Читать книгу Woman and Puppet, Etc - Pierre Louys - Страница 13

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After all that had happened I had three paths open before me—

To leave her for ever;

To force her to stay with me;

To take her life.

I took a fourth path. I submitted to her own way of treating me. Each evening I returned to my cozenage, looking at her, and waiting, waiting.

Little by little, I think, she was more softened towards me. It even seemed sometimes that she had not really intended me the harm that had in fact been done. But the tavern life she now made me lead did not suit me. It never has or can. The Señora Perez was there too.

She seemed to know nothing of what had happened. Did she lie? I heard her Memoirs once more, and paid for her glasses of Eau-de-vie.

My sole instants of joy were provided by the dances of Concha. Her triumph was the dance named The Flamenco. What a tragic dance! It is, so to speak, all passion expressed in three acts. I always see her in that dance. She was resplendent. During a month she tolerated me in what may be called the dressing-room, at the rear of the stage where the dances took place. I had not even the right to see her home; I kept my “place” near her on conditions—no reproaches as to the past or the present. As to the future I did not know anything, and had no idea whatever what would be the solution of my most pitiable adventure of body and spirit.

Then came a night when, with other dancers, she danced, with bosom bared, in a room up-stairs. There were two rich Englishmen present.

I went up to her, and said—

“Follow me. Do not be afraid. But come or beware!”

But again, she dared and defied me.