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pick me

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It’s cold and I am 14, standing on the grass hockey pitch waiting to be chosen for a team. Standing there. It is a popularity contest. Who would have thought that is what it came down to? It didn’t seem to matter that I was good at sports. I still had to stand there waiting to be chosen, sometimes last.

Choice is a funny thing. These days we have so much opportunity but so much choice can be overwhelming; what to watch, to listen to, where to live, what to wear, (even what hair colour). We can choose friends, nights in or out, how to behave, respond, and we have choice in what we do. But within the mix of our own choices our lives are impacted by other people’s choices too. How we handle these choices can define who we are and how we navigate life.

I thought once I’d left the playground of school it would get easier. It doesn’t always. Every day being picked (or not) affects us. Jobs; rounds and rounds of interviews and rejections, the ‘she was fantastic, perfect, wonderful – it’s just that we went with a candidate who had just a bit more relevant experience’. Friendships and relationships; even when you are picked, how long for? What happens when you are chosen and then it does not work out?

I’ve lived and worked in London, England for a decade. Sitting on the tube (the London Underground), looking at the hands of my fellow female commuters, the many girls who are ring finger bare. What does it mean? Are we not special enough to be chosen? A while back (in a serious relationship myself) I looked at these girls feeling sadness for them, I felt I was one of the lucky ones. Picked, chosen, life moving in the ‘right’ direction. What a crash when it ended, feeling like I was back on that cold hockey pitch.

Life is a series of experiences; some good, some bad. When it is bad how do we pick ourselves up off the ground? We need support to dust ourselves down, and when we are ready, boldness to do it all over again.

We all have choices, and thankfully over time I’ve made some good ones in my activities, locations, career and friends and feel blessed for it. You can support how you are chosen by putting yourself in the right places and making good choices yourself.

As much as we are picked, we pick. I hope to inspire you to consider your choices, to consider how you choose, and to encourage you develop your skills to do life well so you can navigated the challenges, create opportunity and enjoy being all you want to be.

Pick Me

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