Читать книгу The Demon Cycle Series Books 1 and 2 - Peter V. Brett - Страница 20

Leesha woke with a start as Bruna’s old rooster crowed to mark the dawn. She rubbed her face, feeling the imprint of the book on her cheek. Gared and Bruna were still fast asleep. The Herb Gatherer had passed out early, but despite her own fatigue, Leesha kept on reading late into the night. She had thought Herb Gathering was just setting bones and birthing babes, but there was so much more. Herb Gatherers studied the entire natural world, finding ways to combine the Creator’s many gifts for the benefit of His children.

Leesha took the ribbon that held back her dark hair and laid it across the page, closing the book as reverently as she did the Canon. She rose and stretched, laying fresh wood on the fire and stirring the embers into a flame. She put the kettle on, and then went over to shake Gared.

‘Wake up, lazybones,’ she said, keeping her voice low. Gared only groaned. Whatever Bruna had given him, it was strong. She shook harder, and he swatted at her, eyes still closed.

‘Get up or there’ll be no breakfast for you,’ Leesha laughed, kicking him.

Gared groaned again, and his eyes cracked. When Leesha drew her foot back a second time, he reached out and grabbed her leg, pulling her down on top of him with a yelp.

He rolled on top of her, encircling her in his burly arms, and Leesha giggled at his kisses.

‘Stop it,’ she said, swatting at him half-heartedly, ‘you’ll wake Bruna.’

‘So what if I do?’ Gared asked. ‘The old hag is a hundred years old and blind as a bat.’

‘The hag’s ears are still sharp,’ Bruna said, cracking open one of her milky white eyes.

Gared yelped and practically flew to his feet, distancing himself from Leesha and Bruna both.

‘You keep your hands to yourself in my home, boy, or I’ll brew a potion to keep your manhood slack for a year,’ Bruna said. Leesha saw the colour drain from Gared’s face, and bit her lip to keep from laughing. For some reason, Bruna no longer frightened her, but she loved watching the old woman intimidate everyone else.

‘We understand one another?’ Bruna asked.

‘Yes’m,’ Gared said immediately.

‘Good,’ Bruna said. ‘Now put those burly shoulders to work and split some wood for the firebox.’ Gared was out the door before she finished. Leesha laughed as the door slammed.

‘Liked that, did you?’ Bruna asked.

‘I’ve never seen anyone send Gared scurrying like that,’ Leesha said.

‘Come closer, so I can see you,’ Bruna said. When Leesha did, she went on, ‘Being village healer is more than brewing potions. A strong dose of fear is good for the biggest boy in the village. Maybe help him think twice before hurting someone.’

‘Gared would never hurt anyone,’ Leesha said.

‘As you say,’ Bruna said, but she didn’t sound at all convinced.

‘Could you really have made a potion to take his manhood away?’ Leesha asked.

Bruna cackled. ‘Not for a year,’ she said. ‘Not with one dose, anyway. But a few days, or even a week? As easily as I dosed his tea.’

Leesha looked thoughtful.

‘What is it, girl?’ Bruna asked. ‘Having doubts your boy will leave you unplucked before your wedding?’

‘I was thinking more on Steave,’ Leesha said.

Bruna nodded. ‘And well you should,’ she advised. ‘But have a care. Your mother is wise to the trick. She came to me often when she was young, needing Gatherer’s tricks to stem her flow and keep her from getting with child while she had her fun. I didn’t see her for what she was, then, and I’m sad to say I taught her more than I should have.’

‘Mum wasn’t a virgin when Da carried her across his wards?’ Leesha asked in shock.

Bruna snorted. ‘Half the town had a roll with her before Steave drove the others away.’

Leesha’s jaw dropped. ‘Mum condemned Klarissa when she got with child,’ she said.

Bruna spat on the floor. ‘Everyone turned on that poor girl. Hypocrites, all! Smitt talks of family, but he didn’t lift a finger when his wife led the town after that girl like a pack of flame demons. Half those women pointing at her and crying ‘Sin!’ were guilty of the same deed, they were just lucky enough to marry fast, or smart enough to take precautions.’

‘Precautions?’ Leesha asked.

Bruna shook her head. ‘Elona’s so eager to have a grandson she’s kept you in the dark about everything, eh?’ she asked. ‘Tell me, girl, how are babies made?’

Leesha blushed. ‘The man, I mean, your husband … He …’

‘Out with it, girl,’ Bruna snapped, ‘I’m too old to wait for the red to leave your face.’

‘He spends his seed in you,’ Leesha said, her face reddening further.

Bruna cackled. ‘You can treat burns and demon wounds, but blush at how life is made?’

Leesha opened her mouth to reply, but Bruna cut her off.

‘Make your boy spend his seed on your belly, and you can lie with him to your heart’s content,’ Bruna said. ‘But boys can’t be trusted to pull from you in time, as Klarissa learned. The smarter ones come to me for tea.’

‘Tea?’ Leesha asked, leaning on every word.

‘Pomm leaves, leached in the right dose with some other herbs, create a tea that will keep a man’s seed from taking root.’

‘But Tender Michel says …’ Leesha began.

‘Spare me the recitation from the Canon,’ Bruna cut her off. ‘It’s a book written by men, without a thought given towards the plight of women.’

Leesha’s mouth closed with a click.

‘Your mum visited me often,’ Bruna went on, ‘asking questions, helping me around the hut, grinding herbs for me. I had thought to make her my apprentice, but all she wanted was the secret of the tea. Once I told her how it was made, she left and never returned.’

‘That does sound like her,’ Leesha said.

‘Pomm tea is safe enough in small doses,’ Bruna said, ‘but Steave is lusty, and your mother took too much. The two of them must have slapped stomachs a thousand times before your father’s business began to prosper, and his purse caught her eye. By then, your mum’s womb was scraped dry.’

Leesha looked at her curiously.

‘After she married your father, Elona tried for two years to conceive without success,’ Bruna said. ‘Steave married some young girl and got her with child overnight, which only made your mum more desperate. Finally, she came back to me, begging for help.’

Leesha leaned in close, knowing her existence had hinged on whatever Bruna said next.

‘Pomm tea must be taken in small doses,’ Bruna repeated, ‘and once a month it is best to stop it and allow your flow to come. Fail this, and you risk becoming barren. I warned Elona, but she was a slave to her loins, and failed to listen. For months I gave her herbs and checked her flow, giving her herbs to slip into your father’s food. Finally, she conceived.’

‘Me,’ Leesha said. ‘She conceived me.’

Bruna nodded. ‘I feared for you, girl. Your mum’s womb was weak, and we both knew she would not have another chance. She came to me every day, asking me to check on her son.’

‘Son?’ Leesha asked.

‘I warned her it might not be a boy,’ Bruna said, ‘but Elona was stubborn. “The Creator could not be so cruel”, she’d say, forgetting that the same Creator made the corelings.’

‘So all I am is some cruel joke of the Creator?’ Leesha asked.

Bruna grabbed Leesha’s chin in her bony fingers and pulled her in close. Leesha could see the long grey hairs, like cat’s whiskers, on the crone’s wrinkled lips as she spoke.

‘We are what we choose to be, girl,’ she said. ‘Let others determine your worth, and you’ve already lost, because no one wants people worth more than themselves. Elona has no one to blame but herself for her bad choices, but she’s too vain to admit it. Easier to take it out on you and poor Erny.’

‘I wish she’d been exposed and run out of town,’ Leesha said.

‘You would betray your gender out of spite?’ Bruna asked.

‘I don’t understand,’ Leesha said.

‘There’s no shame in a girl wanting a man twixt her legs, Leesha,’ Bruna said. ‘An Herb Gatherer can’t judge folks for doing what nature intended they do when they are young and free. It’s oath breakers I can’t abide. You say your vows, girl, you’d best plan on keeping them.’

Leesha nodded.

Gared returned, just then. ‘Darsy’s come to see ya back to town,’ he told Bruna.

‘I swear I sacked that dim-witted sow,’ Bruna grumbled.

‘The town council met yesterday and reinstated me,’ Darsy said, pushing into the hut. She was not as tall as Gared, but she was not far off, and easily topped his weight. ‘It’s your own fault. No one else would take the job.’

‘They can’t do that!’ Bruna barked.

‘Oh, yes they can,’ Darsy said. ‘I don’t like it any more than you, but you could pass any day now, and the town needs someone to tend the sick.’

‘I’ve outlived better than you,’ Bruna sneered. ‘I’ll choose who I teach.’

‘Well, I’m to stay until you do,’ Darsy said, looking at Leesha and baring her teeth.

‘Then make yourself useful and put the porridge on,’ Bruna said. ‘Gared’s a growing boy and needs to keep his strength up.’

Darsy scowled, but she rolled her sleeves and headed for the boiling kettle nonetheless.

‘Smitt and I are going to have a little chat when I get to town,’ Bruna grumbled.

‘Is Darsy really so bad?’ Leesha asked.

Bruna’s watery eyes turned Gared’s way. ‘I know you’re stronger than an ox, boy, but I imagine there are still a few cords to split out back.’

Gared didn’t need to be told twice. He was out the door in a blink, and they heard him put the axe back to work.

‘Darsy’s useful enough around the hut,’ Bruna admitted. ‘She splits wood almost as fast as your boy, and makes a fair porridge. But those meaty hands are too clumsy for healing, and she has little aptitude for the Gatherer’s art. She’ll make a passable midwife – any fool can pull a babe from its mother – and at setting bones she’s second to none, but the subtler work is beyond her. I weep at the thought of this town with her as Herb Gatherer.’

‘You won’t make Gared much of a wife if you can’t get a simple dinner together!’ Elona called.

Leesha scowled. So far as she knew, her mother had never prepared a meal in her life. It had been days since she’d had a proper sleep, but Creator forbid her mother lift a hand to help.

She had spent the day tending the sick with Bruna and Darsy. She picked up the skills quickly, causing Bruna to use her as an example to Darsy. Darsy did not care for that.

Leesha knew Bruna wanted to apprentice her. The old woman didn’t push, but she had made her intentions clear. But there was her father’s papermaking business to think of as well. She had worked in the shop, a large connected section of their house, since she was a little girl, penning messages for villagers and making sheets. Erny told her she had a gift for it. Her bindings were prettier than his, and Leesha liked to embed her pages with flower petals, which the ladies in Lakton and Fort Rizon paid more for than their husbands did for plain sheets.

Erny’s hope was to retire while Leesha ran the shop and Gared made the pulp and handled the heavy work. But papermaking had never held much interest for Leesha. She did it mostly to spend time with her father, away from the lash of her mother’s tongue.

Elona might have liked the money it made, but she hated the shop, complaining of the smell of the lye in the pulping vats and the noise of the grinder. The shop was a retreat from her that Leesha and Erny took often, a place of laughter that the house proper would never be.

Steave’s booming laugh made Leesha look up from the vegetables she was chopping for stew. He was in the common room, sitting in her father’s chair, drinking his ale. Elona sat on the chair’s arm, laughing and leaning in, her hand on his shoulder.

Leesha wished she were a flame demon, so she could spit fire on them. She had never been happy trapped in the house with Elona, but now all she could think of was Bruna’s stories. Her mother didn’t love her father and probably never had. She thought her daughter a cruel joke of the Creator. And she hadn’t been a virgin when Erny carried her across the wards.

For some reason, that cut the deepest. Bruna said there was no sin in a woman taking pleasure in a man, but her mother’s hypocrisy stung nonetheless. She had helped force Klarissa out of town to hide her own indiscretion.

‘I won’t be like you,’ Leesha swore. She would have her wedding day as the Creator intended, and become a woman in a proper marriage bed.

Elona squealed at something Steave said, and Leesha began to sing to herself to drown them out. Her voice was rich and pure; Tender Michel was forever asking her to sing at services.

‘Leesha!’ her mother barked a moment later. ‘Quit your warbling! We can hardly hear ourselves think out here!’

‘Doesn’t sound like there’s much thinking going on,’ Leesha muttered.

‘What was that?’ Elona demanded.

‘Nothing!’ Leesha called back in her most innocent voice.

They ate just after sunset, and Leesha watched proudly as Gared used the bread she had made to scrape clean his third bowl of her stew.

‘She’s not much of a cook, Gared,’ Elona apologized, ‘but it’s filling enough if you hold your nose.’

Steave, gulping ale at the time, snorted it out his nose. Gared laughed at his father, and Elona snatched the napkin from Erny’s lap to dry Steave’s face. Leesha looked to her father for support, but he kept his eyes on his bowl. He hadn’t said a word since emerging from the shop.

It was too much for Leesha. She cleared the table and retreated to her room, but there was no sanctuary there. She had forgotten that her mother had given the room to Steave for the duration of his and Gared’s indefinite stay. The giant woodcutter had tracked mud across her spotless floor, leaving his filthy boots on top of her favourite book, where it lay by her bed.

She cried out and ran to the treasure, but the cover was hopelessly muddied. Her bedclothes of soft Rizonan wool were stained with Creator knew what, and stank of a foul blend of musky sweat and the expensive Angierian perfume her mother favoured.

Leesha felt sick. She clutched her precious book tightly and fled to her father’s shop, weeping as she tried futilely to clean the stains from her book. It was there Gared found her.

‘So this is where ya run off to,’ he said, moving to encircle her in his burly arms.

Leesha pulled away, wiping her eyes and trying to compose herself. ‘I just needed a moment,’ she said.

Gared caught her arm. ‘Is this about the joke yur mum made?’ he asked.

Leesha shook her head, trying to turn away again, but Gared held her fast.

‘I was only laughing at my da,’ he said. ‘I loved yur stew.’

‘Really?’ Leesha sniffed.

‘Really,’ he promised, pulling her close and kissing her deeply. ‘We could feed an army of sons on cooking like that,’ he husked.

Leesha giggled. ‘I might have trouble squeezing out an army of little Gareds,’ she said.

He held her tighter, and put his lips to her ear. ‘Right now, I’m only interested in you squeezing one in,’ he said.

Leesha groaned, but she gently pushed him away. ‘We’ll be wed soon enough,’ she said.

‘Yesterday ent soon enough,’ Gared said, but he let her go.

Leesha lay curled up in blankets by the common room fire. Steave had her room, and Gared was on a cot in the shop. The floor was draughty and cold at night, and the wool rug was rough and hard to lie upon. She longed for her own bed, though nothing short of burning would erase the stench of Steave and her mother’s sin.

She wasn’t even sure why Elona bothered with the ruse. It wasn’t as if she was fooling anyone. She might as well put Erny out in the common room and take Steave right to her bed.

Leesha couldn’t wait until she and Gared could leave.

She lay awake, listening to the demons testing the wards and imagining running the papermaking shop with Gared, her father retired and her mother and Steave sadly passed on. Her belly was round and full, and she kept books while Gared came in flexed and sweaty from working the grinder. He kissed her as their little ones raced about the shop.

The image warmed her, but she remembered Bruna’s words, and wondered if she would be missing something if she devoted her life to children and papermaking. She closed her eyes again, and imagined herself as the Herb Gatherer of Cutter’s Hollow, everyone depending on her to cure their ills, deliver their babies, and heal their wounds. It was a powerful image, but one harder to fit Gared or children into. An Herb Gatherer had to visit the sick, and the image of Gared carrying her herbs and tools from place to place didn’t ring true, nor did the idea of him keeping an eye on the children while she worked.

Bruna had managed it, however many decades ago, marrying, raising children, and still tending the folk, but Leesha didn’t see how. She would have to ask the old woman.

She heard a click, and looked up to see Gared gingerly stepping from the shop. She pretended to be asleep until he drew near, then rolled over suddenly. ‘What are you doing out here?’ she whispered. Gared jumped and covered his mouth to muffle a yelp. Leesha had to bite her lip to keep from laughing aloud.

‘I just came to use the privy,’ Gared whispered, coming over and kneeling beside her.

‘There’s a privy in the shop,’ Leesha reminded him.

‘Then I came for a goodnight kiss,’ he said, leaning in with his lips puckered.

‘You had three when you first went to bed,’ Leesha said, playfully smacking him away.

‘Is it so bad to want another?’ Gared asked.

‘I suppose not,’ Leesha said, putting her arms around his shoulders.

Some time later, there was the creak of another door. Gared stiffened, looking about for a place to hide. Leesha pointed to one of the chairs. He was far too big to be covered completely, but with only the dim orange glow from the fireplace to see by, it might prove enough.

A faint light appeared a moment later, dashing that hope. Leesha barely managed to lie back down and close her eyes before it swept into the room.

Through slitted eyes, Leesha saw her mother looking into the common room. The lantern she held was mostly shuttered, and the light threw great shadows, giving Gared room enough to hide if she didn’t look too closely.

They needn’t have worried. After satisfying herself that Leesha was asleep, Elona opened the door to Steave’s room and disappeared inside.

Leesha stared after her for a long time. That Elona was being untrue was no great revelation, but until this very moment, Leesha had allowed herself the luxury of doubting that her mother could truly be so willing to throw away her vows.

She felt Gared’s hand on her shoulder. ‘Leesha, I’m sorry,’ he said, and she buried her face in his chest, weeping. He held her tightly, muffling her sobs and rocking back and forth. A demon roared somewhere off in the distance, and Leesha wanted to scream along with it. She held her tongue in the vain hope that her father was sleeping, oblivious to Elona’s grunting, but the likelihood seemed remote unless she had used one of Bruna’s sleeping draughts on him.

‘I’ll take you away from this,’ Gared said. ‘We’ll waste no time in making plans, and I’ll have a house for us before the ceremony if I have to cut and carry all the logs myself.’

‘Oh, Gared,’ she said, kissing him. He returned the embrace, and laid her down again. The thumping from Steave’s room and the sound of the demons without all faded away into the thrum of blood in her ears.

Gared’s hands roamed her body freely, and Leesha let him touch places that only a husband should. She gasped and arched her back in pleasure, and Gared took the opportunity to position himself between her legs. She felt him slip free of his breeches, and knew what he was doing. She knew she should push him away, but there was a great emptiness inside her, and Gared seemed the only person in the world who might be able to fill it.

He was about to drive forward when Leesha heard her mother cry out in pleasure, and she stiffened. Was she any better than Elona, if she gave up her vows so easily? She swore to cross the wards of her marriage house a virgin. She swore to be nothing like Elona. But here she was, throwing all that away to rut with a boy mere feet from where her mother sinned.

It’s oath breakers I can’t abide, she heard Bruna say again, and Leesha pressed her hands hard against Gared’s chest.

‘Gared, no, please,’ she whispered. Gared stiffened for a long moment. Finally, he rolled away from her and retied his breeches.

‘I’m sorry,’ Leesha said weakly.

‘No, I’m sorry,’ Gared said. He kissed her temple. ‘I can wait.’

Leesha hugged him tightly, and Gared rose to leave. She wanted him to stay and sleep beside her, but they had stretched their luck thin as it was. If they were caught together, Elona would punish her severely, despite her own sin. Perhaps even because of it.

As the door to the shop clicked shut, Leesha lay back filled with warm thoughts of Gared. Whatever pain her mother might bring her, she could weather it so long as she had Gared.

Breakfast was an uncomfortable affair, the sounds of chewing and swallowing thunderous in the mute pall hanging over the table. It seemed there was nothing to say not better left unsaid. Leesha wordlessly cleared the table while Gared and Steave fetched their axes.

‘Will you be in the shop today?’ Gared asked, finally breaking the silence. Erny looked up for the first time that morning, interested in her reply.

‘I promised Bruna I’d help tend the wounded again today,’ Leesha said, but she looked apologetically at her father as she did. Erny nodded in understanding and smiled weakly.

‘And how long is that to go on for?’ Elona asked.

Leesha shrugged. ‘Until they’re better, I suppose,’ she said.

‘You’re spending too much time with that old witch,’ Elona said.

‘At your request,’ Leesha reminded.

Elona scowled. ‘Don’t get smart with me, girl.’

Anger flared in Leesha, but she flashed her most winning smile as she swung her cloak around her shoulders. ‘Don’t worry, Mother,’ she said, ‘I won’t drink too much of her tea.’

Steave snorted, and Elona’s eyes bulged, but Leesha swept out the door before she could recover enough to reply.

Gared walked with her a ways, but soon they reached the place where the woodcutters met each morning, and Gared’s friends were already waiting.

‘Yur late, Gar,’ Evin grumbled.

‘Gotta woman t’cook for him, now,’ Flinn said. ‘That’ll make any man linger.’

‘If he even slept,’ Ren snorted. ‘My guess is he got her doing more’n cooking, an’ right under her father’s nose.’

‘Ren got that right, Gar?’ Flinn asked. ‘Find a new place to keep yur axe last night?’

Leesha bristled and opened her mouth to retort, but Gared laid a hand on her shoulder. ‘Pay them no mind,’ he said. ‘They’re just tryin’ to make you spit.’

‘You could defend my honour,’ Leesha said. Creator knew, boys would fight for any other reason.

‘Oh, I will,’ Gared promised. ‘I just don’t want ya to see it. I’d rather ya keep thinking me gentle.’

‘You are gentle,’ Leesha said, standing on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. The boys hooted, and Leesha stuck her tongue out at them as she walked off.

‘Idiot girl,’ Bruna muttered, when Leesha told her what she had said to Elona. ‘Only a fool shows their cards when the game’s just getting started.’

‘This isn’t a game, it’s my life!’ Leesha said.

Bruna grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks so hard her lips puckered apart. ‘All the more reason to show a little sense,’ she growled, glaring with her milky eyes.

Leesha felt anger flare hotly within her. Who was this woman, to speak to her so? Bruna seemed to hold the entire town in scorn, grabbing, hitting, and threatening anyone she pleased. Was she any better than Elona, really? Had she had Leesha’s best interests at heart when she told her all those horrible things about her mother, or was she just manipulating her to become her apprentice, like Elona’s pressure to marry Gared early and bear his children? In her heart, Leesha wanted both of those things, but she was tiring of being pushed.

‘Well, well, look who’s back,’ came a voice from the door. ‘The young prodigy.’

Leesha looked up to see Darsy standing in the doorway of the Holy House with an armful of firewood. The woman made no effort to hide her dislike for Leesha, and she could be just as intimidating as Bruna when she wished. Leesha had tried to assure her that she was not a threat, but her overtures only seemed to make things worse. Darsy was determined not to like her.

‘Don’t blame Leesha if she’s learned more in two days than you did in your first year,’ Bruna said, as Darsy slammed down the wood and lifted a heavy iron poker to stoke the fire.

Leesha was sure she would never get along with Darsy so long as Bruna kept picking at the wound, but she busied herself grinding herbs for poultices. Several of those burned in the attack had skin infections that needed regular attention. Others were worse still. Bruna had been shaken awake twice in the night to tend those, but so far, her herbs and skills had not failed her.

Bruna had assumed complete control of the Holy House, ordering Tender Michel and the rest around like Milnese servants. She kept Leesha close by, talking continuously in her phlegmy rasp, explaining the nature of the wounds, and the properties of the herbs she used to treat them. Leesha watched her cut and sew flesh, and found her stomach was strengthening to such things.

Morning faded into afternoon, and Leesha had to force Bruna to pause and eat. Others might not notice the strain in the old woman’s breath or the shake of her hands, but Leesha did.

‘That’s it,’ she said finally, snatching the mortar and pestle from the Herb Gatherer’s hands. Bruna looked up at her sharply.

‘Go and rest,’ Leesha said.

‘Who are you, girl, to …’ Bruna began, reaching for her stick.

Leesha was wise to the move and faster, grabbing the stick and pointing it right at Bruna’s hooked nose. ‘You’re going to have another attack if you don’t rest,’ she scolded. ‘I’m taking you outside, and no arguing! Stefny and Darsy can handle things for an hour.’

‘Barely,’ Bruna grumbled, but she allowed Leesha to help her up and lead her outside.

The sun was high in the sky, and the grass by the Holy House was lush and green, save for a few patches blackened by flame demons. Leesha spread a blanket and eased Bruna down, bringing her special tea and soft bread that would not strain the crone’s few remaining teeth.

They sat in comfortable silence for a time, enjoying the warm spring day. Leesha thought she had been unfair, comparing Bruna to her mother. When was the last time she and Elona had shared a comfortable silence in the sun? Had they ever?

She heard a rasping sound, and turned to find Bruna snoring. She smiled and spread the woman’s shawl over her. She stretched her legs, and spotted Saira and Mairy a short way off, sewing out on the grass. They waved and beckoned, shifting over on their blanket to make room as Leesha came to sit.

‘How goes the Herb Gathering?’ Mairy asked.

‘Exhausting,’ Leesha said. ‘Where’s Brianne?’

The girls looked at one another and giggled. ‘Off in the woods with Evin,’ Saira said.

Leesha tsked. ‘That girl is going to end up like Klarissa,’ she said.

Saira shrugged. ‘Brianne says you can’t scorn something you haven’t tried.’

‘Are you planning to try?’ Leesha asked.

‘You think you’ve no reason not to wait,’ Saira said. ‘I thought that, too, before Jak was taken. Now I’d give anything to have had him once before he died. To have his child, even.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Leesha said.

‘It’s all right,’ Saira replied sadly. Leesha embraced her, and Mairy joined in.

‘Oh, how sweet!’ came a cry from behind them. ‘I want to hug, too!’ They looked up just as Brianne crashed into them, knocking them laughing into the grass.

‘You’re in good spirits today,’ Leesha said.

‘A romp in the woods’ll do that,’ Brianne said with a wink, elbowing her in the ribs. ‘Besides,’ she sang, ‘Eeevin told me a seecret!’

‘Tell us!’ the three girls cried at once.

Brianne laughed, and her eyes flicked to Leesha. ‘Maybe later,’ she said. ‘How’s the crone’s new apprentice today?’

‘I’m not her apprentice, whatever Bruna may think,’ Leesha said. ‘I’m still going to run my father’s shop once Gared and I marry. I’m just helping with the sick.’

‘Better you’n me,’ Brianne said. ‘Herb Gathering seems like hard work. You look a mess. Get enough sleep last night?’

Leesha shook her head. ‘The floor by the hearth isn’t as comfortable as a bed,’ she said.

‘I wouldn’t mind sleeping on the floor if I had Gared for a pallet,’ Brianne said.

‘And just what is that supposed to mean?’ Leesha asked.

‘Don’t play dumb, Leesh,’ Brianne said with a hint of irritation. ‘We’re your friends.’

Leesha puffed up. ‘If you’re insinuating …!’

‘Come off the pedestal, Leesha,’ Brianne said. ‘I know Gared had you last night. I’d hoped you’d be honest with us about it.’

Saira and Mairy gasped, and Leesha’s eyes bulged, her face reddening. ‘He had no such thing!’ she shouted. ‘Who told you that?’

‘Evin,’ Brianne smiled. ‘Said Gared’s been bragging all day.’

‘Then Gared’s a ripping liar!’ Leesha barked. ‘I’m not some tramp, to go around …’

Brianne’s face darkened, and Leesha gasped and covered her mouth. ‘Oh, Brianne,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry! I didn’t mean …’

‘No, I think you did,’ Brianne said. ‘I think it’s the only true thing you’ve said today.’

She stood and brushed off her skirts, her usual good mood vanished. ‘Come on, girls,’ she said. ‘Let’s go somewhere where the air’s cleaner.’

Saira and Mairy looked at each other, then at Leesha, but Brianne was already walking, and they rose quickly to follow. Leesha opened her mouth, but choked, not knowing what to say.

‘Leesha!’ she heard Bruna cry. She turned to see the old woman bracing on her cane and struggling to rise. With a pained glance at her departing friends, Leesha rushed to aid her.

Leesha was waiting as Gared and Steave came sauntering down the path towards her father’s house. They joked and laughed, and their joviality gave Leesha the strength she needed. She gripped her skirts in white-knuckled fists as she strode up to them.

‘Leesha!’ Steave greeted with a mocking smile. ‘How’s my soon-to-be daughter today?’ He spread his arms wide, as if to sweep her into a hug.

Leesha ignored him, going right up to Gared and slapping him full in the face.

‘Hey!’ Gared cried.

‘Oh ho!’ Steave laughed. Leesha fixed him with her mother’s best glare, and he put up his hands placatingly.

‘I see yuv some talkin’ to do,’ he said, ‘so I’ll leave you to it.’ He looked at Gared and winked. ‘Pleasure has its price,’ he advised as he left.

Leesha whirled on Gared, swinging at him again. He caught her wrist and squeezed hard. ‘Leesha, stop it!’ he demanded.

Leesha ignored the pain in her wrist, slamming her knee hard between his legs. Her thick skirts softened the blow, but it was enough to break his grip and drop him to the ground, clutching his crotch. Leesha kicked him, but Gared was thick with hard muscle, and his hands protected the one place vulnerable to her strength.

‘Leesha, what the Core is the matter with you?’ Gared gasped, but it was cut off as she kicked him in the mouth.

Gared growled, and the next time she lifted her foot, he grabbed it and shoved hard, sending her flying backwards. The breath was knocked out of her as she landed on her back, and before she could recover, Gared pounced, catching her arms and pinning her to the ground.

‘Have you gone crazy?!’ he shouted, as she continued to thrash under him. His face was flushed purple, and his eyes were tearing.

‘How could you?’ Leesha shrieked. ‘Son of a coreling, how could you be so cruel?’

‘Night, Leesha, what are you about?’ Gared croaked, leaning more heavily on her.

‘How could you?’ she asked again. ‘How could you lie and tell everyone you broke me last night?’

Gared looked genuinely taken aback. ‘Who told you that?’ he demanded, and Leesha dared to hope that the lie was not his.

‘Evin told Brianne,’ she said.

‘I’ll kill that son of the Core,’ Gared growled, easing his weight back. ‘He promised to keep his mouth shut.’

‘So it’s true?!’ Leesha shrieked. She brought her knee up hard, and Gared howled and rolled off her. She was up and out of his reach before he recovered enough to grasp at her again.

‘Why?’ she demanded. ‘Why would you lie like that?’

‘It was just cutter talk,’ Gared groaned, ‘it dint mean anything.’

Leesha had never spat in her life, but she spat at him. ‘Didn’t mean anything?’ she screamed. ‘You’ve ruined my life for something that didn’t mean anything?’

Gared got up, and Leesha backed off. He held up his hands and kept his distance.

‘Your life ent ruined,’ he said.

‘Brianne knows!’ Leesha shouted back. ‘And Saira and Mairy! The whole village will know by tomorrow!’

‘Leesha …’ Gared began.

‘How many others?’ she cut him off.

‘What?’

‘How many other did you tell, you idiot?’ she screamed.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down. ‘Just the other cutters,’ he said.

‘Night! ALL of them?!’ Leesha ran at him, clawing at his face, but he caught her hands.

‘Calm down!’ Gared shouted. His hands, like two hams, squeezed, and a jolt of pain ran down her arms, bringing her to her senses.

‘You’re hurting me,’ she said with all the calm she could muster.

‘That’s better,’ he said, easing the pressure without letting go. ‘Doubt it hurts anywhere near as much as a kick in the seedpods.’

‘You deserved it,’ Leesha said.

‘Suppose I did,’ Gared said. ‘Now can we talk civilized?’

‘If you let go of me,’ she said.

Gared frowned, then let go quickly and skittered out of kicking range.

‘Will you tell everyone you lied?’ Leesha asked.

Gared shook his head. ‘Can’t do that, Leesh. I’ll look a fool.’

‘Better that I look a whore?’ Leesha countered.

‘You ent no whore, Leesh, we’s promised. It’s not like yur Brianne.’

‘Fine,’ Leesha said. ‘Maybe I’ll tell a few lies myself. If your friends teased you before, what do you think they’ll say if I tell them you weren’t stiff enough to do the deed?’

Gared balled one of his huge fists and raised it slightly. ‘Ya don’ wanna do that, Leesha. I’m being patient with ya, but if you go spreading lies like that, I swear …’

‘But it’s fine to lie about me?’ Leesha asked.

‘Won’t matter once we’re married,’ Gared said. ‘Everyone will forget.’

‘I’m not marrying you,’ Leesha said, and suddenly felt a huge weight shift from her.

Gared scowled. ‘Not like you have a choice,’ he said. ‘Even if someone would take ya now, that bookmole Jona or somesuch, I will beat him down. Ent no one in Cutter’s Hollow gonna take what’s mine.’

‘Enjoy the fruits of your lie,’ Leesha said, turning away before he saw her tears, ‘because I’ll give myself to the night before I let you make it a reality.’

It took all of Leesha’s strength to keep from breaking down in tears as she prepared supper that night. Every sound from Gared and Steave was like a knife in her heart. She had been tempted by Gared the night before. She had almost let him have his way, knowing full well what it meant. It had hurt to refuse him, but she had thought her virtue was hers to give. She had never imagined that he could take it with but a word, much less that he would.

‘Just as well you’ve been spending so much time with Bruna,’ came a whisper at her ear. Leesha whirled to find Elona standing there, smirking at her.

‘We wouldn’t want you to have a round belly on your wedding day,’ Elona said.

Regretting her tea comment from that morning, Leesha opened her mouth to reply, but her mother cackled and whirled away before she could find a word.

Leesha spat in her mother’s bowl, Gared’s and Steave’s, too. She felt hollow satisfaction as they ate.

Dinner was a horrid affair, Steave whispering in her mother’s ear, and Elona snickering at his words. Gared stared at her the whole time, but Leesha refused to look at him. She kept her eyes on her bowl, stirring numbly like her father beside her.

Only Erny seemed not to have heard Gared’s lie. Leesha was thankful for that, but she knew in her heart it could not last. Too many people seemed intent to destroy her with it.

She left the table as soon as she could. Gared kept his seat, but Leesha felt his eyes following her. The moment he retired into the shop, she barred him inside, feeling slightly safer.

Like so many nights before, Leesha cried herself to sleep.

Leesha rose doubting she had ever slept. Her mother had paid Steave another late-night visit, but Leesha felt only numbness as she listened to their grunts over the cacophony of the demons.

Gared, too, caused a thump deep in the night, discovering the door to the house barred. She smiled grimly as he tried the latch a few more times before finally giving up.

Erny came over to kiss the top of her head as she set the porridge on the fire. It was the first time they’d been alone together in days. She wondered what it would do to her already broken father when Gared’s lie found his ears. He might have believed her once, but with his wife’s betrayal still fresh, Leesha doubted he had much trust left to give.

‘Healing the sick again today?’ Erny asked. When Leesha nodded, he smiled and said, ‘That’s good.’

‘I’m sorry I haven’t had more time for the shop,’ Leesha said.

He took hold of her arms and leaned in close, looking her in the eyes. ‘People are always more important than paper, Leesha.’

‘Even the bad ones?’ she asked.

‘Even the bad ones,’ he confirmed. His smile was pained, but there was neither hesitation nor doubt in his answer. ‘Find the worst human being you can, and you’ll still find something worse by looking out the window at night.’

Leesha started to cry, and her father pulled her close, rocking her back and forth and stroking her hair. ‘I’m proud of you, Leesh,’ he whispered. ‘Papermaking was my dream. The wards won’t fail if you choose another path.’

She hugged him tightly, soaking his shirt with her tears. ‘I love you, Da,’ she said. ‘Whatever happens, never doubt that.’

‘I never could, sunlight,’ he said. ‘I’ll always love you, as well.’

She held on for a long time; her father the only friend she had left in the world.

She scooted out the door while Gared and Steave were still pulling on their boots. She hoped to avoid everyone on her way to the Holy House, but Gared’s friends were waiting just outside. Their greeting was a hail of whistles and catcalls.

‘Jus’ came by to make sure you and yur mum ent keeping Gared and Steave abed when they oughta be working!’ Ren called. Leesha turned bright red, but said nothing as she pushed past and hurried down the road. Their laughter cut at her back.

She didn’t think she was imagining it; the way people stared and broke into whispers as she passed. She hurried to the security of the Holy House, but when she arrived, Stefny blocked the door, her nostrils flaring as if Leesha stunk of the lye her father used to make paper.

‘What are you doing?’ Leesha asked. ‘Let me pass. I’m here to help Bruna.’

Stefny shook her head. ‘You’ll not taint this sacred place with your sin,’ she sneered.

Leesha pulled herself up to her full height, taller than Stefny by inches, but she still felt like a mouse before a cat. ‘I have committed no sin,’ she said.

‘Hah!’ Stefny laughed. ‘The whole town knows what you and Gared have been up to in the night. I had hopes for you, girl, but it seems you’re your mother’s daughter after all.’

‘What’s all this?’ came Bruna’s hoarse rasp before Leesha could reply.

Stefny turned, filled with haughty pride, and looked down at the old Herb Gatherer. ‘This girl is a whore, and I won’t have her in the Creator’s House.’

‘You won’t have?’ Bruna asked. ‘Are you the Creator now?’

‘Do not blaspheme in this place, old woman,’ Stefny said. ‘His words are written for all to see.’ She held up the leather-bound copy of the Canon she carried everywhere. ‘Fornicators and adulterers keep the Plague upon us, and that sums this slut and her mother well.’

‘And where is your proof of her crime?’ Bruna asked.

Stefny smiled. ‘Gared has boasted their sin to any who would listen,’ she said.

Bruna growled, and lashed out suddenly, striking Stefny on the head with her staff and knocking her to the ground. ‘You would condemn a girl with no more proof than a boy’s boast?’ she shrieked. ‘Boys’ bragging isn’t worth the breath that carries it, and you know it well!’

‘Everyone knows her mother is the town whore,’ Stefny sneered. A trickle of blood ran down her temple. ‘Why should the pup be different from the bitch?’

Bruna thrust her staff into Stefny’s shoulder, making her cry out in pain.

‘Hey there!’ Smitt called, rushing over. ‘Enough of that!’

Tender Michel was hot on his heels. ‘This is a Holy House, not some Angierian tavern …’

‘Women’s business is what this is, and you’ll stay out of it, if you know what’s good for you!’ Bruna snapped, taking the wind from their sails. She looked back to Stefny. ‘Tell them, or shall I lay bare your sin as well?’ she hissed.

‘I have no sin, hag!’ Stefny said.

‘I’ve delivered every child in this village,’ Bruna replied, too quietly for the men to hear, ‘and despite the rumours, I see quite well when things are as close as a babe in my hands.’

Stefny blanched, and turned to her husband and the Tender. ‘Stay out of this!’ she called.

‘The Core I will!’ Smitt cried. He grabbed Bruna’s staff and pulled it off his wife. ‘See here, woman,’ he told Bruna. ‘Herb Gatherer or no, you can’t just go around hitting whomever you please!’

‘Oh, but your wife can go around condemning whomever she pleases?’ Bruna snapped. She yanked her staff from his hands and clonked him on the head with it.

Smitt staggered back, rubbing his head. ‘All right,’ he said, ‘I tried being nice.’

Usually, Smitt said that just before rolling up his sleeves and hurling someone bodily from his tavern. He wasn’t a tall man, but his squat frame was powerful, and he’d had plenty of experience in dealing with drunken cutters over the years.

Bruna was no thick-muscled cutter, but she didn’t appear the least bit intimidated. She stood her ground as Smitt stormed towards her.

‘Fine!’ she cried. ‘Throw me out! Mix the herbs yourself! You and Stefny heal the ones that vomit blood and catch demon fever! Deliver your own babies while you’re at it! Brew your own cures! Make your own flamesticks! What do you need to put up with the hag for?’

‘What, indeed?’ Darsy asked. Everyone stared at her as she strode up to Smitt.

‘I can mix herbs and deliver babies as well as she can,’ Darsy said.

‘Hah!’ Bruna said. Even Smitt looked at her doubtfully.

Darsy ignored her. ‘I say it’s time for a change,’ she said. ‘I may not have a hundred years of experience like Bruna, but I won’t go around bullying everyone, either.’

Smitt scratched his chin, and glanced over to Bruna, who cackled.

‘Go on,’ she dared. ‘I could use the rest. But don’t come begging to my hut when the sow stitches what she should have cut, and cuts what she should have stitched.’

‘Perhaps Darsy deserves a chance,’ Smitt said.

‘Settled, then!’ Bruna said, thumping her staff on the floor. ‘Be sure to tell the rest of the town who to go to for their cures. I’ll thank you for the peace at my hut!’

She turned to Leesha. ‘Come, girl, help an old crone walk home.’ She took Leesha’s arm, and the two of them turned for the door.

As they passed Stefny, though, Bruna stopped, pointing her staff at her and whispering for only the three women to hear. ‘You say one more word against this girl, or suffer others to, and the whole town will know your shame.’

Stefny’s look of terror stayed with Leesha the whole way back to Bruna’s hut.

Once they were inside, Bruna whirled on her.

‘Well, girl? Is it true?’ she asked.

‘No!’ Leesha cried. ‘I mean, we almost … but I told him to stop and he did!’

It sounded lame and implausible, and she knew it. Terror gripped her. Bruna was the only one who stood up for her. She thought she would die if the old woman thought her a liar, too.

‘You … you can check me, if you want,’ she said, her cheeks colouring. She looked at the floor, and squinted back tears.

Bruna grunted, and shook her head. ‘I believe you, girl.’

‘Why?’ Leesha asked, almost pleading. ‘Why would Gared lie like that?’

‘Because boys get praise for the same things that get girls run out of town,’ Bruna said. ‘Because men are ruled by what others think of their dangling worms. Because he’s a petty, hurtful little wood-brained shit with no concept of what he had.’

Leesha started to cry again. She felt like she’d been crying forever. Surely a body could not hold so many tears.

Bruna opened her arms, and Leesha fell into them. ‘There, there, girl,’ she said. ‘Get it all out, and then we’ll figure out what to do.’

There was silence in Bruna’s hut while Leesha made tea. It was still early in the day, but she felt utterly drained. How could she hope to live the rest of her life in Cutter’s Hollow?

Fort Rizon is only a week away, she thought. Thousands of people. No one would hear of Gared’s lies there. I could find Klarissa and …

And what? She knew it was just a fantasy. Even if she could find a Messenger to take her, the thought of a week and more on the open road made her blood run cold, and the Rizonans were farmers, with little use for letters or papermaking. She could find a new husband perhaps, but the thought of tying her fate to another man gave little comfort.

She brought Bruna her tea, hoping the old woman had an answer, but the Herb Gatherer said nothing, sipping quietly as Leesha knelt beside her chair.

‘What am I going to do?’ she asked. ‘I can’t hide here forever.’

‘You could,’ Bruna said. ‘Whatever Darsy boasts, she hasn’t retained a fraction of what I’ve taught her, and I haven’t taught her a fraction of what I know. The folk’ll be back soon enough, begging my help. Stay, and a year from now the people of Cutter’s Hollow won’t know how they ever got along without you.’

‘My mother will never allow that,’ Leesha said. ‘She’s still set on me marrying Gared.’

Bruna nodded. ‘She would be. She’s never forgiven herself for not bearing Steave’s sons. She’s determined that you correct her mistakes.’

‘I won’t do it,’ Leesha said. ‘I’ll give myself to the night before I let Gared touch me.’ She was shocked to realize that she meant every word.

‘That’s very brave of you, dearie,’ Bruna said, but there was disdain in her tone. ‘So brave to throw your life away over a boy’s lie and fear of your mother.’

‘I am not afraid of her!’ Leesha said.

‘Just of telling her you won’t marry the boy who destroyed your reputation?’

Leesha was quiet a long time before nodding. ‘You’re right,’ she said. Bruna grunted.

Leesha stood. ‘I suppose I had best get it over with,’ she said. Bruna said nothing.

At the door, Leesha stopped, and looked back.

‘Bruna?’ she asked. The old woman grunted again. ‘What was Stefny’s sin?’

Bruna sipped her tea. ‘Smitt has three beautiful children,’ she said.

‘Four,’ Leesha corrected.

Bruna shook her head. ‘Stefny has four,’ she said. ‘Smitt has three.’

Leesha’s eyes widened. ‘But how could that be?’ she asked. ‘Stefny never leaves the tavern, but to go to the Holy …’ She gasped.

‘Even Holy Men are men,’ Bruna said.

Leesha walked home slowly, trying to choose words, but in the end she knew that phrasing was meaningless. All that mattered was that she would not marry Gared, and her mother’s reaction.

It was late in the day when she walked into the house. Gared and Steave would be back from the woods soon. She needed the confrontation over with before they arrived.

‘Well, you’ve really made a mess of things now,’ her mother said acidly as she walked in. ‘My daughter, the town tramp.’

‘I’m not a tramp,’ Leesha said. ‘Gared has been spreading lies.’

‘Don’t you dare blame him because you couldn’t keep your legs closed!’ Elona said.

‘I didn’t sleep with him,’ Leesha said.

‘Hah!’ Elona barked. ‘Don’t take me for a fool, Leesha. I was young once, too.’

‘You’ve been “young” every night this week,’ Leesha said, ‘and Gared is still a liar.’

Elona slapped her, knocking her to the floor. ‘Don’t you dare speak to me like that, you little whore!’ she screeched.

Leesha lay still, knowing that if she moved, her mother would hit her again. Her cheek felt like it was on fire.

Seeing her daughter humbled, Elona took a deep breath, and seemed to calm. ‘It’s no matter,’ she said. ‘I’ve always thought you needed a knocking from the pedestal your idiot father put you on. You’ll marry Gared soon enough, and folk will tire of whispering eventually.’

Leesha steeled herself. ‘I’m not marrying him,’ she said. ‘He’s a liar, and I won’t do it.’

‘Oh, yes you will,’ Elona said.

‘I won’t,’ Leesha said, the words giving her strength as she rose to her feet. ‘I won’t say the words, and there’s nothing you can do to make me.’

‘We’ll just see about that,’ Elona said, snatching off her belt. It was a thick leather strap with a metal buckle that she always wore loosely around her waist. Leesha thought she wore it just to have it at hand to beat her.

She came at Leesha, who shrieked and retreated into the kitchen before realizing it was the last place she should have gone. There was only one way in or out.

She screamed as the buckle cut through her dress and into her back. Elona swung again, and Leesha threw herself at her mother in desperation. As they tumbled to the floor, she heard the door open, and Steave’s voice. At the same time, there was a questioning call from the shop.

Elona made good use of the distraction, punching her daughter full in the face. She was on her feet in an instant, whipping the belt into Leesha, drawing another scream from her lips.

‘What in the Core is going on?!’ came a cry from the doorway. Leesha looked up to see her father struggling to get into the kitchen, blocked by Steave’s meaty arm.

‘Get out of my way!’ Erny cried.

‘This is between them,’ Steave said with a grin.

‘This is my home you’re a guest in!’ Erny cried. ‘Get out of the way!’

When Steave did not budge, Erny punched him.

Everyone froze. It wasn’t clear that Steave had felt the punch at all. He broke the sudden silence with a laugh, casually shoving Erny and sending him flying into the common room.

‘You ladies settle yur differences in private,’ Steave said with a wink, pulling the kitchen door shut as Leesha’s mother rounded on her once more.

Leesha wept quietly in the back room of her father’s shop, dabbing gently at her cuts and bruises. Had she the proper herbs, she could have done more, but cold water and cloth were all she had.

She had fled into the shop right after her ordeal, locking the doors from the inside, and ignoring even the gentle knocks of her father. When the wounds were clean and the deepest cuts bound, Leesha curled up on the floor, shaking with pain and shame.

‘You’ll marry Gared the day you bleed,’ Elona had promised, ‘or we’ll do this every day until you do.’

Leesha knew she meant it, and knew Gared’s rumour would have many people taking her mother’s side and insisting they wed, ignoring Leesha’s bruises as they had many times before.

I won’t do it, Leesha promised herself. I’ll give myself to the night first.

Just then, a cramp wracked her guts. Leesha groaned, and felt dampness on her thighs. Terrified, she swabbed herself with a clean cloth, praying fervently, but there, like a cruel joke of the Creator, was blood.

Leesha shrieked. She heard an answering call from the house.

There was a pounding at the door. ‘Leesha, are you all right?’ her father called.

Leesha didn’t answer, staring at the blood in horror. Was it only two days ago she had been praying for it to come? Now she looked at it as if had come from the Core.

‘Leesha, open the door this instant, or you’ll have night to pay!’ her mother screeched.

Leesha ignored her.

‘If you don’t listen to yur mother and open this door before I count to ten, Leesha, I swear I will break it down!’ Steave boomed.

Fear gripped Leesha as Steave began to count. She had no doubt he could and would splinter the heavy wooden door with a single blow. She ran to the outer door, throwing it open.

It was almost dark. The sky was deep purple, and the last sliver of sun would dip below the horizon in mere minutes.

‘Five!’ Steve called. ‘Four! Three!’

Leesha sucked in her breath and ran from the house.