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II. TESTAMENT OF INNOCENCE LOST

Book of Genesis 3:6

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

Epistles I

1.

Dear Elwyn,

Now that I’m married, I can forgive you. I see things differently now. I

forgive you, my dear friend, my dear brother in the Lord.

Yours, Peachie McGowan

2.

From Elwyn James Parker to the Lord, then torn up into tiny little bits and discarded:

Make me not to want it. Make me to look at it and laugh. Take it away from me. Hide it from me in the cleft of a rock. Cover it from mine eyes. Harden my heart against it. Give me the victory over it. Make me pure again. How can I enter Your house in my vileness and shame? How can she? She is the devil. “Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.” Proverbs 30:20. Take her away from me. Hide her from mine eyes, O Lord. Amen.

3.

I forgive you, Elwyn. Marriage has doused the fire of my anger and given me time to reflect. I now have a clearer perspective on things. I forgive you, Elwyn, as well as Sister Cooper and Sister Morrisohn, for the part you played in ruining my wedding.

Sister Cooper turned the Faithful against me. She’s your grandmother and I mean no disrespect. She’s the one who started calling me “skinny nothing.” Someone that you know real well told me that she even called me “an harlot” in missionary meeting. She is just so much more perfect than me. Lucky her. With perspective, I see that she and her generation were able to live a perfect Christian life because they lived in an easier time. Work and then school and then church. They did not have TV. They were allowed to marry at 14 and 15 without a stigma. They were expected to marry young. I mean no disrespect, but Sister Cooper should ask herself why she got married so late. Was she too ugly? Or was she a miserable cow like she is now? Christians shouldn’t be miserable. In other words, don’t mess up my wedding just because you got married like twenty years later than everyone around you. No offense, Elwyn, but is she jealous because I’m light-skinned? Someone told me that she is very skin conscious. I’m not giving you any names, but you can trust my sources (you know who my mother-in-law is). I don’t have a problem with skin. I would have been just as happy marrying a dark-skinned man like you. If I had been in love with you, I mean. I’m not saying I didn’t like you at one time, but Barry is the man for me. You just have to learn to deal with it.

And Sister Morrisohn. Let me tell you about Sister Morrisohn. She has the nerve to pull rank on anybody? Do you know the woman was in jail? Do you know she stole Brother Morrisohn from his wife? I hear they used to do it right in the bedroom while Sister Glovine was there hanging on for her last days. She’s a sex maniac. That’s why Beverly Morrisohn hates her and is going to take her to court to win that fancy house she lives in. You’ll see. And she’ll win too. Sister Morrisohn is a jailbird. She’s well-dressed-up now with Brother Morrisohn’s money, but she’s still a tramp. I hear she’s a heavy drinker too. I have good sources. They’re people you know. She had the nerve—she and her Missionary Society sisters—to meet me and my mother at the bridal shop. She played up to my mother saying, “Oh, I was not a virgin either when I married Buford. If you’re not a virgin, you can’t wear white. Here’s a nice blue one. Blue is nice.” We already had a nice dress picked out, but my mother trying to do what’s right got all caught up and confused and I ended up with that blue dress. I hate my wedding pictures. I hate my wedding pictures, Elwyn, but I love my husband. How do you like that?

And you, dear friend. You were my best friend. I’m going to admit something secret here, so I trust you will destroy this letter after you’ve read it. I did love you at one time. I think around fourth grade. I thought you were cute. And again around eighth grade. Remember when we went to the youth prayer retreat at Camp Dilmore? Or was it up here in Lakeland that year? At any rate, it was the year our team came in second to the Jacksonville Fifth Street Faithful in the volleyball competition. Remember we beat the Orlando-Evans Faithful by two points in the tiebreak for second? I don’t even like sports that much, but I remember everything so clearly. I thought you were so cute in your white shorts. I prayed for you each time you went up to serve. You were the best server on the team that year and I believe my prayers had something to do with it. On the bus back to Miami, I wanted you to kiss me. I even held your hand while we talked. About music, I’m sure. BORING, and you did not kiss me. I don’t know what I would have done if you had kissed me. I was deep into you that night. I went to sleep with my head on your shoulder. You didn’t even put your arm around me. You were stronger than me as always. You didn’t feel it burning like I did, or you felt it but fought it off. But that was fine. I was talking to Barry at the time, so it turned out for the best.

After all the feelings and friendship we shared for all those years, Elwyn, you betrayed me. You insulted my husband at his own wedding. I knew you were jealous of him, but I didn’t think you’d go so far. You played boogie-woogie at our wedding. I know it’s called gospel. I know what gospel is, knucklehead. But you were just showing off as usual. Oh, everybody just loved it. You’re such a fine musician! But it was Barry’s wedding, not yours. You had no right. You had made a deal with him, remember? He was so upset. I tried to defend you. I said, “He meant nothing by it.” Barry said, “Yes, he did. He hates us. I bet he doesn’t give us a wedding gift.” Elwyn, I checked every gift. None from you. Barry was right. It hurt me so.

But I’m married now and happy and I forgive you. I always considered you so strong in the Lord. I envied your strength. What your childish, selfish performance at the wedding shows is that none of us is perfect.

Love, Peachie