Читать книгу Ultimate Romance Collection - Rebecca Winters, Amalie Berlin - Страница 51

Seventeen

For the second night in a row Coop stood aside while Bristol tucked their son into bed. Today had been a full day of activities. After breakfast he’d stretched out on the floor and helped Laramie put Lego blocks together. Then after lunch he had bundled his son up in his boots and coat and they’d walked to the park.

Bristol had invited Coop to stay for dinner and now he couldn’t help wondering if she would invite him to stay the night. She really hadn’t invited him last night, but their need for each other had pretty much made the decision for them.

There was a strong possibility she might send him packing after they had the little talk he intended for them to have. It was time he forced her hand on a few things.

“Laramie wants to tell you good-night.”

Bristol’s words broke into Coop’s thoughts and he moved from leaning in the doorway to where his son lay, barely able to keep his eyes open. His son, who had captured his heart the moment he’d heard he existed.

“Daddy, you stay. Sleep in Mommy’s bed, okay?”

He couldn’t help but smile. His son was giving him permission even though Bristol hadn’t done so. Instead of agreeing with Laramie, Coop said, “Good night, Laramie.”

“Stay, Daddy. Sleep in Mommy’s bed. Okay?”

Evidently Laramie wasn’t going to let him off that easy. Was this the same kid who’d pushed his nose in this morning when he discovered Coop was in Bristol’s bed? The same little fellow who’d crawled over him to claim his spot beside his mother?

“He will stay, Laramie. Now you need to go to sleep.”

He glanced over at Bristol. Was that her way of giving him an invitation? But then all she’d assured their son was that he would stay, not necessarily that he would stay in her bed. Did that mean she planned to make him sleep on the sofa?

He’d tried deciphering her mood today. Although she’d been friendly enough, it had seemed as if she had a lot on her mind. That was fine. He had a lot on his, too. But still, he couldn’t help wondering if she regretted the intimacy they’d shared last night. She hadn’t mentioned it and neither had he.

“Love you, Mommy.”

“Love you back, Laramie. See you in the morning.” And just like the night before, Bristol leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. However, unlike last night, before drifting off to sleep Laramie said, “Love you, Daddy.”

Coop felt a tug at his heart and a tightness in his throat. It boggled his mind how a child could love so easily. “I love you back, Laramie.”

He and Bristol watched as their son drifted off to sleep.

* * *

When they left Laramie’s room, Coop told her they needed to talk.

Did he regret sleeping with her last night? The morning had started off well...at least she’d thought so, when he’d returned and surprised her with that beautiful plant. However, since then he’d seemed quiet. More than once she’d noticed him studying her like she was a puzzle he was trying to put together. Why?

She looked across the room at him. He was staring at the Christmas tree. What was he thinking? She’d invited him to spend Christmas with her and Laramie. Then what? When would he be leaving New York for his next mission?

“Ready to talk?”

She wondered why he was asking her when he was the one who initiated the meeting. “I’m ready if you are.”

He nodded and sat in the chair across from her. He looked at her for a few moments then he said, “I spoke with my attorney today.”

“Oh? Why did you feel the need to do that?”

He leaned back in the chair and the fabric of his jeans emphasized his masculine thighs. She wished she didn’t notice such things, but she did.

“Laramie is my heir and I wanted to include him in all my important documents.”

“I see.”

“I also needed legal advice on my rights as his father.”

Bristol raised a brow. “Your rights?”

“Yes.”

She frowned. “I don’t understand. I thought I made it clear that I would never deny you access to Laramie and you could spend as much time with him as you want.”

“Yes, but what if you decide to marry one day and your husband feels differently?”

“I don’t ever plan to marry, so you have nothing to worry about.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t know what?”

“That you never plan to marry. Things happen. You might change your mind.”

Her frown deepened. “That won’t happen.”

“You can’t be sure,” he countered.

“Yes, I can.”

He shook his head. “No, you can’t. And because you can’t, my attorney suggested that I take steps to protect my rights as Laramie’s father by filing for joint custody.”

* * *

Coop watched her lean forward in her seat, at full attention. Her eyes widened. “Joint custody?”

“Yes.”

“That’s crazy. You’re not in this country most of the time. How can you even think about joint custody?”

“How can I not think about it, Bristol? In a way, it will make things easier on you.”

“How do you figure that?” she asked, glaring at him.

“You will know what times during the year he will be with me and when he will be with you. One thing I’d like is to swap holidays every year.”

“Swap holidays?” She asked the question like what he was requesting was the craziest thing she’d ever heard.

“Yes. I told you about the ranch I inherited from my grandparents. I want him to spend the holidays with me there next year. That will free you up to do whatever you want to do.”

“Free me up? To do. Whatever I want. To do?”

She had enunciated each phrase. He could tell from the sound of her voice that her anger was increasing. “Yes. I figure with me pitching in, you’ll be able to paint more. While I’m away as a SEAL, I plan on hiring a full-time nanny who—”

“A full-time nanny? You’ve got to be kidding.” She inhaled and exhaled a few times and he knew she was trying to get her anger under control. “What’s going on, Coop? What are you trying to do?”

He had no problem giving her an answer. “I’m trying to give you a reason to make our marriage real.”

* * *

Bristol’s pulse jumped a few notches as she inhaled deeply. “Why?” she asked him. “Why should we make our marriage real?”

He shifted again in his seat and she wondered if he’d done it on purpose to distract her. Did he have any idea how his movements always increased her hormone level?

“The foremost reason is our son. I just cited complications that could arise if we aren’t married. Knowing I have a child is a game changer for me. It was never my intent to father a child until later in life, and like I told you, I don’t regret him, Bristol. I appreciate everything you went through to bring him into this world. And just so you know, if the situation had been different and I hadn’t been held hostage, if I had gotten your letter, you would not have been alone. I would have come to you. I would have been there for you and for my child.”

“But how would you have been there, Coop? You’re a part of the military’s special services. When you leave on one of your missions you have no idea when you’ll get back.”

“True, but I would have taken the time off. The entire nine months if I had to. I would have made sure I was there for you. You would not have gone through your pregnancy alone.”

He didn’t say anything for a few moments. “I believe in accepting my responsibilities, Bristol, but, just so you know, I would not have asked you to marry me just because you were having a baby. I would have done right by my child and by you, but I would not have suggested marriage between us unless I thought it would work.”

At least he was honest, she thought. “So given that, why do you think it will work now? We don’t even know each other.”

“We know enough and over the past couple of days we’ve found out more. We could be together for years and not know everything. Besides, I enjoy getting to know you.”

He shifted again and her gaze followed the movement. “I know you are a good mother. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the best. I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to be the mother of my child. I watch you with Laramie and I know how much you love him and will always put him first. A part of me wants to envy that closeness, but I can’t. I want to be a part of it, Bristol. You’ve given Laramie something special. A home.”

His words reminded her of something her father had said. Even though her mother had robbed him of time with Bristol, in the end, he couldn’t resent her mother when his heart was filled with gratitude to her for shaping Bristol into the woman she was. One who was loyal and independent. Not spoiled or selfish. Although her father had never said so, she knew he’d compared her to his other two kids. After living in their household for almost two years, she could plainly see that his wife’s parenting skills had been vastly different from her mother’s. Krista Lockett hadn’t known how to tell her sons no.

“To me marriage is more than a piece of paper,” he said, interrupting her thoughts. “I can’t help but believe that, especially when I see my parents together and how they interact with each other. Even if there wasn’t all that love, I believe there would still be trust, respect and friendship between them.”

Unfortunately, Bristol thought, she’d never witnessed any such thing between a married couple. It had always been just her and her mother, and her mother had rarely dated. The few times she had, Bristol hadn’t been introduced to the men. When she’d asked her mother about it, all she’d said was that until she met someone special, there was no reason to introduce her dates to her daughter. Evidently her mother never met anyone special. And as for her father’s marriage to Krista, Bristol could honestly say she’d never felt any love in their relationship. They’d shared the same bedroom but that was about all. They’d lived separate lives.

Bristol drew in a deep breath as she thought about what Coop had said. Yes, there was trust and respect between them. She’d trusted him enough three years ago to invite him into her home and she still trusted him. She also respected him. In just two days he had made an impact on his son’s life. And there was his love for his country and his willingness to put his life on the line to protect it. There was no doubt in her mind they could be friends as they got to know each other. Sex between them was good.

But what about the love?

That was something he hadn’t mentioned. He didn’t love her, whereas she’d loved him almost from the start. A part of her truly believed she’d fallen in love with him the moment she’d seen him in Paris. There was no way she would have agreed to an affair if she hadn’t loved him.

But none of those feelings mattered because all the love, respect, trust and friendship in the world couldn’t erase how she’d felt when she’d thought he’d died. That was a period in her life she couldn’t relive. Somehow, she needed to make him understand that.

“What you said might be true, but there’s a reason I can’t marry you, Coop, and it’s one I can’t get beyond.”

He lifted a brow. “And what reason is that?”

She met his gaze, held it and said, “You might die.”