Читать книгу The Three of U.S.: A New Life in New York - Peter Godwin - Страница 25

I have no inclination to read The Expectant Father, but am somehow drawn to it, almost titillated by the horror of what lies ahead. It warns me that Joanna may now exhibit violent mood swings as her hormones fizz with new life. My real worry is not the mood swings themselves, but her use of pregnancy as an all-purpose excuse for bad behaviour. She is already a skilful practitioner of premenstrual tension. By spicing it with the odd display of coquettishness and an occasional glancing apology, she can shroud bad behaviour for up to three weeks out of every four.

Now Joanna has nine months’ access to the one excuse that tops PMT. I am filled with apprehension that she will seize upon her condition to behave as disruptively as she pleases. And though I’m determined to be stoical and tolerant, I suspect that this restraint on my part will only provoke her further.

Swallowing my panic at the turn of events, I grab my kit and head for the gym. I will exercise my way out of this anxiety. The lift doors part to reveal a neighbour who is an actor and his dog, a grinning Labrador with a red polka-dotted bandanna round its neck. The dog thumps its tail on the floor and, unsolicited, puts its paw up to be shaken. His owner and I exchange small talk. ‘I’m up to my neck in Rosie’s taxes,’ he complains, patting the dog. ‘I calculate that she’s earned more appearing in commercials this tax year than I have. And there’s only so many vet’s bills and dog food that I can write off.’

At the Printing House gym, I gaze out over the West Village, while I pedal wildly, going nowhere on the stationary bike, and it occurs to me that I will have to earn more money if we are going to have a child. Hell, even our neighbour’s dog earns more than I do.