Читать книгу Starting Over - Пенни Джордан, PENNY JORDAN - Страница 11

‘BUT I CAN’T stay in hospital, I’ve got a family, three children, a husband and my father-in-law….’

Maddy’s shocked outburst broke the silence of the small consulting room.

‘I’m afraid there is no other option—not at this stage,’ the obstetrician told her gently. ‘Your blood pressure is high and there is protein already showing in the tests we’ve done.’

He and the nurse exchanged glances.

‘It’s a pity you weren’t able to make your last appointment. Had we discovered what was happening then …’

Maddy bit her lip. She could hardly take in what she had been told. Of course she had been aware that she was putting on more weight with this pregnancy than she had with her others and that she was suffering badly with swollen ankles and legs, but this … the appalling news the doctor had just given her that she was exhibiting all the classic early signs of pre-eclampsia and that for her own and the baby’s sake she would have to stay in hospital whilst they brought her blood pressure back down to normal had shocked her rigid.

‘Why don’t you ring your husband?’ the nurse suggested gently.

Max was in the middle of a conference meeting with a client’s solicitor when Maddy’s call came through.

As she tried to tell him what had happened he could hear in her voice her fear and distress. He felt as though a knife were being turned in his heart. Maddy was ill … his Maddy, and she was frightened as well.

‘I’m sorry,’ he told the solicitor swiftly. ‘But I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave. My wife isn’t well.’

The solicitor, a sophisticatedly elegant thirty-something with a high-profile reputation and a prestigious client list, thinned her carefully made up mouth. She had travelled up especially from London for this meeting and she was not accustomed to dealing with Counsel who put their wives before their clients.

At the back of her mind was something a little more than professional irritation. Max was stunningly attractive and even more stunningly male. She was certainly not the sort to indulge in seedy one-night stands with good-looking business associates but the thought of suggesting to Max that they share dinner together after their meeting had crossed her mind. As had her mentally wondering if she possibly had the time to pay a visit to that very chic designer store she had just happened to notice as she walked through Chester this morning before her appointment with Max. Now, though, she wouldn’t need to pick up something alluring to wear this evening.

It took Max twenty minutes to reach the hospital. He found Maddy sitting anxiously on her bed in a small private room off the main ward.

As he crossed the room and took her in his arms she burst into tears.

‘What is it? What’s happened? What’s wrong?’ Max asked her anxiously as he smoothed her hair back off her face and cupped it, his gaze searching hers as his heart hammered against his ribs.

She was so precious to him, so very much beloved, the bedrock on which his life was now built.

Whilst Maddy tried haltingly to explain the situation Max tried and failed to comprehend how he could possibly endure his own life if he were to lose her. All the sins of his own past came back to him; this was his deepest and most secret dread; this fear that somehow the same fate which had given him so much, forgiven him so much, should choose with savage and inescapable malignancy to punish not him but those he loved most; and of all those that he did love, Maddy was his most beloved.

In his more logical moments he knew his fears were unfounded and illogical, but the same change of heart which had shown him the error of his old ways and opened the locked door in his heart to show him the true meaning of love, had also opened that same door to show him fear; fear, not for himself but for those he loved.

He could hear Maddy telling him something.

Above the fierce pounding of his own heartbeat he could hear Maddy’s voice. Determinedly he focused on it and on what she was saying.

The obstetrician had told her that she was suffering from pre-eclampsia, a condition which could, if left untreated, threaten the life of both her and her baby. In order for them to treat it she would have to stay in hospital where her progress could be monitored and she would not be allowed to return home until they were satisfied that she was well enough to do so.

A nurse appeared in the room giving Max a frowning look as she reminded Maddy that she must try to keep calm.

‘Can I see Mr Lewis?’ Max asked her.

She pursed her lips.

‘He’s with another patient at the moment and I don’t know how long he will be.’

‘I’ll wait,’ Max told her in a tone of voice that said he wasn’t going anywhere until he had spoken to the consultant.

‘Oh, Max, I’m so afraid,’ Maddy confessed. ‘And I feel so guilty. If I hadn’t missed my last antenatal appointment they would have found out then what was happening but Ben wasn’t well and—’

His grandfather! Max closed his eyes and willed himself not to over-react.

‘You’re going to be fine,’ he tried to reassure Maddy as he held her tightly, ‘Both you and the baby.’

Ten minutes later, having told her that she wasn’t to worry about anything and having promised that, yes, he would get in touch with Jenny and, yes, he would pick the children up from school and bring a bag of things into the hospital for her, Max kissed his wife and followed the nurse who had come to tell him that the consultant was ready to see him.

‘… and there’s nothing you can do?’

‘In the sense of making the condition completely disappear, no,’ the man agreed. ‘But in the sense of getting it under control, yes. Our first priority is to bring your wife’s blood pressure down and for that we need to keep her here in hospital. Once we are satisfied that it is safely under control then she will be allowed to return home but only on the understanding that she does not overdo things.’

‘And if you can’t bring her blood pressure down?’ Max pressed.

The consultant stood up and walked over to the tiny window of his office, keeping his back towards Max as he said quietly, ‘That shouldn’t happen….’

‘But if it does?’ Max persisted.

There was a long pause before the consultant replied.

‘If the condition runs its course unchecked in the final three months of pregnancy it can lead to the mother suffering from fits and to the deterioration of the placenta which obviously affects the baby. Ultimately—” he paused and looked at Max “—when this happens the mother can suffer from convulsions which in a worst-case scenario causes brain damage for mother and child and potentially death.’

Max stared at him in white-faced disbelief, and sensing his feelings the other man assured him, ‘These days the risk of that happening is minimal. As I’ve explained, now that we’ve detected the problem we should be able to bring your wife’s blood pressure back to normal and keep it there.’

‘You say should,’ Max interrupted him grimly. ‘What if you can’t?’ he demanded, his heart hammering against his ribs.

There was a long pause before the doctor told him carefully, ‘If we were to consider that there was any threat to your wife’s life then we should need to discuss with her terminating her pregnancy.’

‘Have you told Maddy any of this?’ Max asked him grimly.

The consultant shook his head.

‘At this stage I do not believe it is either necessary or constructive to add to your wife’s anxiety. And I must reiterate to you that we are talking about a worst-case scenario.’

‘There is no way I would ever countenance anything that would put Maddy’s life at risk,’ Max started to tell him. ‘Even if that meant that … the baby … that a termination …’

The consultant looked at him with sympathy. ‘We’ll advise you and your wife of the best course of action as her pregnancy progresses.’

Max closed his eyes in mute despair. He knew full well just how Maddy would react. She was the kind of person who would always put the needs of others before her own, all the more so when that other was their unborn child.

Behind his closed eyelids Max cursed himself for the fact that she was pregnant. They already had a family, three children. He found himself wishing passionately that the coming baby had never been conceived, hating it almost for the danger it represented to Maddy, and hating himself even more for what he was feeling. Surely the best thing that could happen now for all their sakes would be for this pregnancy to end.

Couldn’t nature step in on Maddy’s behalf and remove from her the danger to her life?

Guilt burned like bitter gall in Max’s throat and belly as he acknowledged the grim horror of what he was thinking. The death of his own child before it had even known life.

‘Surely if Maddy’s life was at risk you could just act,’ he began, but the consultant was shaking his head.

‘We would strongly recommend a termination if your wife’s life were in jeopardy, but we would need to consult with her first,’ he told Max sternly.

He felt sorry for Max, but the needs of his patient were his prime concern. His patients, in this case—both Maddy and her unborn child. And there was another problem that he still had to raise with Max.

A little brusquely he did so. ‘Your wife is eighteen weeks pregnant,’ the consultant reminded Max steepling his fingertips together. ‘Twenty weeks is the latest time I personally would want to perform a termination. After that …’

After that, what?’ Max could hear the raw fear in his own voice, taste it in his mouth. ‘That only leaves two weeks to bring Maddy’s blood pressure down.’

‘I’m aware of that,’ the obstetrician conceded quietly. ‘It is unfortunate that your wife missed her earlier antenatal appointments. Had she not done so we could have picked up the problems that much earlier.’ He glanced away from Max before looking back at him to tell him bluntly, ‘I do understand how you must be feeling, but I’ve had prem babies under my care who have survived birth at twenty-three weeks. To abort—’ He stopped compassionately as he saw the emotion Max was struggling to keep under control.

‘Maddy will never agree to sacrifice her baby,’ Max told him. ‘She’d sacrifice herself first.’ When the consultant said nothing, Max protested furiously, ‘For God’s sake, in all humanity you can’t expect … I should be the one to make the decision, to take responsibility. She’s my wife. We already have three children.’

Max could feel the burn of his own emotions stinging the backs of his eyes. Was this then fate’s punishment for him? That in celebrating their love, in his reaffirmation of his vows to love her, he had quite literally sowed the seed of Maddy’s death?

‘We’re talking about a situation that may never occur,’ the consultant reminded Max firmly. ‘If your wife responds well and quickly to treatment, then all will be well. It is, of course, essential at the moment that she is not subjected to any kind of … upset or … pressure.’ He gave Max a long look. ‘I hope I make myself clear.’

Max made a terse nod of his head. He knew that the obstetrician was warning him not to discuss the situation with Maddy or allow her to see his own distress. ‘I understand,’ he confirmed. ‘I have to go home now … to collect our children from school, but I’d like your permission to bring them in to see her.’

He paused and waited.

‘Yes, I can agree to that,’ the doctor told him.

‘… and for me to be able to stay the night here with her,’ Max continued swiftly.

With a small sigh the consultant nodded his head.

‘But I must warn you, any sign that your wife is being upset or distressed in any way by either the presence of her children or her husband and I shall have to ask you to leave.’

Grimly Max inclined his head.

Jenny’s mobile rang just as she was about to leave the supermarket and drive to Olivia’s. When she answered it she heard Max’s voice.

‘Mum …’

‘Max.’ She could detect the tension in his one word.

‘I’m at the hospital.’

‘The hospital?’ Jenny gripped the mobile. ‘What’s wrong … Ben?’

‘No, it isn’t Ben, it’s Maddy,’ Max told her tersely. ‘She’s suffering from pre-eclampsia. I don’t know what’s going to happen yet,’ he continued, overriding Jenny’s anxious questions, ‘but they’re keeping her in. That’s one of the reasons why I’m ringing you. Could you go over to Queensmead and check up on Ben and—Mum—we’re going to need your help not just with Ben but with the kids as well.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Jenny reassured him. ‘You know I’ll do whatever you need me to do.’

‘I’m on my way to collect them from school now. I’m taking them straight to the hospital to see Maddy, but if you could come and take them home, I’m going to stay overnight at the General with her but the kids need …’

‘Of course,’ Jenny agreed immediately. ‘I’ll drive over to Queensmead now and check on Ben.’

She could hear the relief in Max’s voice as he thanked her. When she started the car her hands were shaking. They all took Maddy so much for granted, her sunny nature, her calm gentleness, her ability to find room in her generous heart for even someone as irascible and difficult as Ben.

Virtually singlehandedly she had turned Queensmead from a cold unwelcoming barn of a house that no one had ever liked to visit into a warm welcoming haven which increasingly had become the hub of Crighton family life. The work she did for the Mums and Babes charity was of incalculable value. She had surprised everyone, including herself, not just with her administrative talents but even more so with her flair for fund raising. No matter how busy she was she still always found time for those who asked for it.

Max adored her and if anything were to happen to her … Jenny knew how potentially serious her condition was—how dangerous.

Her hands tightened on the steering wheel of the car. The first thing she did when she reached Queensmead was ring Jon but all she could reach was his message service. Her mouth compressing, Jenny dropped the phone into her handbag without bothering to leave any message.

Ben was asleep in his arm chair when she walked into the library. Gently she woke him up.

‘Where’s Maddy?’ he demanded irritably. ‘I’m hungry. Gone off gadding somewhere with Max, I suppose. She’s supposed to be here looking after me. Acting like this house is their own. Huh … we shall see about that….’

Squashing her irritation, Jenny explained what had happened. The whole family made allowances for the often irascible Ben who had never reconciled himself to the death of his twin brother. But, increasingly, he was making challenging and hurtful comments about both Maddy and Max and about their future tenure of the house.

Jenny knew that Max felt concerned enough to have bought a large piece of land on the other side of town on which he hoped he would be able to build a new house for himself, Maddy and the children if Ben ever did carry out his threat to disinherit him.

‘David has promised that if Dad should leave Queensmead to him he will immediately hand it over to you,’ Jon had tried to reassure Max.

When Jenny reached the hospital, Max and the children were in the waiting room. Max hurried towards her and she could tell from his expression just how anxious he was about Maddy.

‘Can I see her?’ she asked him once she had hugged and kissed the children.

Shaking his head Max told her, ‘She’s asleep at the moment. This is all my fault,’ he added emotionally. The bleakness in his eyes tore at Jenny’s heart. Silently she hugged him, trying to offer him some comfort but inwardly she was as frightened for Maddy as she could see he was.

‘They can do so much these days,’ she tried to reassure him.

‘I should have guessed—seen—I know she hasn’t been feeling well.’ His voice was torn with pain. ‘Where’s Dad?’ he asked abruptly. ‘I thought he would come with you.’

‘He’s up at Fitzburgh Place. Apparently David rang him whilst he was playing golf to tell him that Lord Astlegh wanted to see him.’

She gave Max a forced smile. With all that he had to worry about the last thing she wanted to do was to have him guess how she was feeling.

‘I’ll take the children home with me now and don’t worry about having to get home tonight, Max. I’ll stay at Queensmead with them and make sure they get to school in the morning.’

From the small room at home she used as an office Olivia could see Amelia and Alex playing in the garden. At the moment they seemed happy to accept that Caspar had stayed behind in America whilst they had come home but soon she knew they would start to miss their father and ask questions. They would be upset she knew. They both adored Caspar. But surely they were better off living with her in a loving happy atmosphere than enduring the kind of misery she had known as a child knowing that her parents were not happy together. Her agitation increased, her heart starting to pound with a now familiar sickening speed and intensity. She hated the fear she felt threatening to flood over her, hated the sense of loss of self-control it brought.

Pushing her hands into her hair she tried to massage the tight band of pain out of her skull. She had just spent the last hour reading through the work notes she had made before leaving for America but instead of calming her, easing her anxiety, they had only served to increase it.

She thought of Jenny and looked anxiously towards her silent telephone. Her aunt hadn’t even rung to welcome her home. But then why should she? Olivia was only a niece to her. Jenny had sons and daughters of her own who were far more important to her than Olivia ever could be and Jenny had grandchildren, too…. Far more loved by her than Olivia’s children could be. Fiercely Olivia swallowed against the tight ball of angry pain stuck in her throat.

Tania, her own mother, had never even seen her grandchildren.

‘Darling, I’d love to see the new baby,’ she had announced over the telephone after Amelia had been born, ‘But there’s just no way I could ever come back to Haslewich….’ Olivia had been able to visualise the shudder which would have run through her mother’s fragile body as she listened to her. ‘And even if I could, I know that my darling Tom would never allow me to do so. He can’t believe how cruel your father was to me. And I’m afraid we couldn’t invite you to come down here. We just don’t have the room….’

And of course her mother didn’t want to make room. Olivia had known that, but to offset that pain there had been Jenny. Jenny ready to open her arms to Olivia and her new baby and to become the loving wise surrogate grandmother Olivia had ached for them to have.

But then, one after the other, Jenny’s own children had married and produced grandchildren for her, and Olivia had started to distance herself from Jenny a little, out of a fierce maternal desire to protect her own daughters from being hurt as she had been.

Everywhere she turned it seemed to Olivia that she was not as valued as other people were. Neither of her own parents had truly loved her—she knew that—and as for Ben, her grandfather, he had made his preference for Max as plain as his contempt for her.

At work she had tried to prove that she could work as hard, do as much, as any man. Even Caspar, who she had thought loved her, had chosen his family over her.

Outside the sun was shining brightly but all Olivia could see was the bleak future that stretched ahead of her.

Jon frowned as he let himself into the unlit empty house. Where was Jenny? He knew she had planned to visit Olivia but he had expected her to be back at home. No familiar Sunday dinner smells were wafting appetisingly from the large family kitchen, empty now like the rest of the house of the busy noisiness of their growing children and their friends. Ruefully he remembered how often once they were teenagers, he had looked forward to quieter times. Times when he and Jenny would be able to have moments to themselves. Now that they had … He frowned. If the early years of their marriage had been difficult, these latter few years had more than compensated for that with the happiness and love they had brought him. The discovery that Jenny, who he had married believing she could never love him, had in fact done so right from the start, had brought a sensual late blooming to their relationship which he had quite frankly relished.

Now, though, Jenny seemed not to want him sexually any more. He appreciated that life had become increasingly busy for her. She might have sold her half share in her antique shop to her partner Guy Cooke, but she now played an increasingly demanding role in the Mums and Babes charity his aunt Ruth had established as well as being very involved with their local community and the lives of their children and grandchildren.

Still frowning he dialled the number of her mobile phone. It was out of character for her to go out without leaving any indication of where she was or when she would be back.

‘Jenny?’

Answering her mobile, Jenny quickly scanned Queensmead’s kitchen table, making sure that her grandchildren were eating the meal she had prepared for them.

‘Where are you?’ she heard Jon demanding.

‘I’m at Queensmead,’ she told him.

‘Oh … When will you be back?’

Quickly she explained to him what had happened, adding, ‘I shall have to stay here until Maddy is well enough to come home, and even then …’

She could tell from the sound of his voice how shocked he was by the news she had given him.

‘I’ll come over,’ he was telling her, adding, ‘Why on earth didn’t you ring me straight away?’

‘I tried to,’ Jenny informed him crisply, ‘but you didn’t pick up. I dare say the business David had arranged for you to discuss with Lord Astlegh was too important to be interrupted.’

As he heard the sharp note in her voice Jon sighed. He hated there being any kind of disharmony between them and it hurt him that Jenny, whom he loved so very much, could not be as pleased by David’s return as he was himself.

‘Yes, I’m sorry, I did switch it off,’ he acknowledged. ‘Freddy loathes them according to David.’

Jenny tensed. Here it was, even now, with Maddy so poorly, Jon was still thinking about putting David first …

‘I’ve got to go,’ she fibbed, quickly ending the call before Jon could object.

‘Mummy, this isn’t the way to school,’ Amelia protested.

‘No darling, I know it isn’t,’ Olivia agreed as she checked the traffic. ‘I want to call and see Auntie Jenny before I take you to school.’ She wanted to see Jenny to ask if she would pick up the girls from school for her and to see if it was possible for her to have them until she, Olivia, got home from work. Ultimately she was going to have to make proper child-care arrangements but that would take time and until then she would desperately need Jenny’s help.

Frantically she tried to run through everything she had to do. The school would have to be told that Jenny would be picking the girls up, of course. It ran an after-school crèche which she could book them into if necessary and until she had sorted out a reliable nanny perhaps Jon would agree to her doing her paper work from home.

It would mean rearranging her appointments. Some of her clients weren’t always free to see her until after they themselves had finished work which was one of the reasons she was home so late so many evenings.

Jon would have to be told about her and Caspar’s separation, if he didn’t already know about it, which Olivia suspected he must. She could well imagine how it would be received by certain members of the family. No doubt Ben would once again compare her with Max—to her detriment! Max, of course, had the perfect marriage, just as he had the perfect everything else.

‘Mummy,’ Amelia cried out in alarm and just in time Olivia saw the cyclist she had previously been oblivious to, swerving out to avoid him.

‘Wait in the car for me,’ she instructed the girls when she pulled up on the forecourt to Jon and Jenny’s home.

Running as quickly as she could over the gravel, which wasn’t an easy feat in her office court shoes and straight-skirted business suit, she pushed open the kitchen door calling out, ‘Jenny, it’s me, Olivia.’

‘Livvy!’

Olivia frowned as she saw not Jenny come hurrying into the kitchen but Jon.

‘I—I’m just on my way to work,’ Olivia told him defensively, ‘I wanted to see Jenny to ask if she could pick the girls up for me this afternoon.’

‘Oh dear, I’m afraid she’s at Queensmead,’ Jon told her.

Queensmead. Olivia’s heart sank. It would take her a good ten minutes to drive to the other house. But she had to see Jenny. Without giving Jon time to say any more she hurried back to her car.

Jon grimaced as Olivia left. He’d had no chance to explain to her what had happened. He was already late for a very early client meeting. He had missed Jenny’s familiar presence in their bed last night and hadn’t slept well.

Angrily Olivia stabbed her foot on the car’s accelerator. She was going to be late for the office, a fact which Jon would have already noted. That was a great start to her new life as a single parent she reflected bitterly.

Her awareness of her own exposure, her vulnerability, increased her defensive anger. By the time she had negotiated the fast-building traffic and was turning into Queensmead’s drive she had worked herself up into a state of furious anxiety.

Stopping her car she got out and hurried towards Queensmead’s back door and opened it.

In Maddy’s kitchen Jenny was trying to answer her grandchildren’s increasingly anxious questions about their mother’s absence.

‘Livvy,’ she exclaimed guiltily as Olivia walked in, her heart sinking as she realised that in her panic over Maddy she had not found time to get in touch with her niece.

To Livvy’s eyes the orderly scene in Maddy’s kitchen where Maddy’s children were being given their breakfast by their doting grandmother was one that made her sharply aware of the difference in these children’s circumstances and her own.

‘I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch,’ Jenny began to apologise, ‘But as you can see—’ She stopped as they both heard Maddy’s youngest child crying for her grandmother from upstairs.

Olivia could practically feel Jenny’s desire for her to leave. Distraught, with no one to turn to and overwhelmed by a fierce surge of protective maternal love for her own children, Olivia lost her temper and interrupted Jenny angrily.

‘Yes I can see that you’re very busy Aunt Jenny … far too busy obviously to have time for me!’

The strength of her feelings was making her shake.

‘I’m sorry to have bothered you. Of course, I should have realised that you’ve got far more important things to do than help me…. Without giving Jenny the chance to say anything to her Olivia stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the kitchen door behind her as she left.

Helplessly Jenny watched her, torn between going after her and responding to the increasingly voluble cries from upstairs. But Olivia was already opening her car door and getting in.

As she started her car Olivia was shaking with anger and distress. She had been relying on Jenny, not just for practical help but as someone she could unburden herself to … someone she could confide in, but Jenny didn’t have time to listen to her…. Her feelings were threatening to overwhelm her but she had to get the girls to school and then she had to go to work. What had she expected Jenny to do, anyway—throw her arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be all right?

A tear trickled down her face. Bitterly she brushed it away. Nothing had ever been all right in her life and nothing was ever going to be!

At the school, whilst the girls went up to join their friends, she went in search of the head teacher to ask if she could enrol them both for the after-school crèche.

It was almost nine o’clock and normally she was at her desk far earlier. The now all too familiar sensation of her own anxiety tensed the whole of her body.

‘Livvy, my dear …’

Jon frowned as Livvy turned away from him as she said curtly, ‘I’m sorry I’m so late. I had to drop the girls off at school.’

‘Good heavens, Livvy, I was expecting you wouldn’t come in at all today…. We’ve heard about Caspar … I’m so sorry.’

‘Why?’ she questioned sharply. ‘The marriage wasn’t working … it’s a mutual decision.’

Jon’s frown deepened. She looked far too thin, her face pinched and pale but it was her attitude that was giving him the most cause for concern. He had expected her to be upset. He knew how hard she strived for perfection in every aspect of her life, how sensitive she was; but this edginess, this angry aggression almost was so unlike what he knew of her and it disturbed him.

When Olivia walked into the office several minutes later the phone had already started to ring. Quickly she answered it. One of her clients was on the other end of the line wanting to make an urgent appointment. Tensely she reached for her diary.

Shaking his head Jon made his way to his own office. Normally the first thing he would have done right now would have been to ring Jenny so that he could discuss what had happened and the best way to help Livvy, but of course Jenny was at Queensmead and he didn’t want to add to her problems.

The look of haunted bitterness in Olivia’s eyes had shocked him, though. It was almost as though she thought he was her enemy. He was imagining it, he told himself firmly. Naturally she was not herself. How could she be? Her marriage had broken up compounding the distress she had already suffered with David’s return.

It was such a pity that she was so antagonistic towards her father. Jon could understand her point of view, of course, but things were different now. David was different and Jon knew how much he longed to make reparation to her. But he still could not shake off the feeling that Livvy had erected a barrier between them.

His phone rang just as his secretary brought in his post and morning coffee. ‘David!’ he exclaimed with genuine pleasure as he heard his twin’s voice on the other end of the line.

‘We’ve just heard about Maddy,’ David told him. Then he asked gravely, ‘How is she?’

‘We don’t know—as yet—but they’re going to keep her in for the time being. Jenny’s staying at Queensmead to look after the children and Ben.’

‘Well, that answers my next question. Honor wanted to know if there was anything she could do to help.’

‘Well perhaps a magic potion to keep Dad quiet might be a good idea,’ Jon suggested wryly.

There was a brief pause before David asked hesitantly, ‘And Livvy … she’s … she’s all right?’ David questioned him. Jon’s heart sank. He knew he couldn’t lie to him.

‘She’s … she’s going through a very difficult time and obviously it’s bound to be affecting her,’ was all he felt he could say.

It was lunch time before Jon saw Livvy again, their paths crossing in the reception area of the practice.

‘Oh, Livvy, I forgot to say this morning,’ Jon told her, ‘obviously you’re going to need to spend more time at home at the moment. I’ll have a word with the agency and see if Mark, our locum, can stay on for a few more weeks to give you a bit of breathing space. If you do have to see any clients you could schedule those appointments during school hours which will leave you free to arrive later in the morning and go home midafternoon …’

Olivia stiffened. It didn’t matter that what Jon was suggesting was exactly what she had known she would have to do. She sensed a cautious air about him. Did he doubt her ability to cope? Where had the old closeness between them gone?

‘That won’t be necessary,’ she told him sharply. ‘I’ve already made arrangements for the girls.’

It wasn’t entirely true of course, but with all the professional agencies that were in existence surely it wouldn’t take her too long to find the right person to look after them when she couldn’t be there.

‘The assizes are coming up,’ Jon reminded her gently, ‘and if any of your cases run over you could find yourself having to stay over in Chester….’

‘Chester is hardly the other end of the universe,’ Livvy snapped. Worriedly Jon watched her walk away. He hated seeing her like this, so prickly and defensive. She had been such a loving little girl. Shy and reluctant to put herself forward. That was Ben’s doing, of course, and her parents’. But once she had been coaxed out of her shell she had been a joy and Jenny, he knew, had a special place in her heart for her.

‘Livvy … how are you …?’

From the concern she could hear in Tullah’s voice, Olivia knew immediately that Tullah had heard about her separation from Caspar. Normally she would have been happy to see the other woman, but right now all she could think of was how lucky Tullah was to be married to a man like Saul who loved and supported and valued her. ‘I’m fine,’ Livvy responded dismissively and untruthfully, starting to turn away and then stopping as Tullah asked tentatively, ‘Have you spoken to Jenny today?’

‘Only briefly,’ Livvy responded, once again making to leave the practice’s reception area and head for her own office, but before she could do so Tullah was continuing anxiously, ‘Did she say anything about Maddy … or how long they’re going to keep her in hospital? Max must be going out of his mind….’ ‘Maddy’s in hospital?’ Olivia couldn’t keep the shock out of her voice, the work waiting for her on her desk forgotten.

‘Yes, she is. Didn’t you know?’ Tullah looked confused. ‘Oh, well, when she went to hospital for her normal check-up they told her that she would have to stay in because she’s suffering from pre-eclampsia,’ she started to explain. ‘Saul had to ring Max about something, that’s how we know. I tried to ring Jenny earlier but I couldn’t get through and I thought …’

Olivia wasn’t concentrating fully on what Tullah was saying. In her confusion, she was too busy dealing with the sickening sense of disbelief and guilt that was filling her. Jenny had been looking after her grandchildren because Maddy was in hospital seriously ill—and she had said … The burning sensation, a combination of guilt, shock and anxiety which had stormed her face before spreading to the backs of her eyes now ached emotionally in her throat, shocking her out of the black misery of her own despair.

‘I—I didn’t know,’ she acknowledged shakily. ‘What has the hospital said? How long …’

‘I don’t know any of the details,’ Tullah interrupted her as they shared eloquent looks, both of them united as women and as mothers in their shared feelings for Maddy herself as an individual, a friend and a relative whom they both loved.

‘I tried to catch Jon earlier before he left,’ Tullah confided, ‘But I missed him and I knew you would have seen Jenny….’ Her voice tailed away.

‘It was just a quick call … this morning … on my way here,’ Olivia responded uncomfortably.

She looked so shocked and anguished that Tullah felt guilty for having raised the subject.

During the afternoon when Olivia should have been concentrating on her work she was desperately wondering what she should do—what she could do to put things right. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to go straight round to Queensmead and throw herself on Jenny’s mercy, to beg her for her forgiveness, her understanding. But what if Jenny refused to listen to her? What if she was so disgusted, so appalled by Olivia’s selfish behaviour that she refused to accept her apology and explanation and refused to have anything further to do with her? She would be perfectly within her rights to do so; Livvy knew that she had been unpardonably selfish and rude. Olivia’s face went grey-white with guilt as she recalled her own sharply accusing bitter words.

And what about Maddy? How must she be feeling? Olivia looked at the telephone on her desk.

Before she could change her mind she reached for it. Less than two minutes later she was through to the hospital.

‘We are unable to put you through to Mrs Madeleine Crighton,’ the anonymous voice on the other end of the line announced, enquiring politely, ‘Are you a close relative?’

‘No … not really,’ Olivia responded. ‘I’m her cousin by marriage … Is she …’ As her anxiety started to overwhelm her, her voice began to tremble.

‘She’s resting at the moment,’ she was told calmly. ‘But if you want us to pass a message to her …’

‘Just tell her that I’m thinking of her, please,’ Olivia responded having given her name.

Would it help Maddy to know that she was being thought about or would it only add to her distress and fear?

As she replaced the telephone receiver Olivia ached to be able to talk to Jenny. Taking a deep breath she quickly punched into the keypad Queensmead’s number.

‘Jenny is staying at Queensmead to look after the children,’ Tullah had said.

When only the answering machine responded to her call Olivia put down the receiver in silence.

Bad as her own problems were they were nothing compared to what she knew Maddy and those closest to her must be going through.

Nick sighed as he drove into Haslewich. Much as he appreciated the company and the hospitality of Saul and Tullah he was itching to return to his own life … his own home.

‘No way, little brother.’ Saul had shaken his head when Nick had suggested doing so. ‘I know you, with Mum and Dad away at the moment once you get back to that remote den of yours you’ll be back at work, taking heaven alone knows what kind of risks and if anything should happen there’s no one there….’

‘Okay … okay,’ Nick had given in.

His Welsh farmhouse was remote, two miles down a narrow track with no neighbours nearby. Saul was right, within days if not hours of returning he would be back at work.

He had been approached to take a potentially fascinating case just before his accident. A young woman was threatening to sue her family for snatching her away from the cult with which she had become involved. Nick had been approached by a friend of the family for his advice.

But it wasn’t his work that was on his mind right now. It was Sara!

He was fully aware that his behaviour in the restaurant and more specifically in the restaurant office had been far from exemplary or gentlemanly. It didn’t matter that he had been provoked. He still should not have allowed things, matters, to get so out of hand. An apology was quite plainly in order, or so he had reasoned.

It was early afternoon and Frances was just seeing the last lunch-time diner off the premises when he walked in. ‘I wonder if I could have a word with Sara?’ Nick asked once they had exchanged greetings.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, she isn’t here at the moment,’ Frances told him. ‘She’s taking a late lunch hour. I insisted that she ought to get out and enjoy this unseasonal sunshine we’re having whilst she could. Do you want me to pass on a message?’

Shaking his head Nick left the restaurant. It was true that the weather was mild, sunny and warm. From where he stood he could see the bright light glinting on the river. He paused to study it. Nick had always loved water. His farmhouse was on a hill overlooking the sea off the Pembrokeshire coast.

He didn’t own a boat himself but he sometimes crewed for a friend who did. Automatically he started to head for the river.

Sara paused to laugh at the antics of some ducks as they dived into the water for unseen food. Further downstream she had seen some swans, their stately elegant progress so at odds with the frantic paddling that must be going on beneath their gently floating bodies. Like galleons in full sail they seemed to glide effortlessly over the water. Hers was the only human presence here on the river path and Frances had urged her not to rush back.

‘I can’t believe how much work you’ve done already. You really are a marvel … I’m so grateful to you,’ she had praised Sara. Sara reflected on the telephone call she had taken earlier from the frantically apologetic employment agency explaining they had been let down by the girl they had intended to send to the restaurant. It didn’t matter now Sara had told them—the job had been filled. Why had she decided to stay on? She liked Frances yes, but … Unbidden a mental picture of Nick Crighton came into her head. She was not staying because of him! She loathed him. He was arrogant, humourless, contemptible—and worse! Angrily she sucked in her breath.