Читать книгу Who You Wit'? - Paula Chase - Страница 12

“These sleeping dogs won’t lie.”

—All-American Rejects, “Dirty Little Secret”

If Mina had any lingering day after regrets or jitters, Jacinta couldn’t tell. The ride to school was same as always: Jacinta walked to Mina’s house. Brian drove up in his Explorer and blew the horn once. Jacinta hopped in the back, mumbled a “how y’all doing?” to the guys; Michael, still waking up, gave his usual nod while JZ hollered, “hey, girl,” louder than necessary at six-thirty AM as Mina waited impatiently for him to relinquish his hold on the front seat. The two exchanged a few obligatory barbs, “Move, big head,” followed by, “Why can’t you sit in the back?” even as JZ obliged. Then Mina stepped in, bent over the middle console, and planted her sweetie kiss on Brian’s lips.

End scene.

It was the same morning every school day—had been for fifteen months.

For all of Mina’s confusion and uncertainty yesterday, today was just today, same as last Monday and every Monday before it.

Jacinta toyed with that thought as the clique joked around her, amazed at how the world kept going even when something huge was happening to people. Watching Mina nag at JZ and tease Michael, all while keeping her arm just near enough to Brian’s on the console that they touched, Jacinta had to remind herself that just twelve hours ago, Mina had been a total wreck.

A bitter envy stung Jacinta at the way Mina went wherever her emotions carried her. She thought she was used to Mina’s very public highs and lows. Whether she was being embarrassed in front of half the student body on a beach or rambling in the hallway excitedly, Mina wore how she felt on her sleeve and dared anyone to give her grief for it—which Jacinta did.

At first, Jacinta teased Mina’s brimming emotions because it irked her. She wasn’t used to being around girls so open with their feelings, and sometimes, being around Mina was like having a single fly swarm your head. You could swat and swat, but the fly kept flitting about.

Jacinta poked fun at Mina simply because it was easier than admitting that she wished she could be so free with her emotions, at least every now and then. But crying in public or gushing about how much she loved Raheem just wasn’t her.

She wished it was because then, maybe at some point the other day, she could have found a way to bring up her own minicrisis.

Mini was putting it mildly. But she was sticking to that adjective to hold off the panic lurking at the corners of her mind.

The clique’s clucking grew louder as Michael joined in, his early morning freeze thawing at the same exact spot as always—as the SUV glided slowly out of The Woods and onto the main strip, where it would take ten minutes to get to DRB High. Always ten minutes. Twenty if Brian stopped at the Blarney Bean, an early morning hangout that served the hottest (and in Jacinta’s opinion, nastiest) coffee ever.

Her disdain for the Blarney was the minority opinion. The shop was routinely packed with students and commuters alike in the morning. The only equivalent was Rio’s Ria in the afternoon, after the high and middle schools let out. If Jacinta didn’t know better, she’d swear both places laced their food with crack to keep the streams of people spilling out of their doors. She loved the Ria. But slurping up Blarney iced or hot coffee was one ’burb habit Jacinta passed on.

She silently willed Brian to bypass the coffeehouse this morning and cheered inside when the truck crawled along in the dense traffic instead of joining the left turn lane. No espresso today, she thought relieved. Just the thought of the strong coffee’s thick scent tugged at her empty stomach, making it cramp. The involuntary contraction stopped her swirling thoughts. She held her breath for a beat, waiting and getting what she wanted—another lurching clench.

Yes!

Jacinta relaxed in the leather seats and waited for the cramps to grow from a whisper to a squall in her belly and for the first time in days, allowed her mind to go to the other reason she was glad her period was coming.

It was late. Three days late, to be exact.

She shuddered at the four-letter word.

JZ nudged her. “Want me put the window up?”

Jacinta shook her head. It was an unseasonably warm morning, and the cool spring air floating into the truck actually calmed her. Still, she absently hugged her arms closer to her body, as if warding off the chill coursing down her spine from the thought of L-A-T-E.

JZ gave her one last confused frown before answering Brian about their weekly pickup game. Mina loudly reminded Michael that he would be missing the game or risk her wrath because he’d promised to deliver Mina’s prom dress that day. Jacinta laughed along with everyone else at the empty threat. Michael was every bit of five inches taller than Mina’s petite five feet. She was hardly someone to fear, unless you just didn’t feel like hearing her mouth. No one knew that better than Michael, and he went along good-naturedly.

Yesterday had been the first time Jacinta had ever seen perpetually upbeat Mina so freaked out. Check that. Mina could overreact with the best of them. But it was always coupled with a bright side or a plan. Mina had been planless, yesterday, torn about the pact and the fact that there was no way she could take it.

No matter how many times Jacinta pointed out that everything couldn’t be broken down into steps, her friends believed in preparing like some people believed in God. In Jacinta’s opinion, as much as she had grown to love her ’burb girlfriends, their obsession with planning was exactly why they were always so lost when something unexpected hit them.

Not like her.

Shit happens…all the time. That was Jacinta’s philosophy.

It was why when Raheem smacked her at the cheer competition (the girls still talked about that like it had happened yesterday instead of last year), then Jacinta had smacked him back to remind him that he was fool crazy for raising his hand at her.

It was why she and Raheem broke up, then got back together and argued on occasion (many occasions).

It was why, since Raheem had made it official that he was committing to Georgetown, he’d suddenly been “we, we’ing” her to death.

Every time they talked, it was “we this,” and “we that,” about their future.

And, it was why her period was late. Shit happens…all the time, even apparently, when you did what you could to prevent it.

Jacinta zoned in on the passing scenery, large houses, small houses, lush green trees blooming with pretty flowers, nothing like the sparse landscaping in her old neighborhood, and realized she actually knew who lived in at least half a dozen of the homes they passed. And not just knew them, but had hung out with them, made memories all along the corridor that led from the high school to the neighborhoods surrounding Cimarra Beach.

To the left was Todd’s house, a big brick house with a stone driveway, and Jared Cornwell’s was the bright yellow rancher. Jacinta and the girls had once chased Jared halfway to the school after he water ballooned them. In a second, the truck would pass the spot where JZ had smacked the bottom of Kelly’s peppermint mochachino cup, making it fly out of her hand and all over the sidewalk. It was the first time Jacinta had ever seen Kelly get seriously angry—so mad that JZ had to walk back to the Blarney and buy her a new one.

Jacinta couldn’t say when it happened, but The Woods and DRB High school had finally become her home. It had been an unsettling realization at first, but now she had so many connections to the people and the places she saw everyday that it had been forever since she’d cursed how slow the week went, aching to be back in Pirates Cove on weekends. Now, it was the opposite. She’d go to The Cove to see her family and count the hours to head back and check in with the clique, especially JZ, who had become her escape. Around him, she didn’t have to think about boyfriends and futures or (no disrespect to Mina and the girls) being so correct and proper, worrying about hurting someone’s feelings with one of her blunt truths.

Jacinta never worried that any drama would pop off when she dropped in to see JZ, something she’d taken to doing (apparently not as on the low as she thought) after especially cloying weekends with Raheem. And lately, every weekend with Raheem was smothering.

Hanging out with JZ wasn’t anything she hid from the clique, just not anything either of them announced or talked about. They were just friends. If the friendliness dipped into a fierce game of flirting…well, who could blame her? JZ was…

Jacinta inhaled sharply at another dull twisting of her insides, stronger this time. As the clenching subsided, her breath leaked out slowly in relief.

Yes, it’s coming, she thought excitedly.

Even though she was used to shit happening, words couldn’t describe how happy she was to ride the crimson wave this month.

Not one single word.

But seven hours and ten trips to the bathroom later, she did have a few words to describe how she was feeling: terrified, on edge, and sick. The dull warning of the cramp storm had stopped shortly after her first class. Distracted, Jacinta had spent the day asking to be excused to the restroom by every single teacher, plus a few stops in between classes, hoping, praying that the cramps would return and bring the flow of her cycle with it.

With the last bell still echoing in her ears and students spilling out all around her, Jacinta stood at the double doors of the school’s entrance, staring out into the teacher’s parking lot, a sea of cars and SUVs that went on for rows. The vehicles waited patiently for their turn to leave while students’ cars revved up and sped out in the surrounding lots. Jacinta gazed out at the still lot, wishing for some of its stoic silence to quiet her mind.

Mina was in front of one of the concrete benches under the flagpole, talking to three girls, two cheerleaders and a girl Jacinta didn’t recognize. The four of them stood clustered together, deep in conversation. Every few seconds, one of them would look up, smile, flirt, laugh, or shout good-bye to friends passing by before going back to the discussion.

No doubt solving a real crisis, like whether to choose polyester shorts over mesh for next year’s cheer camp, Jacinta thought, unable to avoid the disgust crawling up her throat. She swallowed it like a bitter pill, refusing to feel sorry for herself. She closed her eyes for a second—to better hear her own body—last check to see if the cramps were lurking somewhere deep inside. But her stomach was silent, minus a low rumble to remind her that she’d skipped lunch.

She snorted softly, defeated, before pushing the doors open and walking into the swirl of students heading toward buses and their own cars. Her steps, slow and deliberate to ensure Mina’s friends were gone before she reached the flagpole, clicked lightly against the walkway. Exhaust from the buses pulling off got tangled in the warm air and wafted her way. She wiped at her nose absently.

“Hey,” Mina called when Jacinta was only steps away. “Brian had some after school…thing. Some graduation meeting. Wanna walk to the Ria and meet JZ, Liz, and Todd?”

“Okay, Mina. We’ll talk to you later,” one of the cheerleaders said.

“See y’all.” Mina waved, turning her full attention to Jacinta. “I’m not all that hungry. But I’m down for heading to the Ria if you are. Brian said we could wait for him. He’s only gonna be like a half hour. But we could have been home and back by that time.”

“Mina, give me a second,” Jacinta snapped softly. She sat on the concrete bench and dropped her tote bag beside her. It kiltered dangerously near the edge, threatening to spill her books.

“My bad.” Mina’s eyebrows raised slightly. She took a seat beside Jacinta. “Bad day or boy trouble?”

“Both,” Jacinta said glumly.

Still holding on to the straps, she nudged gently at her tote with her butt, letting it fall down to the ground. She folded one leg under her and turned toward Mina. “It’s a really bad day, and it’s ’cause a boy got me in trouble.”

Mina laughed loudly and was about to make a joke until she saw how serious Jacinta’s face was.

“Wait. Trouble like what?” Mina’s eyes narrowed.

Jacinta rolled her eyes at Mina’s playing dumb. Her eyebrows spiked, and she stretched her neck in a comical prod, as if to say, “now, what do you think?”

“Trouble like detention? Or suspension?” Mina leaned in, whispering. “Or trouble like, somebody ready to be a momma up in here?”

Jacinta laughed at that. Hearing Mina come close to revealing her problem sucked some of the fear away. Not a lot, but some. She nodded. “Yeah, trouble like that…the third one.”

Mina scooted closer, and she folded her legs under her, going into full-scale friend mode, so she and Jacinta were only inches apart. “Oh, my God. Are you freaking?” Her hand thumped on her chest dramatically. “Oh, my God, I’d be freak-ing.”

“I’m alright,” Jacinta lied.

“Alright?” Mina’s voice rose. Her head bobbed to the left, then right as she checked out the near empty campus. Aside from a few teachers filtering out, she and Jacinta were practically alone out front now. “Does Raheem know?”

“He knows my period is late. But I really thought it would come on this morning.” Jacinta shook her head in disbelief that it had betrayed her. “I told him to call me to check. He should be calling soon.”

As if summoned, Jacinta’s phone shouted, “Partner, let me upgrade ya,” then proceeded to play a bar from the Beyoncé song before Jacinta flipped it open.

“Hey, Heem.”

“Wassup, girl,” Raheem said.

“Nothing.” Jacinta leaned her elbows on her thighs and away from Mina’s curious gaze. Immediately, all the control fled. She silently cursed the tight knot in her stomach, willing its tightness to be from her period and not the doom she felt crowding her. Telling Raheem was the easy part compared to…well, she didn’t want to think about telling anyone else.

Easy or not, she braced herself for Raheem’s rant. She’d probably have to hear all about how not ready he was to be a father. Like she was ready to be a mother? But he was heading to Georgetown University late this summer—she was pretty sure they didn’t allow babies in the dorm.

Mina tapped her, mouthing something.

“Hold up for a second,” Jacinta said to Raheem. She brought the phone away from her ear. “Huh?”

“Want to walk to the Ria or just stay here?” Mina asked.

The Ria was only a short five-minute walk across the school’s soccer fields and the main street, but walking, doing anything would be better than nothing. Jacinta stood up, picked up her bag, and signaled that she wanted to walk.

They took their time, using the sidewalk around instead of cutting through the teacher’s lot.

“So, what’s up? Did it come on?” Raheem asked.

“Nope.”

Jacinta’s heart pounded in her ears as she waited for Raheem to flip out. Instead, his voice came back a hushed whisper. “Damn. For real?”

“For real,” Jacinta said.

The short answers were helping her keep her cool. Keeping her from screeching into the phone, “What are we going to do? What? Huh? What are we going to do?!”

“So we gon’ have a little baller, huh?” Raheem said, the smile in his voice unmistakable.

Jacinta took the phone off her ear and stared at it, scowling, like it had licked her.

“What?” Mina asked. “Dead spot?”

“Raheem, are you serious?” Jacinta asked, her voice hitting that note of incredulity that meant she wasn’t just confused, she was pissed.

“Well, I guess it could be a little girl. But girls be hoopin’ too,” he said.

Jacinta stopped abruptly. Mina sputtered to a halt beside her. “Alright, where is the real Raheem? And who the hell are you?”

Raheem laughed. “What? You thought I was gon’ trip?”

“Yes. I’m tripping. Why aren’t you?”

Jacinta kept taking the phone off her ear and staring at it.

“’Cause there’s worst things that could happen, I guess,” Raheem said, a shrug in his voice.

“Yeah, like my father killing you and me.”

“I know that’s right,” Raheem said. There was silence on both ends; then with another verbal shrug, he said, “But Jamal know I’m gon’ take care of mine.”

“Alright, look, we need to have this conversation in person,” Jacinta said with real authority. She shook her head. “’Cause I don’t know if you’re joking or what. But…” She paused, as if pondering another option, then snorted. “Naw, we need to talk.” Her eyebrows squinted in genuine confusion. “You heard me right? About my period?”

“Yeah. You said it’s not coming on or…whatever, it was supposed to come on a few days ago, and it didn’t,” Raheem said matter-of-factly like Jacinta was the crazy one. “But alright, holler at me later. I can dip by today or tomorrow.”

“Bye, Heem,” Jacinta said. She flipped the phone shut, still shaking her head in a slow tick tock motion.

She and Mina stood on the sidewalk, waiting for the light to turn so they could cross over to the Ria. Traffic was light this time of day, the calm before the rush hour storm, and cars floated by lazily.

“What did he say?” Mina asked, raising her voice to be heard above the passing cars. “Was he mad?”

“Naw, he wasn’t mad,” Jacinta said. Her eyebrows tightly knit, she shook her head. “But I wish he had been.”