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Show the Power of Personal Example

What is the best way to help others? In my opinion, the best way is to lead by example. Setting examples is an approach that never fails when it is based on close and personal experiences. Nothing beats personal testimony. There is a compelling reason: facts do not lie, but words often do. He who does not practice what he preaches is a teacher to no one.

"How I did it" is the basis of this book. It is not based on "how I was told to do it.” For this reason, it is practical and non-theoretical. Teaching you to help me help others means I have learned from experience.

You've read enough theory books; the aim of this book will make you discover how to implement them.

In my years of experience as a coach, I have found that teaching by example helps my clients achieve better results. I've found out that it’s not what I know or do as a coach, but how I influence my clients.

This is what I call the "Principle of Conscious Coaching." It is learning by example and understanding through direct contact. At the other extreme is an arrogant coach who explains principles that he does not apply to his own life and who does not come across as an excellent example.

Being a "conscious coach" is much more powerful than being a "certified coach."

Many times when a client asks me how to deal with issues, I ask him to show me his schedule from last year; and then I can make a guess – with little or no margin of error – what his future will be like. It's easy. Everything - the facts, activities, and tasks are like seeds that will sprout in the short to medium term. I do not charge clients for guessing their future because it is too easy, I can give that away as a gift.

I charge my clients to help them invent the future they desire which is much better. As you can imagine, inventing is the best way to know - for sure - what’s going to happen.

Our life is the result of many decisions and actions we have taken before, and also the result of decisions and actions we never took!

When I’m coaching my clients, example has a higher value. They see what their coach does, and not what he says.

For example: if a coach advises his client to read more, but the client does not see books in the coach’s office (except perhaps for the Yellow Pages), what would the client think? Will he read more?

Another real life example: would you let an obese nutritionist advise you on your diet? I assure you there are many obese nutritionists!

It’s not what we say that will convince clients; it’s what we show them.

Coaches encourage people to dare undertake an exciting project that matches their values, requiring them to be creative, passionate, disciplined, persistent, human, scholarly, patient, helpful, independent, and free. These are what coaches teach their clients, nothing else.

All of these values and professional habits are the elements that will convince clients, not the thousand words in advertisements. It is not enough to know a lot about their field of specialisation or to have a long list of diplomas and certificates. What truly matters is that they are able to apply their knowledge and be a living testimony of what they believe in.

Degrees and qualifications, while still necessary, make no difference and do not guarantee any career success. They can even be counterproductive when arguing for a promotion. Clients are not interested in paper work, they look for results.

The best advertisement for a coach or for a professional counsellor is himself.

His life is his sales brochure.

What he is and how he goes about doing things is the measure of his professional worth. I once had a client from my practice whose turn it was to be certified as a coach. He told me that every thought and action of his private life went through the question: Can I explain to my clients what I think, say and do today? If the answer was yes, he kept going; if it runs to the contrary, it corrected itself. That's what I call "making your private life public.” Brilliant!

Words can convince, but like I said, nothing beats personal example. Let’s be the person we wish to see in the world, not who we think we should be, said Mr. Gandhi: Be the change you want to see in the world.