Читать книгу Test Your Baby - Rachel Federman - Страница 8

The bright side of the endless fatigue of the early months of parenting is that when you’re up at 5am every day you really make the most of the mornings. And the mid-mornings. And the late mornings. And the early afternoons. And the fact that an hour seems to go by . . . so . . . incredibly . . . slowly. Enjoy these Zen moments. Babies keep you tethered to the present – there’s really no other choice! There’s no time for daydreaming while staring out of the window or dwelling on the past. You’re lucky if you can find a moment to snap a picture for a baby book. Let’s find out what life is like with your whiz-kid in training right now. It’s hard to imagine, but as plodding as it now feels, it will all go by in a blur.

1. When it comes to your daily schedule, does your baby prefer:

Sticking to a routine?

Unexpected visits and spontaneous trips?

A mix of structure and spontaneity?

Reading lots of books on time management and taking the best practices from each?

Sleep. Eat. Play. Repeat?

2. Which part of your baby book was hardest to fill out?

The first time he sat up (he never sits still for long enough)

The first day home from hospital (I was asleep)

A hand print (he didn’t like the feel of the non-toxic stamp pad)

The first smile (haven’t seen one yet)

Favourite games (he’s chess-obsessed and I’m still figuring out how the pieces move)

3. In which position does your baby most like to be held?

The rugby ball

The cradle

The two-arm upright chest hug

The over-the-shoulder snuggle

Out facing the world

4. How does your baby indicate she no longer wants to be held?

Whine

Whimper

Scream

Groin kick (or, in official Baby Karate lingo, ‘Kin Geri’)

Polite request for change of scenery

5. Using the Volcanic Explosivity Index developed in 1982 (adapted for your child), when do eruptions tend to be greatest?

Mealtimes

Naptimes

Company overstaying their welcome

Wanted the blue spoon not the green spoon

No discernible pattern

6. Which law does your baby best dramatise?

The law of inertia

The law of gravity

The law against trespassing

Murphy’s Law

The law of super-long naps on days you are in a rush to get somewhere

7. Which task is hardest to accomplish when taking care of your baby?

Changing her nappy

Feeding her

Getting her dressed

Getting her undressed

Not going crazy because you feel as though you are getting absolutely nothing done