Читать книгу The Fire House on Honeysuckle Street - Rachel Dove - Страница 10

Lucy pulled Xander along the platform edge as best she could, whilst juggling her suitcase on wheels and heavy holdall. Iain would be annoyed that she had taken his favourite gym bag, but at this point that would be the least of her worries.

‘Mum, what about school? It’s illegal to play truant. Mr Elphick told us last week when Billy went to Mallorca but his mum lied and said he had diarrhoea.’

She smiled down at her plain-speaking son, trying to keep the worry from her face, the anxiety from her voice. He would pick up on it and the last thing either of them needed was a meltdown at the train station. He had pulled his ear defenders off one tiny ear to listen to her, and she could already see that he was tense; his hand pulling on the fingers of the other, his eyes darting from side to side, searching for unknown and unseen dangers.

‘You’ll only miss one day, sweetheart, and then it’s the summer holidays. Your teacher said that your class was only going to be watching videos all day anyway. I brought your iPad for the train.’

‘Lego Movie?’ he asked hopefully, and she nodded.

‘Yep, and I downloaded Lego Batman too.’

Xander smiled, and she felt the relief wash over her. Luckily, Xander loved trains, so the journey wouldn’t be too much of a trial. Thank God for J.K. Rowling. King’s Cross would have been impossible without Harry Potter, but now with the shop there, Xander had made it to the train doors unscathed, a new Hedwig stuffed owl in his hand. The travelling wouldn’t be the problem. It was what was waiting for her at the other end that worried her. What the hell was she going to tell Xander? Would he cope with all the changes? She had packed all of his notes, his medical letters, his medication, and his repeat prescription slips, so they could get his sleep medication, but the upheavals to his routine would still be immense. She shuddered at the thought, but pushed on, till they were sitting on the train, near the doors and toilets. She stashed their luggage on the racks behind them, putting her oversized grey handbag on the seat next to her. She sat backwards, facing Xander who was sitting looking out of the window, humming to himself. She saw a few passengers giving him a sideways glance, and she tutted loudly at one man who didn’t hide his judgement. She motioned for Xander to take off his ear defenders, and passed him the iPad, his soft cushioned earphones already plugged in. It had a full charge, and the charger in her bag was on hand, along with a spare, just in case. Worst case scenario he could watch Netflix on her smartphone. He was halfway through a documentary on global warming, so he could watch that, or draw or read. She had even bought a paperback for herself, a delightful romance book that she had picked up in the station bookshop. She had heard some of the other school mums talking about it at the gates, from a distance of course. In another world, she could have shared it with them, been friends perhaps.

Lucy never usually got much time to herself, but she was hoping that this, as well as many other things, would change now. Xander put his headphones on and settled down in his seat, his coat now discarded and used as a pillow. She had felt bad making him wear it on this July day, but it had been both a good disguise for the neighbours and a means of transporting the coat to their destination. He was wearing his weighted jacket too, and she decided to give him a minute before asking him to take it off. Maybe when the train had set off would be better. Nowhere to run then in the event of a tantrum. She took off her own coat, laying it on the seat next to her. She had reserved all four seats, with the table, so she could relax in the knowledge that no one was going to crowd them and they could spread out a little. Xander was engrossed in his iPad, and she took out her new mobile, tapping out a text that they were now on the train. She got a text straight back, and smiled at the reply before slipping it back into her bag.

‘Excuse me, is this yours?’ A deep voice came from the side of her. It sounded like it had come down from the heavens, as high in direction as it was deep in tone. She could see a flash of white in the corner of her eye. Xander’s new owl.

‘Hedwig!’ Xander shouted, reaching forward to grasp the toy, his fingers opening and closing like pincers. Lucy winced as a past memory came to mind, and as she watched her son cuddle his new snow-white companion, she wished for the train to leave, fast, and spirit them both away from here, and the memories she was trying so hard to forget.

‘Why does he even need that stupid thing? He’ll only lose it.’

Iain’s whining was already in full flow, and they had only just gotten onto the bus to the airport, the one that took you from the long-stay car parks to the actual airport itself. They were juggling cases and bags, and Xander was sitting next to her on the seat, backpack strapped to his shoulders, playing with a tangle toy. One of many that she had bought and stashed in her case, not that she would tell Iain that. A bored-looking couple at the side of them looked across to see what Xander was holding, and she gave them a pointed look as if to say, ‘Mind your own beeswax,’ and turned to her husband. He looked like he was chewing a bee or two himself.

‘He needs it, for his anxiety. Airports make him nervous,’ she hissed. ‘It’s only a toy, I’ll keep an eye on it.’

‘Bloody waste of money if you ask me,’ he chuntered on, his jaunty holiday panama hat making him look all the more curmudgeonly atop his sour face. ‘Half the stuff you buy him doesn’t get used.’

Not true, but Iain had never let the truth get in the way of a good whinge and moan.

‘Really,’ she said, monotone, watching Xander watch the planes as they took off overhead. His fingers ever moving, bending and reshaping his toy. It kept him calm. She almost wished she had one herself. A large one, that she could tie around her husband and the nearest car park meter. ‘Bit like your fishing gear then, and the model airplane in the garage? Perhaps we should sell those, then we will have more money for stuff to help our son cope, eh? This toy cost less than a fancy coffee, Iain.’

He looked out of the window like a petulant child, taking a swig of his large extra hot no foam rip-off, and said nothing else till they got to the airport. The gulf between them was getting wider than ever, and she’d hated it at first. Now, she was just beginning to hate him. Where was the man she married, the one who danced around the room with her, holding a positive pee stick? That Iain was gone, replaced by this bitter, twisted, work-driven man. As they stepped down off the bus, cases in hand, she tried to stay positive and lock her own snark away. This holiday had been hard work to pay for, and she had planned everything down to the last detail, so she was going to go for it.

This holiday was more than just Xander’s first holiday abroad with his family – it might just be his last unless things improved. Make or break, as the cliché went. She was determined to save her marriage, and their father–son relationship. Here, all together, they might just pull it off.

‘Xander,’ Iain shouted, drawing attention their way. ‘Pick up your bloody toy, now!’

Lucy sighed and, putting her shiny optimistic face on, picked up the toy and took her son’s trembling hand.