Читать книгу Christmas At Cedarwood Lodge - Rebecca Raisin - Страница 19

Chapter Nine

“So, I’ll organize someone to fix the stained-glass windows?” Kai leaned against the stone wall of the chapel, pad and pen in hand. It felt cooler inside since the thick limestone walls absorbed the frosty air.

“Yes… ideally I want to keep these windows if they can be restored, rather than replace them.” Sun leached through the glass and colored the stone floor in prisms of light. The stained glass was circa 1920s and I didn’t want to lose any of the heritage. Even if it cost more to find an artist to repair what remained, it would be a worthy investment. The designs were eye-catching – flowers and cherubs, a landscape made from glass – but they were also a marker of another time, and part of the history of Cedarwood.

He continued: “Before we do that, though, the beams have to be raised and the rot at the base fixed. Also, the vestibule is full of rising damp and some of the stones need to be replaced. Aside from that, the main issue is refurnishing it.”

The pews still sat in solemn rows in front of the pulpit but the elements had ravaged them over the years, and sadly they weren’t restorable.

“Could you make new pews?” I asked. “It’s not as though they’re complex, are they?” Kai hadn’t signed on to renovate the chapel, and I wondered briefly if I was looking for an excuse for him to stay. Or was it that I relied on him, and knew he’d do the job properly, safely?

“I could knock some up. If we found some nice timber they’d last for ever. If the snow and rain hadn’t seeped inside these would have too. Once the windows are fixed and the damp sorted the chapel will stay dry and the furniture will be safe all through the winter.” His breath came out wispy with fog from the cold. “I’ll get them done before I leave so you can go ahead with your bridal expo. I’ll submit our plans to the council for approval, but you’ll have to follow up on them once I’m gone. They can get lost sometimes unless you badger them.”

I nodded, feeling a catch in my throat. Perhaps it was the chill of the room. “It’ll be so strange without you here.”

He gave me a weak smile. “No one will force you up the mountain.”

“True. Small mercies and all that.”

We lapsed into silence, as I fumbled for something to say. A knock at the door saved us, so Kai made his excuses and left.

“Have you got a minute?” Isla’s forehead furrowed.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“The grounds beyond the lake are a little unruly, and I wondered if you wanted me to work that far along. Or are we leaving it wilder?”

Beyond the lake was the entrance to one of the walking trails, and the land was overgrown and full of brambles. “We will need to tidy that area if guests wander that far, but it probably won’t be an issue until spring. I think Kai and Micah are the only ones crazy enough to walk in lashing wind and rain at the moment.”

“OK, well, I’ll add it to the list and see how we go for time.” She shuffled around like there was more she wanted to say.

“Anything else?” I asked, giving her a wide smile.

She chewed on her bottom lip before replying. “Clio, thanks for offering me the contract for Cedarwood. I know you would’ve had applicants with more experience.” It struck me that the bubble we had was bursting. Everyone was thinking of their next job, of leaving Cedarwood for good. I’d miss them all, and what we shared here, and it was hard to believe I’d continue without them. Still, I wouldn’t pine just yet. We had a few more weeks together.

“Your resume was best suited to us. There was no question about your being the right landscaper,” I said, meaning it.

There were times Isla had a kind of solemnity, a heaviness, as though she carried a burden. When that passed she was energetic and lively, but when her guard fell, like now, it was obvious there was something wrong, always hovering just below the surface. I sensed she needed a confidante.

“That’s nice of you to say.” She fiddled with her gardening gloves and wouldn’t meet my eye.

Rays of saffron sun shone through the stained-glass window. “Isla, what is it? You know you can talk to me as a friend.”

“Do you have sisters?” she eventually asked.

I shook my head. “No, I’m an only child. What about you?”

“Same,” she smiled. “With my job, I don’t tend to have many friendships. They’re a little hard to maintain when I pack up and leave all the time. Sometimes I wish I was more grounded, settled, you know?”

Outside, the rumble of a truck started, coughing and spluttering like it was on its last legs – I wouldn’t miss the noise once the renovations were done. “It must be hard moving on all the time.”

She dropped her gaze. “Yes.”

“Well, how about you sit down for five and tell me what’s really bothering you? Whatever you say stays here, in this chapel.”

She gave me such a grateful look my heart nearly tore in two. Maybe that sadness she carried was pure loneliness and I understood that. I’d felt it often enough myself since returning home to Evergreen, but thankfully I had old friends to fall back on.

She moved from foot to foot, the room humming from the noise outside. “I feel like I’ll drown in these feelings if I don’t confide in someone.”

I gestured for her to continue.

She blushed, bringing out the freckles on her nose. “He makes me forget there’s anything in the world except him and we’ve barely even talked. I can’t think straight when he looks at me. It’s the strangest thing. I’ve never felt like that before, and I don’t know what to do.”

“With Micah?”

She nodded.

I hid a smile but inside I was jumping for joy. “Why not meet for a date and see what happens?” Micah had valid reasons for being wary about plunging into love again, but I couldn’t see what was holding Isla back. Shyness, and what else?

“I doubt Micah even knows I’m alive! When we talk it’s like this halting, awkward mess.”

“Nerves, perhaps? On both your parts…” It wasn’t my place to tell her how Micah felt but I was sorely tempted, and had to allude to it. Surely she could read the signs?

“Do you think he feels the same?”

I nodded. Whoops. What else could I do? Time was running out. Isla would leave soon unless something was done. “I think you’re both struggling with the same feelings and how to act on them.”

Her blush deepened. “Well, that throws up a whole new set of problems. Unrequited love was torment enough, but that is infinitely worse.”

“Why?” I asked, confused.

“I worry…” Her face pinched. “…That Micah will see the real me, and it’ll all be over and I’ll have to leave Cedarwood early because it’ll hurt too much to stay.”

“What do you mean, the real you? Unless you’re some kind of knife-wielding maniac in secret…?” I gave her a half-smile.

She laughed. “I can wield the secateurs fairly well, so unless you’re a hedge you’re safe. But it’s more than that.”

“OK… like I said, whatever you tell me stays in this room.”

When she gazed up at me, my heart seized. She wore a look of abject grief, like she was one step away from dissolving into tears. What could make her so unhappy? I moved to embrace her. “Seriously, Isla, talk to me. It can’t be that bad…”

After a deep, shuddery breath she said, “A few years ago I was visiting my parents’ farm for the weekend. It’d been almost a year since I’d seen them. That night their house caught fire. We still don’t know how it started, maybe faulty wiring, something shorted out. It spread so quickly, and it destroyed the house, and all of their farming equipment.”

“Oh, Isla, that must have been terrifying. Were they OK?”

She nodded. “They got out just in time. But I went back in for the dog, Roxie. I couldn’t let her suffer like that, knowing she was trapped and inhaling all that toxic smoke. I raced around the back and into the kitchen where she usually slept, and found her whimpering. As I went to pick her up a beam fell, blocking my path. Roxie scampered over it and out the door, but I got stuck, the smoke distorting my vision. The kitchen collapsed all at once, and I knew I had to clamber through the flames or I’d perish in there. It was the most terrifying thing ever, and I could hear my mom screaming my name. So I just reacted, and ran through the fire. I was burned down my body.”

I let the story float, absorbing it all. “Isla, what a shocking thing to go through. I can only imagine how frightening it was for you and your family, but why would sharing that with Micah matter?”

“The burns.” She swallowed hard. “I’ve never given the scarring much thought because I was so damn grateful to be alive. But now I wonder, how they’ll feel under his touch, how they’ll look… and I just want to retreat. What if it repulses him? Or the thought of it puts him off?”

I hadn’t even thought of the scars. I’d only thought of her near-miss and how terrifying it must’ve been for her. “Oh, Isla. What a thing to worry about. Micah’s…” I groped for something that wouldn’t sound like platitudes, something that would convince her to take a chance. “If you knew him as well as I do, you’d know it would be a non-issue for him.” I paused. “Unless it’s upsetting for you, and then he’d be concerned. Out of all the men in the world, Micah would be the one to make you feel beautiful, because you are beautiful, and those scars, no matter how much you dislike them, are part of your story. They’re part of who you are, and how you got to this point, and I’m sure Micah would say the same. It’s a big ask, me telling you to trust in him, but I think you should.”

Her eyes were glassy with tears. “You really think so, Clio?”

“I really do. You can hide away for ever, but what good would that do you? Why not risk it and see, and I bet you’ll be surprised.” I could only guess Micah would run his fingertips along them, and ask Isla about that night, and make her feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. When he fell in love he was lost to it, and scars or not, their romance would blossom if only they could move on from their pasts. They were utterly perfect for one another and I sent a prayer up to the universe to make it happen for my two friends.

“I guess I’ve built it up into this huge issue and I can’t see past it. It’s like I don’t know who I am any more. I always have this instinct to run, so I never get close to anyone. I don’t know, it’s just easier that way.”

“I can understand that, Isla. What you’ve been through is pretty huge. Have you thought about putting roots down? See what happens when you stay for a while? We’d love to have you full-time at Cedarwood. No pressure, but you’ll always have a place here if you need it. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Hope danced in her eyes. “Really? You want me to stay?’

“Of course! But there’s plenty of time for you to decide. You do what’s right for you.”

“Thanks, Clio. Gosh, it’s good to have another girl to talk to. I miss that.”

“I do too. So let’s make it a regular thing.” I gave her arm a squeeze. Isla needed a friend – it was as obvious as the freckles dotting her nose – and I was more than happy to be that person. And I was glad she’d shared her secret with me. I’d tread gently with my two lovesick friends.