Читать книгу Desire Collection: August 2017 Books 1 - 4 - Joss Wood, Rachel Bailey - Страница 13

Five

As Ellie played at her feet with plastic toys, Tate looked out her bedroom window to the tree-lined street below. Tate watched as Beck swung Shaw up onto his shoulders, the little boy laughing with delight. Sage was walking alongside Beck, and Jaeger stopped to close the wrought iron gate behind him. They were taking Shaw to his pre-K, Tate surmised. The Ballantyne siblings were a close-knit unit, something she and Kari had never managed to be.

She was, once again, alone. Tate looked down at Ellie’s dark head and smiled. Well, she wasn’t completely alone; for the next few weeks or so she had this precious little girl for company. Tate bit her lip, wondering if she’d ever see Shaw again. She wanted to be part of his life, but whether Linc would allow that was a tenuous possibility at best. However, there was one thing she did know beyond a shadow of a doubt. When she restored Ellie to Kari she’d be a constant and consistent presence throughout Ellie’s life, whether Kari wanted her to be or not.

Well, as constant and consistent as her travels and job allowed. Shaw and Ellie were her nephew and niece, the only family, apart from Kari, she had. She wanted a better, healthier relationship with them than she had with her sister and her mother.

The Ballantyne crew turned the corner, and Tate realized that it was a bit of a shock to realize how envious she was of them, of the deep love they shared. A part of her wanted to know what unconditional love felt like—how it felt to be supported, to have a backstop, a soft place to fall. Tate shoved her hands into her hair, frustrated with herself. These thoughts were dangerous and counterproductive. Besides, love’s favorite sport was to push her heart through a grinder.

“I handled that badly.”

Linc’s words danced over her skin, and her stomach quivered. As angry and hurt as she was, he still made her feel like she’d been plugged into a source of pure energy. Unable to face him, Tate sat down on the seat built into the window and watched the road below.

“I’m sorry. I was rude and dismissive and judgmental,” Linc stated.

Tate lifted her hand to rub the back of her neck and closed her eyes, wishing that he’d just go away. It would be so much easier if she could just wait for the cab in peace, if she could slip out of the door and avoid this confrontation. She realized that she’d hardly spent any time with him, but she was already so sick of him looking at her and seeing Kari.

Hell, he’d probably thought that he was kissing Kari. It was highly possible that his attraction to her had nothing to do with who she was and everything to do with him taking a walk down memory lane.

Out of the corner of her eye Tate watched as he walked past Ellie to sit beside her on the bench, lifting his ankle up onto his knee. “God, I’m exhausted.”

Tate felt his broad, warm hand on the back of her neck and turned her head to look at him. She wanted to pull away from his touch but his fingers pressing into the knots in her neck felt amazing. Not going anywhere, not going to pull away, her body told her stubborn brain.

“You must be exhausted, too.” Linc dug his fingers into the tight cords of her neck, and it took every ounce of determination she had not to moan from sheer pleasure. “Did you sleep last night?”

“Not much, no.”

“‘Me, either,” Linc admitted. “Let’s talk, Tate. And this time, let’s try not to kiss or yell at each other.”

They could try, but she didn’t know if they’d succeed. Because she still wanted that mouth on hers. If he tried to kiss her she didn’t think she could resist him. Embarrassingly, her brain had lost all control over her body...

“Okay.”

Linc dropped his hand and pulled his thigh up on the bench so that he could look at her. “I am sorry for earlier. As Jaeger pointed out after you left, I acted like an ass because I don’t like change.”

“And you don’t know me so you don’t feel comfortable leaving Shaw with me. It’s okay, I get it. It’s a big, bad world—I’ve seen most of it—and I’m thankful that you are a protective dad.”

“I appreciate that. It’s been just Shaw and me since Kari left.”

“Shaw and you and Jo,” Tate corrected.

Linc rolled his eyes. “At this moment she’s on my hit list, so I’m not talking about her. She did tell me, yesterday, that I should start looking for a new nanny, that she wanted to be a grandmother, not Shaw’s caregiver. I never thought that she’d pull this, though. Blackmailer.”

Tate heard the love under his frustration, but his anger was gone. Not sure what to say, she looked down at Ellie, who was babbling to a doll she’d found in the box of toys. “I’ve called a cab. It should be here soon. We’ll get out of your hair.”

“I think you should stay.”

Tate’s jerked, completely astonished. “You want me to stay?” She frowned. “To look after Shaw?”

Linc shrugged. “Maybe.” He held up his hand when she opened her mouth to protest. “Just listen, okay? I need a nanny and you need a place to stay. As you said, I don’t know you, and when it comes to Shaw, I’m very slow to trust. Your sister—”

“Messed with your head,” Tate finished his sentence for him. She shrugged. “I get it, she’s been messing with mine all my life. What else did she say about me?”

Tate saw his hesitation and waited for him to speak. “Nothing much more than what I already mentioned. She didn’t speak much about you except to say that you were jealous of her.”

Tate rolled her eyes. “As if.” She looked him in the eye, desperate to get her point across. “I am not my sister. I didn’t go to college, but, over the years, I managed to study part-time to get a degree in world history. I did miss many family events, but I also wasn’t invited to many. I like being free to do my own thing. That’s why having Ellie to look after is a shock. Kari was flat out lying when she said that I quit jobs and end relationships on a whim—I’ve had the same job for the past six years, and I haven’t had a significant relationship to quit, on a whim or not.”

Tate just stopped herself from telling him that keeping her distance and remaining independent were essential to her. Too much information, Harper.

“Oh, and my mom didn’t contact you because Kari told her that you threatened to have her arrested if any of her family tried to reach out. She convinced my mom that you had the power and money to do that.”

Linc gripped the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “God, she’s a piece of work. I did offer to let Kari have visitation rights with Shaw, but she wasn’t interested. But if your mom wanted to meet Shaw, I’d make that happen. Supervised, but it could happen.”

Tate’s heart bumped against her rib cage at his generosity. “Thank you, but she died a couple of years ago.”

Linc squeezed her knee. “I’m sorry, Tate. I wish I’d known...” His voice trailed off. “Anyway, I was wrong to judge you by your sister’s actions but she...” Linc rubbed the back of his head, looking uncomfortable. “She ripped the rug out from under me.”

“You really loved her,” she stated, the familiar mixture of regret, guilt and sadness rolling around in her belly.

“I loved what thought I was getting,” Linc gruffly admitted.

“Which was?”

“A complete family, my family within a family. She told me that she wanted to be a mom, a wife, my partner. I thought she would be the person I could come home to, normality after a crazy day.”

Tate raised her eyebrows. “You associated Kari with normality?”

Linc grimaced. “Very briefly. Anyway,” he said, moving the conversation off Kari and the past, “getting back to what we were discussing, you moving in...” He took a deep breath. “Stay for a week, and I’ll work from home. I’ll help you with Ellie, and you can spend some time with Shaw. If, at the end of the week, I feel comfortable handing Shaw over to you to look after, I’ll go back to work and we’ll do a trade. I’ll feed and house you and pay for the PI, if you look after Shaw until I find a full-time nanny.”

Tate considered his offer, quickly running through her options. It was a fair offer, she acknowledged, except for... “I want to see Shaw in the future, I don’t want to walk away and never see him again.”

Linc’s expression softened. “I can make that happen.”

Tate nodded her thanks. “Feed and house Ellie and me, and I’ll pay for the PI myself.”

“He’s expensive, Tate,” Linc protested.

“I have money, Linc, and nothing is more important to me than restoring Ellie to Kari,” she replied, her tone firm.

“Okay, deal. But what if you find Kari, and she refuses to take Ellie back?”

Her heart lurched. God, she couldn’t think about that. Not now. “She will. I’ll make her.”

“I hope you’re right,” Linc said. “But, because we are talking about Kari, maybe you should have a plan B.”

Tate heard the insistent horn of a taxi and looked out of the window, seeing the yellow cab outside. She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, deal. One week and we’ll reevaluate.”

Linc placed a hand on her shoulder as he stood up, squeezing gently. “Thanks, Tate. I’ll go down and tell the taxi he’s not needed, and I’ll bring your bags back up.”

She pulled her knees up to her chest, thinking that she shouldn’t ask the question burning her brain. But she couldn’t stop the words. She had to know. “Linc...?”

He placed his hand on the doorjamb and turned. “Yeah?”

“When you kissed me last night. Were you thinking about Kari?”

Linc released a sound that sounded like a half snort, a half laugh. “No, that was all you, Tate Harper.” His dark gray eyes dropped from her face to her chest, and back up to her face again. Then his gaze lingered on her mouth, and his eyes heated as his hands curled into fists. Tate thought that he might be trying to stop himself from reaching for her.

Or was that wishful thinking?

“It was all you,” Linc repeated his words, his voice sounding like sandpaper. “Only you.”

Linc disappeared, and Tate heard him heading down the stairs. “Damn, Ellie.”

At the sound of her name, Ellie looked up and gifted her with a gummy grin.

“How the hell am I going to resist him?”

The child, not understanding the question, threw her doll at Tate’s legs.

* * *

He was living with another Harper woman, Linc grumbled to himself a couple of days later, running down the stairs from his home office to open the front door.

God help him. Kari had been, generally, a pain in his ass, but Tate, well, she was trouble on a whole new level. Because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get her off his mind.

And he didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Linc looked at his watch and thought that he’d known her for less than three days and every minute they were together he fought the urge to take her to bed. Her perfume was in his nose, the memory of her smooth skin was on his hands, and the image of those warm cognac brown eyes, foggy with passion, were burned into his retinas. He was so screwed, metaphorically speaking. Sad as that was.

Stop thinking about sleeping with her, Ballantyne. Think about business and the fact that you are less than useless working from home, mostly because you are so easily distracted by a pair of long, sexy legs and that that tumble of long, wavy hair you want to sink your hands into.

He bit back an oath. Work was piling up, and he couldn’t leave Beck to carry the load for much longer. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right. Jo was having a ball with Gary, and Linc knew that he’d lost her as his full-time caregiver; he had to find someone to look after Shaw on a permanent basis.

Tate seemed to be doing okay, he reluctantly admitted. She and Shaw seemed to click, helped by the fact that Tate was able to spend hours with him in the afternoons, building forts and racing cars, Ellie close at hand. After sampling his runny scrambled eggs on day one at Frustration Central, she kicked him out of the kitchen, cheerfully stating that she’d cook. She quickly and with the minimum of fuss, whipped up meals that both Shaw and Ellie could eat and then tossed together a more adult meal the two of them could share while exchanging polite conversation and pretending that they weren’t imagining each other naked. So far he’d eaten a Thai curry and a pork-and-beans dish from the deep South. If she wasn’t a Harper, and he didn’t want her in his bed, he’d probably employ her on the spot as his housekeeper/nanny.

Lusting after the nanny, such a cliché. And if that thought wasn’t enough to dampen his raging libido, then he should remember that she was the last person that he should be interested in. She was a nomad, she’d only be around until she reunited Ellie with Kari, and then she’d shoot off to parts unknown.

She was also his ex’s sister, and he’d been burned by one Harper blonde before. Did he really want to risk repeating that crappy experience?

If it meant getting her naked then...maybe. But probably not.

God, he was arguing with himself, a new low.

Linc opened the ornate wooden door and glared at Reame Jepsen, his oldest, closest friend and owner of the best investigative company in the city. His green eyes sparkling with amusement, Reame lifted his eyebrows and gave him a knowing look.

“What’s up, dude? You look pissed,” Reame drawled, walking into the hallway, taking a moment to look at the stained glass windows on either side of the door. “God, I love this house. Always have.”

Reame was his one friend who knew him from BC—Before Connor. They’d both lived in the same run-down apartment building in Queens, but, somehow, their friendship survived his move to Manhattan when Jo landed the job of Connor’s housekeeper, his subsequent adoption by one of the wealthiest men in the country and his very privileged lifestyle.

Reame had no idea how much Linc admired him; he’d grown up poor, joined the military, served with distinction in the Special Forces and established one of the most respected security and investigative companies in the city.

Reame said that he couldn’t have done it without Connor’s, and then Linc’s, business, but Linc disagreed. His buddy never gave up and never gave in. He would be exactly where he was, with or without Ballantyne business.

“You’re wearing your pissed-off-with-women expression,” Reame stated, after they exchanged a one-armed, super brief hug.

“Thanks for coming over,” Linc told him as they walked deeper into the house, heading for the downstairs family room. Reame shrugged off his thanks, and Linc knew that, like his brothers, Reame would move mountains for him if he needed him to.

“So, who’s the woman?” Reame asked, not allowing Linc to change the subject.

Knowing that his friend wouldn’t let the subject die, Linc pushed frustrated fingers through his hair. “Kari’s sister.”

Reame’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Satan’s bride’s sister is here? Why?”

“Long story, we’ll go into it,” Linc said, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s actually going to be your client... I’m just doing the introduction.”

Reame shook his head. “Nope. Not happening. I’m not interested.”

“Hear her out, Reame. She’s not like Kari.” Linc hesitated. “At least I don’t think she is.”

Reame groaned, looking appalled. His fist rocketed into Linc’s shoulder. “Are you freaking nuts? What is it with you and these Harper girls?”

“God knows,” Linc replied, rubbing his shoulder. “Just listen to her, please?”

“Okay.” Reame folded his arms over his chest. “But if I don’t like her or what she has to say, or think she’s trying to scam you, I’m not taking her case.”

“Fair enough,” Linc said as they moved farther into the house. They half jogged down the stairs leading to the kitchen and great room. Linc’s eyes scanned the room and saw Tate standing by the doors to the garden, looking at the barren winter garden. Her head resting on Ellie’s, her hand was patting the little girl’s back in a rhythmic, soothing motion. She kept saying that she wasn’t mommy material, but for someone who had been thrust into the role a few days earlier, she was doing fine.

And she looked stunning. Unlike the women he dated who looked effortlessly chic and glamorous, Tate looked relaxed. She wore tall laced-up combat boots and gray over-the-thigh socks, and there was a gap of a few inches between her socks and flowy skirt. Her rust-colored sweater showed off one creamy shoulder, and her long wavy hair tumbled down her back.

Linc looked at Reame, saw his hell-yeah, appreciative look and jammed him in the side with his elbow. His pal nodded slowly before tossing Linc an amused look. “So...wow,” he said, sotto voce.

“Tell me about it,” Linc muttered. He called Tate’s name and watched as she turned around and gave him a quick, hesitant smile. Her gaze moved on to Reame, and her eyes widened, a common reaction. Reame had a Turkish mother and a Danish father, and the combination of olive skin and light green eyes and big, muscular body, resulted in appreciative looks and flirty smiles. Reame’s power over women had never bothered Linc before, but seeing Tate’s reaction to his friend pissed him off.

Big-time.

“Tate, Reame Jepsen, the PI I told you about. Reame, Tate Harper. Potential client.”

He made a big deal of emphasizing the word client. Reame had a cast-iron rule about not sleeping with, dating or having a friendship with his clients. Not that he’d allow Reame to make a move on Tate; he’d rip his old friend’s face off first.

God, jealous much, Ballantyne?

Tate moved toward them and held out her hand for Reame to shake. As Tate got closer, Linc saw the tears in the baby’s blue eyes, the track marks on her chubby cheeks. Ellie, noticing him, leaned forward, waving her arms at him, silently asking him to take her. Linc obliged and cuddled her close, holding her head to his chest. “What’s the matter, honey?” he crooned.

Linc raised his eyebrow at Tate who shrugged. “I have no idea,” she replied, frustrated. “She’s clean, has had a bottle and she ate her lunch.”

“This is a new house, new people, and she’s probably feeling a little scared,” Linc said.

To his surprise, Tate’s eyes filled with tears. “I think so, too.” She hauled in a deep breath. “That’s why I was rocking her.”

“It’s all you can do.” Linc nodded. “As much as she wants, when she wants it.”

Tate sucked in a breath, nodded once and sent him a grateful look. She was holding up well, Linc thought, impressed. Most of the women he knew, with the exception of Jo and Sage—and Jaeger’s fiancée, Piper—would be whining about how having to look after a baby interfered with yoga or Pilates or a pedicure.

But Tate just sucked it up and did what she needed to do. He admired her for that.

“Let’s have coffee,” Linc suggested, suddenly uncomfortable. It was one thing to lust after Tate, but he was playing with fire if he started liking her, too.

“I’ll get on that,” Tate offered, “since you have your hands full.”

“Let’s talk while you do that,” Reame suggested, walking to the counter and pulling out a stool. “I don’t have that much time, and it sounds like you have a story to tell.”

Tate nodded. “I understand that you located Kari four years ago after she disappeared?”

“Yeah.”

“I need you to find her again,” Tate insisted, and Linc heard the bitterness in her voice. She sent Reame a determined look. “Find her so that I can take Ellie back to her, so that I can talk some damn sense into her. Find her so that I can tell her that she cannot dump her children whenever she feels like it!”

Tate closed her eyes as if she were suddenly realizing that she was shouting. She pulled in a long breath, and her chest lifted and fell. When she opened her eyes again, her anger, her frustration and her embarrassment were visible. She sent Reame an imploring look. “Please, just find her. For Ellie. She needs her mom.”

Reame looked from Tate to Linc and back to Tate again. He nodded once and held out his hand for Tate to shake. Her small hand disappeared into his, and Reame covered the back of his hand with his other, his face serious. “I’ll find her, Tate. I promise.”

He would, Linc thought, feeling relieved. His buddy never made promises he couldn’t keep. Linc’s eyes met his, and Reame gave him a sharp nod, as if to reinforce his promise to Tate. Then Reame’s expression changed, and amusement jumped back into his green eyes and lifted the corners of his mouth.

Tate turned her back to them, busy with the coffee machine, and Linc raised his eyebrows at Reame. “What?” he mouthed.

Reame gave him a thumbs-up before lifting his index finger and pulling it across his throat. Linc quickly interpreted his gestures. Tate was okay, and he was in so much trouble.

Which was nothing he hadn’t already realized.

* * *

When Linc returned to the kitchen after seeing Reame out, Tate sent him a weary smile. She was exhausted; partly because she felt drained from talking about Kari and the little she knew of her life but mostly because she’d spent the previous night thinking about Linc and their volcano-hot kiss.

“I need to collect Shaw soon,” Linc told her. “His pre-K isn’t far from here. Do you want to walk with me? It’s supposed to snow soon, so we’d better hustle.”

Tate looked out of the window to the gray, freezing day. “Have you heard of a cab? A car?”

Linc smiled. “I need fresh air or else I get twitchy. Come on, don’t be a girl.”

“I am a girl,” Tate told him, and his gaze darkened. Yeah, when he looked at her with male appreciation in his eyes, she felt intensely feminine and super sexy.

Dropping her eyes, Tate looked from Linc to Ellie, sitting on the carpet at her feet, and back again. “How far is far? Will Ellie be okay in the cold?”

“I’ll find Shaw’s old snowsuit and I’ll carry her. She’ll be fine.”

Tate nodded and stood up, feeling Linc’s hot gaze on her legs. She raised her eyes and caught his smile, the molten desire in his expression. “As much as I appreciate what you’re wearing, I strongly suggest that you put on a few more layers or else you will freeze,” he told her, his voice bone-dry.

Tate felt her cheeks warm. “I usually follow the sun. I don’t have that many winter clothes.”

“You look good,” Linc murmured, his voice husky.

Tate shoved an agitated hand into her hair, wishing that he’d stop looking at her mouth. Even better, she wished he’d do something with her mouth, like kiss it stupid. Their eyes clashed and held, and Tate swallowed, wishing his big, strong arms were around her, that she could taste his breath, count each bristle on his chin. She wanted him to rip her clothes off her, to undo the buttons of his shirt and push the fabric aside so she could touch his chest, explore the hard ridges of his stomach.

“When you look at me like that, it takes every inch of willpower to stop myself from doing exactly what you are asking for.”

Tate touched her top lip with the tip of her tongue. “What am I asking? Bearing in mind that I didn’t say a word.”

“You don’t need to speak. Your eyes say it all. You want to see me naked. And more.”

Tate didn’t bother to play games by denying his very accurate observation. She just met his direct gaze and nodded. “You want to see me naked, too.”

“And do more,” Linc rasped, jamming his hands into the pockets of his pants and rocking on his heels. “A lot more.”

Tate groaned and had to stop herself from flinging herself against his chest and doing what biology was urging them to do. “This is insane!” she muttered. “Do we not have enough to deal with without this crazy thing zinging between us?”

“Seems not.”

“We shouldn’t be attracted to each other!” Tate cried.

“Yet, we are.”

Tate nodded. “But we don’t have to act on it.”

“We did the other night,” Linc pointed out.

“Only because we both thought that I’d be moving on in the morning! I would never have let that go so far if I thought I was staying.”

“Honey, you didn’t even hear Ellie crying. I did.”

Tate glared at him. “I would have. At some point.” She pulled in a long breath and raked her hair back from her face. “Linc, it was a momentary madness. It won’t happen again.”

Linc sent her a hot, frustrated look. “Want to test that theory? I think that once we start, we won’t be able to stop, not again.”

Dammit, how was she supposed to resist him? Tate didn’t know, but her gut told her that she should. Instinctively, she knew that, while sleeping with Linc would be a delightful way to pass the time, the consequences of their actions would be huge. What those consequences were, she couldn’t quite discern, but her instinct was telling her that they would be dire.

Feminine intuition aside, falling into a fling with a hot guy should be the last item on her agenda. She had to look after a little girl who was pining for her mom; she had to find her sister and reconnect mother and daughter. She had a career to return to, places to visit, people to meet.

Living with Linc, sleeping with Linc, would make this situation too intimate, too much like the fairy tales she’d never believed in. He was like this house, stable, solid and rooted. He was Manhattan royalty, successfully established and easily juggling his roles as a brilliant businessman and an excellent single father.

Whereas she was a transient, someone who could pack light but who carried far too much emotional baggage. She ran from relationships, from commitment, from anything and anyone demanding that she dip below the surface.

Her attraction to Linc scared her, but the fact that she liked his mind as much as she liked his body terrified her even more.

It’s imperative you keep your distance, Harper.

Tate bent down and picked Ellie up. “Let’s walk, Linc. Maybe if we get to know each other better, we’ll realize that we don’t, actually, like each other, and this crazy attraction between us will disappear.”

“Here’s hoping,” Linc said, pushing his hands in the pockets of his pants. “But I think we’re kidding ourselves if we think this is going away.”