Читать книгу Hope’s Daughters - R. Wayne Willis - Страница 85

Three women who met each other almost half a century ago on the campus of George Peabody College in Nashville reunited, this time bringing their spouses with them to a Turkish restaurant. Together their three marriages represented 128 years of lasting love. Joining them was one couple’s daughter and the daughter’s fiancé.

At one point one of the old married men quipped: “It would be a shame to deny this young couple the benefit of all the wisdom assembled here. Let’s each of us put into one word the secret of our marriage.”

The first to volunteer said “forgiveness.” Holding grudges, nursing old wounds, is malignancy in a marriage. His wife offered her one word, “sensitivity.” Stay attuned to what your beloved is thinking and feeling and needing.

A second married woman said “compromise.” Her husband contributed “devotion.” Total commitment to protecting and nurturing the relationship trumps everything else.

The third married man said “mutual-respect.” He hyphenated the word to conform to the game’s one word rule. His wife agreed: “respect.” She said, “We admire each other’s talent, knowledge, creativity, and pursuit of excellence. We are equally yoked in our own little mutual admiration society.”

The young unmarried couple was invited to participate: “Surely you don’t want to just be voyeurs—what do you two value most in your relationship?” She said “support.” They encourage each other and give each other a soft place to fall when life gets messy. He volunteered “awareness.” Pick up on the vibrations, the heart-sounds, of your beloved.

The eight values overlap. Taken as a whole they may give a pretty clear profile of real love—not the feeling of love, or the idea of love, but the dogged practice, day in and day out, of the behaviors that make love last.