Читать книгу Baby in a Million - Rebecca Winters - Страница 7
ОглавлениеCHAPTER TWO
ASHLEY shouldn’t have been surprised by the question, but somehow she had expected any response, any comment, any question but that one. Her fidelity to him was not in question here! But incredibly it seemed that her husband believed someone else had fathered their child.
She supposed he could be forgiven for coming to that conclusion. But at the same time, did he honestly believe she could sleep with another man while she was still married to him?
What an amazing irony. She could have laughed out loud if she hadn’t felt like sobbing.
“Can we talk about this in private?” she whispered because people were walking in the hallways from both directions. Right now his mood was too volatile to trust in the company of others.
Like an automaton, he picked up the bag and suitcase, then grasped her elbow in an almost painful grip. Before she knew how it had happened, he’d ushered them down another hallway to an open housekeeping storeroom.
“Cord—we can’t come in here!” she cried softly.
“We just did.”
He turned on a light and slammed the door, barring any hope of a quick exit with his unquestionably masculine frame.
She hadn’t been this close to him for so long, she forgot how susceptible she was to his potent male appeal, the scent of the soap he used in the shower, the warmth of his hard body electrifying hers.
Strong hands reached out and covered her shoulders, forcing her closer, but her swollen belly prevented a merging of their bodies.
“Look at me,” he demanded in a deceptively quiet voice.
Afraid to do otherwise, she lifted her head and met his piercing glance.
“Tell me who he is, Ashley.” His voice grated.
She tried swallowing, but it was impossible. “I’m surprised you have to ask.”
A glint of pain flashed in the depths of his eyes. “It’s Greg’s baby, isn’t it?” came the tortured utterance.
“Greg?” she blurted incredulously.
The hands on her shoulders bit in to her skin. “He’s always been crazy about you. It’s the reason he hired you to work for him after we found out I couldn’t give you a baby. It’s the reason he’s been so damn loyal to you. Good Lord—To think my wife and my best friend could get involved—” he ground out. His haunted tone devastated her.
Right now would be the perfect time to throw Sheila in his face and make him realize what their affair had done to her, Ashley. But she couldn’t.
“Please, Cord. Your hands—You don’t know your own strength.” In his pain, he had unconsciously gripped her too hard.
When her entreaty got through to him, he let go of her, looking like the lone survivor of a horrendous battle.
Taking a deep draft of air she began to explain. “The night before I left the house, y-you came to my room, and you know what happened. Within a few weeks, I had all the signs of flu and went to see Dr. Noble.
“He ran a lot of tests, but everything came back normal. He joked with me that my symptoms sounded like morning sickness, then asked me when was the last time that you and I had slept together.”
The whole time she was talking, Cord seemed to be looking straight through to her soul.
“One thing led to another and he decided to do a pregnancy test on me. He said stranger things had happened, that once in a while an infertile couple defied all the odds.
“When the first test came back saying I was pregnant, he did two more tests to be absolutely certain, then told me we’d made medical history.”
Her proud chin lifted a little higher. “It’s your baby, Cord. No one else’s.” Her voice throbbed.
A stillness came over him that pervaded the entire storeroom.
Like trick photography, his expression underwent a total transformation. Frame by frame she watched as if new life had just been breathed into his body. His well-defined chest heaved from the force of a dozen new emotions exploding inside him, needing expression.
Ashley could feel them because her body was undergoing a similar reaction. She’d lived with this secret knowledge too long, holding back for the moment when they were divorced and she was ready to tell him.
But circumstances had dictated that she tell him sooner, and now her husband knew the truth. With this knowledge, she realized everything was about to change...
“I presume you were going to tell me after the fact,” came the acid comment.
A fresh wave of guilt swept over her. “I—I thought it best to keep it to myself so our divorce would go through quickly. Sheila intimated that the two of you were anxious to—”
“Sheila be damned!” he interrupted cruelly. “You knew how much I’ve always wanted to have a baby, and you kept it from me. Good Lord, Ashley—”
Her heart almost failed her. “But, Cord—Sheila said—”
“I don’t ever want to hear her name mentioned again,” he bit out with barely controlled rage. “When is our child due?”
“May thirtieth, four weeks from now.”
“The day before my birthday,” he murmured in wonder, as if to himself. “Have you had an ultrasound?” he asked unexpectedly.
“Yes. As far as the doctor can tell, the baby is perfect and it’s a good size.”
She saw a little nerve throb along his forceful jaw, evidence of the emotion he was experiencing.
“Are we having a boy or a girl?”
Ashley averted her eyes. “I don’t know.”
“Why not?” he fired back.
“I—I decided I wanted to be surprised, so I asked the doctor not to tell me. All I care about is that it’s normal.”
“It appears that if I hadn’t called you, I wouldn’t have known about our child until after it was born,” he murmured, sounding far away. “What really made you come?”
It was hard to look anywhere except at him. “Greg said—” She paused, afraid to reveal too much. Talking about his best friend was like treading on sacred ground. She didn’t know exactly what she should say.
“Tell me!”
She shook her head. “He was worried about you, that’s all.”
His eyes flickered dangerously. “He always did have a lot of influence over you.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to remind him that Sheila had only to call him—ostensibly about a business problem—no matter what hour of the night, and he would leave Ashley in bed to take care of it.
But bringing up his stepmother’s name at such a precarious moment as this could only exacerbate the tension between them.
To her shock, she felt his hand run through her hair, feeling the silky strands. She had to stifle a moan. “I like it,” he whispered. “There’s a lot of natural curl. I would imagine our baby will look just like you.”
Don’t touch me. Please don’t touch me.
“Ashley—” he began, sounding more emotional than angry. But the door flew open and one of the ladies in housekeeping cried out to discover the two of them inside.
“Sorry.” He grinned at the woman while escorting Ashley from the closet with a possessive arm around the back of her waist. “I had this irresistible urge to kiss my wife who’s about to become a mother, and I didn’t want an audience.”
The woman tittered, obviously amused and charmed by him. “You can stay in there all day for all I care. Just let me put this waxer away.”
Anyone else might have made the woman suspicious enough to call security, but Cord had a way with people that was fascinating to watch.
He brushed Ashley’s flushed cheek with the back of his hand, sending a shiver of forgotten delight through her body. Eyeing her face through narrowed eyes he said, “I think maybe it was time we came out for air.”
The custodian chuckled and waved them on, then went about her work. Ashley, still dizzy from the sensations his touch had aroused, walked unsteadily at his side, her wedges making a clicking sound on the linoleum as he opened the door for her so they could enter the floor where he’d been admitted.
As they neared the nursing station, a sixtyish-looking man in a lab coat looked up, then smiled at Cord. “It looks like you found your wife.”
“I did. Ashley, this is Dr. Drake, the head of the clinic.”
She said something appropriate and shook the doctor’s hand, but the word “clinic” sent a shudder through her body. “W-what kind of clinic are you referring to?” she stammered. Cancer? Or something equally serious?
The doctor frowned in puzzlement. “Our couples program.”
Couples?
“She just got here so we haven’t had a chance to discuss anything yet,” Cord explained, but Ashley could scarcely concentrate because she was still reacting to the doctor’s comment.
She shook her head in bewilderment. “What program?”
Dr. Drake’s attention switched to Cord. “I thought you explained things to her when you were in here on Friday.”
Ashley swallowed hard. “I—I’m afraid I didn’t give him an opportunity. We’re getting a divorce and there’s been virtually no contact.”
“Yes. Your husband confided as much to me. Mrs. McKnight? Can I assume you’re here because you want to help your husband?”
After a moment’s pause she murmured, “Yes.”
“All right then. As you’re aware, every year in our country we declare a day of no smoking.”
Smoking?
She couldn’t imagine what he was getting at.
“Those trying to quit the habit abstain from cigarettes for twenty-four hours. In conjunction with that effort, we piloted a special program at City Creek ten years ago called the Great Salt Lake Smokeout.”
Ashley had heard of it.
“It was so successful, we’ve done it every year since. Six couples, where one or both have a smoking problem, voluntarily sign up on a first-come, first-serve basis, and stay together in a special clinic for a week free of charge. We provide intensive counseling and therapy to help them break the habit.”
Her mind was spinning. “Dr. Drake? Neither of us smokes!”
“Your husband had the habit in college, but he got off it when he went to work as a park ranger.”
Ashley was dumbfounded. Cord had never told her that...
“Since your separation, he’s taken it up again and wants desperately to quit, thus the reason he came to us. His case is one of several kinds we’re looking for because he wasn’t a smoker all his life.
“We believe this latest addiction is an outward sign of emotional stress and deep-seated problems possibly relating as far back as childhood. Problems he hasn’t yet come to terms with.
“We’ve learned it’s easier if the partner in the marriage goes through the counseling, as well, in order to help their spouse and/or themselves. Through a team effort, the prognosis for quitting altogether is excellent because many problems and side issues are aired with positive results.
“In your particular situation, facing a traumatic divorce has obviously triggered his need to begin smoking again, so you’re the one he would require to be on hand to help him learn more about himself and dig deep for answers.
“You certainly don’t have to agree to this. It would take an exceptionally strong person to revisit the scene of the crime so to speak and place yourself in a vulner able position once more.”
Ashley moaned because his comments pierced the very core of her turmoil.
“In fact in ten years, I only know of one other couple on the verge of divorce who entered together, and they left the program early. For them, it didn’t work. But Mr. McKnight seems anxious to try.
“Today is our kickoff. I’m giving a lecture in the auditorium in five minutes. If you’re interested in helping your husband, talk to him and let me know what you decide by the end of the hour. If you decide not to go through with the program, I’ll need to give your place to the next couple on the list.”
While her thoughts reeled, he patted Cord’s shoulder, then walked down the corridor.
Stunned by the news that Cord was a smoker, she stood there in a daze. “When I married you, I thought I knew everything about you, but it’s evident I only scratched the surface. All weekend I assumed that you must be dying of a terminal illness and Greg was afraid to tell me.
“Instead—I discover you’re here because of a smoking problem! It’s too absurd.” An angry laugh escaped.
“It’s serious to me,” Cord said in a quiet voice. “Even more so now that I’ve found out you’re pregnant.”
Ashley didn’t have a comeback for that. During the last six months of their broken marriage she had no idea what he did apart from her because they spent so little time together. He and Sheila, along with several subordinates, ran the administrative end of the lucrative McKnight potato chip company. The various plants located in northern Utah and Idaho had produced a phenomenal business for three generations and it was still growing to meet the demand.
Sheila smoked a lot. Ashley could always tell when Cord had been with her because he came home from the office with telltale signs of tobacco clinging to his clothes. Under those circumstances it would be easy enough for Cord to fall back into an old habit.
Naturally she wanted him to stop, if only for his own health’s sake. She supposed that knowing he was about to become a father would provide the extra incentive.
But one week without Sheila? Ashley mused waspishly. She couldn’t imagine how either Cord or his stepmother would survive that long without each other.
Yet he obviously felt he needed help or he wouldn’t have checked in to the hospital. But a couples program?
She’d heard smoking was a very difficult habit to break, and she admired anyone who was successful. Certainly a program like the one run at the hospital sounded as if it might work because it was attempting to deal with a person’s whole psyche.
She moistened her dry lips. “It would never have occurred to me that you were a smoker.”
“I put it behind me when I went to work for the forest service and thought I’d licked it.” There was a distant pause. “Evidently I haven’t. Now that you know the truth, I wouldn’t blame you if you walked away.”
She took a shaky breath. “If I do that, then you won’t be able to participate.”
“It doesn’t matter, Ashley. I can afford to get the help I need through individual therapy. But when I heard about the clinic, the idea of couples working on the problem together made a lot of sense.”
She hated to admit that she agreed, but she had serious reservations. “I don’t feel comfortable about taking the place of another couple who wouldn’t otherwise have the funds to get this kind of help.”
Cord’s jaw tautened. “That was one of my concerns, too. I’ve already told Dr. Drake that if you did join me, I would insist on paying for our stay and the therapy involved.
His admission didn’t surprise her. In all areas but one, Cord was the most honest, decent human being she’d ever known.
“It was a mistake to have called you,” he muttered darkly. “If you’re ready, I’ll walk you out to your car.”
He cupped her elbow to usher her toward the elevator, but she pulled back. His dark brows furrowed in question.
“Cord—since you’ve gone to this much trouble, I have to assume you’re intent on quitting smoking. I’ll stay through your first meeting with the therapist, but beyond that, I can’t promise anything.”
His body stilled. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I—I came this morning, Cord, and I’ll see it through that far at least.”
“But your job?”
“The person who was going to replace me when I went into labor is with Mrs. Bromwell now. Early this morning I made the decision that no matter what happened between you and me, I wouldn’t be going back there. It’s not going to be a problem since we all agreed that anything could have happened during these last four weeks.”
“You’re right. Our baby might decide to come early.”
“It’s possible,” she admitted, “but the doctor says there’s no sign of that yet.”
“Frankly, I’m glad you’re quitting work.”
Ashley looked away, nervous and apprehensive over what she’d done, but she’d made a commitment and couldn’t back out on it. “Excuse me while I make that call.”
She turned to the desk clerk who allowed Ashley the use of the phone. All the time she talked to Mrs. Bromwell’s daughter, she felt Cord’s presence and it prevented her from concentrating. After promising to keep in touch with the family, Ashley hung up the receiver. “Shall we go to the auditorium?”
His gaze swept over her, concerned and reminiscently possessive. “Are you all right? Do you need anything first?”
“No, thank you. I’m fine.”
“If you should feel any discomfort, I want to know about it.” The one thing she knew about Cord was that he would take perfect care of her.
“I promise,” she said in an effort to reassure him.
When they went inside, Dr. Drake was speaking at the podium, using an overhead projector to put some points across. Cord shifted his arm to her shoulders and guided her down the aisle to a vacant row where they took the first two seats. He placed her suitcase and bag in the aisle next to his.
Another surprise awaited her when he reached for her left hand. She could feel him brailling her rings, no doubt to ascertain that they were still there.
When she attempted to put her arm back in her lap, he exerted the slightest pressure which served as a warning not to try to free herself.
She had been afraid of this happening. Now that he knew he was about to become a father, he was feeling proprietorial of her. He might not be in love with her any longer, but he would love their child. She had no doubts about that. Because she was going to be the mother, he would do everything in his power to help and protect her.
Once they were alone again, she’d remind him that they were getting a divorce. He couldn’t go on touching her, holding her whenever he felt like it.
Somehow she had to make him see that the only reason she was here was to provide an additional impetus to help him conquer the problem which had beset him.
“...After this general meeting, which should only take another ten minutes, we’ll assign each couple a room and ask you to go there and get settled. Breakfast will be served at seven-thirty in the conference room next door.
“At eight o’clock, a psychologist will visit each couple in their rooms to begin the treatment and therapy sessions.
“Lunch will be at twelve, followed by a getting-acquainted session for everyone back in here at twelve-thirty.
“I believe that’s as much as I need announce at this time. Right now, I’d like to introduce Mack and Barbara, a couple who were involved in our pilot program ten years ago.
“Mack was a heavy smoker who’d tried dozens of times to quit without success.
“Mack? Tell us what happened when you came in here.”
Ashley tried to listen while the man explained how City Creek’s program had turned his life around and made a new man of him. But with Cord sitting next to her, his lower thigh brushing against her nylon-clad leg, she couldn’t possibly concentrate.
While he held her hand, he absently rubbed his thumb over her palm. Every motion sent her pulse skyrocketing, rekindling old desires which had been lying dormant over the last eight months.
She could hardly breathe as she felt his gaze wander over the pregnant line of her body. He was studying her, most likely comparing what he saw to his last memory of her. It shamed her now to remember how she’d molded herself to him after a rapturous night of lovemaking. But the second she’d fallen asleep, he’d stolen from the bedroom she was using, and had gone back to his own room.
When she’d awakened and had discovered him missing, she went to find him, needing to talk about what had happened.
During the night he’d begged her to believe him, that there had been no affair with Sheila. After what they’d just shared, she’d wanted to have faith in him and thought maybe this could be a new beginning.
But the conversation she had in mind never took place because when she reached the door of his room, she heard Sheila’s voice. She was talking to Cord.
Though Ashley felt like she was going to faint from the pain, she peered inside. What she saw turned out to be the blackest moment of her life.
Within ten minutes she’d packed a suitcase and had left the house in the compact car he’d bought her. Since that hellish morning, she hadn’t stepped over the threshold of the McKnight house. She never would again.
“Ashley? It’s time to go to our room. The others have already filed out.”
Cord’s low voice brought her back to the present with a jolt. Her head jerked around. “What?”
His lancing eyes searched her features relentlessly. He let out an expletive. “You’ve gone pale.”
“I’m just feeling a little empty inside,” she lied. “It’s nothing serious.’
“What can I get you? Some juice? I saw a machine in the hall.”
“That sounds good.”
“Let’s go.”
After having been on her own for over half a year, she had to admit it felt wonderful to be taken care of again. No one was more solicitous of her needs than Cord. He’d been a giver from the first moment she’d met him. That quality in him hadn’t changed.
Within a couple of minutes he’d whisked her to their room a few doors down the halt and had forced her to sit down at the side of the bed, guarding her to make sure she drank every drop of the canned orange juice.
Though she hadn’t needed a drink, it tasted delicious. While she emptied the can, he put the bag in the closet, then lifted her suitcase onto his bed and started emptying it.
Ridiculous as it seemed, though she’d been married to him for six years, she felt shy and a little embarrassed as he unpacked her things, particularly her nightgowns and underwear.
“What are these?” He held several vials of pills in his hand.
“Prenatal vitamins and calcium tablets.”
He put them on the top of the dresser. “How often do you take them?”
“The vitamins once a day. The calcium, twice.”
Any normal man who’d just. found out he was going to be a father would show some curiosity. But this was Cord who’d been told by specialists that he would probably never be able to father a child.
Yet the miracle had happened. He was about to become a new dad. She could see the excitement in his eyes every time they rested on her. More, she could feel it in the huskiness of his deep voice. He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off her.
This was his baby she was carrying. His natural curiosity had been magnified a dozen times by the wondrous news. Ashley had to resign herself to the fact that he’d already taken over his role as prospective father with a seriousness that bordered on overprotectiveness.
In her heart she couldn’t blame him. Right now she didn’t think that even Sheila could wield enough power to win him away from Ashley’s side, no matter the urgency. Once she’d delivered, it would be a different story. In the meantime, it was evident Cord would be preoccupied with thoughts of the son or daughter almost ready to be born.
If Sheila already hated Ashley now, how much more would that emotion escalate when she found out Ashley was carrying Cord’s baby?
Instead of his stepmother somehow finding out first and running to Cord with the information—no doubt twisting it in some strange way to make Ashley look bad in his eyes, Ashley derived a certain satisfaction in knowing that Cord would have to inform Sheila he was about to be a new father. That would definitely come as a shock!
She bit her lip. How long would Cord wait before he excused himself to use the clinic phone and make that important call?
Following the thought, she wondered how much the baby would put a crimp in his future plans with Sheila, whatever they were.
If Cord married her, that would mean she’d be the other woman in their child’s life. Ashley couldn’t fathom such an untenable possibility.
“Come on, Ashley. You’re still looking wan. Let’s get you to the dining room for some solid food.”
“I’m really not hungry, but I’m sure you are. Why don’t you go without me? I ate something before I came and the juice filled me up. Besides, my back is aching a little, and I would like to lie down till the psychologist arrives.”
He pondered her remarks with a single-minded intensity reminiscent of the old Cord she’d first met and fallen in love with. “Then let me help you relax.”
Faster than she could think to lift her legs from the floor, he leaned down and gathered her in his arms to help her stretch out properly on top of the bed.
His gentle solicitation, the close proximity of their bodies produced a bittersweet ache. She turned her head toward the wall, afraid to look at him. “It’s a little cool in here for you, I think.” In the next instant he’d found a light blanket to cover her.
“Th-thank you,” she whispered. The words came out haltingly because as he tucked it around her, his hands seemed to have a mind of their own. She squeezed her eyelids tightly together as she felt him shape his palms to the large mound containing their baby and begin a slow exploration.
You don’t have the right, Cord! Not when you’ve been intimate with Sheila, her heart sobbed in silence.
But Ashley felt powerless to stop him.
Because you’re still in love with him and crave any contact with him. Admit it!
His sure touch was light as a feather, but she felt it in every atom of her trembling body. It had been eight months since she’d known such exquisite pleasure. Eight lonely, interminably long, desolate months. She never wanted him to stop.
“It’s a miracle, darling—” she heard him murmur in a thick-toned voice.
Suddenly the blanket disappeared and the weight on her stomach felt a little heavier. She opened her eyes and turned her head back around to discover his face buried against her belly. A slight gasp escaped her throat as he started to kiss her through the filmy material of her dress.
Unshed tears sprang to her eyes. From almost the very first moment they’d met, he’d kissed her under every conceivable circumstance and manner, but she’d never been as moved, never felt as worshiped and adored as she did at this moment.
Cord would never have the experience of carrying a child nine months inside his own body. Yet it was his child. She realized this was the closest he could come to sharing the experience with her. But she hadn’t counted on the indescribable swell of emotion that made her want to forget every painful thing that had gone on in the past and just feast on this incredible feeling of oneness with him.
A little being was growing inside her, getting bigger every day. A little life which was half her, half Cord. But while she’d had over eight months to ponder the wonder of it all, he’d only just learned that his life was already immortalized by the son or daughter waiting to make an appearance shortly.
Being pregnant with Cord’s baby bonded them in a way that went far beyond the physical world and touched on the eternal. She couldn’t begrudge him the God-given right to fatherhood by denying him this miraculous moment of discovery.
It was something she would treasure in her heart, long after they’d separated and gone their own way. Which they would, a nagging inner voice cried out in despair once more.
“I’ll be right back,” he whispered, pressing a hard, swift kiss to her astonished mouth. After covering her again with the blanket, he left the room in a few swift strides.
