Читать книгу Night Talk - Rebecca Daniels - Страница 9

Kristin stood in the church foyer waiting for her cue. She glanced down at the gaudy tissue-paper bouquet in her hand and steeled herself against a wave of nausea. Of course, tomorrow she would be holding the real thing—a spray of pale pink roses and baby’s breath—and probably feeling even worse.

Her gaze shifted to the long center aisle leading to the altar and she felt her stomach turn again. How was she ever going to make it down that walkway without tripping, fainting or throwing up?

“Just breathe,” she reminded herself aloud, drawing in a deep breath. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t a nervous, fidgety person. She’d always prided herself on the ability to keep a cool head and steady hand. But a stranger had come into her life and changed all that, a stranger who had her edgy and uneasy and seeing danger around every corner.

Wasn’t it supposed to be the bride who got the jitters and the maid of honor who calmed her down?

Kristin turned around, watching her sister as she talked with Ted’s father. With her sparkling eyes and radiant smile, Cindy looked anything but nervous. In fact, Kristin couldn’t remember seeing her sister looking more beautiful, or more serene.

Which was only the way it should be. If there was one person on this planet who deserved to be happy, it was Cindy.

Cindy had barely been out of high school when their parents had died. Not many young women would have welcomed the responsibility of a thirteen-year-old sister, but Cindy had been determined that the two of them stay together. She had worked hard to make a home for them, and later, when Kristin had considered foregoing college because of the financial hardship it represented, Cindy wouldn’t hear of it. She’d insisted Kristin apply for every scholarship available, and what they didn’t cover, the money Cindy earned waiting tables in the evenings after a full day at her job with the Los Angeles Probation Department did.

Which was why Kristin didn’t want to do anything to spoil Cindy’s wedding. One way or another she was going to do this, she had to—for Cindy.

“For Cindy,” she whispered, taking courage from the words.

Her gaze shifted to Jake Hayes as he stood in his position to the left of Ted. Thinking about how rude she’d been to him made her feel queasy all over again. He’d been friendly and pleasant and she’d practically cut him off at the knees.

He was watching the wedding planner, listening to her instructions and moving as she prompted him. He really did seem nice—not that she was surprised. Ted had described him as a good guy. Under normal circumstances she probably would have enjoyed getting to know him. The problem was, these weren’t normal circumstances. Things hadn’t been normal in her life for a very long time. Still, she hadn’t intended to be impolite. It was just that despite all that Ted had said about him, to her he was a stranger, and the grim fact of her life was that strangers terrified her.

“That’s your cue, dear.”

The loud clapping sound had her looking up.

“Hello? Are you listening?”

“Oh, uh, y-yes,” she stammered, feeling her cheeks flush red.

“That’s your cue,” the wedding planner said again. “Start walking now.”

“Y-yes,” she stuttered again. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

Flustered and embarrassed, she clutched the paper bouquet tightly in her hands and took a few hesitant steps forward.

“No, no, no,” the woman said, shaking her head, marching up the aisle toward her. “You’re not trudging through mud. Try and smooth it out a little, dear. Nice and easy.”

Kristin watched as the wedding planner demonstrated, then on stiff, wooden legs, Kristin tried again. She didn’t think her awkward, wobbling gait was any better, but she did the best she could. She felt ridiculous and terribly self-conscious, and without having to look, she could feel Jake’s gaze burning through her, turning the narrow aisle into an endless corridor of embarrassment. It wasn’t until she’d finally reached the end and slipped into her spot alongside the altar that she actually dared to glance up. Almost instantly, Jake’s gaze caught hers and he gave her a broad smile. She nodded stiffly in response, a move that only made her cringe even more.

“Pull yourself together,” she muttered. She was acting as though she’d never been around a man before, clumsy and ungainly.

But when she looked up and caught sight of Cindy as she started down the aisle, she suddenly forgot about being embarrassed or uncomfortable. It was only the wedding rehearsal but her sister looked radiant and Kristin felt her eyes sting with tears. This was Cindy’s time to shine and she was determined nothing was going to get in the way of that—not her problems, not her inhibitions….

Her gaze slid to Jake Hayes.

And certainly not her trouble with strangers.

Jake watched the wedding planner and waited for his cue. It would be all downhill from here on out. The mock ceremony was over and all he had to do now was follow Ted and Cindy back up the aisle and out of the church. Piece of cake. Although with Kristin on his arm he wasn’t expecting it to be particularly pleasant. But she would only have to tolerate him just long enough to make it out of the church. After that, he would be more than happy to stay out of her way.

For the life of him he couldn’t figure out why she seemed to dislike him so much. After all, they were virtually strangers—at least he thought so. She didn’t know him well enough to dislike him. Granted, he wasn’t the most charming guy in the world, but it usually took a woman a little longer to find him annoying.

Of course, his paranoia made him wonder if Kristin’s attitude toward him had anything to do with what had happened three years ago, either with the shootings, the task force or his resignation from the police department. Had someone said something to her about any of it? But common sense told him that wasn’t the case. For whatever reason, the woman had taken an instant dislike to him and he just had to accept it.

When the signal came, he was ready and moved slowly into the aisle. Looking at Kristin as he offered her his arm, he expected to see nothing but ice in those clear brown eyes of hers, so he was taken aback when he didn’t. In fact, her face was full of emotion. Could it be the Ice Queen wasn’t so icy after all?

Her hand on his arm felt warm as they moved together and he could feel the slight brush of her body along his as they walked. He wasn’t sure what had brought about the change in her, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Emotion had a way of softening her beautiful features and frankly he liked the effect.

Still, he had to admit, her transformation had left him feeling a bit unsettled. He wouldn’t have pegged her as the sentimental type. Weddings had a way of getting to people, though. Even he had felt a tug of emotion and this had only been the rehearsal. And it was probably that same sentimentality that had him turning to Kristin and giving conversation another try.

“That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” he whispered as they made their way up the aisle. “And the good news is that we only have to do it one more time.”

“But the bad news is, the next time we’ll be doing it in front of a church full of people,” she pointed out darkly.

“You have a point there,” he acknowledged. Since she hadn’t snapped his head off, he boldly pushed on. “Feeling a little anxious?”

“Only about tripping, fainting or throwing up,” she groaned. “Or any combination of those three.”

“That could be a little embarrassing,” he agreed with good humor. “But you did great this time. There’s no reason to think tomorrow will be any different.”

“No?” She released his arm as they reached the large double doors leading outside and tossed the paper bouquet aside. “Maybe you’d like to try it in four-inch heels and carrying a handful of flowers.”

Just like that it was back—that hard edge, the sharp words—and he was surprised at how disappointed he felt. “Somehow I don’t think they’d go too well with my tux.”

She didn’t so much as blink, let alone crack a smile. She simply turned and left.

He stood in the open doorway and watched as she ran down the steps and across the drive toward Ted and Cindy. He felt strangely winded, as if he’d just taken a punch in the stomach. What was her problem? Was there something actually wrong with her or was she simply incapable of being civil to him?

“You win some, you lose some,” he muttered, doing his best to remain philosophical as he started down the steps.

He really shouldn’t let her attitude bother him. After all, it wasn’t necessary that they like each other. It just would have made the next couple of days a little more pleasant, that’s all. It wasn’t a big deal, certainly nothing he was going to lose any sleep over. It was just that there was something so…what? Familiar? How was that possible? He was certain he had never seen her before today. So why did he have this ridiculous feeling that he knew her, that there was a connection between them?

“You’re frowning.”

Jake glanced up at the sound of Cindy’s voice. She’d broken away from the rest of the wedding party, who had gathered outside the church, and her expression was full of concern. “Was I?”

“Yes, is everything okay? Was there something about the rehearsal you didn’t like?”

“Absolutely not,” he insisted, slipping a reassuring arm around her shoulders. The gesture was unusual for him but there was something vulnerable and soft about Cindy that made it okay.

He thought of Kristin’s hand on his arm, how it had almost felt natural for a moment—but only for a moment. She hadn’t welcomed his touch. In fact, she’d been able to stand it only long enough to get out of the church. How could two sisters be so different?

“Are you sure?”

“It went great and tomorrow it’s going to go even better.” He gestured to the others. “Ask anyone.”

Cindy’s face relaxed. “I hope you’re right.” She breathed out a long sigh, catching Kristin’s eye in the crowd and motioning her over. “I’m just so nervous.”

Jake followed Cindy’s gaze, watching as Kristin made her way toward them. “I think it might run in the family.”

Cindy turned to her sister as she joined them. “Kristin, what if I trip?”

Kristin shrugged. “What if I faint!”

“Oh brother,” Ted said as he approached and immediately reached for Cindy’s hand to pull her to him. “Talk about looking on the dark side. What if everything just happens to turn out fine?”

Cindy looked up at him and sighed again. “You think that’s a possibility?”

“I don’t know, let’s show up tomorrow and find out,” Ted said, placing a kiss on the end of her nose.

Cindy looked at Kristin. “I don’t know. What do you think?”

“Oh what the hell,” Kristin said with a careless wave. “We’ve come this far.” She put a hand on her sister’s arm. “How about we make a deal? I won’t laugh if you trip and you promise to step over me if I faint. What do you say?”

Cindy laughed and patted Kristin’s hand. “It’s a deal.”

“Well, I’m certainly happy we got that settled,” Ted announced dryly. “And Kristin, I should have known that alter ego of yours would come up with a solution.” He glanced down at his wristwatch. “But now we need to get moving. I told my folks we’d meet them at the restaurant.” Turning to the group, he raised his hands. “Okay, everybody, time for free food—follow me!”

It was a long time before Jake had an opportunity to talk to Ted again—long after the rehearsal dinner had ended, long after all the old friends had been greeted and long after all the toasts had been made. The restaurant was nearly empty and most of the wedding party and friends and family had left. As the waiters stacked chairs around them, he and Ted sat alone at a table, watching while Cindy, Kristin and the small group that remained played a lively game of darts in the lounge.

Jake felt exhausted, but it was a good kind of fatigue. He’d been concerned about seeing everyone again—friends, family—about how they would react to him after all this time. But as it was, things had gone fine. Old friends seemed genuinely pleased to see him and it had been good to catch up again. Of course, he’d done his best to keep his distance from Kristin Carey throughout the course of the evening. Although he couldn’t help noticing she didn’t seem to have a problem being friendly to the others at the party.

“You mentioned something back there at the church I was curious about,” he said to Ted as Kristin tossed a dart that missed the board and landed somewhere behind the bar.

“I did?” Ted asked drowsily, taking a sip of his beer.

“Something about Kristin.”

Ted put down his glass and blinked sleepily. “I don’t remember.”

“You said something about an alter ego?” Jake leaned closer, lowering his voice. “Is there…well, you know. Is there something wrong with her? I mean, some kind of weird split-personality thing or something?”

Ted snorted out a laugh. “What? What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know,” Jake insisted, feeling silly now for having brought up the subject. “You’re the one who mentioned an alter ego. What the hell else is that supposed to mean?”

Ted laughed again and took another drink of beer. “Well, you don’t have to worry. There’s nothing wrong with her. I was just referring to…well, she has this job. She doesn’t like to talk about her work, but…well, she’s on the radio—”

Jake felt the hair at the back of his neck stand on end and a strange-sounding tinkle rang in his ears.

“It’s a talk show. Late-night sort of thing,” Ted continued. “Called ‘Lost Loves.’ It’s really very popular and…well, Cindy and I tease her about having an alter ego because she doesn’t use her real name on the program. On the air she’s known as Jane Streeter—Dear Jane.”

Kristin took aim with the dart and let it fly across the room. But instead of sailing into the bristled board, it took a dramatic nosedive and landed snugly in the wooden leg of the bar stool. Covering her mouth with her hand, she grimaced. That one had surprised even her. Behind her, though, the group in the lounge erupted in laughter and cheers.

“I meant to do that,” she deadpanned as she turned around, which only brought a barrage of hoots and whistles.

“Good form though,” Cindy shouted over the noise. “And I don’t think there’s a person here who could have done that if they tried.”

“I stink,” she stated flatly, reaching for her wineglass.

Cindy paused for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, you do.” She leaned close, slipping an arm around her shoulders. “But I love you anyway, little sister.”

Kristin smiled. “And I think you’re a little tipsy.”

“Me?” Cindy gasped dramatically, then shook her head. “Naw.”

“Karaoke time!”

They both turned as Cindy’s longtime friend, co-worker and bridesmaid, Dana Byrd, came rushing up.

“Come on, Cin, get up here,” she said, grabbing Cindy by the hand and pulling her to her feet.

“What? No! No, no,” Cindy protested, shaking her head. “I can’t sing.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not a requirement,” Dana assured her as the rest of the group began clapping and chanting: “Cin-dy, Cin-dy, Cin-dy!”

“Kristin, help,” Cindy pleaded as Dana dragged her off. “Don’t let them do this.”

“What can I do?” Kristin asked, tossing her hands up in a helpless gesture. “Your public won’t take no for an answer.” As Dana pulled Cindy farther away, she raised her voice to be heard over the din. “But don’t worry about embarrassing the family. I’ve already taken care of that.”

Kristin had to laugh as she watched Cindy stumble her way through a popular song. Her sister hadn’t lied about the singing, she really was awful! But her sour notes only had everyone laughing that much harder and soon the whole room was singing along.

All in all, it had turned out to be quite an evening and Kristin had to admit she’d enjoyed herself. She hadn’t exactly been dreading the event, but she had been concerned. Given all the chaos going on in her life the past several months, she’d had some serious doubts she would be able to enjoy anything anymore. But there was something about the raucous group, the camaraderie, the laughing and the loud music that managed to block out her concerns and she welcomed the respite.

It had been a long time since she’d felt this comfortable in a public place. Granted, her exposure was somewhat limited. She was hardly alone. The wedding party had all but taken over the small restaurant. And besides, with all of Cindy’s friends from the probation department and Ted’s friends from the police force, how much safer could she have been?

Her gaze shifted across the room to Jake Hayes. He was the only stranger and the only one there who made her uneasy. However, the reason he made her feel uncomfortable had nothing to do with the fact that he was a stranger.

She thought about her awkward performance at the wedding rehearsal and cringed. Why had she acted like that—so cold and unfriendly? And why was she so awkward? It wasn’t as though she’d never caught a man’s attention before. She’d dated often in college and would even go so far as to say she may have fallen in love a time or two, or at the very least, experienced several episodes of very ardent “like.”

Of course that had been before she’d realized just how vulnerable love made a woman, before she’d learned how emotions could be used against you. That had been before Blake.

So instead of thinking about love, she had decided to focus on a career. It wasn’t as though she’d started out looking for a career in broadcasting. After graduation, her focus had been on establishing a counseling practice and expanding her patient base. When she’d agreed to do a quick guest appearance on a local morning-radio program it had been to promote a new counseling hot line for teens. She wasn’t sure why, but she’d been a natural behind the microphone and soon calls began coming in to the station for her. Dear Jane and “Lost Loves” had grown from there. It had all happened so fast she really hadn’t thought about where the show was going or what the potential was—that is, until Blake Murray came into her life.

It was at a local broadcasters’ awards dinner almost four years ago—her first—and “Lost Loves” had been up for L.A.’s Best Talk Radio. Winning had been a thrill, but meeting Blake had changed her life. Tall, handsome, charming and full of self-confidence, he came at her with both barrels and she hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him. They became inseparable from that moment on.

As the manager of a small radio network, Blake had been a strong supporter of her radio show and she’d been thrilled when he’d shown an interest in promoting her career. But even beyond that, he had a way of looking at her that made her feel as though she were the only woman in the world. She had thought it was love she’d seen in his eyes. What a dope! It hadn’t been love—it had been dollar signs.

To Blake, she must have looked like an innocent, ripe for plucking. He’d swept her off her feet with talk of building their life together. Thinking about it now, she honestly couldn’t remember which had come first, the marriage proposal or the partnership proposal.

Blake had been concerned that the local radio network that broadcast “Lost Loves” wasn’t doing enough for her, that they were taking advantage of her and holding her back. She needed someone to look out for her interests, to steer her career in the right direction, someone who cared about her, who had her best interests at heart. He had told her she deserved the best and he was going to see to it that she got it.

Kristin shook her head. How foolish she had been. She realized hindsight was always twenty-twenty, but how could she have ignored all the warning signs? How could she have let herself be taken in?

Only she knew why. That was what love did to her—it made her blind and stupid and made her forget all about common sense. That was a lesson she’d had to learn the hard way. Back then she’d been too starry-eyed, too much in love to see what was so painfully obvious now.

Even though she knew things were moving fast, she’d accepted when he’d asked her to marry him. It was only by coincidence that she’d stumbled across those papers on his desk, those papers dated weeks before they’d even met, papers outlining his plan to negotiate a merger with a national radio network. Of course, the merger was dependent upon him acquiring control over “Lost Loves” and control over Jane Streeter and her career.

She shuddered. It had been a lie from the very beginning—the romance, the relationship, the proposal. He’d set her up and she’d never seen it coming. Like a fool she’d trusted him, believed him when he said he loved her, when he said he wanted to help. But Blake’s idea of helping her had been helping himself. He had set his sights high, and Jane Streeter and “Lost Loves” had been his ticket to the big time.

It hadn’t exactly been her finest moment. The truth had been a shock, but she had needed a lightning bolt like that to shock her back to her senses. She had allowed her feelings to blind her to the truth and she should have known better. It had been a bitter pill to swallow to find out that the man she loved had cared more about what she could do for him than he did about her. But somehow she’d gotten through it. It had been a painful lesson, but one she would never forget. She wasn’t the kind of woman who could fall in love; it was simply too dangerous. It made her lose too much of herself, made her defenseless and left her too vulnerable. Love was just too risky for her. She would never allow her heart to rule her head again.

She took another sip of wine and watched her sister, feeling a swell of emotion in her chest. Cindy had warned her it wasn’t fair to swear off all involvements simply because of one failed relationship, and maybe she was right. Maybe the day would come when she would feel safe enough or confident enough to take a stab at love again. But that time hadn’t come yet and as Dear Jane, she had listened to so many sad stories she wasn’t sure it ever would.

“Care to make a request?”

Kristin stirred herself from the unpleasant memories and looked up, surprised to see that Ted and Jake had moved from the restaurant into the lounge.

“You’re going to serenade us?” she asked, smiling up at Ted.

“Not yet, but I think after another couple of beers…” Ted let his words drift, then nodded toward the bar. “What can I bring you?”

Kristin shook her head. “I’ve had my limit.”

“Come on,” he prompted with an impatient wave of his hand.

“I don’t dare,” she confessed. “Another drink and I just might want to try my luck at darts again.”

Ted’s hand shifted to a gesture of surrender. “Enough said.” Turning to Jake, he raised an eyebrow in question. “Best buddy, name your poison.”

“Designated driver, remember?” Jake said, lifting his glass. “I’ve been on mineral water for the last two hours.”

Ted shuddered. “I don’t see how you can drink that stuff.”

“Hey, I’m not going to risk getting pulled over,” Jake told him, giving him a sly look. “You know what those L.A. cops are like.”

Ted considered this for a moment, then spun around and shouted to the bartender. “Another mineral water for my friend here.”

“Do you mind if I sit down?” Jake asked.

When Kristin looked up, Jake was smiling at her and she felt herself becoming stupidly awkward. “Oh, s-sure.”

“Turned out to be quite a party,” he said, gesturing to the group and Ted weaving his way toward the karaoke stage.

“Quite a party,” she agreed. Just then Cindy and Dana broke into another song. “And quite loud too.”

He nodded and took another sip of water. It was really too loud for conversation, which was fine with her. She wasn’t sure what to say to him anyway. She’d been so rude earlier she was a little surprised he was willing to speak to her at all.

It took a little concentration but she forced herself to focus on Cindy and Dana as they mugged it up onstage, but there wasn’t a moment she wasn’t aware of Jake beside her. She knew every time he took a drink, every time he laughed, every time he turned to look at her.

Why was she so supersensitive where he was concerned? He was a longtime friend of Ted’s so it was obvious he wasn’t the type of stranger she needed to be wary of. So why not relax and just enjoy herself? He was another member of the wedding party—no more, no less.

But when she glanced at him as Ted stepped up onstage and joined Cindy and Dana in their song, he was smiling at her and she felt her heart leap to her throat.

“If it even looks like they’re coming anywhere close with that microphone,” he said in a loud voice, talking over the noise, “I’m making a break for the door.”

“I’ll be right behind you,” she called back.

He smiled at her and she felt her throat close off again. She quickly turned away in an effort to avoid the danger of any further conversation. She concentrated instead on Ted and Cindy as they entertained everyone with their best Sonny and Cher impersonation while murdering the song “I Got You Babe!”

Despite all the laughter and good feelings, Kristin felt herself becoming angry and frustrated. He was there. Him. That nameless, faceless stranger who had stolen her freedom, and it just wasn’t right. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. This should be one of the happiest times in her life. Her only sister was getting married. Cindy had found the man she loved and they were beginning a wonderful life together. Nothing should be more important and nothing should get in the way. Yet, there was something—someone who threatened to take center stage. The poison that touched her life touched theirs as well, and made her the angriest of all.

From her peripheral vision she was aware when Jake turned and looked at her, and felt a surge of frustration. How much longer was this going to go on? How much longer was she going to greet every new man she met as if he were him, as if he were the stranger who knew her only as Jane Streeter, who had muscled his way into her life and made it a living nightmare?