Читать книгу Tata's Discoveries - Renke Liebig - Страница 7

2. ROLES

An athlete runs in the room.

He wants to know everything from me, Tata, how he can improve in a sporty way.

As well as physically as mentally.

How many hours he has to train? How often he has to train daily? His goal is to become the greatest football player of the world. Money and women play also an important role.

I remain quiet.

After some time I hand over to the ambitious athlete the article PLAYER, PILGRIM, STUDENT, MAN.

2.1 PLAYER, PILGRIM, STUDENT, MAN

I have played soccer for many years. I have played so long until an injury stopped me. I recovered from that. I began to play in a higher league. I trained until a collapse. I played hardly a match. I have gone until my limits. I was too ambitious. I was possessed for a long time by the dream, to be wealthy, to have money, to have a big house, to be famous. I wanted to be respected by others for what I can do. Not for what I am. I was completely imprisoned by the material world. My ego did not want to get rid of the fear of a possible defeat. I wanted to be the greatest soccer player in the universe. I wanted to win always. Always more. Always farther. Always higher. I lost more and more in doing so. It went so far, that I seemed to be in a good shape physically, although mentally I was tired.

During this time I have read a report about the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I want to do it in any case. A challenge, physically and mentally. The final test. Some months later I walked the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Respect. I have walked many kilometres. I have collected many impressions. It was a difficult journey. I got used to the long distances very fast. I was physically in a good shape. Particularly called me my spirit, my soul. A fellow pilgrim once said, that I move like a clock. All the time with a lot of energy, uphill and downhill. Always in the same rhythm. I was not able to adapt me to the individual character of the way. I was on an ego trip as a soccer player. As a pilgrim I wanted to do stuff differently. I did not want to have a lot of material things. Now I want to acquire knowledge in a high rhythm.

In this way I developed interest for languages. Especially in the area of Psychology I find it interesting, how the human functions. I removed myself from my goals on the outer level. My ego has identified less with material things, but with intellectual knowledge. The new topics were languages, psychology, and economy. These topics were my new i, where I have identified with. Career. I want this now. For many years I told all people that I do not care about material wealth. My life, the perfect career. This was the plan until the physical death. The ego identification moved away from the material level and towards the intellectual level. I was caught in my own little world. My ego has developed itself to megalomania. Everything shall be perfect, tidy and under control. All interruptions were perceived like a personal insult during this process. And sometimes I have not talked to other man for years which have crossed my path with completely trivial stuff.

Relationships and conversations with fellow man were a means to an end. I was always occupied by planning the future in a perfect manner. As a result I ignored the present moment. This was obvious in the study. I studied for longer time at different universities. I have never thought about the idea that something like safety may not exist. I raised my ambition and perfectionism towards the extreme. Everything was subordinated to the career. The last places of the priority list were reserved for relationships, health, and joy. I studied like crazy. I have passed all exams. At the end of the program the final thesis was missing. Suddenly I had fallen very deep and for my fellow man I became crazy indeed.

I desired recognition, status, safety, money, and knowledge. That was more important than listening to my soul. It does not matter how much I have. It does not matter how much I know. It is more important and easier to recognize that I am simply. I AM. Thus more can be developed. I am not my little ego. I am consciousness, which expresses itself through this body in the world. The thoughts are not the problem. However, I have identified with thoughts and thus created my ego. I fed for long time this false self-image. At first the ego has identified itself with the body. The ego has clung to the thoughts, when my body was not functioning very well. Nonetheless, I am neither my body, nor my thoughts. I am infinite consciousness.

I am here as man. I have occupied different roles as a player, pilgrim, or student. As man I will continue the journey. It will be seen, where my way in life will continue. One possibility is that I am one with the moment, with everything that is. The time has dissolved. I am free. I am not a slave of my limited believes, rules, and thoughts.

The athlete examines once again his values. His mindset, not his pulse. He expected practical advices for training. On the contrary I gave him an insight, how someone can lose himself in different roles. Of course one can experience everything that is possible in this world. It is a limited view, to lose yourself in your own ambition and to look only on the body. The sum of man consists of more than the purely physical construct of the body. To comprehend this, goes far beyond the rational mind.