Читать книгу The Power of Time - Павел Миллер - Страница 3

Ascending to the school porch, Maxim walked slowly enjoying crunch of the clean snow. Then he stopped and took a look on the school yard that was still covered with the virginal white snow. “Strange, that has never happened before that I was the first one to come to school. Wow…” He stood still for some time, watching flying snow flakes, delighted by the windless and coolness of the frosty morning. Suddenly, Max noticed his footsteps and thought: "Can it be that I am such an insecure person? Footsteps are uneven, as thought I was staggering. When walking, seems even!" Getting ready to enter the school, Maxim noticed another oddity: on the turns he walked steadily and securely, without rush, however steps were located on the various length from each other and with the same number of steps to the left and right the distance significantly differed.

"What does it mean? – thought Max and after turning left walked eight steps. Then he turned around to the starting point and repeated his action. Then walked to the right. The result was the same. «Why is it happening this way? It can be like that in life: when a person thinks about something and trying to do it, something will be on the way not wanting for the event to occur exactly to the plan. Everything will be like it should be!" – disserted the student of the tenth grade. After changing in the dressing room, he ascended to the third floor for the lesson of Russian language. He looked fifteen years old, medium height, athletic build, with dark hair, green eyes and comely face, serious sight and smile. At that moment he was upset from the overwhelming facts of reality. Maxim was deliberating the problem of reality, imagination for a long time, as well as the human drive to do everything his way: «Don’t the steps prove that theory? No matter how you try, there won’t be precision, till you deviate from the verity, deceive, disguise or do things in the way they should not be done…»

School was silent, no one was there yet, and every movement which was accompanied by the sound created loud echo. Maxim felt somehow unusual, and rules of Russian grammar could not be recalled before the test. He looked at the classroom door and did not even want to attend the class: «Why do I need a failing grade? Next class is chemistry anyway – chemistry, which means another failing grade. Very good! Then algebra – a third one. All together! Totally perfect! Yes, by the end of the week things are going not so good». Max’s face became serious, cheeks blushed: «Why did I decide to go to school today, does not make any sense! Got a headache yesterday, failed to do homework, and woke up early to make it to school without rush. Footsteps… Yes, I answered the question that bothered me, so what?»

Max got annoyed by thinking of nothing as well as of sitting at the cold window, so he made an effort, lifted himself and looked out of the window. School was entered by the students, voices and steps were heard, they were disturbing habitual science, disturbed from thoughts. He felt his own insignificance, when students started to pass the hall carrying bags and backpacks. They were running somewhere, hustled for the reason unknown, talked about something… Boring to listen to them! Max did not feel like communicating to his classmates today, he felt dreary in his soul and he did not know why. Sitting away from others, Maxim waited for the bell to ring.

Finally, the bell rang; all classes entered the rooms to begin studies, and only the class 10 "В" remained near the cabinet. In ten minutes’ school administrator Polina Pavlovna – tall, attractive and a very intelligent woman, a teacher of algebra and geometry in high school classes approached the class. Her curly hair up to the shoulder dyed in chestnut color, expressive face with brown eyes always looked good. Smooth, slow footsteps, showing calmness and imperturbable confidence in tomorrow allured with grace and charm. She was passing down the hall totally tranquil, but Max realized already that the lesson of Russian was cancelled. He looked at Polina Pavlovna and tried to predict her words. That was easy and complex at the same time.

– Good morning, students! Have you been waiting long? Svetlana Victorovna did not feel good yesterday, and classes were cancelled. Right now, not to waste time, proceed to Ekaterina Savelievna to the chemistry class.

Administrator spoke so quietly and calmly that it seemed every word insinuates in your soul and finds something to hold on to there. Her speech was appealing, like something inexperienced and frightening that attracts and intimidates at the same time by its inscrutability. Polina Pavlovna spoke like that every time, under any circumstances. It is always interesting to listen to her, even when the talk has no purpose.

– Polina Pavlovna, – girls bubbled all together at once, – can we go to your class?! Algebra is the last class we have!

– No, students! We have a test today; you need to understand that I can’t give a test to two classes at the same time. You need to write it today. So please understand my point and do not take offence. Ok?

Polina Pavlovna smiled, and even thought she could never make a perfect smile, companions always felt the warmth and tenderness she wanted to express.

– Can you let us leave earlier? Can we take a test second time if we fail it? – classmates were trying to waste time not to go to a chemistry class.

Raising from window sill, Max slowly walked down to corridor to the stairs, speculating how to explain his mother a bad grade in chemistry class: «There is no way I should go to algebra, then I can make it with one failing grade. But for mom it is already an occasion: one or many, the fact of having a bad grade this is what matters. Affray is expected». With every step he wanted to go less and less, finally did not want to go at all, but he had to! Had to get that failing grade! But what for? Max could not find an answer to that question. Before taking the steps he turned around and heard the voice of Polina Pavlovna:

– Nothing is going to change. Whoever finished work, can submit it and leave. If someone receives a failing or a poor grade and wants a better one, I will schedule a day for another test. Or you can take it during independent study time in class. Ok, go to the lesson, we have been talking for ten minutes already.

She approached the stairs where Maxim stood. May be he should tell her that he is not ready and wants to take a test another time? It would be a way not to go to a class today! Students outran teachers and already reached the second floor, when Polina Pavlovna reached the place where Maxim stood. At first he could not find courage to speak up. It is not comfortable to excuse yourself from the class.

– Polina Pavlovna, I need to go to the hospital to see a doctor. May I take a test during the next class and not go to the lesson today?

– Yes, Maxim, of course you can. There is no problem in that, if you need to go to the hospital – then go.

– Good bye, thank you Polina Pavlovna! You are such a wonderful person! – he whispered when she left.

Opening the doors of the chemistry classroom right in front of Maxim’s nose, Ekaterina Savelievna asked with in a strict voice:

– Shtuforuk, why everyone is here and you are running late? I was going to search for you! – she opened the door wide for Max to enter and continued:

– Put your bag down and go to the black board, please tell the class about isomers of carbon. Like usual, begin with physical properties and chemical structure and proceed to the reaction with acids and alkalis. Reactions will be written by someone else.

Maxim stood near his desk not thinking about anything and was waiting for a moment to announce that he was not ready for the class. Finally, a teacher finished her speech and looked at him attentively waiting for an answer.

– Ekaterina Savelienvna, I am not ready today, please don’t give me a failing grade. I promise I will give an answer at the next lesson.

– At the next lesson we’ll have another topic. You will give me an answer after classes when I have time but for now I shall give you a grade you deserve. If you correct it – good, if not – it will remain.

– Ekaterina Savelievna…

– I do not want this to happen any more! Next time you will be prepared in the timely matter. Enough, sit down. Who else is not ready? Tell me now, let’s not waste time.

The rest of the time till the end of the class Max wasn’t giving attention to the teacher, his friends sitting near, and of course not to the lesson. In his thoughts he was home and anguished about upcoming quarrel over the failing mark. He could not stand them: fracas have no point! And what is a failing grade? Right now you do not know the subject, but in a moment you know it and receive an excellent grade! So what is the meaning of fighting over it? Those thoughts were occupying head and disturbed thinking about something else, much more important. At that time, experiencing gloomy feelings, Max hoped that nothing else negative would happen that day.

The bell rang and Max, not talking to anyone, descended to the first floor, got dressed and left to the school porch. During the time of the lesson the yard became all covered with snow, and now, and the peak of the dawn, clean snow was blinding. Inhaling fresh air, Maxim felt slight dizziness and remained still to calm down. Then he stood on the step and started to get down carefully, since the stairs were covered with even layer of snow, fused together, and it was not possible to detect where to step. He recalled the morning thoughts about the footsteps on the snow but already was not paying attention to them, carefully passing paths and roads, playing for time to reach home. He needed to go home to pick up medical documents for visiting the doctor at hospital to check his condition after the surgery.

It was about eleven am when Maxim arrived to the decision to go home, giving himself a promise not to pay attention to what mother was going to say. Staying near the front door, he heard his mother doing laundry, running to the kitchen and rattling pans, managing to cook and do washing at the same time. As Max assumed, she remained in a great mood. He knew very well that his mother, Valentina Nikolaevna, feels herself totally peaceful and free only when she is home alone. Right now he has to break her intimate world again, set her free from the flow of the unnecessary emotions and bank that squall on his life scenario, which was growing more and more dramatic each day and affected Maxim poorly. He did not want to accept that any more, did not want to carry that burden.

Inside everything turned upside down and Max saw abysm in front of himself which had no bottom. Now! Now specifically he needs to avoid this downfall! But how? Nowhere to step on… Dizziness grew stronger and Max opened the door with his key. Mother did not hear the noise that he made; keeping in mind he needed to be at school at that time. Quietly entering the apartment, he looked at his beloved mother who always reacted inadequately at his actions. She was short, alive, energetic and constantly busy with something, strict and always requiring irrecusable submission. Her short hair, thin brows, big eyes, round cheeks, beautiful lips and nose – all her look was not usual and full of charms. Max started to feel hot and took shoes off; then he went to the room, grabbed his medical card and got dressed. At that moment mother noticed him. They both froze and looked at each other as if spotted something ethereal. Laundry machine stopped the cycle, snorted loudly and halted. Valentina Nikolaevna even flinched, but immediately came to life:

– Оh! What are you doing home?

– I came to pick up a medical card to go to hospital.

– Why did not you take it right away? Not to return to school?! What is going on?!

«She is loosing temper already, – thought Maxim. – If I tell her that I failed chemistry, who knows what is going to happen…»

– Which classes did you go to?!

– Literature was cancelled… – Max said quietly and understood that mother already figured out about his grade.

– What was then? What were you asked? What have you got?! I need to get everything out of you again?!

He had time to put shoes on already and tried to leave but mother blocked his way and when he tried to bypass her she pushed him forcefully and started to slash with a cloth on a face, yelling hysterically:

– What did you get?! For how long are you going to humiliate me?!

Maxim did not want to take any action, not even speak, but time was running fast and he, extending a hand for another cloth slash, pulled it away from his mother’s hand and threw in the leaving room, forcing out of himself with a major effort:

– I failed chemistry. Only one class! Are you satisfied? The rest I will fail tomorrow.

He stood up from the pier-glass abruptly, while his mother was standing still, astonished from what she heard, and passed in the narrow way.

"Could I work him to the rage? – Thought Valentina Nikolaevna after he left. At that moment she felt that she does not like to fume herself, but enjoys traumatizing and getting on his nerves. She was astonished at her actions. A very strange feeling. Right now, being a little shocked, she clearly understood it but in the usual condition-never. The door Maxim slammed sobered her mind but Valentina Nikolaevna didn’t even remembered what happen recently.

Leaving the house, Max saw nothing in front of him and his thoughts were very far away. At that time it appeared that everything happening does not depend on him, as if it was a regular event, not a burdensome one. However, why it affects his feelings the way it does he could not explain. Newly precipitated and joyfully crisping snow, fresh frosty air still had some influence on Maxim. Brightening sun light blinded him. Passing near school, he heard sparrows twittering, looked under his feet and noticed that the snow level is already reaching his ankle.

Sky was covered with clouds but in the gaps sunlight was giving warmth and Max hold for a minute trying to calm down. He did not succeed in that thought – tears were trying to break through. At that time he did not want to go anywhere. He grabbed snow and felt coldness, even thought it was not really cold, he just acknowledged that he should be feeling coldness. Hands turned wet and reddish and started to evaporate steam. Young man remembered his return home and another wave of emotions and impressions overwhelmed him, disturbing from clear thinking. He did not remember how he made it to the hospital but when he saw the tall porch he stopped and marvelled the view. It was all powdered with an even layer of snow and appeared ethereal. Maxim lifted his foot carefully, drowned it in the snow, making sure that he stands steadily, and slowly walked up the hospital stairs. Grabbing the door handle he suddenly realized that something was going to happen to him in the hospital: something was warning him of the waylaying danger.

However, putting those thoughts away, Maxim opened the door, entered the hospital and became surrounded by the repelling sultry and unbearable medication smell. Passing the hall and endless lines of people waiting, he was searching for his doctor’s office. Furious mothers who were ready to tear each other in pieces for their child to go first were getting on his nerves enormously. Not slowing down his confident footsteps, he tried to enter the office, boldly elbowing through the crowd of moms and grandmothers. At that time he attracted everyone’s attention. Blocking the office door, one of the most audacious mothers decided to show an example of outstanding courtesy:

– Young man! Where do you think you are going?!

Max was looking at the woman what reminded his mother very much and thought: «I never had so much hatred in my life»! The head stopped spinning but started to ache more, breath fastened, hands turned into fists. He noticed how the expression of woman’s face changed and it became elongated.

– Give me a way, please – Maxim tried to say as calm as possible but it seemed to frighten a woman even more and she remained on her spot.

– Young man! Leave the passage-way, you are blocking it!

Maxim looked at those nervous and unhealthy faces and he felt more and more uncomfortable. It was very unpleasant to hear rude speech. Office door opened, and the overweight woman had to leave her position. Maxim entered the office without procrastination and shut the door at the face of the next patient.

– It is already 2 pm Maxim, why did not you come earlier? You understand that if something happens with you, I shall be responsible for that, – Doctor Vera Petrovna was worried. Her anxiety was so obvious that it was nonsensical to try to conceal it.

– I am very sorry… – Maxim started but at that moment the office door opened and the obese woman broke in with an angry speech:

– What is going on?! I was waiting here from the early morning and still can’t be admitted! For how long is it going to take place?! Young man, why did you enter without waiting in line? I have warned you…

– Ma’am! Leave the office and close the door behind you! Right now! – Loudly but calmly said Vera Petrovna with a lot of confidence so that the woman became dumbfounded and stood frozen. Max started to shake and felt disgust to remain in the hospital, keeping in mind that he could not stand hospitals in general. He had to hold himself not to jab the woman out and said quietly:

– Should I give you assistance? Or you would leave by yourself?

– Don’t waste your own time, – Vera Petrovna continued to explain to the closing door.

After the check-in he ran out of the office and ran in the troubled foreperson of the sick patients. It felt as if he had hit his head on the wall – wave of their emotions and sensed strong pressure, his heat beat fastened again, footsteps became faster. It was as thought he had flied through the crowd of angry people, rushed by humiliation and evil looks that created noise in the head. He made it to the hospital porch, inhaled fresh air, which felt really fresh after the hospital odor and felt that his feet were taking him further, as if the ground had left his feet. Maxim rolled from the porch quickly and could not stand up. All of the sudden the head started to spin and he felt nausea. He could not say for how long he stayed there. When it became cold he moved and tried to stand up but could not do that. Then, grabbing the hospital handrail, Maxim lifted himself with the arm force and touched ground with feet. Standing on the feet appeared very difficult, left foot hurt badly… After some time Max took a look at the porch again. Even the head stopped spinning when he saw that all the steps were covered with thick, even layer of ice!! This is where he traumatized his left foot when he was falling from the porch rolling on those steps… Maxim took an effort to step on the foot and almost fell down, so he grabbed the rails again. Only after he had straightened the foot totally, grinding teeth from the pain, Max limped to the closest house and sat on the bench. He started to sweat, and then felt coldness and thought: «I need to go home, even thought that is the last thing I want to do».