Читать книгу The Lovin' Ain't Over for Women with Cancer - Ralph Alterowitz - Страница 26

Since the day I told him I had breast cancer, he hasn’t touched me.

Deborah

The “R” word. Many women do not want to even think it. But it exists. One woman who was single was worried about how her boyfriend would behave after her mastectomy. She did not think she could handle the rejection she expected, and was preparing to end the relationship so she would not run the risk of being rejected.

Janice told the sex counselor that when she came home from the hospital and began to get undressed in the bedroom, her husband was there. All of a sudden she felt rather warm and nausea attacked her. Her mind was in a jumble. Would he walk out? (He didn’t.)

Debra came home from the hospital and went to lie down. Her husband told her he had to leave town on a business trip. Although she said okay, she thought, “Why did he have to go today? He owns his business and controls the schedule.” Her next thought was that he didn’t want to be with her.

Some women may feel rejection even when it does not exist. It’s easy to over-interpret hesitation in your partner’s voice, a look to the side when you are undressed, or to sense that he wants to pull away when he sees your unclothed body.

The anticipation of rejection can loom large when it comes to sexual activity. Fearing the partner’s reaction to the scars can cause the woman to isolate herself, mentally as well as physically, to avoid getting into a sexual situation. An extended length of time since a couple was physically intimate compounds the problem. Resuming sex after a hiatus can be stressful. Unless the partners discuss the issues before resuming sex, sex is less likely to be satisfactory.