Читать книгу Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves! - Пелам Гренвилл Вудхаус, Pelham Grenville Wodehouse - Страница 6

I nodded affably. I am always debonair.

“Ah, Jeeves.”

“Good afternoon, sir.”

Pauline appeared interested.

“Is this Jeeves?”

“This is Jeeves.”

“So you don’t like Mr Wooster’s banjolele?”

“No, miss.”

I preferred that this delicate matter be not discussed.

“Well, Jeeves? What is it?”

“Mr Stoker, sir. He is inquiring after Miss Stoker’s whereabouts.”

“You’d better go,” said I to Pauline.

“I suppose so. You won’t forget what I said?”

“Never,” I assured her.

She went away, and Jeeves and I were alone together in the great solitude.

“Well, Jeeves.”

“Sir?”

“I mean to say, we meet again.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I hope you’re getting on all right with Chuffy?”

“Everything is most pleasant, sir. I trust your new personal attendant is giving satisfaction?”

“Oh, quite. A wonderful fellow.”

“I am extremely gratified to hear it, sir.”

There was a pause.

“Er, Jeeves,” I said.

“Sir?”

“I should rather like, if you have a moment to spare, to split a word with you.”

“Certainly, sir.”

“I wish to canvass your views regarding old Chuffy.”

“Very good, sir.”

I hesitated no longer.

“You will agree with me that something’s got to be done about the fifth Baron.”

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

“Come, come, Jeeves. You know what I mean as well as I do.”

“Am I correct in supposing, sir, that you are alluding to his lordship’s feelings towards Miss Stoker?”

“Exactly.”

“I am, of course, aware that his lordship is experiencing for the young lady a sentiment deeper and warmer than that of ordinary friendship, sir.”

“Very well, then. Now, mark this. She, too, loves, Jeeves.”

“Indeed, sir?”

“She was telling me so when you came along. And she’s very upset, poor girl. Extremely upset. Her feminine intuition has enabled her to read his secret. She detects the lovelight in his eyes. And what is worrying her is that he does not tell his love. So, he loves her. She loves him. So what’s more? I know Chuffy. A swift performer. Yet now look at him. Why?”

“His lordship is a gentleman, sir, and he feels that he has not the right to propose marriage to a young lady as wealthy as Miss Stoker.”

“But, dash it, she isn’t very rich.”

“No, sir. Mr Stoker’s fortune amounts to as much as fifty million dollars.”

“What! You’re talking through your hat, Jeeves.”

“No, sir. I understand that that was the sum which he inherited recently under the will of the late Mr George Stoker.”

I was stunned.

“Good Lord, Jeeves! Has Second Cousin George kicked the bucket[52]?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And left all his money to old Stoker?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now I see. Now I understand. This explains everything. That yacht in the harbour is his, of course?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, well, well! But, dash it, George must have had nearer relations.”

“Yes, sir. I understand that he disliked them all.”

“You know about him, then?”

“Yes, sir. I saw his personal attendant when we were in New York. A man named Benstead[53].”

“He was crazy, wasn’t he?”

“Certainly extremely eccentric, sir.”

“Any chance of one of those other relations contesting the will?”

“I do not imagine so, sir. But in such a case Mr Stoker would rely on Sir Roderick Glossop, of course, to testify that the late Mr Stoker was perfectly sane.”

“Hm. And unless old Stoker buys the Hall, Chuffy will continue to be the man without a bean. And yet, why, Jeeves? Why all this fuss about money? After all, plenty of poor guys have married rich girls before now.”

“Yes, sir. But his lordship is a gentleman of peculiar views on this particular matter.”

Yes, it was quite true. Chuffy is a fellow who has always been odd on the subject of money.

“It’s difficult,” I said. “One fails for the moment to see the way out. And yet you may be wrong, Jeeves. After all, you’re only guessing.”

“No, sir. His lordship did me the honour to confide in me.”

“Really? And how?”

“Mr Stoker had expressed a wish that I should enter his employment. He approached me in the matter. I informed his lordship. His lordship instructed me to wait.”

“You can’t mean that he wants you to leave him and go to old Stoker?”

“No, sir. He was anxious that I should not break off the negotiations with a definite refusal until the sale of Chuffnell Hall had gone through.”

“I see. He wanted you to keep old Stoker sweetened till he had signed the fatal papers?”

“Precisely, sir. And the financial status of his lordship is sufficiently good, his self-respect will not permit him to propose marriage to the young lady.”

“Silly ass!”

“I confess that I regard his lordship’s attitude as somewhat hyper-quixotic[54]“.

“We must talk him out of it.”

“Impossible, sir, I fear. I endeavoured to do so myself, but my arguments were of no avail. His lordship has a complex.”

“A what?”

“A complex, sir. He once witnessed a musical comedy, in which poor Lord Wotwotleigh[55] was endeavouring to marry an American heiress. He stated to me in the most unequivocal terms that he refused to place himself in a position like that.”

“But suppose the sale of the house does not go through?”

“In that case, I fear, sir—”

“What would you advise, Jeeves?”

“I fear I have nothing to suggest at the moment, sir.”

“Come, come, Jeeves.”

“No, sir. As long as the image of Lord Wotwotleigh persists in his lordship’s consciousness, I fear that there is nothing to be done.”

“Of course there is. Why this strange weakness, Jeeves? It is not like you. What he needs is a jolt. If he thought there was danger of some other guy near her.”

“Jealousy is undoubtedly an extremely powerful motivating force, sir.”

“Do you know what I am going to do, Jeeves?”

“No, sir.”

“I am going to kiss Miss Stoker and Chuffy will see it.”

“Really, sir, I should not recommend—”

“Jeeves, it came to me in a flash, as we were talking. After lunch, I shall draw Miss Stoker aside to this seat. You will arrange that Chuffy follows her. Then I shall fold her in a close embrace. If that doesn’t work, nothing will.”

“I consider that you would be taking a decided risk, sir.”

“No, Jeeves, I desire no further discussion. The thing is settled[56]. All that remains is to fix the time. I suppose lunch would be over by about two-thirty … Incidentally, I’m not going in to lunch myself.”

“No, sir?”

“No. I cannot face that gang. I shall remain out here. Bring me some sandwiches and some beer.”

“Very good, sir.”

“Put plenty of mustard on the sandwiches.”

“Very good, sir.”

“And at two-thirty inform Miss Stoker that I would like a word with her. And at two-thirty-one inform Lord Chuffnell that she would like a word with him. The rest you can leave to me.”

“Very good, sir.”