Читать книгу Love Reunited - Renee Andrews - Страница 13

Chapter Three

Every morning since she’d moved back to the farm, Georgiana woke bright and early, then made her way out to the barn to spend time talking to Fallon and to God. Today was no different, except the need for quiet time was even more intense after last night’s trip to the square.

Even though she hadn’t lived here in years, it hadn’t taken Georgiana long at all to remember everything, and consequently, she could easily make her way to the barn without need of her white cane. This was familiar. This was home.

As always, Fallon awaited her arrival, nickering softly when Georgiana neared her stall.

God, be with me today. You know how much I need your help. Keep me strong, Lord.

She’d actually enjoyed the majority of her time at the square last night, shopping with her mother, Abi and Mandy. For a while there, she felt normal again.

Georgiana let the comfort of the barn envelop her as she tenderly stroked the smooth lines of Fallon’s cheek and jaw. Fallon loved to be touched like this; that hadn’t changed over the years, and Georgiana enjoyed the smoothness of her pelt against her palm. Being with Fallon reminded her of the past, the good memories rather than the bad, and she relished these mornings with her gentle friend.

Soft footsteps approached and the crisp scent of coffee mixed with the usual scents of hay, leather and horse filling the barn.

“Georgiana, it’s me,” her mother said softly.

She smiled. “I know, Mom.”

“Thought you might want some coffee,” she said, and eased the mug handle into Georgiana’s palm.

“Thanks.” Georgiana sipped the coffee, exactly the way she liked it, two spoons of sugar and a dollop of French vanilla cream. “Delicious.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

Georgiana felt her mother’s arm reach past her to stroke Fallon. Fallon’s warmth shifted too, eager to accept a bit of loving from both women.

“Where’s Abi?”

“She wanted to eat her oatmeal and drink her coffee milk at the hearth while she watches Little Bear.”

“Right,” Georgiana said, knowing her daughter’s morning routine. The “coffee milk” portion had been added after they came to the farm. When Georgiana had been Abi’s age, that’d been her morning treat as well, a mug of mostly milk and a little bit of coffee and sugar that made her feel like a big girl. She remembered the special sensation associated with getting that mug from her mom each morning and was glad her daughter could experience the same thing.

“Dora comes on right after Little Bear, and she’ll want to watch that too,” Eden said.

Georgiana knew this, of course, but she also knew why her mother reminded her, so she would realize that they had a full hour to themselves to talk. She swallowed another sip of hot coffee, let the richness of it warm her stomach and calm her fears of asking her mother’s opinion. “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“I’m...I’m nervous about Landon coming over. Being around people I knew before, being around him—” she struggled for the right words “—it makes me—uncomfortable.”

She heard her mother take another sip of coffee, a nearly silent sound but one Georgiana easily recognized. Eden was undoubtedly taking a moment to think, to make sure she said exactly the right thing, the way she always did. Then she gently pushed Georgiana’s hair back from her shoulder and said, “Life would be rather boring if everything were always comfortable.”

Georgiana’s mouth quirked to the side. “Well, it certainly isn’t comfortable now, is it?”

“No, honey, it isn’t.” Eden continued running her palm down Georgiana’s hair in much the same way she did when Georgiana had been Abi’s age. She wanted to soothe Georgiana’s fears, put her at ease. But Georgiana wasn’t sure that was possible.

“Mom, I probably shouldn’t have told you what happened in the church that day. Nothing will change the fact that I ran away and had the wreck.” She touched Fallon again. “And I’m sure Landon doesn’t think I told anyone. He probably wouldn’t have wanted me to tell anyone.”

“Oh, sweetie, you know that isn’t true. Landon loved you, and he came to the church to tell you. The only reason he didn’t tell people himself is because you chose to still marry Pete. Even though your heart was thinking about someone else.”

“Mom, I loved Pete. I did.”

“Honey, I believe you. But there are different kinds of love. There’s the kind of love that’s, well, borderline infatuation. A little stronger than that, but still primarily fueled by the physical attraction you have for one another. And then there’s the kind of love that lasts, the kind of love that can endure the toughest of storms. Physical attraction as well, of course, but deeper. Much deeper.” She paused, then added, “Pete couldn’t handle the storms, Georgiana. That isn’t your fault, it’s his.”

“I couldn’t be the kind of wife he wanted anymore.” Georgiana’s heart ached with the admission. “He’s a partner in his firm. He has to make a statement to their clients and to the public in general. How was I supposed to blend with those country-club folks when I couldn’t see? I had no idea what they were wearing, no idea where they were going. Plus I’d just had Abi and wanted to be with my baby.”

“Honey, you don’t need to explain to me. If that boy would have been a real husband, he’d have built you up at your lowest point instead of kicking you down. And don’t you go defending him. I’ll always care about him because he’s Abi’s daddy, but I don’t think a thing of him for the way he treated my little girl.”

“Mom, please. What guy would have stayed?”

Eden didn’t miss a beat. “I can think of one.”

“You don’t know that. And I wouldn’t want anyone to stay with me out of pity.”

“Georgiana, Pete has brainwashed you into thinking no one would want you now. I saw the way Landon looked at you last night, and there wasn’t an ounce of pity to it. Longing maybe, but not pity.”

A tiny trickle of hope worked its way into Georgiana’s heart, but then just as quickly, she heard Pete’s words.

“Good Lord, Georgiana. Look at you. Your hair looks like a troll doll and your clothes look like something from thrift-store central. I’m taking you to mingle with my colleagues. I can’t take a wife that looks like that!” The sounds of slamming doors and several derogatory names Georgiana didn’t want to remember, then “Just forget it. I don’t want you there anyway. Charity, you can go home. We won’t need a babysitter tonight.” Then, to Georgiana, “You can still handle taking care of our daughter, can’t you?” Another slamming door. And another miserable night by herself with Abi as her only comfort.

“Mom, Landon wouldn’t want me now.”

“I’m not going to listen to that kind of talk. A moment ago, you were starting to believe what I was saying. That’s what you need to concentrate on, not everything that you heard from Pete. I mean that.”

“I don’t even know if Landon has someone in his life now. That is a possibility, you know. He could have married, had children...”

“Nope, and nope. He never married and didn’t have kids. You forget I see John at church and he watches the place for me anytime I’m gone.”

“You did not ask him if Landon had married.”

“Dear, Claremont is a small town. I ask if everyone has married. And who has had kids. And who has passed on. Actually, half the time you don’t even have to ask. It’s right there every Sunday in the church bulletin.”

“Nothing like gossip started in a church handout.”

“It isn’t gossip, dear. It’s the announcements,” Eden said, and Georgiana couldn’t hold back her laugh.

“I love you, Mom.”

“I know. I love you too.” Eden gave her a tender hug. “Now remember that you are a fine catch, and I’m betting that there’s a guy coming to see you today who knows that better than most.”

“But Mom, you’ve forgotten the other problem with Landon and me talking again.”

“What’s that?”

“He still doesn’t know what caused my blindness.”

“So he’ll ask, and you’ll tell him,” Eden said, as though that were all there was to it. But surely she knew it wasn’t that easy.

“And then he’ll blame himself.”

“Honey, God has his reasons for everything that happens in life. And He had a reason for what happened on that day. That’s what you’ll have to tell Landon.”

“Then pray that he doesn’t blame himself? And pray just as hard that he doesn’t blame me for not telling him?”

“He told you he loved you,” her mother reminded. “Do you honestly think those feelings are gone?”

“Until yesterday we hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in eight years. That’s hardly what people do if they love each other.” She finished her coffee, placed the empty mug on the top of the rail.

“He left because you chose Pete.”

“And it’s like you said, everything happens for a reason.”

Her mother was silent for a moment, then whispered. “Georgiana?”

“Yes?”

“I think you’re right. And if everything does happen for a reason, then I have to believe that Landon’s return to Claremont right after you came home happened for a reason.”

Georgiana wasn’t expecting that. “Things change in eight years. People change in eight years.”

“I saw it in his eyes last night, Georgiana. He still cares about you. To what extent, I don’t know, but he definitely still cares.”

Georgiana wished she could’ve seen Landon’s eyes, and she decided to ask the question she was dying to have answered. “Mom, about Landon.”

“What about him?”

“What does he look like now? I mean, has he changed since high school, or does he still look the same?” She’d wondered ever since she heard that rich baritone yesterday afternoon, because in her mind she pictured the same gorgeous boy she’d known way back then. But time might have changed his appearance, and though it wouldn’t change the way she felt about him, she was more curious than she cared to admit.

“Oh, he still looks the same as he did back then,” her mother said.

“Does he?”

“Well, I mean, for the most part,” Eden continued, and Georgiana could hear the smile in her tone. “He’s broader, more muscled up, I guess you’d say.”

“More muscled up?” That would be hard to accomplish, since he was at peak shape back in high school, the best running back Claremont ever had as far as she knew. Wide shoulders, lean waist and powerful thighs that he used skillfully whenever he needed another few yards to make a first down. Or a touchdown. Landon had made his share of touchdowns during his career at Claremont High. Two more than Pete. Georgiana knew because Pete often complained about the fact and spouted the three plays where he could have scored if his line had only done their job, which would have put him over Landon’s record.

“His hair is short too, army style,” her mother continued. “That’s the biggest difference, I guess, and he looks more like a man now, not a boy.”

Georgiana nodded, wishing she could have seen the man her mother described. She’d never seen Landon with short hair. He’d always kept it long and wavy. Having his hair away from his face probably drew more attention to the chiseled jaw and the gold in his eyes. Landon was the only person she’d ever seen with eyes that were truly amber, like honey in sunshine.

“Same deep dimples,” her mother said, still describing the guy that was slowly but surely controlling Georgiana’s every thought. “They should outlaw those Cutter dimples. All three of them have those dimples, and even women as old as me notice. Landon, John and even that young Casey.”

That made Georgiana laugh. “So you’re saying Landon’s still a decent body double for Matthew McConaughey?”

“I’d forgotten how you used to say that about him,” her mother said with a laugh, “but yes, he looks like him.”

Georgiana nodded, thought about the gorgeous guy who’d been her best friend.

The barn grew quiet, with both of them evidently reflecting on how things could have been so different.

“Georgiana,” her mother finally said.

“Yes?”

“You should try again.”

She knew exactly what her mother was talking about, but still asked, “Try what?”

“Giving someone the chance to be there for you, to build you up instead of bring you down.”

“I did, Mom. Pete and I tried marriage counseling.”

“You tried marriage counseling.”

“He came off and on,” Georgiana said, then couldn’t stop herself from adding, “It was hard for him to deal with it all.”

“It was harder for you.”

Georgiana couldn’t argue with that. It was harder for her, no doubt. She was the one whose world had been upended, first with the move to Tampa and then with the loss of her sight and then finally with the abandonment of her husband. A triple whammy for sure.

“Honey, I know this hurts, but it needs to be said. Pete left that marriage before you ever went to that counselor. The minute you lost your sight, I’d say. There wasn’t anything left to save. I know that you feel like you don’t have anything to offer to another person, but you do. And it’s time for you to trust again, to trust someone not to break your heart.”

There was no point in being anything but honest. “I don’t think I can.”

“I’ve prayed for you to learn to trust again. And I honestly think God answered my prayers with Landon’s return home.”

“Mom,” Georgiana started, then decided to go ahead and tell her mother one part of the story she didn’t know. “When he came to see me that night at the hospital, I told him not to come back, that I didn’t want him in my life.”

Her mother cleared her throat. “Well, now, it looks like he didn’t listen.”

“What do you mean?” Georgiana asked, then she heard what her mother must have already seen. A horse’s steady gallop in the distance growing louder by the second. “I’m not even dressed to see anyone yet. I can’t see him now. I thought he said something about seeing Abi at her riding lessons. Surely he knows that’d be later in the day.” When Eden offered no response, Georgiana prompted, “Mom?”

“I’m going to head inside and check on Abi,” she said, then added in a whisper, “He’s the answer to my prayer, Georgiana. Let him help you.”

“Wait,” Georgiana pleaded, but her mother’s footsteps steadily left the barn.

God, please, stay with me now. Help me, Lord. Keep me strong.

She reached out for Fallon, but the horse had obviously moved to the paddock, probably because she heard the other horse approaching. “Fallon? Come here, girl.” She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and hoped her horse cooperated. She didn’t want to simply stand here and wait for Landon to enter the barn. She needed to be busy, needed to be doing something. “Fallon?”

But Fallon didn’t answer, and all Georgiana heard was the other horse’s steps easing to a stop. And then a bit of rustling as Landon obviously climbed off and tied Sam up. Slow and steady footsteps cautiously approached her in the barn. And Georgiana could do nothing but wait for the inevitable, being completely and totally alone with Landon.