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CLUB TIMES

For Members’ Eyes Only

Bachelor Beware!

There must be something in the water to cause all these pregnancies and marriages in Mission Creek. I’ve done some initial testing in my love laboratory, but results are inconclusive. Oh, I’m pulling your leg, members. I’m no scientist, but I have put three of the LSCC’s cleaning ladies on “Wedding Ring Watch” to smoke out the bachelors. By the way, Clay Martin, we’re giving you a head start! Some lucky gal’s gonna lasso you sooner or later!

Isn’t Daisy Parker doing a swell job serving you all? Why, it seems only months ago we had a time of it understanding her Texas twang, and now she’s like family. Last thing, Daisy, we’d like to recommend Rosie’s hair salon near the edge of town. They do a great dye job on some of the local ladies, so you don’t have to worry so much about your roots.

I won’t name names, but the rascally daughter of Ford Carson was found in someone’s back seat the other night. An LSCC gardener was watering the rosebushes when he heard some giggling in the north parking lot. He’s been sworn to secrecy about the identity of the lady in question, but c’mon, we all know who it was….

As always, members, make your best stop of the day right here at the Lone Star Country Club!