Читать книгу S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On) - Paul McGee - Страница 7

It was the spring of 2005. I sat at my kitchen table overlooking my garden, making some final changes to the draft of my SUMO book. It was the first time I'd worked with my publisher, Capstone, and it was exciting to do so. But no one was fooling themselves. My editor knew he was taking a chance working on such a book. Thirteen publishers had already turned down the opportunity to publish SUMO. As one editor put it so directly… ‘no one is going to walk into a bookshop and buy a book that's telling them to Shut Up, Move On. A book title has to work from the outset, and Paul, yours just doesn't.'

Despite my passion for what I was writing I had some genuine concerns. Was anyone really going to take seriously a book that encouraged ‘Fruity Thinking,' said Hippo Time was OK and that we might want to Ditch Doris Day? I had my doubts, but I chose to allow them to occupy the seats at the back of my mind. The seats at the front were where hope and expectation sat. However, doubt was sometimes encouraged to take centre stage by some well-meaning friends who sensitively asked ‘What will you do if it's a flop? How will you cope with the disappointment?' Who needs enemies, eh?

My mentor and best mate Paul Sandham was slightly more encouraging: ‘You've got a unique, quirky style bud. It won't be to everyone's taste, but it will connect with more people than you realize. Just make sure you share your struggles, not just your successes. That's what will make this book different.' So I did.

As you'll discover, I've sought to add some colour and context to what you're about to read. My goal is not just simply to share some ideas, but to highlight how these ideas have helped me overcome some of my own challenges. Ten years on from its first publication, it seems my mate Paul had a point – people connect with stories. People not only read mine, but contacted me to share theirs. You see, I realize that although we may never have met, we do have things in common. Most of us are not celebrities. We're not chased by the paparazzi. Our photos don't appear in magazines. Our weight gain or weight loss is not a source of news for the gossip columns. But we all have our own story – something that is significant to us personally. We're all still of equal importance even if that doesn't equate to equal profile. Ultimately, we're all on a similar journey. It's called life.

We have our dreams. We have our disappointments. We're full of hope. We also get hurt. We fall. We get back up. We press on. We give up. We wake up happy. We wake up sad. We delight in the company of friends and family. We despair when we feel rejected and alone. Life, at times, seems utterly amazing and at other times appears to make no sense. Our relationships are our biggest source of pleasure and also our biggest source of pain. We sometimes savour the special moments but sleepwalk through the majority of them. We feel we're capable of anything but our doubts are our constant companions. We surprise ourselves. We despair of ourselves.

So, we may be from different places, different backgrounds and be different ages, but we still have so much in common. It's what we have in common that seems to connect with the readers of this book. Deep down I sensed it would. How could I be so sure?

Well, I don't just write about the SUMO message. I speak about it too. As I write the preface to this 10th anniversary edition, the number of countries I've shared these ideas in has reached 40. Tens of thousands of people have heard this message. A few have ridiculed both me and my ideas. But most have related to them. My message, I feel humbled to say, has resonated with people across all ages, from all backgrounds and amongst all cultures. Not everyone gets my humour. You'll see why later. But many do connect with some, if not all, of what I'm saying.

Yet, if you're reading this book for the first time, you're reading it in a world that is vastly different from the world of those who first opened these pages back in 2005. What we now take for granted as very much part of our everyday lives was either in its infancy or did not even exist when this book was first published. On Facebook? Me too. But its creator Mark Zuckerberg only developed it in 2004. In 2005 it was only available to college students in the United States. When SUMO was first published, it's likely only a few people outside of the US had heard of Facebook. Yet today it has so many users that if Facebook was a country it would be the third largest on the planet behind China and India. In 2005 you called people ‘friends' because you actually knew them.

What about Twitter? I love to tweet (@thesumoguy if you want to connect). Back in 2005 no one had heard of it, let alone used it. Why? Twitter wasn't launched until July 2006.

What about YouTube? In 2005 the domain name was secured, but no videos were uploaded until later in the year. It wasn't launched in the UK until my wife's birthday, June 19th 2007. To be fair, I don't think my wife's birthday had much to do with the launch, but I so wished I'd filmed her at our romantic meal out near the monkey enclosure at Chester Zoo that day. If I had, you would have been able to witness for yourself the look of joy on her face as we chilled out with the baboons and gorillas while we ate our cheese and pickle sandwiches and consumed several pork pies. (Yes, you've guessed it, I'm from the north of England.)

The ‘financial crisis' was something people remembered happening back in the 1980s and early 1990s. Few, if any, economists back in 2005 were predicting the financial global meltdown that was to take place three years later.

In 2005 you probably also used your watch to tell the time, regretted not having your camera to capture a special moment and simply zoned out when conversations became boring. You see, SUMO was first published in a world devoid of iPhones. There were no apps. It was difficult to see photos of what meals your friends had been eating earlier that day. How did we survive? I'm not sure.

Now, a world of immense possibility to enhance both connection and conflict exists because of such technological development and ideas. It has also multiplied, perhaps a hundredfold, the amount of distractions we now accept as being a normal part of our day-to-day lives. Why reflect when I can tweet? Why converse with the people I'm with when I can connect with ‘friends' I've never met? Why engage with my children when I can place headphones on them and sit them in front of an iPad?

If there's one word to sum up the last decade it would not be change. That's too obvious. No, the word would be ‘relentless'. A relentless amount of change, happening at a relentless speed where standing still means you're going backwards and staying in the game means not staying in the same place. No human being that's ever walked upon this planet in previous generations has had to deal with the relentless pace of life and change we now take for granted. Life, for many people, is like being on a rollercoaster which never stops and the brakes are no longer working.

This is our current reality, and as such I think the SUMO message is perhaps even more relevant and applicable to life now than it was when it was first published ten years ago. Here's why I think that's the case. If you and I are to maximize our potential and the opportunities that life has for us, there are several factors which I believe will contribute to this. Each one is, to some extent, explored within the SUMO approach. Let me give you a brief overview of what these factors are.

Reflection. At the heart of SUMO is the call to get off auto-pilot; to stop and press pause. Our relentlessly fast-paced, busy and distraction-filled world does not encourage this. People now pay thousands of pounds to escape the noise of the world – to find silence. SUMO, however, will help you to reflect in a very honest and practical way about a number of aspects of your life. Some of these reflections will bring you reassurance, but others may cause you to reconsider your priorities and current behaviour. The SUMO challenge is to live with increased awareness, attention and appreciation.

As the Latin writer Publilius Syrus said, ‘Awareness, not age, leads to wisdom.' Reflection gives you the opportunity to become more self-aware.

Recovery. The pace of change and the tidal wave of distractions can be exhausting. Not just physically, but, perhaps even more importantly, mentally. Modern technology means we are more accessible than ever before. But this, in turn, means we're finding it increasingly difficult to switch off. I don't know what it's like for women, but I'm increasingly seeing guys on their mobile phones whilst relieving themselves at the urinal. I've eavesdropped on some very interesting conversations whilst taking a comfort break at various service stations throughout the UK.

The reality is our minds are being constantly stimulated. We're not allowing ourselves to press pause and take time out. And despite the mental fatigue that this brings, more and more people are reporting difficulty in sleeping.

I work with a Premiership football team. These elite sportspeople need to be in peak physical and mental condition. And what might surprise some people is the important role recovery time plays in this. It's built into their training programme. It's not a nice option – it's a necessity.

You might not be an elite sportsperson, but you're about to discover that the SUMO approach encourages us to build recovery time into our own lives.

Perhaps we need to take a lesson from the airlines. In their safety announcements they always state the following: If there's a drop in cabin pressure, put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.

Responsibility. More than any other animal humans are hugely dependent on others for our survival when we're born. But some people believe they can live their whole lives relying on others to meet their needs. People can develop a sense of entitlement that the world owes them a living, that teachers, employers and governments should take responsibility for our welfare and well-being.

Well, here's the deal. This way of thinking will seriously undermine a person's ability to make the most of their time on this planet. As you'll discover, taking personal responsibility (whilst still being open to support from others) will be the cornerstone to you achieving the life you want.

Resilience. We mentioned earlier that life at times can be described as a rollercoaster. It has both ups and downs. However, it's how you deal with the down times, the setbacks, the challenges and disappointments that influences whether such events derail you or drive you on to succeed. Throughout this book, and particularly in one chapter, you'll discover how to develop resilience when the going gets tough.

Relationships. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. That's true in both your personal and professional life. The people in your world play a significant role in influencing how you see yourself and the opportunities life can offer. As I mentioned earlier, these relationships will be your biggest source of joy. They'll also be your biggest source of pain. Either way, relationships are the bedrock of our lives and there are ways to enhance them.

Let me be very clear on this. Good relationships are not simply a matter of luck. As you'll discover, the SUMO approach will explore a simple visual metaphor that thousands of people claim has helped them reduce conflict, communicate more clearly and build better relationships with others. Of course, simply reading about it won't magically and mysteriously cause relationships to succeed. But taking action and applying the insights will increase your chances.

Resourcefulness. Lots of things are nice to have. I would like to go into McDonalds and order a lobster thermidor. But it's not on the menu.

Sadly, some people spend time and energy focusing on what is not on their menu – in other words, they focus on what isn't in their lives rather than what is. Now, not only is this deeply dissatisfying and demotivating, it distracts you from the positive things that are happening in your life and the many skills and abilities you have. The SUMO approach helps us understand the importance of where we choose to focus our attention. The challenge is not to see ourselves as a helpless victim, but as someone who, with the help of others, can discover inner resources and develop new ones to meet the challenges of life.

As you'll discover, the key is to explore and focus on the range of possibilities and options for moving forward rather than being sucked into simply obsessing over problems.

Reality. I'm sometimes referred to as a motivational speaker. That's a term which sends some people reaching for the sick bucket. Perhaps these people view motivational speakers as out of touch with reality, having an approach to life which is superficial at best and dangerous at worst. It's more ‘rah-rah' than reality. Well, firstly I acknowledge there are some speakers like that. But many aren't – they offer both inspiration and ideas to encourage and equip people.