to the synagogue built for pilgrims who were coming through on their way to Jerusalem, one that included the ritual bath they used for cleansing. Jairus was proud of all that the community entrusted to him.

Yet despite all his piety, despite all his praying and begging the priests, he could do nothing for Aviel. Any difficulty in life he still soothed best by walking furiously as if to escape it physically, and Rivka knew this about him.

Once, during an argument with her, he had run out of the house, jumped onto Nabby, and kicked him into running. Jairus’s legs had hung down close to the ground almost as low as his mouth was turned, and while he didn’t care how ridiculous he looked to the neighbors, he did notice that though the donkey got him away from the scene faster it didn’t provide the satisfaction of his long legs striding out his fury. During their arguments, Rivka and he could barely contain the volume of their voices, so the small community was aware that he was a man of passion and that she spoke freely of her convictions. In this jerk-and-tumble rhythm they moved forward in their growth as a couple, rounding their edges as they went.

Now, he walked-ran to seek the prophet they had recently brought in to speak at the synagogue, the prophet who, they had heard, was performing miracles. He was, by report, traveling only a few miles from the village, curing even the blind and the leprous. It didn’t matter to Jairus how his daughter could have life—no controversy around this Yeshua concerned him. There were many zealots these days who were preoccupied with corruption at the Temple and the Jews’ collaboration with Rome’s imperialism. Jairus was a devout man, and he knew at an intuitive level that the balance of his daughter’s life could only be counterweighted by the power of something miraculous. He wanted it so badly he couldn’t tell if he was completely falling on his face with trust before Adonai, or if he was merely begging for relief from a snake charmer.

Rivka watched her husband kicking up dust as he faded from view. She looked over at Yohanon, who worked with his back to his house in the lengthening sun. She did not lower her eyes as a woman could be expected to, but looked at him with pleading.

Yohanon put down his carving tool. He nodded towards her, and left his own head down in respect, as Rivka turned back into the house.